Chapter 23 Liam
LIAM
Sliding the brush over the horse, I tried to forget everything else in my life and focus on this one thing I could do.
With my arm and side all fucked up, there wasn’t much I could do to help around the ranch, but brushing Clover was one thing I could still manage.
“Incoming,” Jeff said as he walked past with a flake of hay, stuffing it in the slow feeder.
Glancing over my shoulder, I hoped I had enough time to leave before she saw me, but she already had her eyes locked on mine. There was no escaping her now.
“Don’t be a dick,” Jeff muttered as he walked past. “Hey! It’s BB! How’s it going?”
“Good. I haven’t stabbed anyone today.”
“Always a good thing. Not that I have to worry. I’m your favorite person in the world.”
“Really? How do you figure?”
“Well, I can get you anything you want,” my brother grinned. “Horseback rides? I’ve got the best horses. Homemade fried chicken? Ma makes the best.”
Her smile lit up her face as she talked to him about the most mundane things. I hated that she was smiling for him, that when she came over here, I would have to be a shit to her, and that smile I loved so much would be wiped from her face.
“Fried chicken does sound good, but there’s no way I’m asking your momma to make you some after she’s been busy all day.”
“She loves me,” he said, almost affronted. “She would do anything I asked because I’m her favorite.”
“Yes, but she shouldn’t have to. Don’t be an ass.”
He snorted, leaning against the barn wall. “I have never been called an ass by a woman in my life. Lovable, kind, sweet…all the things the ladies love.”
His grin widened, which only pissed me off. It was like he was flirting with her.
“Trust me, Jeff. I’ve heard other terminology linked to your name, and it wasn’t all flattering.”
“What?” He jolted upright, almost panicked by her comment. “I’m always a gentleman. It wasn’t about my manhood, right? Because I never lie about my size. I’ll pull it out right now and prove it.”
“No need,” she chuckled. “I don’t care how big it is.”
“Maybe not, but you could tell everyone else. I can’t have the whole town thinking I’m using a rowboat oar.”
“Aren’t those long?”
“Yes, but they’re also skinny, and let me tell you—”
I blocked out the sound of his voice, stomping away as it clouded my thoughts. This was what I was going to have to deal with. Men telling Bailey about their girth or trying to tempt her into bed.
There wasn’t a single thing I could do about it. Not while Austin was out there threatening her life.
Not when I had everything to lose by throwing caution to the wind.
“Liam?”
The roaring in my ears dropped in a single second at the sound of her sweet voice. The anger welling in my chest became nothing more than a slow, steady thump as her voice soothed everything inside me.
I couldn’t do this.
Turning on my heel, all it took was one look at her sweet face to remember why I had to break her heart. I couldn’t stand it if Austin broke her spirit, or if he found some other way to take the precious life in front of me.
“Hey,” I answered, willing my body not to move toward her, to sweep her up into my arms and kiss her the way I wanted to.
“I tried calling earlier, but—”
“I was busy.”
She nodded, glancing around the barn so she didn’t have to look at me. It was like she already knew what was coming, and why wouldn’t she? Bailey was smart. She’d always been able to read my moods, to know when I needed space and when I needed her.
Right now, I desperately needed her.
But I stood in front of her with a blank look on my face, pulling from the ugliest part of my mind to make sure I didn’t voice my needs to her.
“Well, I was just coming to check on you. After everything that happened—”
“I’m fine,” I cut her off.
Look at me. Just turn your head and let me see those beautiful eyes.
As if she could read my thoughts, her eyes found mine again, but this time, there was steely determination shining in them.
I’d never been so proud of her in all my life, and devastated at the same time.
“Look, about what happened, I’m sorry for all of it.”
“Which part?” I snapped, putting as much bite into my words as possible.
Her lips parted for just a moment before she pressed them tightly together.
“Maybe now isn’t a good time.”
“Now is the only time I’ve got,” she said, refusing to back down. “I’m not sure if you’re mad about the whole knife thing or me coming to the hospital—”
“Christ, do you ever stop?” I snapped, putting everything into this performance that I could, though it broke my heart.
Stunned by my outburst, she took a step back.
“You just keep pushing. You always think you know best, but did you ever consider that if I wanted something, I would ask for it?”
“I was just trying to help,” she argued.
“And I didn’t ask for it. I ended up in the hospital twice because of you. Is that not enough? Can I have some fucking space without you rushing in to save the day?”
My heart hammered in my chest as I spewed the nasty words at her. Vomit threatened to rise in my throat, but I fought the desire to tell her just how vile the words were.
Her life depended on it.
As I seethed at the words that left my mouth, she straightened her shoulders, refusing to be sunk by my anger. It was what I loved about her so much—that she had the ability to see through my bullshit.
But her life depended on her believing me.
“And what would you like me to do? Should I walk away and leave you? Is that what you’re hoping for with this little performance?”
I barked out a laugh, wishing she would believe it was a performance somewhere deep inside. Even after I pushed her away, even after I broke her heart, I prayed she knew the truth deep in her gut.
“I don’t know, Bailey,” I shook my head, staring at the ground.
Fuck, my heart squeezed painfully as I bit out the horrible words.
“You made this all up in your head. It was a fucking dance,” I spat. “One fucking dance, and suddenly, you and every other person in town turned it into a marriage proposal.”
I took a step forward, trying not to stagger as I walked.
“I never said it would be more. I never once promised you anything, but somehow, you got it in your mind that what we had was more than fucking.”
She flinched, just like I knew she would, but to her credit, there wasn’t a tear in her eyes.
“You’re right. You never said it was more than that. I just never took you for a coward.”
“How’s that?”
“How’s what? How are you a coward?” she spat.
“You’re scared, and you’re running away.
I don’t know why, but this is all an act.
Do you think I really don’t know you?” she yelled.
“Do you think I’m so fucking stupid that I would make up a fairytale in my head about us and talk myself into believing it was all real? ”
“Apparently, that’s exactly what you did.”
And I loved her for it.
“Whatever has you running, you need to stop and think about whether or not this is really what you want, because when I walk away, it’ll be for good. There’s no turning back.”
She sucked in a ragged breath that I knew she didn’t want me to see. But she stood tall, refusing to back down as I stared at her with annoyance.
“Are those threats supposed to scare me?” I hissed.
They fucking petrified me. She would never forgive me. I could still salvage this. I could tell her everything and keep her, even if only at a distance.
But as I studied her beautiful face and watched as the breeze blew strands of her blonde hair over her shoulder and into her eyes, I knew it wasn’t an option.
Because that beautiful face slowly rotted in front of me. It decayed as death took over and claimed her life.
If I gave in now, I was signing her death sentence.
A barely audible hitch in her breath was the only sign that she was affected by my words. But it was there. She did love me. She was pleading me with her eyes not to do this.
“I guess there’s nothing left to say.”
My eyes dropped to the ground, unable to hold her gaze any longer. “There was nothing to say from the moment you walked through the doors.”
I didn’t look up—couldn’t. If I did, I might break. The slight shuffle of her feet scraping against the floor was the only warning I had that she was leaving.
My ears bled with every step that moved further away until finally, I was alone.
I let out a ragged breath and bent over, hurling into the hay at my feet. A rough hand landed on my back, but if it was meant to be soothing, Jeff failed miserably.
“It’s over. She’s gone.”
I nodded, wiping the bile from my lips as I straightened, refusing to feel the pain my body that vomiting had inflicted. I deserved it.
“That was brutal to watch.”
“But she bought it,” I said, hoping he heard the defeat in her voice as well.
“Yeah, she bought it. I’d say you did what you set out to do. And then some. Not sure there’s ever any coming back from that.”
As much as I wanted to run after her, I knew this was for the best. She was safe, and if that was the only thing I achieved by ending things with her, then I would be able to trudge through life knowing at least she didn’t die because of me.
“You look like you could use a whiskey.”
“Maybe five,” I muttered. “Can’t work anyway.”
“Then we’re in agreement. After a performance like that, there’s only one place to go.”
I should have told him no. The possibility of running into her was strong at The Beaver and Boot, but I couldn’t deny myself this one simple pleasure.
Seeing her alive was the only thing that would keep me going.
I tried. I really fucking tried to just walk away and pretend everything was fine, but every time I thought of her, my chest tightened to the point of pain. There was no way I could go on like this, and the temptation was too strong to chase after her and tell her everything.
But that would only keep that target on her back that I was trying so desperately to get rid of.
I knew as long as temptation lingered, there was a chance I would fuck it all up. But there was a way to ensure that she never wanted to see me again.
A way to make sure that not even if I begged would she come back to me.
I hated to even think of it. The thought of putting my lips on anyone else made me want to vomit, but if it kept her alive, I would kiss a million women.
And there was only one woman I could turn to for help.
I’d known Ellie May all my life. I knew what folks around town said about her, but they were all fucking wrong. Ellie May was the sweetest woman—next to Bailey.
It all started when we were in high school at a party, and someone slipped something in my drink.
I’d been drunk out of my mind, but whatever this chick added had me spinning hard.
Ellie May had been there for me, guiding me out of the party and to her house where she watched over me to make sure I was okay.
I never knew for sure, but I suspected Kayla Martin was behind it all. She’d always watched me in this way that gave me the creeps, and I had no doubt that someday she’d try something on me.
I was pretty sure that that night, Ellie May had kept me from ending up at the ass end of an unwanted pregnancy. And since that night, I vowed I would always be there for Ellie May if she ever needed anything.
It was a sort of unspoken agreement between us that if either of us needed anything, the other would be there. She’d never needed me, but right now, I was desperate for her help.
When I walked into her shop, she was just finishing up with a customer. But as soon as she was free, the look on Ellie’s face said she already knew what I was going to ask.
“Why are you here, Liam?”
“I need your help.” My voice was nothing but gravel as I forced the words through my lips.
Sighing, she looked down at her counter, and I could see the torture on her face. I’d known for a while that Ellie May had liked me, but she knew where my feelings were.
Firmly with Bailey. They always would be.
“Liam—”
“She’s in danger,” I croaked out. “I don’t know how else to save her. Every second she’s with me, Austin is watching. I know it.”
“I know what you’re asking, but Liam…”
Scoffing, she shook her head at me.
“I know this is wrong to ask of you, Ellie. I know I shouldn’t be here, but you’re the only one I can trust. Please,” I begged.
“You know how I feel about you.” Her voice was nothing more than a whisper as she looked up at her, her eyes filled with tears.
“I know.”
“And you’re still here.”
Spinning away from me, she busied herself behind the register, organizing anything she could get her hands on so she didn’t have to talk to me.
“Ellie—”
“Liam, don’t.”
Racing around the counter, I grabbed her arm and pulled her close to me. The panic was crawling under every inch of my skin, threatening to tear me apart.
“Please, Ellie. I know I have no right to ask this, but please. If anything happens to her…”
Tears filled my eyes at the thought of losing her in some horrible accident or by Austin attacking her. It would kill me.
Crossing her arms over her chest protectively, she nodded. “Alright.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll help you.”
Relief flooded me as her words struck. She was going to do it. She’d help me save Bailey.
“Liam, when this is over…I need you to leave me alone. Don’t call me. Don’t look at me when you see me in town. Just…”
The hurt in her eyes was apparent, and for just a moment, I felt like a complete asshole for asking something so huge of her. But this was about Bailey, and I had to put her first, even if it meant ruining my friendship with Ellie.
“Yeah, I get it.”
“Tonight. She should be at the bar. I heard Cheyenne talking about going out tonight.”
“Thanks, Ellie.”
She nodded, but the look on her face said she was anything but happy to help me out. Still, this woman was helping me in a way I knew I could never repay.
But I’d find a way someday.
I knew what this would cost her, and I never let a debt go unpaid.