Chapter 14
It had only been a few hours since Josie learned about the past-due loan, and somehow she’d held her tongue around her mother at work. Diane was all smiles as she flitted from one table to another, chatting with Josie as she went about her day. Josie could tell she thought they were on good terms, and in all honesty, Josie thought they were getting there until her meeting with Joe and Ethel. It was obvious the missing money had something to do with her mother, and she was going to find out how.
“Whew! It’s been a busy afternoon, huh?” Diane said, wiping her brow with the back of her hand as she walked over to the table where Josie was sitting with her laptop. She was trying to redesign the website for the restaurant to add the new hours and karaoke night, but she couldn’t figure out how to work the antiquated thing. If she had money, she’d hire someone else to do it.
“Yep.”
“Something wrong?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that?—”
“Hey, Mom! And Grandma,” Kendra said, suddenly appearing in the restaurant. Both women turned their focus to her.
“What are you doing here?” Josie asked, looking at the time on her phone. She had no idea school was already out.
“I stopped by to ask if you could go dress shopping with me now? Prom is next week.”
Dress shopping. More money Josie didn’t have. She was going to have to use what little money she had in savings just to survive for the next few months, especially if the restaurant got taken. Thank God the house was paid off. The thought of selling it to keep the restaurant afloat made her sick to her stomach. Maybe she could take out a mortgage?
“Oh, but we’re kind of busy here today. Can we go this weekend?”
Kendra’s face fell. “All the good dresses will be gone if they aren’t already. I was talking to my new friends at lunch today, and Katie said the dress shops sell out fast.”
Diane looked at Josie. “You know what? I’m sure the rest of the staff can hold down the fort while we go shopping for an hour. Dinner rush won’t start for a good three hours, anyway.”
“We?”
“Yes! Grandma, I’d love for you to go! This is going to be so fun! Mom?”
Josie paused for a moment. She didn’t want to disappoint her daughter, but she was so angry at her mother that it was going to take every bit of her strength not to snap.
“Of course. Let’s go. But only an hour. This place is a mess, and I need to get back.”
Kendra grinned and then did something unexpected. She hugged Josie. It was hard enough to get a normal teenager to hug their mother, but Kendra had never been overly affectionate. Josie had already seen big changes in her daughter since moving to Happy Harbor. Was it possible that the town had been a horrible place for her to grow up, but was the remedy to her own daughter’s problems?
Thankfully, the dress shop was only down the block, so they could walk there. Actually, everything in Happy Harbor was basically on the same street. Instead of a town square, they had one long main street with older buildings on each side. On any given day, people were walking down the sidewalks window-shopping.
Diane ran to the kitchen to tell the other staff that they’d be back, and then the three women stepped out onto the Riverwalk. As they walked, Josie was thankful that Kendra was doing most of the talking. She told them about her classes, what she ate for lunch, and more about Scotty.
Josie was both happy and surprised that her daughter had found such a good friend—or maybe boyfriend—so quickly. Kendra rarely opened up and allowed people in, much like her mother. She could only assume this boy was different.
“So, how are the repairs coming along?” Kendra asked.
“Slowly. Amazing how much damage a tree limb can cause,” Josie said, sighing. “And insurance doesn’t want to do much to help.”
“Oh, that stinks,” Kendra said, barely paying attention as she looked in the store windows.
“Your mom is doing a great job at the restaurant,” Diane said, smiling over at Josie.
“Thanks, but I don’t need your compliments,” Josie mumbled.
Diane looked surprised. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just the same old stuff.”
“Josie, tell me why you’re upset. I thought things were getting better...”
She looked over at her mother. “Right now is about my daughter. I would never want to ruin these special moments for her.”
Diane’s face fell, but she said nothing as they reached the dress shop. Kendra stared through the large glass window.
“Look at that black one with the slit up the side!”
“Um, no. That’s not appropriate,” Josie said.
“Mom, they wouldn’t sell it here if it wasn’t appropriate. Now, come on. I’ve got to try that on.”
Before she could push back, Kendra was in the dress shop with the black one in her hand. She still had that stubbornness lurking under the surface.
Josie and her mother silently walked into the shop and sat down in the two chairs in the dressing area. Kendra tried on the black dress but thankfully didn’t like it. She found a pink one she liked better and took it into the dressing room.
“Are you going to tell me what I did?”
Josie sucked in a sharp breath and blew it out. “I told you I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“I know something has happened, and you not telling me is just going to make everything worse. You have to learn to be more open and trusting, Josie.”
Josie could feel her blood boiling. How could this woman, the one person who had ruined her entire childhood, be saying that to her? Why did she think Josie was so untrusting?
“Let’s make this about Kendra right now. I don’t wanna talk about anything else.”
Diane leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “I want this to be about Kendra also, but you can’t just keep shutting me out when you get upset about something in your own mind.”
“In my own mind? You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about!” Josie said in a loud whisper.
The sales lady looked up from across the room, obviously aware some kind of altercation was going on.
“I just want to be a part of your life... and Kendra’s. If you won’t tell me what’s going on, I can’t help you.”
“Help me? You haven’t helped me a day in your life. But you always seem to help yourself.”
Diane’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? What is that even supposed to mean?”
“Hello, ladies.” Josie looked up to see Ethel standing there. She had a big smile on her face and was holding a shopping bag.
“Hi, Ethel.”
“I suppose you’re here to let Kendra try on dresses for prom?”
“Yes. She’s in the dressing room,” Diane said, her voice monotone.
“I’m here with my granddaughter, Lily. She’s in the dressing room too. Mind if I sit down?”
“Sure,” Josie said, not making eye contact as Ethel sat on the other side of her. She really wished she were alone right now.
“I heard about the restaurant having some damage from the storm the other night. How are the repairs going?”
If there was one thing Josie hated, it was small talk. But she knew in a small town like Happy Harbor, she had to play nice.
“They are going well, but slowly.”
“I’ve had to move in with Josie and Kendra for a little while,” Diane said.
“I’m going to see if Walker can speed up the repairs so the apartment will be available again,” Josie said, looking at Ethel but not her mother.
“Oh. Well, good luck with that.”
“I don’t know why you’re so mad at me,” Diane said under her breath.
“Oh my gosh! Can you let it go? I’m not talking about this right now.”
Kendra walked out of the dressing room with a stunning pink gown on. “What do y’all think?”
“You look beautiful!” Josie said. And she did. For a fleeting moment, Josie envisioned sitting in a dress shop one day while she watched her only child try on wedding dresses.
“I don’t know. I don’t really like these straps.”
The saleswoman walked closer, holding a long blue gown. “I think this one would look wonderful with your eyes.”
Kendra took it from her hand. “Okay. I’ll try it on.” Josie could tell her daughter was getting discouraged. There wasn’t a lot of inventory left in the store, given that prom was just a few days away.
Once Kendra went back into the dressing room, Diane looked over at her daughter again.
“Can you just trust me enough to tell me what’s going on?”
Josie had had enough. She stood up, turned around, and looked at her mother. “Don’t act like you don’t know what’s going on!”
“I don’t know what’s going on. That’s why I want you to tell me!”
“Is everything okay over here, ladies?” the saleswoman asked, whispering and trying to get them to lower their voices. Although there were no other customers in the store, it felt a bit like a library. Like they should keep their voices down. Why did people keep their voices so quiet in the library? It wasn’t like the books were sleeping.
“Everything is fine,” Josie said.
“Just spit it out. Tell me what it is.”
“Maybe this isn’t the right place for y’all to be talking about personal issues,” Ethel interjected. The saleswoman slowly backed away and went over to the checkout counter.
“I’ve been saying that the whole time, but this woman won’t stop.”
“Because you’re my daughter, and I’m trying my very best to forge a relationship with you. We were making headway just yesterday, and now suddenly you’re mad at me for some invisible thing that I did!”
“Maybe just talk about this later...” Ethel murmured.
“You know what? It’s fine. You already know what’s going on, Ethel. I might as well just tell my dear mother here why I’m so angry at her.”
Ethel covered her face with her hands. It was obvious she would’ve rather been anywhere else.
“So say it!” By this time, Diane was standing up, facing her daughter. It felt like at any moment they might just start wrestling on the floor.
“I know Nana took out a loan and gave you a bunch of money. And now the loan is behind several months and they’re going to take the restaurant!”
Josie looked over for a split second and noticed the saleswoman sitting behind the counter with her eyes wide. Juicy gossip in a small town was always appreciated.
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb, Diane. You know all about that money.”
“No, I actually don’t.”
“Tell her,” she said, turning to Ethel.
“I told you that in confidence, Josie,” Ethel said, softly. Her face was all shades of red.
“What’s going on out here?” Kendra asked, reappearing from the changing room. She was wearing the blue gown, which looked perfect on her, but the moment was ruined, just like so many moments in Josie’s life. Her mother was the root of all problems.
“Your mother is accusing me of something I didn’t do, as per usual,” Diane said, rolling her eyes.
“Can y’all please not do this right now?” Kendra asked through gritted teeth.
“I tried, trust me. Diane over here wouldn’t leave it alone.”
“Ugh!” Kendra said, turning and walking back into the fitting room.
“I know nothing about a loan, and I certainly didn’t take money from my mother!”
“You’re such a liar!” Josie said back, a little too loudly.
“Please shut up! Y’all are so embarrassing!” Kendra shouted from the changing room.
Suddenly, Ethel stood up. “Stop it! All of you!”
Josie and Diane turned around and looked at her while Kendra poked her head over the top of the changing room door.
“What’s your problem?” Josie asked.
“Your grandmother told me a secret in confidence, and she told me to never tell either of you. But I can see now that she wouldn’t want this either.”
“What secret?” Diane asked.
“She took out a terrible loan that had to be paid back over six months, but she didn’t give the money to your mother, Josie. Your mom knew nothing about it.”
“But you acted like it had something to do with my mother when we talked at Joe’s office.”
Ethel sighed. “Because it did. She just didn’t ask for it and didn’t know about it.”
“Please stop talking in riddles, Ethel,” Josie said, running her hand across her forehead.
“The money was for Dan.”
Josie felt like the air had been sucked from her lungs. Dan? Her mother’s long-gone ex-boyfriend, the mean, abusive drunk?
“Dan? What are you talking about? My mother hated that man. You know that,” Diane said.
“She did. He was probably the only person on the planet that she actually did hate.”
“Then why would she give him so much money?” Josie asked.
By this time, Kendra had rejoined them. The saleswoman gave up and went to the back, probably to hide until they all left.
“Because Dan came back for you, Diane. He claimed to be sober, but Adeline didn’t care. She knew he’d drag you right back down again, and she wouldn’t risk it. He told her he’d leave you alone forever if she paid him off, so she borrowed the money he asked for.”
Diane and Josie stood there with their mouths hanging open. Even Kendra didn’t speak a word.
“I don’t believe this,” Diane said softly. “I would’ve never gone back to Dan. He’s a horrible person, clean or sober. Why didn’t she just talk to me instead of putting herself in that position?”
Ethel shrugged. “You know she wasn’t herself in the last few months.”
“Where was I during all of this?”
“You just happened to be away with your church group.”
Josie stared off into space. What was she supposed to say now? Her mother had done nothing wrong, yet she’d blamed her. Now she looked like a real jerk. “I can’t believe this...” she stammered.
“The reason she asked you to take over the business is because she believed you were the only one who could save it, Josie. She knew she’d made a mistake giving that awful man so much money, but she thought you might be able to fix it and your relationship with your mother at the same time.”
Diane stood there, not speaking. She looked shell-shocked.
“I’m sorry I accused you,” Josie whispered. Apologizing wasn’t her strongest skill, but she was trying.
“Here’s my granddaughter,” Ethel said as a girl emerged from a dressing room where she’d no doubt been hiding. “Looks like she’s found her dress. I’ll see y’all later,” Ethel said, quickly leaving the trio.
“Are you okay, Grandma?”
Diane nodded as she put her hand up to her throat. “I just need to get out of here.”
* * *
Diane could feel her feet moving faster than they ever had. Was she running? She didn’t run normally. Maybe it was more like fast walking. She had joined one of those mall walker clubs a couple of years ago in an effort to get her aging body into some shape other than a circle. It didn’t last. Not only was the mall too far of a drive, but Cinnabon was too appealing.
“Wait up!”
She could hear Josie calling out behind her, breathless herself. Kendra eventually caught up and touched her arm.
“Grandma, stop running.”
Okay, maybe she was running. Her legs burning, she stopped and leaned over, her breath struggling to escape her mouth.
“Are you okay?” Josie asked.
She wanted to turn and yell that she was not okay, that none of this was okay. But her relationship with her daughter was tenuous at best, and she didn’t want to rock the boat. Her eyes welled with tears. “I don’t know.”
“Kendra, why don’t you take my card and pay for the blue dress? We’ll meet you at home,” Josie said. Her daughter nodded before rubbing her grandmother’s arm and disappearing down the sidewalk. “Come over here.” Josie pointed toward a wrought iron bench on the edge of the local park. Diane followed her and sat down.
“My mother gave that demon of a man money! How could she do that?”
“She loved you, despite it all.”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“I guess she was really scared you might go back to him.”
“I thought she knew me better than that.”
“No offense, but you made a lot of promises over the years, and you didn’t keep many of them.”
She sighed. “I’ve never been sober this long. I’ve never been in a program or taken it seriously. When will I ever get credit for changing my life?”
“People don’t really change,” Josie said, offhandedly.
“I hope you don’t believe that, Josie. Otherwise, the whole world is pointless.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“We’re put here on this earth to grow and learn. To help each other. To live abundant, fulfilling lives. Nobody can do that without changing. We all have challenges. Some people overcome theirs, but they don’t do that without changing.”
“When did you become so philosophical?” Josie asked, a hint of a smile on her face.
“The program changed my life, and it continues to change my life every day. I wake up each morning thankful that I’m sober and that I have another chance at life. Most of my former drinking buddies didn’t live to get another chance, but God blessed me with this redemption. I’m not blowing it for Dan, for you, or anyone. I love my sobriety more than I love myself.”
“I’m sorry I accused you. I just thought...”
“That people can’t change? Well, they can, and I did.”
Josie nodded. “I believe you.”
“You do?” Diane asked, her eyes filling with tears again.
“I do. I don’t fully trust you, but I can see that you’ve changed. I just don’t know how long it’ll last.”
“Neither do I. No addict knows. I hope it lasts forever, but I have to choose sobriety every moment of every day.”
“That’s scary.”
With hope in her heart, Diane reached over and took her daughter’s hand. “I never want to drink again. I don’t crave it or desire that lifestyle anymore. But any addict will tell you that getting cocky and saying you’ll never do this or that again is a sure way to a relapse. I have to be on alert each day for the rest of my life.”
Josie nodded, and they sat quietly for a while, hands still clasped. These tender mother-daughter moments had happened so few times in her life that she wanted to preserve every second.
“What am I going to do about the restaurant?” Josie finally asked, softly.
Diane sucked in a breath and blew it out. “I don’t know yet, but can we do it together? Can you just try to count on me?”
Josie thought for a moment. “Yes. I will make a choice every day, just like you do. I will choose to trust you until you give me a reason not to.”
Diane wanted to hug her, but she knew that was going too far, too fast. For now, she was happy sitting on that park bench with her daughter’s hand in hers. She couldn’t let her down. She had to save the restaurant and, in the process, save her relationship with her daughter. It was her last chance.