Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
S he smelled like sunshine. Like her mother, Alicia.
Vivian’s breath caught, and she struggled to breathe because the young woman in front of her was so perfect, it hurt. Her daughter stood a few inches away, wide eyes so blue and familiar that it took everything she had not to burst into tears and scare the teenager away.
She was tall and slender, dressed in a pair of baggy jeans, white running shoes, and a black T-shirt. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail that swished when she walked. The girl gave a small wave and tilted her head to the left, offering a hesitant smile as she did so.
“Hey,” she said quietly, with a soft Southern roll. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Vivian exhaled. Okay. This was going to be okay. Her daughter had no hate or anger that she could see. Vivian motioned toward the picnic table, then followed Summer over and sat across from her, throat tight as her mind searched for the right words.
“You’re so pretty,” Summer said shyly, looking up from underneath thick lashes.
“I…” At a loss, Vivian could do nothing but stare at her daughter. “Thank you,” she eventually replied. “You’re beautiful.”
The teenager blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, the motion so like herself it brought tears to Vivian’s eyes. Quickly, she forced them away and tried her best to be strong. To be normal.
Like meeting the child you gave up for adoption fifteen years ago is a normal, everyday thing.
“This is kind of weird, right?” Summer asked, cheeks pink as she played with the edge of her T-shirt.
“Yes, it’s almost indescribable.” Vivian waited a few moments. “I’m glad you agreed to meet, and I’m real sorry I kind of blew you off three years ago.”
Summer shrugged. “It’s okay. Not everyone wants to face the past, you know? And I respect that. I mean, it must be just as hard for you.” She shrugged. “Maybe harder. But I’m glad you’re here now.”
That ball of anxiety was making Vivian uncomfortable, and she shifted a bit, knowing the easy part was done. “You must have a lot of questions.”
Summer nodded.
“The least I can do is answer anything as truthfully as I can, so fire away.”
Summer sat straighter and chewed on her bottom lip, then met Vivian’s gaze with the kind of directness not seen in most girls her age. “Were you scared?”
The question surprised Vivian. She thought she’d have to explain the why of it first. “I was terrified.” She paused, knowing she had to face everything. “I considered termination, but I guess I was more scared of that than having a baby. Other than an initial call to a clinic, it wasn’t something I ever thought about again.”
“Did you want to keep me?” Summer’s expression was veiled, and, mouth dry, Vivian shook her head.
“In a perfect world, yes. But I knew I couldn’t raise a baby. I could barely take care of myself, and I felt like I had no one to lean on.”
“Your parents wouldn’t have been there for you?” She saw the question in Summer’s eyes.
“My mom died when I was young, and my dad, he…” Vivian sighed and glanced away. She’d been thinking about her dad a lot lately. The dark and toxic anger she felt was still there, but it was lessened. Diminished a bit.
“My father had his own demons to deal with.”
“And my dad?”
Goose bumps rose across her arms. Vivian shivered. Would her daughter hate her for this?
“He didn’t know,” she said quietly. “I never told him. We were young and volatile, and everything seemed so big and overwhelming. My feelings. The world. The way we were with each other. I thought we were broken up. I didn’t give him a chance to react or to help, and my father was awful about the whole thing. I was scared. Instead of dealing with it, I ran away.” She tried her best to keep the pain from her voice, but she wasn’t successful, and, embarrassed, she lowered her eyes.
Summer reached across the table and grabbed her hands. “I’m so sorry that you felt so alone.”
The tears that had been threatening since she’d arrived began to fall, and Vivian’s lips trembled as she looked across the table at her daughter.
“I’ve thought about this a million times,” she said softly. “And in every scenario I dreamed up, not once was I sitting at a table being consoled by the girl I gave away.”
“But you didn’t… That sounds so cold.” Summer’s voice broke, and she sighed heavily. “I don’t look at it like that. Like you giving me away. That sounds so random, you know? Mom and Dad never kept things from me. I always knew I was adopted, the same as I knew I was loved. My parents are amazing. The best. So, I never felt like I missed out on anything. I don’t have this big hole inside me I’m looking to fill. That’s not why I wanted to meet you. I guess I was just curious about you. About where I came from. About why and how and who you are as a person. Like, what do I have that came from you?”
How could this magical, mature, beautiful, kind soul have come from me?
“You remind me of my mother,” Vivian said slowly. “You have her nose and chin. And when you pick at your hair and tuck it behind your ear, that’s me.” Vivian chuckled. “That’s all me.” Her laughter faded. “When you tilt your head that certain way, that’s my mom. She was bright and beautiful, and she loved to sing and play guitar.” Vivian swiped at the tears on her face. “She would have loved you so much. If she hadn’t died, I would have kept you.” She glanced away, her heart full of sorrow for all the things lost. “Now I’m blubbering like an idiot.”
“I like to sing,” Summer said after a few moments. “And I love horses and dancing in the rain. I like sitting on the porch when it’s thundering and lightning, and I love to read.”
Vivian smiled through her tears. “I grew up on a ranch in Montana, so the horse thing, I get. But this is really going to blow your mind.”
Summer leaned forward, her skin bright with the flush of youth, her eyes wide and open. “What?”
“My brother is Cal Bridgestone. He’s your uncle.”
She saw the moment the realization hit. Summer’s mouth opened into a big O.
“ Cal Bridgestone who sings Boots and Hearts and Lonely on You ?”
Vivian nodded. “Biologically, you’re a Bridgestone and…”
Summer’s eyebrow rose, the movement so like Dallas that Vivian had to look away. She’d kept him from this exquisite creature. How would he react when he finally met her?
“And?” Summer prodded.
“Henhawk. Dallas Henhawk is your father.”
“That’s a cool name. Do I look like him too?”
“Yes.” Vivian smiled. “You have his eyes.”
“I know you were young, but was he a good guy?”
Vivian nodded.
Summer cracked a smile. “Was he hot?”
Vivian winked. “He was the most intense, insanely handsome man I knew.” Her laughter trickled away. “He still is.”
“Is he in Montana?”
“He never left. He has a beautiful place at the foot of Yellowstone, near my family ranch.”
Summer sat back, her expression thoughtful. “Are you two, like, do you still talk to each other?”
“We’ve recently reconnected.”
“That’s good, right?”
“I hope so.” Vivian licked her dry lips, suddenly shy. She did what she always did: she deflected. “Can you tell me about you now?”
Summer giggled, the sound like all the good in the world bottled up into one thing.
For the next hour or so, Summer told Vivian about her life in Belle Adair. According to her, it was the best place to live. Like ever.
She had two best friends, Jenna and Emily, and they’d hung out with a larger group of kids for most of their lives. She liked to knit, was addicted to the Housewives franchise, and watched every kind of true crime show there was. Her favorite podcast was about people who disappeared, and she liked to make TikToks with her friends and their dogs.
She loved the color was green; she hated carrots, but loved brussels sprouts and apple pie. Her favorite band was Canadian, The Tragically Hip, and she was a proud Swiftie. She loved chocolate ice cream, but it was better when it had chunks of peanut butter in it. The family dog, Arthur, slept in her room, and she broke her arm when she was nine because she fell off the roof.
“You fell off the roof?” Vivian interrupted.
“Yes.” Summer nodded with a giggle. “Brandon Billings dared me to spend the night up there. Said I was a fraidy cat, and I wanted to prove him wrong because he’s literally the dumbest boy I know.” She laughed. “Though I guess I’m dumber because I actually did it. Anyway, I climbed up there when everyone was asleep, and I made it through the entire night. It was boring and kind of cold, but I sang songs and listened to music. In the morning, the tiles were slick with dew, and as I was climbing down, I slipped and fell and broke my arm in two places. “
“Wow.” It was something Vivian would have done.
“Right? God, Mom was so mad, she grounded me for like a month.”
Her dreams were big, her energy sparkling, and as Vivian watched her talk, she couldn’t help but think, I made her. Dallas and I made her.
“So where do you live and what do you do now?”
Startled, Vivian glanced up. “Oh, we’re talking about me now. Well, okay, I live in Alaska, though I’ve been in Montana for over a month now. I write a column and host a podcast.”
“You’re kidding.” Summer was clearly impressed. “I want to be a writer when I grow up. Like, books and stuff? I love science fiction and fantasy, and I have so many ideas in my journals. Like a lot. I have this one idea about the end of the world and, like, this magical girl who’s being hunted and…” Summer tilted her head again and Vivian smiled. “What?”
She couldn’t help herself. She reached forward and took Summer’s hands. “You’re incredible. Everything I would have wanted in a daughter, and I know your mom and dad are responsible for it. For giving you a life I couldn’t. I’m so grateful to them, but I’m also sad that I wasn’t there to see you grow into this amazing young woman you’ve become. Because I think it would have been something to see.”
Summer’s eyes shone. They shimmered to a shade of blue that was so dark, they appeared black.
“But this is only the beginning, isn’t it? Like, we’ll see each other again, won’t we?”
“I hope so.” Vivian was honest. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead. No one knows you exist except for Dal and my friend Jake. There’s so much I need to deal with at home.” She frowned. “But I don’t want you to have to worry about any of that. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Is he back there right now?”
“Who?”
“Dallas?”
Vivian took a bit to answer. “Actually, he’s here in Belle Adair.”
“He is?” Summer didn’t try to hide her surprise. Or maybe shock.
“He showed up this afternoon, and he drove me here.”
Summer’s gaze moved behind Vivian, and then she glanced around. “He’s in the park?”
Vivian nodded. “He wanted to be here for me. He wants to meet to meet you.”
“Oh.” Summer was back to playing with the edge of her T-shirt. “I never thought about that. I mean, I mentally prepared myself for you, but…”
“It’s a lot. Both of us at once. You don’t have to unless you’re ready.”
“I’m ready.” Summer leaned forward and nodded. “So ready.”
“Okay.” Vivian got to her feet and took a step back. Part of her wanted to hug her daughter. But part of her felt as if she didn’t have the right. As if she needed to ask Alicia for permission.
But once again, Summer surprised her and jumped to her feet. Before Vivian could move, she was enveloped in a big, warm, hug that smelled like sunshine and felt like heaven.
The two of them clung to each other for a long time. After a while, she pulled back, touching her daughter’s face with light fingers.
“I’ll be back,” she whispered.
Vivian turned and headed to the parking area, where she spied Dallas leaning against her rental. His profile was strong, and as always, her heart melted at the sight of him. On what planet had she thought she could survive life without him?
He turned just then, and her breath caught as he pushed off from the car and walked over to her.
“You okay?” His voice rumbled in his chest, and she nodded. His eyes were searching, concerned, and she did her best to smile and reassure him. Once she knew she could speak, Vivian reached for his hand.
“Do you want to meet our daughter?”
He nodded slowly, his eyes a deeper blue lit by the lamplight a few feet from them. “Yes,” he said simply. “Let’s go.”
Vivian felt as if the weight of one thousand worlds were lifted from her shoulders. Her knees nearly buckled, and if not for Dallas at her side, she probably would have been a puddle of flesh and bone at his feet.
But he was there.
She wasn’t alone anymore.
And maybe she could finally forgive herself.