24. JAX – BULLSHIT AND BULLIES
JAX – BULLSHIT AND BULLIES
We’re three hours into this bachelor party, and I want to beat my head against a wall. We drove an hour to the marina where Tony’s best man rented him a yacht for the night with a private chef and half-dressed women to deliver the food and whatever else anyone asks for. Two of the men have already disappeared several times. Tony, however, has been great. He’s barely looked at the women, which is smart. If he did, I’d pluck his eyeballs out, put them on a skewer, toss them on the grill, then make him eat them.
Honestly, he seems a little… irritated. Most of his groomsman are single and the ones who have a ring on their finger seem like complete douchebags, but apparently, they went to school together. So, yay, frats and shit. They’re treating this like a party night for them instead of celebrating Tony.
If we weren’t parked in the middle of the ocean, I’d find some excuse and leave. Hell… I may still do it. The shore doesn’t look that far away and I’ve swum longer.
“Don’t do it.” A hand slides onto my shoulder.
Knox.
“Do what?” I ask, turning to face him.
“Jump overboard. It’s too far.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You could do it if your life depended on it, but you’re out of shape.” He pats my belly and smiles. “We’d both hate if I had to save you.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I shove him in the shoulder and laugh.
Emmett walks over and places his hand on both of our shoulders. “I’m dying. What are we going to do about this? Tony looks miserable and his groomsmen are too worried about getting their dicks yanked than celebrating him.”
“I say we throw the groomsmen overboard, move the yacht, then bet on which one gets back to the boat first,” I propose, only half kidding.
Knox’s eyes light up, then looks over his shoulder. “I call dibs are Mr. My-Biceps-Are-So-Sore-From-My-Two-Hour-Arm-Day guy.”
“Why would you want him? He has to swim numb nuts.”
“Because his arms aren’t sore. He didn’t work out for two hours today or yesterday. Hell, probably in at least a week.”
Emmett looks over his shoulder. “Fine. I got Mr. I-Don’t-Know-Which-Stock-I-Should-Buy.”
Knox agrees. “Solid choice. He’s got nice legs.”
“You’re an idiot,” I mumble.
Callum walks over. “What are you three up to?”
“We’re about to throw those douche canoes over the edge of the boat and then place bets on who makes it back first,” Knox says, thumbing over his shoulder.
“Ooh.” Callum rubs his hands together. “I’ve got Mr. High-low.”
“Is that the same guy as I-Don’t-Know-Which-Stock-I-Should-Buy?” Knox asks, brow furrowed, like it’s the most serious conversation we’ve ever had.
We all look towards the group of men huddled on the other side of the boat.
“Blue shorts, nice legs?” Callum asks.
“Yep.” Knox claps. “You can’t have him, Emmett called him.”
“Damn. Fine, I’ll take Pink-Shirts-Are-For-Real-Men.”
Knox puts his hand on Callum’s shoulder. “Yeah, he’s not making it back to the boat.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’m pretty sure he couldn’t make it a lap in a kiddie pool.”
“Damn.” Callum frowns.
“Who do you pick, Jax?”
Knox seems way too excited, like maybe he’s really planning on throwing them over the boat. I wouldn’t put it past him. He’s got a little bit of crazy in him and sometimes forgets to look at the line before he crosses it. Especially with pranks. He’s the guy that always takes them a little too far and doesn’t realize it until it’s too late.
When we were heading out for training, the dumbass thought it would be funny to empty a bag of beef jerky in my suitcase before we got in the car. So my luggage sat in the blistering sun for hours, then got on a plane for another several hours, got lost for a day. When I opened my suitcase, I cleared out the bunks and thought a skunk had climbed in and died. Pissed was an understatement.
Another time, the dumbass took a banana that was rotting and hid it in the wall of my room. Little did he know that the hole he dropped the banana into was getting patched that day. It took us three weeks to figure out where the smell was coming from. He thought I’d found it and thrown it away the same day he placed it. Nope. That shit was almost liquid.
“I may throw I’m-A-Trained-SEAL-Who-Is-The-Biggest-Pain-In-Everyone’s-Ass, in.”
Knox turns to look at the other group. “Who, over there, is a SEAL?”
“No one. I’m talking about you, dumbass.”
“I’m not over there.”
“Jesus, fuck.” I reach towards Knox and grab his shoulders and lift to pretend to throw him in, but in typical Knox fashion, he makes a scene.
“No, daddy. No! I’ll let you put it anywhere you want,” he yells out, then wraps his legs around my waist.
“You’re a dumbass.”
The other guys look with amused smiles on their face.
“I’m sitting you down,” I bark out.
He waits a beat, then unhooks his legs.
When I look at Emmett, he has a shit-eating grin on his face and I just want to wipe it off. “Shut it,” I warn.
“What? I didn’t say anything.” Emmett laughs, shrugging his shoulders.
“What do you think Ev is doing right now?” Knox asks.
“Probably making sure they all don’t get arrested,” I mumble. Those three spell nothing but trouble when they’re together and then add in the other ladies I don’t know…
“Everything ok over here?” Tony teases, walking over, hands spread out like he’s on guard.
“All good. Jax thought it would be funny to throw me in. But if I’m going in, so is this guy.” Knox pats my chest.
“Pretty sure if anything happened to any of you, Ev would kill me. She seems sweet on the outside, but I bet she has some kick ass on the inside.”
“She’s a black belt,” Knox coos proudly.
“Yep. Exactly why I’ll never cross her,” Tony laughs.
“Did you all say you’re thinking about going for a swim?” High-low asks, sticking his head into the conversation and the others follow.
I should remember their names, but I don’t like them, so I don’t care.
“No, Jax here thought it would be funny to throw me in.”
“We’d come get you,” High-low taps his friend’s chest with the back of his hand.
“Kind. So very kind. But I’m like a fish in the water.”
One guy in the back snickers and I can see where this is going, and it pisses me off. Not because of where it’s going, but because they doubt Knox’s badassness. Only I’m allowed to make fun of him. Not these dickwads.
Brilliant, witty, Knox must sense it in the air, because his back straightens. He’s always been great at sniffing out bullshit and bullies and these guys reek of both. They were the jocks who walked around campus with a stick shoved up their ass, thinking they were the cat's meow with their hair parted to the side and the popped collar bullshit.
Knox continues to push a little further after seeing the reaction after his last comment made. “Pretty fast, actually.”
High low laughs, “Bryce here was state champion, two years in a row.”
Without batting a lash, Knox steps forward, sucks on his teeth and looks Bryce, also known as pink shirt, up and down like a headmistress would inspect a rambunctious student sure they’ve been up to no good, then simply says, “Nah. I don’t see it.”
Pink shirt obviously steps back offended.
So Knox, being Knox, doubles down. “I don’t see it. You may have been state champ twice when you were like ten, but you probably can’t swim all that good anymore.”
Bryce’s friends all laugh, while several looks of anger and surprise sweep across his face.
“Let’s go!” Bryce says. Arrogant, macho asshole.
“In there now?” Knox is a master manipulator. I fucking love him. He hones in on people’s buttons and taps them just enough to get a reaction from them, guiding them along the path Knox wanted them to go all along.
“Unless you’re scared.”
“Brother, I’m not scared.”
“Then let’s go,” Bryce unbuttons this shirt. When Knox doesn’t move, Bryce’s temper flares. “Well. Aren’t you going? Backing out? Scared?”
A little hothead. Knox is going to wipe him.
“I was going to stay dressed to give you a chance.”
Bryce’s friends ooh and ahh.
“No. When I wipe your ass, I don’t need you coming up with excuses.” He reaches his arm into the air then starts flapping them across this chest.
Knox turns to look at me. “He’s going to wipe my ass.” He turns back to Bryce. “That’s kind of intimate. Are you going to watch me shit too?”
Emmett chimes in, “He’s always been a bit literal.”
“I’m not actually going to wipe his ass. What the fuck?” Bryce mews in disgust.
Knox’s lips pinch. “Damn.”
“Let’s go then.” Bryce flicks his wrist in the air as he stands in nothing but a pair of silk boxers with a neon-colored paisley design on them.
“Fine.” Knox sighs and yanks off his shirt, causing buttons to go flying. “I really liked that shirt, too.”
“You could have unbuttoned it.” Bryce rolls his eyes.
“You seem to be in a hurry to get beat, so…”
“Fuck off.”
I almost think I can see steam pumping out of Bryce’s ears.
Knox’s pants puddle at his feet as he steps out of them.
Arm’s-So-Sore chokes. “Dude, he’s a fucking SEAL.”
Bryce looks at Knox, “What?”
“The tat.” Arm’s-So-Sore points to his chest, where Knox’s tattoo is.
Bryce backhands the air and dismisses it.
Arm’s-So-Sore asks, “Are you all?”
Callum answers first, then Emmett. “No, I’m a chef.”
The fourth guy in the back who’s been quiet most of the night gets excited. “Bro, I thought I recognized you from your pics in those magazines.”
“What?” Bryce asks.
Apparently, Bryce forgot every other word in the dictionary since all he can keep saying is what.
“Cooking magazines,” the guy in the back answers, stepping forward with a smile on his face.
Bryce’s laugh is condescending, causing my fists to tighten at my sides, and a second later, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I know without looking it’s Callum.
“Maybe you could have cooked for us tonight,” Bryce comments, and Tony’s eyes shoot at us with a worried glance.
“Come on Bryce,” Tony urges.
Bryce throws his hands up in the air. “I’m all good, man.” He takes the beer that’s been dangling between his fingers and tilts it up. “Let’s go, bro! My man is getting married tomorrow!”
“Maybe you shouldn’t do this Bryce,” Tony suggests.
“I’ll be fine. State champion, right here.” He thumbs at himself.
“Yea, like twenty years ago,” Arm’s-So-Sore says.
“Fifteen. And whose side are you on?”
“Yours, of course,” he drones out like he’s been asked this question a thousand times.
Knox hops over the railing with ease and jumps up and down a few times, shaking out his arms. “Where to?”
“That buoy and back,” Bryce points out.
“That’s far.”
“Scared you can’t do it?”
“Oh, I can do it, no problem. I’m scared you can’t and then I’ll have to haul your drunk ass back to the boat.”
“Don’t you worry about me.” Bryce bends down and touches his toes. “Oh, yeah.” He smells the air. “Did I mention I’ve been swimming again? Doing laps every morning at our country club’s pool? Started last week.”
“I don’t think you mentioned that. You must really be in shape then.”
Knox’s words are delivered with just the right amount of fuck and off.
“On my mark,” I say, since I’m the closest.
“Get ‘em,” Emmett encourages.
“Hoo-yah!” Knox chants back.
“Around the buoy and back. First to climb back up wins.”
“Let’s go.” Bryce stretches his arms into the air.
“Three… two… one… Go!”
Both guys jump into the water, with Bryce getting a longer dive than Knox. They swim several strokes and are fairly close, but as they continue to swim, they fade away. It’s dark out tonight, and the light from the crescent moon isn’t enough to light that far out.
When I glance over my shoulder, I find Emmett being chatted up by the guy from earlier. When he sees me looking, he tosses me a wink.
The other guys come to the railing and start screaming and cheering for Bryce. The splashes from their hands cutting through the water start to fade and sound like nothing more than waves crashing off in the distance.
“Let’s go Knox,” I shout.
“Cheering for Knox?” Callum walks up beside me with a dopey grin on his face.
“Tell him, and I’ll deny it.”
Callum laughs, then grips the handrail, his voice dropping. “You think Ev is ok?”
“I think she’s great, but probably not having as much fun because she’s so worried about Lizzy finding out.”
Silence stretches between us and out in the distance I see a head pop up near the buoy with a muffled shout following quickly behind. It disappears and about a minute later, another head pops. Knox must have been the first one around.
The guys beside me get louder in their cheering and clapping as slaps of the water get louder and louder. My eyes strain to see anyone or anything in the water, so I try to focus my hearing. Minutes pass and Knox should have been back my now, or at least visible.
Hands gripped tightly on the rail, I lean forward, staring into the darkness, trying to find Knox’s stupid little head. But there’s nothing. I don’t even think they’re swimming anymore.
The guys beside me are cheering and laughing, sipping on their beer without a care in the world.
“What’s wrong?” Callum asks, picking up on my concern.
Emmett is over with Tony a second later.
“Quiet.” I wave towards the guys, but they don’t stop. Straining to hear, to see, to anything… heart pounding in my chest, I grab the one guy that is being the loudest by the throat and shove him backwards. “I said to shut the fuck up.”
“What’s wrong?” Tony asks, worried laced in his voice.
“They should have been-”
“Jax!” Knox cries out from an unknown distance away.
“Shit! Stay here!” I command before leaping over the railing and into the water blindly. It doesn’t matter though. Knox needs me and Knox will get me.
The cool water bites against my warm skin, feeling like razors. Flashbacks of our cold-water training come crashing into me. Probably my least favorite of all the things we did.
“Knox!” I scream out, searching, but still not seeing.
Another second passes. “Jax.”
Knox’s voice comes from up ahead and to my right, so I make the adjustments and push forward.
Pausing, I listen for any sign, but all I hear is the water lapping against the edge of the buoy in the distance.
“Knox?” My pulse is pounding through my ears. If that little shit gets himself hurt or worse, I’ll bring him back to life then kill him myself. He’s Knox fucking Fisher. His life doesn’t end doing a swim around a buoy off a yacht at a bachelor party.
“Here! Here!” Knox slaps the water to grab my attention.
Three strokes and I’m in front of him. “Are you ok? What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine. It’s Bryce. Grab him.”
“I’m fine,” Bryce grumbles through chattering teeth.
“He’s weak. He won’t be able to make it back.”
“I can if you’ll just let me go!”
“Fine!” Knox says, exasperated, throwing his hand in the air and letting go of Bryce’s arm. “Let’s go.”
Knox starts kicking back towards the boat with ease. He was always better with the cold-water exercises than I was. He always used to tease me and say it should be the other way around since my heart is so cold… then when he wouldn’t get a response, he’d pretend like he just had the greatest idea and say it’s because he’s so warm and full of energy, he’s able to withstand the cold longer.
Bryce makes two strokes and dips under the water.
“I’m not dealing with your macho man bullshit. I’m helping you back to the boat if I have to knock you out and carry you. So just shut the fuck up and take the help or you’re going to die or worse, get me hurt. I’ve got a lady and a baby waiting for me and I don’t intend to miss a second of that life because you’re a fucking idiot.” I grab him under the arm, roll on my side and start kicking. Bryce kicks some, which helps. “Knox, get back to the boat and get some warming blankets ready.”
“On it.”
Knox kicks hard and fast.
“I could have made it,” Bryce says through chattering teeth.
“You couldn’t. You may be a national champion or whatever, but we’ve trained for this… for the cold. There was never a chance you’d win, not when the water is this cold.”
“It’s June.”
“And this isn’t the Florida Keys.”