Chapter Thirty-Two Los Angeles
Piper knew he needed to make a move but could not fathom the potential outcomes. He just opened the door.
Noah crossed the kitchen.
He kept quiet. He didn’t reach for Piper right away. Piper didn’t back up.
Joan, this has to be the last fuck. Promise me this is the last fuck. Piper’s mind raced as he looked deeply into Noah’s eyes.
Noah put his hand on Piper’s cheek, his thumb pressing inside Piper’s mouth.
Piper sucked on Noah’s thumb.
They did not go upstairs right away.
Noah stepped back and looked at him, before walking past him into the living room. Piper followed.
“Play something,” Piper said with a smile.
“What.”
“Anything. We can’t have the house this fucking quiet.”
Noah picked up his phone.
He connected his Spotify to the sound system, and pressed play. Angel of Mine by Monica.
The first bar started low, and filled the room.
Noah looked at him across the room. Piper smiled back, and knew exactly what Noah was doing.
It was the first softness either of them had shown since he had walked in. Piper felt something in his chest loosen, and then tighten. “You like this song? It’s a classic,” Noah said.
“Yeah, of course I do.”
They stood there consumed by the opening bars of the song.
Then Noah nodded in the direction of the bedroom.
Piper’s bedroom was dark. He hadn’t turned the lights on when he came up after practice.
Neither of them turned them on now. The light from the hallway fell through the door in a soft band across the floor and Noah stopped at the foot of the bed and Piper stopped behind him, and for a second the only thing either of them did was breathe. Noah turned around.
“Say you want this.”
“I want this.”
“Say the rest.”
Piper closed his eyes briefly. “I want this, and I’m not going to have it after tonight.”
Noah nodded.
“Okay.”
He pulled his hoodie off over his head. Piper reached for him.
It went slow. Noah wouldn’t let it go fast.
Every time Piper tried to speed up, tried to make it the kind of sex that left no time for memories, Noah slowed him back down. A hand on his chest. A kiss at the corner of his jaw. A pause, deliberate, where Noah just looked at him. Piper recognized what he was doing and went with it.
Noah had come here to be in the room with him present, not to watch him dissociate while his body stayed.
Piper, against his own plan, stayed.
He stayed with the weight of Noah on top of him, and the song bleeding into the room.
Noah whispered in his ear.
“Piper.”
“What.” Piper smiled as Noah pressed his lips against Piper’s ears.
“I don’t want this to be over,” Noah whispered.
“I don’t either,” Piper whispered back into Noah’s ear.
Noah sat up. The blanket fell off his shoulder. Piper’s hands still on his face.
“I can’t FUCK,” Piper said into his palms.
Noah went quiet.
Piper had not known his hands were shaking. He laid them flat on his stomach to stop it. He looked away from Noah.
“My body is not…” He didn’t finish the sentence.
“Okay.”
“It’s not.”
“Okay.”
“It’s not dissociating.”
Piper closed his eyes. “This is embarrassing.”
“Take your time. I know this is new.”
“I hate this.”
“Just breathe, Piper.”
Noah waited. He sat on the edge of the bed with his knees up and one hand on Piper’s bicep and watched Piper’s stomach rise and fall, and he let Piper have a minute.
What Piper had wanted was for Noah to make it stop being embarrassing, and give him permission to disappear. Noah was not going to. He was going to help Piper breathe through it.
After a while Piper said, “Come here.”
“You sure?”
“Am I ever sure anymore?” He laughed as he nestled his head under Noah’s embrace. Piper whispered into his chest, “Hey, thanks for this, for getting me out of it, for coming here tonight.”
Noah kissed his neck and got back under the blanket with him. He waited until Piper’s breathing returned to normal.
“Okay, let’s try this again,” Piper said with a smile as he pulled Noah closer.
“You sure?” Noah said as he grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer.
He started to open Piper slowly, taking his time, watching him, reading his face. Noah waited when Piper needed him to wait, pushed when Piper needed him to push.
Piper’s cock came back to full hard against his stomach.
He felt every inch of Noah enter him with care.
Not just the movement, but he was fully aware of every inch of his cock.
They looked at each other the whole time Noah was finding the angle, adjusting, settling inside him, Piper’s hole stretching tight around Noah’s cock.
Noah was slowly thrusting as deep as he could go.
Noah was making him remember every feeling, every breath, every sound.
The song changed, Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus.
They fucked to the song, Noah’s forehead against Piper’s, Noah’s hips moving in a rhythm that made Piper completely weak. It was not fast sex. It was sex that knew it was a goodbye. The wet sound of Noah moving inside him was layering Miley’s vocals.
Piper didn’t close his eyes. Every feeling was different this time, more intense, more intoxicating.
Miley singing the soundtrack of their final moment together.
Piper came first, his face against Noah’s shoulder, his cock shooting a massive load as his hole clenched around Noah’s cock.
“Fuck, Piper, that load is huge, so hot,” Noah said as he pounded his load into Piper, pushing deep.
Noah’s hand cradling the back of Piper’s head, his mouth against Piper’s temple, not saying anything. Piper felt cum start to leak out of him around Noah’s cock onto the sheet but didn’t move to stop it.
“Don’t talk yet,” Noah said as they held each other.
Piper looked at the ceiling, focused on his breathing and taking the moment in. Noah held him tight, his lips kissing Piper’s chest, his arm draped across him.
Noah leaned in for a final kiss on Piper’s forehead and sat up on the edge of the bed. Piper watched him put his clothes back on and walk to the door.
Noah’s face was directed at the door.
“See you in Seattle for the finale. Good luck in Atlanta.”
He walked out and closed the door behind him. Piper heard the rental car start down the driveway.
Piper headed to the kitchen, still focusing on his breathing. He opened the wine fridge and found the perfect medicine for this kind of pain.
He sat down on the floor of the foyer with a bottle of 2018 Chateau Montelena Chardonnay, no glass, his back against the wall and cried until he was all cried out.