Chapter 37 Liam
LIAM
“Sliding the saddle on Phoenix, I ran my hand soothingly over her hind quarters. “Hey, girl,” I cooed as she whinnied.
“I know, I haven’t been here in a while. Sorry about that.”
She nickered at my words, as if she was telling me my excuses weren’t welcome. I couldn’t blame her. When we started reorganizing the farm, my time in the saddle was reduced by half. Her time running wild around the ranch had pretty much ended when the last of the cattle were sold.
“How about we go for a ride?”
I was greeted this time with a cheerful whinny that put a smile on my face for the first time in six weeks.
As I tightened the billet strap around her belly, she shifted excitedly, ready to get out and stretch her legs like we used to. Guilt over letting something so simple fall by the wayside threatened to crush me.
There was so much that I had let slip through the cracks while trying to hold the ranch together.
“Going for a ride?”
I stiffened at Michael’s words momentarily, then continued getting ready for my ride. “Yep.”
“Mind if I join you?”
I did. The last thing I wanted was company, let alone his. “Actually, I’m heading out to check on the progress of the new cabin.”
“Perfect. It’s been a while since I’ve ridden out to the falls.”
Grinding my teeth, I quickly finished saddling Phoenix, then slung myself up on her back and nudged her forward just as Michael was bringing Maisey out of the stall.
“So, not waiting for me, then?”
Ignoring him, I clucked my tongue at Phoenix, cueing her forward. We were out of the barn and into the cool morning air in seconds. Once we found our rhythm, we took off, racing across the open field that our cattle used to roam.
The vast emptiness felt like a crater in my chest, but I ignored it, choosing instead to focus on the ride with my favorite girl.
It had been way too damn long since the wind blew in my face, bringing with it the peace of living out here under the big Montana sky with the mountains hovering in the distance like a perfectly painted landscape portrait.
But that peace was soon squashed when Michael galloped up beside me, tugging on the reins like a newbie.
I smirked as Maisey twisted, trotting in a circle as he tried to get her under control. It might have been a few months for me, but Michael had been gone for years, and it showed.
“Are you gonna run away every time I try to talk to you?” he shouted, trotting up beside me.
“Just trying to get some work done.”
“I just want to talk.”
“Not interested,” I called out, then sent Phoenix racing the rest of the way to the falls. Wind whipped past me, the cool air burning my cheeks, but I had never felt more alive in all my life.
But I knew I couldn’t outrun my brother forever. No matter how fast I ran, he would be there, waiting until I was ready to talk.
For six weeks, he’d left me alone to lick my wounds, but the time for self-reflection was over. He was back, and he made it clear, he wasn’t going anywhere.
Tugging on the reins, Phoenix slowed to a trot, twisting in a circle as we approached the river.
Swinging my leg over, I got down from Phoenix with as much grace as I could muster after being out of the saddle for so long.
As I glanced at my brother out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ride had been much more painful for him than it had for me.
“Come on, girl,” I whispered, guiding her over to a tree.
Wrapping the reins around a branch, I left her to graze while I headed for the bridge leading to the other side of the river where construction was underway on the new cabin.
“You can’t just keep walking away, Liam!”
“Why not? You did a hell of a job at it.”
“Hey!” he shouted, grabbing me by the arm and twisting me around. “Stop fucking walking away!”
Anger surged through me and I slammed my hands into his chest, shoving him back a step. “Don’t you dare fucking talk to me about walking away.”
“I had to go!”
“No, you chose to leave us all behind. You left me behind!” I snapped.
“Is that what you think I did?”
Shaking my head, I stared off in the distance. “The ranch was struggling, and you just fucking left. Everything fell on me. Pop was hanging onto the past and Jeff was lost in his own head. And you—”
Scoffing, I still remembered that day he walked out.
“I had to leave,” he argued. “Do you have any fucking clue what it was like for me? To walk around town with everyone gossiping about me? Calling me a rapist?”
“They all knew you weren’t.”
“It didn’t fucking matter!” he shouted, losing control.
Spinning away from me, he speared his fingers through his hair in anger.
“I was dishonorably discharged, Liam. Everything I had worked for went up in smoke just like that,” he said, snapping his fingers. “It didn’t matter if I was innocent or not. Every fucking time I went into town, the whispers started again. You know how it is!”
I did. And despite wanting to believe that he could have roughed it out, the fact was that as long as he stayed, the rumors would have persisted. Deep down, I knew that.
Finally, I relented. “I know.”
“I didn’t want to leave,” he sighed. “I just couldn’t stand the whispers anymore. I just wanted to figure out a way forward, but that wasn’t about to happen here. Yeah, I fucking left, and I was miserable.”
I had purposely avoided talking to him for the last six weeks, so I really had no clue why he was back. Sure, I’d heard snippets of conversations, but I hadn’t really listened.
The only way I was ever going to know what really happened was if I finally stopped being so damn stubborn and let him in. And that was really fucking hard when I had just spent the last several years waging a war with Pop.
“So, Blake, huh?”
Grinning, he huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, Blake.”
“I’m assuming she has something to do with this miraculous return.”
“Well, you would know if you ever fucking listened.”
“Yeah. Well, I’m listening now.”
Michael stared out at the river, his eyes drifting with his thoughts as he told me about meeting Blake. How she threw him out a window, and that was the beginning of the end of his estrangement.
“What kind of virus?”
“Nasty,” he answered, his eyes meeting mine with horror. “End of the world, shit.”
“And you stopped it,” I beamed with pride.
“Well, I had a hand in it, but I didn’t do it alone. There were some good men and women we worked with.”
“So, how does all this lead to you coming home?”
Rubbing his hand along the back of his neck, he huffed out a laugh. “The guy I was working for…he got the president to look at my case.”
I couldn’t have heard him right. “The president? As in…”
He nodded, his eyes wide as if he still couldn’t believe it. “It’s the only way to have a dishonorable discharge overturned. Because of what Blake and I did, he agreed to look at my case again. That, coupled with evidence I was able to gather thanks to a very dark and mysterious friend—”
“The same one who brought you in in the first place?”
“Exactly. The president agreed that I was set up. He reversed the DD. My record was expunged and I can now say I retired from the military.”
“So, it’s over,” I said, still in awe of everything my brother had accomplished.
I was out here, struggling to keep the ranch afloat while he was out saving the world. He could have died for it, but his sense of duty was so strong that he never would have failed or backed down. It just wasn’t in him.
And that was something I had always admired about him.
“I’m sure there’ll still be a few assholes around town who want to spread gossip, but…I’m done running. I’m not leaving again, Liam.”
The earnestness in his voice hit me hard and deep. I couldn’t stay mad at my brother, not when he had been battling his own demons.
“Well, I’m glad you’re home. Seriously, the place wasn’t the same without you.”
“But I left you in a mess,” he acknowledged. “I had no idea the ranch was doing so badly.”
“A lot of them are. We’re not the only ranch to fall. But we pivoted in time. As long as we can keep sales up, we won’t lose the land.”
He nodded to the cabin across the river. “And that?”
“A necessary expense. Or, it would be, but Pop told me not too long ago that he wants the cabin for someone in particular.”
“A long-term rental?”
“I would assume so, and I would also assume that we can’t jack up the rent on this person.”
“Any idea who it is?”
I shook my head, my eyes drifting over to it. “It’s a shame. It’s gonna be one helluva cabin.”
“And what are you gonna do?”
“Rebuild,” I sighed. “God knows I can’t live with Ma and Pop forever.”
“You could have chosen to live with Jeff.”
My gaze snapped to his, my eyes narrowing dangerously. “Have you seen the way he lives? I wouldn’t step foot in his house unless I wanted to get hepatitis.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“Go see for yourself.”
“And Bailey? Have you given up on that?”
Just her name sent a spear of pain through my chest, slicing me wide open. I hadn’t seen her since that day in her apartment. In fact, I didn’t leave the ranch unless I absolutely had to, and then I avoided anywhere she might be at all costs.
“I ruined things with her. She’d never trust me again, and I can’t blame her for that.”
“I’m sorry, man.”
“Don’t be. It’s my own fault. But I’ll never regret it. I was doing everything I could to keep her safe, and in the end, that’s all that matters to me.”
“She might still come around.”
“No.” It was easier to admit that to myself now than it had been six weeks ago. Every time I closed my eyes, I could still see the devastation on her face when she came to my house and found Ellie May with me. Like she said, she would always doubt me. There was no wiping that slate clean.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Yeah,” I huffed out a laugh. “When the insurance money comes through, help me build a new house.”
“Same spot?”
When I had built that house, we still had cattle. Now that I could choose anywhere on the land, I had been considering what it might be like to live out here by the falls.
“Isolation won’t do you any good,” he said, as if reading my thoughts.
“No, but I like it out here.”
It reminded me of Bailey. I wasn’t sure why, but every time I thought of the falls, I imagined her out here, swinging on the front porch in the morning with a cup of coffee and a blanket wrapped around her body.
I might not have her, but I could live out my fantasies in other ways.
“Man, you are a glutton for punishment. I’ve seen that look before.”
“Yeah? When?”
Smirking, he clapped me on the shoulder before walking away, calling over his shoulder. “After you rescued her on the playground when you were in fourth grade.”
“Third grade,” I whispered.