Chapter Fifteen
“Well, I have some good news and some, uh, not so good news,” John said.
Mary was standing outside the hotel, leaning against the sandstone building, waiting with bated breath. Was she about to get handed over to the local authorities and locked up?
The deputy dispelled that notion quickly.
“Good news is I’m not going to make you stay in the McAlester jail,” he said.
She breathed a sigh of relief. As a Deputy United States Marshal, it was his right to request local law house a prisoner. The McAlester marshal probably would have gone along with it, too. Mary had enough experience with these things to know how it worked. Lawmen usually supported other lawmen.
“I reckon you proved yourself back there,” he said with a nod. “And I’m mighty obliged to you. I know you didn’t have to come back.”
She waved off the appreciation, feeling a little uncomfortable.
There was a small sliver of her that wished she was running free right now. She could have ridden one of those horses straight west. Found a train station and hopped aboard a locomotive that would take her all the way to California and the ocean.
But for some reason, even though she was his prisoner, being with John was just what felt right. Her heart was content. She couldn’t explain it.
“What about that bad news?” she prodded.
He looked a little sheepish. A group of older women walked by on the sidewalk, and John cleared his throat and tipped his hat. “Evening,” he said.
“Evening,” one of the ladies responded.
Once they’d passed, John’s eyes went back to Mary.
The clopping of horse hooves was heard from the street, along with the sound of several wagons rolling past.
Finally, after clearing his throat again, he said, “I got us a room here in the hotel. But…uh…they’re down to their last one.”
Mary fought a grin. She now understood why he was so uncomfortable.
“I’m not talking about anything improper here,” he quickly added. “I’ll just bunk down on the floor. Heck, if they have a rug down it’ll be softer than the ground I’m used to.” He chuckled.
Now it was Mary who was fighting the urge to blush. She didn’t know why. She’d already spent a night with him. Of course, nothing happened on that hard cave floor. And it had all ended when a mountain lion meandered up on them. There wasn’t a chance to do much under circumstances like that.
Sleeping in an honest to goodness hotel room seemed different, though. It seemed…intimate.
“If you’re worried about your honor, I understand,” he said. “I can see if the holster would let me bed down in the livery stable with my horses and—”
“My honor? I’m an outlaw queen,” she said with a laugh. “Remember?”
He laughed, too.
Something in his eyes told her maybe he didn’t buy all the stories about her, after all.
“I’ll carry the gear up. Once it’s stowed away, we can have a meal in the hotel restaurant. I’ll see if the desk clerk can send someone to fetch you a nightgown from the store or something. I assume sleeping in that dress isn’t very comfortable,” he said, picking up his bedroll and other items he’d stripped off the horses. “Rest will be important tonight, too. I want us to hit the trail bright and early tomorrow morning. We’ve got a long way to Fort Smith yet.”
Mary’s heart sank.
Fort Smith meant jail. And court.
And being separated from John Hardin.
She tried to stuff those feelings down and just enjoy the moment.
They were together now. She’d take whatever time she could get.
***
Dinner passed uneventfully.
There had been some conversation, but for the most part, it was pretty quiet. Mary wasn’t sure if that was because John was tired, because he felt himself getting too involved with her, or was trying to keep it professional.
Either way, she was a tad disappointed, though she didn’t voice that.
Once they were walking back into the room, John said, “I’ll step out and give you some privacy. That nightgown is supposed to be waiting on the bed.”
Sure enough, it was.
“Thank you for this,” she said.
He simply nodded and waited outside the room while she changed.
After she had changed and he came back in, she thanked him again. “It’s nice to be out of that dress.” She pushed on the mattress. “If I’m going to sleep in this nice, big, soft bed, I want to really enjoy it.”
“Yes, ma’am. That makes sense.”
They readied for bed, both facing the opposite direction, trying to act as if they didn’t want to peek. She’d be in that gown all night but would be more concealed once she was under the covers. Right now, she felt a tad exposed, but not outright indecent. And it made her smile that John was pretending as if he didn’t want to steal a glance.
At least, she assumed he was pretending.
She certainly was.
She wanted nothing more than to glance over and feast upon the sight of his shirtless torso as he used the wash basin to clean up, but she resisted the urge.
Well, she resisted it for as long as possible. After a few moments, she just couldn’t hold out.
His back was knotty with taut muscles, and the bulge of his shoulders caused her to lick her lips.
She was so lost in thought that she didn’t realize he was turning around until it was too late and she was staring at his bare chest and gorgeous, sculpted abs.
“Guess we’ll get on the road at first light, huh?” she said, eager to fill the awkward silence and direct the focus away from her obvious gawking.
“That’s the plan,” he said. “We’ll eat some breakfast and load up on some provisions, so we do need to stay around at least until the general store opens. But I think that’s six or seven. So not too late.
“It’s about a two-and-a-half-day ride from here to Fort Smith still. And that’s if we push it. But with the mountains we have to go through, well, it might take us three and a half or so. No sense in wasting any more time.”
She nodded. Tears were threatening to spill out of her dampening eyes.
Two or three days was all she had left with John. And then it was goodbye.
Probably forever.
***
It was a little past midnight when Mary kicked out of the bed’s covers.
She was trying to be as quiet as possible, but evidently John still heard her, because he said, “What has you all fired up?”
Sitting, she looked to where he lay on the floor, though she couldn’t make out any details in the darkness, just a lump lying in a bedroll.
“I thought you were trying to get some rest,” she whispered.
She could hear the humor in his voice when he replied, “Mary, you don’t have to be so quiet. I’m already awake.”
She giggled.
Was that silly? she wondered. Do outlaws giggle?
“I can’t sleep,” John added.
“Is it uncomfortable down there?”
She could hear him shifting and then saw he was sitting. “Well, it’s not the most comfortable place I’ve ever slept. But it ain’t the worst. It’s not that cave, that’s for darn sure.”
A moment passed before she said, “You know, this bed is plenty big enough. And…you need to get a good night of rest before we hit the trail tomorrow."
She waited for him to respond. When he didn’t, she filled the silence.
“We’re in a real building. Have a real bed. Would be a shame for you to let all that go to waste. You know?”
For a moment, Mary thought he wasn’t going to respond again. But then she felt the mattress sink down and realized he’d moved stealthily to the other side and got in bed.
Her heart rate increased.
John just needs a comfortable place to sleep. Now that he has a soft mattress below him, he’s going to drift off immediately. Calm down, Mary.
“We best get that shut-eye now,” he told her.
Though he didn’t sound very resolute in the suggestion.
“Yeah,” she agreed, her voice with an equal amount of skepticism. “We’re going to be so tired on the trail.”
“We get to sleep right now, and we can still have six or so hours of solid rest,” he noted.
“Good night,” she told him.
“Good night, Mary.”
There was something about hearing him say her name. It nearly pushed her over the cliff, forcing her to hop atop and straddle him. But she resisted. Though just barely.
Stop thinking like that! How unlady-like can you be? Women shouldn’t do stuff like that! You shouldn’t even dream about it.
She rolled over, facing the other way, and pinched her eyes shut tightly. Trying to empty her brain and will her body to relax, the minutes passed by slowly. Finally, she flipped around and whispered, “John.”
It was faint. If he’d already fallen asleep, she didn’t want to rouse him. But he said, “Yes, Mary?”
“I, uh…need to tell you something.”
A moment passed before he said, “You can tell me anything.”
He sounded hesitant, and she wondered if it was simply because he was tired or because he felt they were getting too close? Too intimate?
Or perhaps it was something colder and more mundane, like he wanted to keep this strictly professional.
Well, as professional as it could be with a Deputy U.S. Marshal sharing a bed with his prisoner.
Despite his cool reaction, she continued. “I, uh…I didn’t do all the things the stories say. I never—”
With that, she started sobbing, her body shaking as tears flowed. She was losing control, feeling a pull into the oblivion of despair and guilt. But before she fell over the brink, John’s powerful arms wrapped around her and reeled her in close. Before she even realized it, her cheek was resting on his bare, muscle-packed chest.
He kept her in a tight embrace.
“I know, Mary,” he whispered. “I know.”
She didn’t know how long she lay there crying, but it felt so good to have that release. After ten minutes or maybe half an hour—she had no clue which—she said, “My ma wasn’t around much. I guess she did the best she could. But…me and all my siblings had different dads. Some of her men died. Times were hard.”
“Sure,” he said, his voice full of empathy and encouraging her to go on.
“Some just left. Some were never really…there…to start with. Know what I mean?”
“I do.”
She sniffled. Gosh, it felt so good to be lying against him. His arms formed a protective cocoon, and she felt safer than she’d ever felt in her life. Even if Judge Parker hanged her, it would be worth it for this moment right here. She’d leave this world with a smile on her face, remembering the time she was held by John Hardin.
“Anyway, a handsome, sweet-talking man rode through one day. I was only eighteen or so.”
When she fell silent, John picked up the slack. “And he promised you a lot, huh?”
“The world,” she admitted. “Love. Money. Fancy dresses. A big house. I just didn’t know how he planned to fund all that.” She chuckled, though there wasn’t much humor behind it. “When I realized he was riding the outlaw trail, I told him love didn’t need any cash. We could settle down with nothing. Find a patch of land to work. Or get a job in a town. Anything to build a life together. But he wasn’t willing to give up his ways.” She paused for a moment, drew a deep breath, and exhaled sharply before saying, “He wasn’t willing to give me up, either. Even though I wanted to go. So he forced me along.” She laughed again. “And then the stories of the bandit queen started. The Choctaw Rose. She could rob and ride and shoot better than any man.”
She pushed up and turned so that she was looking at him. Thanks to a sliver of moonlight beaming in through the slit in the curtains, she had enough light to make out the details in his face from that close distance. “I just need you to know that…I’m not…John, I’m not a bad person.”
With that, she started sobbing again.
And John held her close once more.
“I know, Mary,” he whispered
What he said next took her breath away.
“Daddy knows.”