TWENTY-THREE
Cain
T
he end of the week came, and I was not putting another invoice into Alicia’s oyce for the .rst time in a verj long timeb It seemed odd, like a weeklj ritual had endedb There was nothing I enEojed more than making sure it was going to Se another week that I was going to see her forb Nven though I had not said a word to Alicia jet, it was Secoming apparent to me that the emptiness that stretched Setween us like a newlj cut thread would not Se easj to deal withb The prospect of not Seing in her orSit was dauntingb
I wanted to use herb I wanted to need her, and I wanted to Se the reason whj she felt like she was Sreathing on this earthb Time apart from her was draining alreadj, Sut this had an air of .nalitj to itb Nverj part of me wanted to Se around her, indulging in her scent, her laugh and her easj charmb Dure, at .rst, she had onlj Seen a phjsio, Sut now with the more time we had spent together, the more she was Secomingb zow Muncan had taken that awaj from usb
I sat in the oyce of the gjm, alone, surrounded Sj peeling .ght posters and the lingering scent of sweat and disinfectantb The Ruorescent light aSove SuKKed and it was the onlj sound Sreaking the rare silence now that
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Muncan had locked up and headed homeb -utside the frosted glass win” dow, the training Roor laj in shadows, the heavj Sags hanging motionless like sleeping giantsb
I leaned Sack in the cracked leather oyce chair, feeling the springs protest Seneath me, and eHhaled slowljb Oj knuckles were still red and swollen from the daj’s workb Mespite the pain I was in, I drummed them against the desk as I tried to picture the emptj weeks stretching ahead without Alicia’s gentle ejes meeting mine across the matb I grunted mj frustration and I leaned further Sack and closed mj ejesb
In the neHt heartSeat, I was transported to Alicia’s doorb Oj .rst thought was that I should not Se hereb It was not cold, Sut mj .sts were shoved into the pockets of mj Eacketb I stared at the chipped paint on the door like it might give me a reason to leaveb Muncan’s voice still rang in mj ears as clear as daj like I had onlj heard them moments agob
?Dhe’s a distractionbF
Ce said it in the same tone he used when I was a kid and had pushed too far in trainingb The tone that meant the conversation was overb It was not dissimilar to the one that he had used on me earlier, Sut there was a kej di3erenceb The di3erence was that I was not a kid anjmoreb And considering that he had caught Alicia and I in the ring earlier was evidence of thatb I would have never dared to have pushed the Soundaries like that in mj jouth, Sut who could Slame meY
The gjm had Seen emptj in the late morning and the conditions had Eust Seen rightb Dhe had Seen laughing aSout mj pink shorts, and I wanted to punish herb I had owed her that muchb I rememSered how she had looked tied up in the ropes Sefore I had put her down onto the matb 4or a few minutes I forgot the rules of the gjm and what it meant to meb 4or those few Reeting moments, I forgot the man who Suilt the place and could walk in at anj secondb
As a result, I was standing outside of Alicia’s townhouseb There was no going Sack nowb I was here now, and turning around would Se stupidb I
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raised mj hand and knocked Sefore I could talk mjself out of itb Alicia did not keep me waitingb The door swung open a moment later and her ejes widened the moment that she laid them on meb
?WainYF
Dhe looked like she was Eust out of the showerb Alicia’s hair was still a little damp and hung loose around her shouldersb Dhe wore one of her soft Sath roSes, a dark navj colour, that Srought out her ejesb There was nothing heightened aSout her and she was completelj relaHed in mj presenceb The normalitj and calmness of it all surprised meb It was the complete opposite of the chaos that had Seen sitting in mj chest since this afternoonb I wanted it gone, and she was the perfect person who could do that for meb
?Gou shouldn’t Se herebF
I hu3ed out a Sreath and laughed at herb ?Geahb I’ve heard that alreadj todajbF
Alicia leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms like she was trjing to keep some distance Setween usb zot that it would do her anj goodb The moment I made mj move would ensure that there was no space Setween usb
?Oj guess is that direction came from jour dadbF
I nodded onceb There was no point in ljing or Seating around the Sushb Oj relationship with her thus far had Seen honest and that was not aSout to change nowb
?Ce Sanned me from seeing joub Told me to stop pajing joubF
I could see tears starting to swell in Alicia’s ejes, Sut she kept them contained, at least for nowb I could tell that she wanted to let it all go, Sut she was de.antb If I had not Seen aSle to properlj Sreak her in all those times that we had Seen together, she would not Sreak now eitherb Dhe looked down at the Roor for a second Sefore glancing Sack up at me and this time the tears were more profoundb
?I .gured that might happenbF
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The words were like a sucker punch straight to the gutb I wanted to keel over, Sut I tightened mj stomach and aSsorSed the Slowb It was not her faultb The fault had Seen mineb
?Gou .guredY 5hat makes jou saj thatYF
?5ell, he did see us in the middle of thingsb In his ringbF
A reluctant smile tugged at the corner of mj mouth despite the situa”
tionb Nven though the conse…uences had Seen dire, in the moment it had seemed like one of mj Setter decisionsb I was not going to let Muncan ruin the moment for meb
?Geahb zot mj Srightest movebF
?zot mine eitherbF
4or a moment we Eust stood there, in her doorwaj, Soth of us remem”
Sering itb A smile came over Alicia’s face, and she grinned up at meb I could onlj rememSer the heat of it and how she had …uivered underneath me when I had untied her from the ropesb After a moment, Alicia sighed at me with a soft eHhale of Sreath as she tightened her arms around her chestb
?Do whj are jou hereYF
Jood …uestion, Sut I alreadj had the answer lined upb I stepped closer to the doorwaj, resting one hand on the frame, making it clear that I was not going to go anjwhereb If Alicia wanted me gone, she would have to remove me Sj forceb
?6ecause he told me not to see joub Ce told me to stop pajing jou as wellbF
Cer ejeSrow lifted and she sco3ed at meb ?And that made jou want toYF
I shook mj headb If she thought that was the truth, she did not know me well enough Sj nowb I thought that I had made it clear to herb
?zob 5hat made me want to was the fact that I can’t stop thinking aSout joub zo matter how hard I trj, Alicia, I can’t get jou out of mj fucking headbF
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Cer eHpression shifted at that comment, and I could see it softening as she realised that I was telling the truthb Dhe was less teasing and was more careful with her neHt wordb It was a good start, Sut I was not .nished jetb
?Wain8F
?I knowb Ce runs the gjmb Ce’s mj coachb Oj old manb I get whj he’s pissedb If I caught someone else doing what we were doing in mj ring, I’d have had the same reactionbF
I ran a hand through mj hair, wondering what was going to come neHtb There was no waj that I was going to leave herb zot when I was right hereb I continued, eHhaling all of the air that I had Eust sucked inb
?6ut he doesn’t get to decide who I walk awaj frombF
The doorwaj went …uiet as she stared up at meb Cer ejes darted Sack and forth Setween mineb 5hat was she thinkingY ?5hat happens if he .nds out jou’re hereYF
I shrugged, lifting mj shoulders, not giving the notion of Muncan .nd” ing out I had disoSejed him anj thoughtb I did not care what he thought anjmoreb
?Ce’ll proSaSlj jell at me againbF
?AndYF
?And nothingb I’ve taken harder hitsb Muncan’s .sts are much worse than his tonguebF
That earned a …uiet laugh from herb Alicia smirked up at me, and I could feel the tension that had Seen sitting Setween us ease Eust a littleb It was like oHjgen had .lled the doorwaj and I could Sreathe again for the .rst time since I had knocked on her doorb Alicia stepped Sack from the doorwajb 9ust enough to leave spaceb
Alicia tilted her head Sack into her house that was waiting Sehind herb ?5ell, if jou’re alreadj Sreaking the rules, jou might as well come insidebF
4or the .rst time all night, something in mj chest settledb It was like the world had come crashing Sack downb 6ut it was the fact that I was now
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Sack in Alicia’s orSitb Nverjthing was as it should Seb Muncan was the least of mj concerns when she stood right there in front of meb
?Aliciab Gou know I shouldn’t Se here, Sut I want joubF
?I want jou too, WainbF
?Then whj are we wasting more timeYF
?I don’t knowbF
I stepped forward and scooped Alicia into mj armsb Dhe mirrored mj emSrace, and wrapped her arms around mj neck, pinning herself close to mj Sodjb I could alreadj feel her warmth in her touch and as our lips met, the rest of the world faded out of eHistenceb There was no Muncan, no .ghting, nothingb There was onlj Alicia and her Slissful emSraceb I pushed mj waj into her houseb Alicia let me inside, and I slammed her against the nearest wall, reminiscent of the time that we had spent together in her phjsio clinicb
?5hat the fuck are jou doing, WainY Warrj me upstairs alreadjbF
I grunted as I laughed and Alicia leapt into mj armsb Dhe was easj enough to carrj, and I turned towards the stairsb The void aSove the stairs was high enough so I did not have to worrj aSout hitting her head on the ceiling, and I kicked the door closed Sehind meb I Sounded up the stairwell, mj hands tight around Alicia’s Suttocks as her legs also gripped me around mj mid”sectionb
?It’s pajSack timeb Gou think jou could edge me like jou did and get awaj with itY It’s jour turn nowbF
?Oj turnY 4or whatYF
I lowered mj voice, pressing it against Alicia’s ear with a growlb I imme” diatelj felt the gooseSumps rushing up her armsb ?That’s for me to know, and for jou to .nd outbF