NINETEEN #3
He glances back at the house, dropping his voice to a whisper.
“I didn’t come here to be a conscript. I only went to the Bellatorum to see if someone knew how I could find you.
Enlisting was the only way inside Vennaro.
I just couldn’t leave you behind. I need to get you away from all this.
” His eyes brighten. “We can leave. Have that adventure we always talked about. Just the two of us.”
The adventure he always talked about. Is that why he’s here?
“I can’t. My family …” I shake my head.
But he keeps pushing. “Your family is safe with the troops there.”
“And if I disappear, Bishop will pull them out.” I can’t risk what might happen if he does. Bishop has more pressing needs than worrying about my family’s safety.
Kieren shakes his head. “They reopened the outpost near the eastern border. The one by the Cinderwald.”
I blink, trying to process this. The outpost near the ancient forest was abandoned long before I was born. Now we use its land for fields to grow corn, the soil still richer there from the ash that fell when Ravenell’s volcano erupted. “We need those fields.”
“Broderic only agreed after Bishop promised we could keep using them,” Kieren reassures me. “And he said the troops will help with the spring planting.”
A permanent outpost. I can’t decide if I’m relieved or horrified. Damalis is peaceful. Or it was until the murder last week. Maybe it’s for the best.
But there’s something that still doesn’t make sense. “When did Bishop arrange this?”
“During his visit last week,” Kieren says. “His inspection took forever. I thought the two of them were going to kill each other, but somehow, everyone survived.”
Bishop wasn’t in Wintour. He lied to me. Why not tell me he was going to my home region? Why say he was in the royal city the whole time?
Kieren studies me. “Do you trust him?”
I might have said yes before. Now? Why didn’t he tell me? “I want to.”
“That means you don’t,” he says, like he’s reading my mind. He still knows me better than anyone else.
I hesitate, trying to put words to the chaos in my head. “He isn’t …” I’m not sure what to say, because Bishop lied. Not just about going to Wintour. He told me Hadrian is his uncle—after not telling me about him at all. He’s researching forbidden books.
“He’s dangerous,” Kieren says in a low voice, glancing back at the house like Bishop might be able to hear us.
I know that. But he also drank two bottles of wine with me last night and admitted why his estate is run-down. Told me he doesn’t want to go to war. He might have rejected me, but he also opened up. A little. “He’s … complicated.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous.” His hands grip me more tightly, like he’s resisting the urge to shake some sense into me. “When news reached us about the murder, I thought he was going to burn the entire region down.”
Cold dashes through me. Bishop didn’t tell me any of this, even when I asked about his trip. “He was there after the murder?”
“And before.” Kieren releases me with a weary sigh. “He stopped negotiating the arrangements for the outpost with Broderic to investigate himself. I suppose it makes sense. I would be on edge if two murders happened right under my nose.”
Kieren might be, but Bishop? The night of the Quincentennial flashes through my mind.
He was watchful but calm. After the Petition, he knew exactly what to do, where to take me, how to hide me.
It’s just another reason Bishop and I will never see eye to eye.
Death doesn’t even faze him enough to warrant him mentioning it.
“And that’s why we need to go,” he says, jolting me from my thoughts.
He pauses for a second like he’s screwing up his courage.
“At midnight. We can head to the Lost Continent. I already have a contact. He hangs out at The Last Drop in the village. We can be on open sea by sunrise. Before he even knows we’re gone. ”
“You really want to run away?” I ask slowly. “With me?”
Treason. I swallow, and the word begins to churn inside me.
Kieren offers a sad smile that makes my stomach turn over. “That raven-mark isn’t going away, and when your magic awakens … You can’t go back to Damalis. We both know that. But you can’t stay here, either.”
The words feel too close to the truth, like he’s peeled something raw out of me and shoved it in my face.
I don’t want him to be right—but I’m afraid he is.
I’m the one living with this mark and what I might become.
I pace in a tight circle, hugging my arms around my waist, suddenly aware of the chilly air.
But the knot of dread inside me tightens.
Right now, the mark of Ravenell on my chest is the least of our problems. He’s so focused, so worried about me, he doesn’t understand the mistake he made.
“If you desert,” I say, forcing each word past the lump in my throat, “you’ll be charged with treason. ”
I can’t let him risk that, but how is it any better than him joining the army?
“Tomorrow, I swear my pledge to Order Marius. Once they put their mark on me, I’ll be lucky to take a piss without someone knowing,” he says, and the weight on my chest grows so heavy I can hardly breathe.
Kieren shrugs as if this is just some boring fact.
I want to grab him and shake him, make him see what he’s done by coming here, but I just stare as he continues.
“They can’t track me before then. That’s why I need to go tonight. I already have passage arranged.”
My legs threaten to give out from under me. He came to the Bellatorum to find me. That’s the only reason, or he would already be on a boat to the Lost Continent, off to have his adventure. Not about to commit treason.
“Kieren …” I search for the right words through a dizzying rush of panic. It’s all happening so fast. Too fast.
He swallows and takes a step back. “I understand if you want to stay. But I don’t have a choice. There’s nothing left for me here. I thought …”
He pauses, and I’m not certain I want to know what other foolish belief led to his recklessness.
Something rustles in the closest bramble, and I jump, looking over my shoulder quickly to make sure we’re still alone. My heart thrashes against my ribs. If someone overheard us …
No one’s there. Still, my pulse refuses to slow.
He moves closer and plants a gentle hand on my wrist, calling me back to the moment. “We could have a life. Not as Icaros or Ravenell or any of that shit. Just us. Somewhere people don’t care about the Stars or magic or birthrights.”
The thought settles like a warm blanket, calming me just enough to help me see his point. But there’s something else. It’s not just that people don’t care. Different stars hang over the Lost Continent. There will be no magic to awaken. I close my eyes, almost dizzy with the possibility.
But when I open them, the stars are still there—cold, distant, unmoved by things as trifling as hopes and dreams—and panic floods back through me.
I fight it. I need a clear head. “Kieren,” I say slowly, “maybe you should stay.”
I can talk to Bishop. Make him promise to keep my best friend here. No matter what.
But Kieren shakes his head. “I’m only here for you.
If you don’t want to come, I’ll understand.
” He glances toward Miradores, eyes narrowing like it’s the reason I’m hesitating.
I don’t have the energy to argue. To try to make him see how big of a mess we’re in.
“But I’ll wait for you at the crossroads that lead to Wolf’s Keep until midnight.
If you don’t show, I’ll assume you made your choice. ”
It’s so black-and-white to him, but the whole world feels gray around me. What am I going to do?
“I’ll think about it,” I whisper.
That seems to satisfy him. “I’ll be waiting.” He takes one step before stopping again. “Meet me at midnight.”
Then he turns and slips away, vanishing through the back gate without a sound.
I watch the empty path for a long time, my heart thundering louder than the waves below.
I’m more lost than ever.
I stumble back into the house. Vessica’s shrewd voice drifts from the great room, followed by a cheerful burst of laughter from Taliesin.
They sound … normal. Because they belong to this place in a way I never will.
Kieren never will. A gust rattles the windows like it’s got a score to settle, jolting me back to reality.
There’s no time for a pity party. I only have until midnight.
I head away from their laughter to the servant stairs off the kitchen, hoping I find a solution to this mess on the way. But as I climb the first step, I’m no closer.
“You were out there a while.” Bishop’s gravelly voice startles me, and I grab the handrail to keep myself from tripping.
I turn toward him, clutching the railing as blood begins to pound in my ears.
He’s standing at the base of the staircase, glowering like my father used to when he caught me sneaking in after dark.
Question after question hits me as I stare back at him.
If Kieren is caught deserting, will Bishop be the one to execute him for treason?
Will he cut him down as ruthlessly as he did that thief in the alley for using forbidden magic?
I shake my head a little as if I can clear my thoughts. “We had a lot to catch up on.” I keep my voice light, hoping he can’t hear the trembling undercurrent in every word.
A muscle works in Bishop’s jaw. “Like what?”
He starts toward the steps, hands balled into fists like he already suspects something. Panic bleats in my chest, and I scramble for an answer that doesn’t include Kieren’s foolish plan to run away to the Lost Continent.
“Like the fact that you were in Damalis.” I swallow and lift my chin. “Why did you lie about being in Wintour?”
That makes him pause. “I didn’t. I stopped in Wintour on my way.”
“But you were in Damalis most of the time,” I accuse.