Chapter 10
LILY
The rain is gone, and morning light slips through the curtains, ready to reveal the day.
I wake up curled against warmth. Colt is solid and still, breathing peacefully beside me.
His arm is over my waist, loose but protective, like his body knows something his mind doesn’t want to admit. My back is to his front, and the steady thump of his heartbeat radiates through me.
For one perfect second, I don’t think. I don’t think about how the conversation went last night, or how he gave me a bit of himself, and I, him. I don’t think about how similar our situations are, and I definitely don’t think about what happens next.
Because I already know.
This isn’t a moment in time, it’s not a fling, and it certainly isn’t a mistake.
But Colt Callahan doesn’t do anything halfway.
So he’s either going to be in with me or out.
And all I can do is lie here with this emotionally barricaded man and let him decide what he wants.
Because if I push him, he will move in one direction.
I shift carefully, and his grip tightens instinctively.
“Don’t,” he mutters, voice rough with sleep.
I freeze, and my heart does something stupid and wild.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper.
His body relaxes, and his hand cups my breast. His thumb slowly brushes over my nipple, back and forth, back and forth. It’s a calming technique for him, but for me? He’s lighting me on fire. And if we do this again? I’m not sure my sunshine will be able to push the storm I feel inside away.
He wakes slowly, and the moment he realizes where he is, his body stills. It doesn’t feel like rejection, but it damn sure feels like the control he’s been grasping onto, or the walls that he’s got are sliding back into place.
“Morning,” I say softly.
He swallows. “Morning.” Silence stretches, and I feel his breath on my neck.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
That’s it. No teasing or banter, just quiet Colt. And that Colt is worse than the one who would fight with me. This Colt is retreating.
I sit up, pulling the sheet with me. “Don’t do that thing,” I say gently.
“What thing?”
“That thing where you shut down instead of arguing.”
His jaw flexes. “I’m not–”
“You are. Your jaw is ticking and grinding. Do you know how many times a day I see that look?”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to argue. I’m just thinking.”
“About?”
He exhales. “Everything.”
“Last night wasn’t a mistake,” I say.
He doesn’t answer immediately, which should be telling, but then he says, “I didn't say it was.”
“But you’re acting like it scared the hell out of you.”
He looks up at me, eyes dark, eyelashes thick, and says, “It did.”
The honesty knocks the air out of my lungs. For Colt Callahan to admit he’s afraid of something, even after this short time, is huge. I slide closer to him.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because for some strange reason, you got under my skin, and I don’t think I’ve ever had someone there before.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know how to feel about it.”
My chest tightens. “Colt—”
“You should know I choose the rodeo over everyone,” he continues, without looking at me, “including myself. I don't know any other way.”
“That’s who you are. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, let alone afraid of.”
His mouth curves without humor. “Sometimes, I’m afraid of myself.”
I reach for his hand, and this time, he doesn’t pull away.
“Listen, last night happened because we’ve been circling each other since the first day. I didn’t hate it, and you shouldn’t either.”
He plays with my fingers but still won’t look at me.
“Sunshine,” he murmurs, “you walked into my life like that storm last night. All wild and not caring what came raining down on me.”
I smile softly. “Well, you’ve been living in a drought.”
“Ya know, you’re not just a PR girl,” he says suddenly.
He sits up, leaning against the headboard now, strong, tan chest all on display and causing me to deviate from the conversation. I blink. “Excuse me?”
He pulls me close, against his side. “You’re not just a bubbly personality,” he continues. “You’ve got grit. You’re stubborn as hell.” He suddenly rolls me to my stomach and gives me two sharp spanks, “And you’ve got the sexiest ass I've ever seen.”
I stretch my arms out in front of me, letting the weight of him settle on top of me, wiggling my ass just right.
“And you’re not just a grumpy cowboy,” I reply. “You’re loyal, and you proved you can outlast eight seconds.”
He barks a laugh and tickles my ribs. We roll around in the bed for a moment before we both settle into each other's arms.
“I don’t know what to do next,” he admits.
“Neither do I,” I say.
“But I know what it’s not.”
“What?”
“A one-night thing.” He squeezes my hand. “I’m not promising forever, and definitely not promising easy, but–”
“Just promise honesty. If or when this stops working, you tell me.”
“Or, when the job is done, and you leave.”
Silence surrounds us. Leaving was never a thought. It’s not that I thought I was going to move in with him, I just wasn’t thinking about what happens when the job is done.
“So,” I say lightly, “who’s going to tell your mom?”