Chapter 41
Knox
Four weeks in LA, and Knox had memorized the grocery store two blocks from Jacob and Liam’s home. He knew which aisle the cereal was in without checking the signs. He knew the cashier with the purple hair worked mornings. He knew the parking lot filled up fastest on Saturdays after ten.
He didn’t need anything. He was there anyway.
He stood in front of the refrigerators, staring at rows of drinks he wasn’t going to buy.
Standing under the fluorescent lights of aisle nine was easier than sitting in Jacob’s living room, where laughter drifted in from the kitchen, toys ended up underfoot, and life moved forward without hesitation.
Knox didn’t know where to insert himself into something that steady.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, making his heart kick hard enough to hurt.
He didn’t need to check. Four weeks without a word had burned that lesson deep enough. Dominic wasn’t calling, or texting. He’d taken Knox’s request for space and honored it with a silence so complete it felt less like respect and more like punishment.
Knox’s hand moved before his pride could stop it. He dragged the phone out and stared at the screen. Weather alert.
Of course.
The adrenaline drained out of him as fast as it had come, leaving behind something sour and familiar: disgust at himself. At the pathetic Pavlovian response his body had to a vibrating phone, and the way every cell in him was waiting to be summoned by a man he’d chosen to leave.
You asked for this.
You did this to yourself.
He shoved the phone back into his pocket and leaned into the refrigerated case, pressing his arms against the cold glass, letting it steady him.
Four weeks.
The silence meant—what? That Dominic had accepted it? That he’d moved on? That the person Knox had been so terrified of losing had let go of him first?
At least Dominic was still taking care of his mother.
Knox talked to her a few times a week now.
The nurse was still coming and the psychologist appointments hadn’t stopped.
Maybe Dominic had already moved on, forgotten him completely.
But he was keeping his word about her, and Knox tried to let that be enough.
He grabbed a bottle of water just so his hands had something to hold and headed for the checkout. The cashier with the purple hair smiled at him. “You’re back again?”
“Yeah.”
“Must like our selection,” she said with a wink.
“Something like that.”
He paid in cash, pocketed the change, and stepped into the heat.
* * *
Jacob and Liam’s place was modern—glass walls, pale wood floors, and the kind of architecture that made everything look deliberate. But it wasn’t cold, which was entirely Liam’s doing. There were plants crowding the windowsills, books stacked unevenly on the coffee table, and photos everywhere.
Every flat surface seemed to hold a frame. Jacob and Liam on a red carpet, both laughing at something off-camera. Liam mid-spin with Jacob’s son over his shoulder. Birthday cake smeared across small cheeks. Beach days. There were dozens of them.
Proof that this life had weight.
They hadn’t run from each other.
Knox moved toward the kitchen, the thought stuck under his skin like a splinter.
The house was quiet today. The kids wouldn’t be here until the weekend, the difference noticeable in the absence of scattered voices and sudden movement. There was only the low murmur of voices coming from the kitchen. Knox followed it without thinking.
Then he froze in the doorway.
Jacob had Liam backed against the counter, one hand around his throat in a possessive hold that was somehow more intimate for how natural it looked. Jacob dipped his head and pressed a kiss to Liam’s temple, then along his cheek.
Liam tipped his head back automatically, giving Jacob better access. There wasn’t a trace of hesitation in him. Not the slightest flicker of wariness.
Knox’s chest constricted. For one disorienting second, his mind betrayed him and supplied a different body in that space. A different mouth at his ear. A different hand settled heavy at his throat.
Heat climbed his neck so fast it made him unsteady. He should have stepped back, made a noise, given them warning. Instead he stood rooted in place, watching an unguarded moment between two people who loved each other.
Knox felt something ugly and raw uncoil low in his stomach. He was happy for them. He was. They’d torn their lives apart and built something better out of it, solid enough to stand in daylight without apology.
His throat started to close.
He swallowed, but it didn’t ease anything. The tightness felt all wrong—constricted and swollen, like words were caught there that would choke him if he let them surface.
He missed him.
God, he missed him.
He watched Jacob claim Liam’s mouth with a hunger that looked almost predatory. Liam made a needy sound that dragged Jacob deeper, his hand tightening at Liam’s throat in answer. The intimacy of it pressed against a wound inside Knox that hadn’t healed—that hadn’t even begun to.
Knox couldn’t get enough air.
He missed Dominic so fiercely it felt like taking a blow to the chest. He missed the weight of his attention, the way danger and safety blurred around him until they were the same thing.
He’d left to survive. That was the story he’d told himself. Leave before it owns you. Leave before it becomes the thing that can destroy you.
But watching Jacob hold on to Liam as though letting go had never been an option, Knox felt the lie in that logic split wide open.
Had he made the right choice?
He’d cut it off before it could destroy him. So why did it still feel like he was bleeding out?
His grip tightened on the water bottle until the plastic crackled.
Jacob’s head turned first, Liam’s following a second later. His hand slid from Liam’s throat, trailing down his collarbone before dropping away. Liam exhaled and took a small step back, straightening his shirt. “Hey,” he said easily. “We were about to make a very late breakfast. You hungry?”
Knox forced his fingers to relax. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt,” he muttered, hating how flat his voice came out.
“Don’t be silly,” Liam said at once, already reaching for a pan like nothing had happened. “You’re just in time. I’m attempting breakfast burritos. Could go very well or very badly. You want some?”
A small huff escaped Knox. “Yeah. I could eat.”
“Good.” Liam looked satisfied. “Then you’re on coffee duty.”
Knox moved to the machine, grateful for something to do. Movement was easier than standing still under Jacob’s gaze—because Jacob hadn’t looked away. “You look upset,” he said.
Knox turned away before the look in Jacob’s eyes could press any deeper. “I’m fine.”
“You’re crushing that bottle hard enough to break it, and you won’t look at me. That doesn’t seem fine to me.”
Knox grabbed a mug and pressed a button on the machine. It whirred softly as it filled. He kept his eyes on it like it required his complete attention. “I said I’m fine.”
“You haven’t been fine since you arrived here,” Jacob said.
Knox bristled. Maybe because Jacob sounded so certain. Or because hearing concern in his brother's voice hurt more than indifference ever could. Knox set the mug down harder than he meant to. “You know me that well already?”
Jacob didn’t flinch. “Enough to know when you’re hurting.”
Knox wished he hadn’t turned around. Jacob was watching him with an unbearable steadiness that stirred up too much at once—the closeness he’d walked in on, the piercing reminder of what he’d left behind, the specific cruelty of watching two other people love each other openly while the person Knox loved was four hundred miles away because Knox had chosen to put him there.
His throat closed, and to his horror, tears pressed hot behind his eyes. He looked away too late. Something must have shown, because Jacob’s expression changed, alarm flashing behind the calm.
Knox gripped the counter and blinked furiously, willing himself back under control.
Silence stretched.
Liam cleared his throat and clapped his hands once. “Okay,” he said brightly, perfectly aware of the tension filling the room. “It’s too early for a heavy emotional reckoning. We haven’t even eaten yet.”
The forced lightness broke the tension just enough for Knox to breathe again. He lowered his head, pretending to focus on filling the second mug with coffee, and the third.
“You should come out with us tonight,” Liam said, turning toward him with cheese in his hand. “We’re meeting Mason at a bar for drinks.”
“Mason?” Knox asked, grateful for anything neutral to focus on.
“Friend of mine,” Jacob said.
“He’s charming,” Liam added. “You’ll like him.”
Knox wanted to say no immediately, but the thought of sitting alone upstairs, waiting for nothing, didn’t feel like a better option.
Liam leaned back against the counter. “You’ve been carrying something heavy. We both see it. That’s not even getting into the scars you won’t talk about. You can’t keep carrying it by yourself forever. When you’re ready, we’re here.”
There was too much truth to argue with, so he said nothing.
“Come join us tonight,” Liam continued. “It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Just drinks.”
Knox exhaled. The words came before he’d fully decided. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll come.”
Liam grinned. “Good. I was prepared to keep going until you caved.”
A faint smile pulled at Knox’s mouth.
Jacob stepped forward, collecting two of the coffee mugs and moving toward Liam. But before he turned, he looked at Knox. “Glad you’re coming,” he said.
Simple words, but they loosened the knot in Knox’s chest that had been pulled tight for weeks. For the first time since arriving in LA, the ache inside him didn’t feel quite so solitary.
* * *
The bar was quieter than Knox had braced for. Not a trendy LA club packed wall-to-wall with influencers and wannabes. Just a comfortable room full of people having conversations and minding their own business.