TWENTY-FIVE
Alicia
S
ore did not begin to describe how I was feeling. Having had Cain for multiple days in a row was beginning to do things to my insides that I did not think was possible. Every time he came to see me, or I came to see him, we explored something diTerent. If it was not for work and the need to pay bills, I would have opted to have spent every moment of the day with him inside me.
-here was an intensity to Cain every time he saw me, which only inB creased the more that his knee had healed. His movements were beginning to be sharper, not only in the ring but also outside of it as well. I knew that he was getting close to being Mght ready. It was not far away, only a few weeks and his recovery was going well. Gased oT the program that I had in place with ’ichael FiTord, Cain was nearing a full recovery and was almost performing to his optimal levels.
I could attest to that, both in and out of the ring. Gut when I pulled into work on ’onday morning, I did not see CainAs name on my list of clients for the week. I frowned, staring at the desktop monitor like it had been some kind of mistake. Since Cain had been a regular thing, the invoices had been sent through on the Rriday so that I could make sure that my
HDKN O23COS ““?
regular arrangements were still in place. -here was one client before him in the morning, before I went out to Sewell and to the Hard Onocks gym.
-he nineBthirty slot was open and included the regular travel time. I scrolled across the calendar, and it was like that for the entirety of the week. ’y frown was still prevalent across my face. -here had to be some kind of mistake for it to be missing.
”-ammyYW
She called back, yelling out from the front desk. ”Pes, my fearless leaderYW ”Have you heard anything from CainYW
”Pou didnAt hear him whispering anything into your ear this morning
before he left your houseYW
I !ushed red. I still hated the fact that -ammy knew my deepest desires and wishes. ”I donAt know what youAre talking about.W
”2o, I havenAt heard from him. 4hyYW
”HeAs not in the calendar this week at all.W
”jerhaps heAs feeling better. ’aybe heAs not needing to see you.W
”Pet he didnAt say anything to me this morning, -ammy. NonAt you think thatAs a little bit oddYW
-ammy appeared at my door in a !ash, lowering her glasses to look at me. ”If youAre that worried, why donAt you go over there and Mnd out. IAm sure thereAs a reason for it. HeAs been good with his bills so far.W
”-hatAs what worries me.W
”-hen go over there and see him5 ’aybe have another sneaky session in the gym whilst youAre there5W
Fritting my teeth, knowing that -ammy could not know about our escapades in the ring, I knew that she was right. It was not like I had another clientele booked in during that time period. -ammy went back out to the front desk, and I heard her unlock the front door to the clinic, letting in the Mrst client. It was a new client, one that I had not seen before. Dnother shoulder and neck complaint. I ushered the middleBaged man into the rooms and went to work, my mind unable to remove its Mxation from Cain.
““U ’.D. NDKOE, ’D-- ’E’E’DK3
-he hour !ew by and my worry was only growing. I left the patient with -ammy to sort out his bill after the treatment, and I gathered my bag, already heading to the car. It had only been hours since I had last seen Cain, ;ust before the sun had come up, but now that I was hurtling towards him and had not heard from him, I was worried. I ripped into the Hard Onocks carpark and shut the ignition oT. 2othing seemed out of place, and everything seemed like it normally did.
-he door to the gym was open and it looked almost inviting. I walked inside right on time, and to my surprise, I saw Cain, alone on the front desk. He was head down in paperwork, a blue pen in hand as she scratched across the paper in front of him. Cain glanced up as I walked inside the gym and then sighed.
”4hat are you doing here, DliciaYW
”I came to see you. 4e have an appointment now and you havenAt paid your bills. I hope thatAs what that is there.W
Cain leaned back in the o…ce chair and grinned up at me, !icking the paper that he had ;ust been writing on. ”2o, I wish, ;ust student enrolment forms. IAll ask you again. 4hy are you hereYW
”3ur appointment.W
”4e donAt have one scheduled for today.W
4hy was he being so abruptY Even when Nuncan was around, Cain was polite and not this straightforward. -his felt like I was talking to a brick wall, one that was not going to give me a positive response like they often would have done. -his brick wall actually spoke back to me in the most monotone voice possible. 4hat had happenedY
”4hatAs wrongYW
Cain pursed his lips together and I saw his nostrils !are. It was clear that something was pulling at him internally. If he wanted to tell me he would. I saw CainAs throat tighten as he swallowed. Cain lowered his eyes to mine and then spoke. ”Nuncan has forbidden me from hiring you as my physio anymore. He also doesnAt want me to see you anymore.W
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”4hatY 4hyY 4e were so close to having you ready to go. ItAs only a few more weeks until your Mght, isnAt itYW
Cain bowed his head, like he had been defeated. I could sense that something was not right with him. ”He caught us fucking in the ring. Said that we disrespected it, which is fair enough. 4e did.W
”I thought you paid me. 4ho cares what Nuncan thinks.W
”I do, but the money still comes out of his book as well. I canAt keep seeing you Dlicia.W
I was dumbfounded. -he sex this morning had been no diTerent. 6p until he had left me, he was still very much the same passionate and powB erful Cain that he had been. 2othing had been diTerent7 it had only been what he had said to me ;ust now. 4here was this coming fromY I did not want to believe him, but the stern look in CainAs eyes told me that he was not lying.
”So, what, weAre doneYW
Cain nodded his head. He looked pale, like he was unable to speak. ”Peah. HeAll pull me from the Mght if I keep seeing you. Pou shouldnAt be here, Dlicia.W
”-his is a ;oke, isnAt itY I didnAt think you did Dpril RoolAs.W
Cain shook his head. ”4hy would I lie to youYW
I ;ust stared at Cain for a moment, still unable to believe what I was hearing. -ime slowed down as it was like I was falling back towards earth after a fall from space. 4hat he was saying was starting to sink into my brain. -his was real, and he had made up his mind. -he missing invoice payment was not ;ust missing7 it was never going to be coming to hit my bank account. Dnd I was never going to feel Cain inside me again. ’y world stopped spinning as I stared at him in disbelief.
”Iz Iz donAt know.W
I had no answers, and no uestions formulated in my mind. ’y little routine, the one that I had crafted, was torn away without my consent. I had been making plans, thinking about what a future could hold between
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the two of us. 4hilst it was still early days, this breakup had come out of nowhere. Dnd worseY It was not even my fault. Cain had been the one that had tied me up in the ring and fucked me. I had gone along with it of course, but how could I not. -he pure rush of adrenaline of one moment getting smacked in the pads by Cain to him, forcing himself between my legs as I tried to escape the ropes had been euphoric. I wanted to experience that again, but that chance was slipping away from me.
”I didnAt want to do this, Dlicia.W
”Pou didnAt want to do thisY Cain, youAre a grown man5 -ell Nuncan to fuck oT5 4hy is he coming between us like thisYW
Cain swallowed again and puTed out his lips. ”NuncanAs right. Pou and I disrespected the ring. Dnd as IAm sure you know, business and pleasure when mixed together becomes messy. 4e blurred the lines, Dlicia.W
I grit my teeth, trying not to grind them with visible frustration. Cain had proven that he was diTerent. -here had been a very good reason as to why I never fucked or dated clients, and here he was, even though he had been so diTerent, Cain had ;ust proved that he was no diTerent than any other man out there. Had he even fought for me, or was he ;ust a pushoverY I had gotten in too far without taking the proper precautions. I should not have been this upset but I was.
-here was a waterfall waiting ;ust behind my eyes, as I felt my chest grow heavy. It felt like every heartbeat was the weight of two. He had explained himself, and it was clear to me that Cain was not going to change his mind. Cain stood up from behind his desk, revealing himself to be dressed in a matching black pair of shorts as well as his normal black singlet. It extenuated his lean, muscular body and if it was not for the situation, I would have pushed him against the desk and fucked him. 4hy did he have to look so fucking good. I could have stayed here and ogled him all day, but he had made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me. Cain brought me back to reality with his next sentence.
”If Nuncan Mnds you here, heAll take my head oT.W
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I nodded my understanding at him and remained silent. -here was so much that I wanted to say, and as my heartbeat heavier I could feel anger building deep within my chest. Cain gestured towards the door. I could tell he was trying to be more gentle than usual, and there was obviously a reason why he had not told me this morning, or over the weekend at all. jerhaps Nuncan had only told him to do it this morningY
’y bag felt like it weighed a ton as I opened the door again to Hard Onocks for what would be the Mnal time. -he carpark gestured to me, and it felt emptier than ever, itAs concrete skin re!ecting the sunlight back into the sky, creating a blinding glare that my teary eyes could not cope with. I slid my sunglasses from the top of my head and started towards the car, without even looking back at the gym.
I threw my bag into the car with all of the controlled aggression of a shotput thrower. ’y bag !ipped over and its contents spilled from the half open ipper that was at the top. 4ith more frustration building, I slammed the car door shut and stormed around to the driverAs side. 3nce inside I threw myself forward, as I slammed the door shut behind me. -he only thing I was careful of avoiding was the steering wheel and the horn. I threw my head back, all of the frustration tearing from my throat.
”Ruck5W
Onowing that there was nothing left for me here, I fumbled with my keys, trying to put them in the ignition. It took three attempts before I had Mnally managed to get them the right way and turned the car on. I took a moment to wipe my tear Mlled eyes. Even though my chest felt like a hole had been punched in it, I did not want to cause a pileup on the highway. Ds I tore away from Hard Onocks, there was a singular thought that reverberated throughout my head.
Ruck you, Cain 4eaver. 4hat a waste of time5