Chapter 12
LILY
The problem with sleeping with a grumpy cowboy is that now he occupies your mind. I’m very much aware of our change of status. I’m aware of everything…my body, my heart, my expectations, my fear, his fear…everything slams into me all at once.
Which is another fantasy. Feeling cheeky, and because I know he expects it, I shoot off a text to him.
Me: Can you wear your Stetson?
Colt: I always wear it.
Me: No, in bed. Just the hat.
Colt: You’re getting even more bossy
Me: Sorry, you can spank me later
I toss the phone on the bed and pace the room. The kiss replays in my head, and the night runs on a never-ending loop.
The truck.
The rain.
His hands.
His mouth.
The way he kissed was like he was losing control instead of taking it.
A knock hits the door, loud and familiar.
“Well, hello, Levi,” I call out as I open the door and see him grinning like a man who knows too much.
“Well,” he says. “You look suspiciously calm for someone who broke in an old bull last night.”
“Levi!” I shout and fall into giggles. “You’re so crude.”
“And you love it. Can I come in?”
“Yeah, I’m almost ready. Sorry to pull you from the ranch.”
“Oh, it's no problem at all. I think Colt needed a break from me anyway.” He flops into the chair like he owns the place. “Speaking of Colt...” His words linger, and I turn and cross my arms.
“Go ahead and ask what you wanna know.”
“Oh, I know it all already. He spilled secrets like momma pours tea.”
I raise a brow. “Really? He kisses and tells? That seems very unlike Colt.”
“We’re brothers, it’s what we do.”
“Yeah? He told you about my tattoo?”
His eyes go wide. “No! That fucker left that out!”
I chuckle and sit to pull my boots on. “There's no tattoo, Levi, and you’re a storyteller.”
“Whatever. I know the kiss in the rain storm jump-started your evening.”
I shake my head and stand, gathering my purse.
“So,” he asks casually. “You and Colt now?”
“There is no ‘me and Colt.’”
Levi smirks. “Sounds like a fake denial.”
“That’s a boundary.” I dig through my purse, looking for something to do. “Did you come to interrogate me?”
“No,” he admits. “I came to warn you.”
That gets my attention. “About what?”
He sobers a little. “My brother isn’t easy, as you know, and he certainly doesn’t fall easily for anyone. And when he feels too much, he runs.”
I nod. “I’ve noticed.”
“But,” Levi adds, “when he stays, he stays.”
“He’s scared about what comes next, and I don’t mean me,” I say quietly.
Levi nods. “Yeah.”
“I’m worried for him.”
He smiles softly. “That’s how you know he matters.”
I look away and think about the place I’m in and the lives I could be disrupting. And about the man I can’t stop thinking about.
“I didn’t come here looking for this, Levi. I want you to know that.”
Levi grins. “Nobody ever does.”
“I came to work.”
“And now you’re doing emotional labor.”
I snort. “It’s harder than the bulls.”
Levi stands. “You’re good for him,” he says simply. “Too good, but you didn’t hear that from me.” He winks.
He heads for the door, and I follow, almost slamming into his back when he stops and turns.
“And for the record—” he adds, smirking, “he’s already fucked.”
I blink. “Levi.”
“Emotionally,” he clarifies. “Relax.” Then he grins wider. “Physically, too, but that’s your business.”
I slap at his chest and push him out the door, all the while thinking about the truth of this situation as we walk out to his truck.
This isn’t a fling. It’s two people who lost—one who’s already worked their way out and the other who’s just learning–but both finding their way back into something new.
And right now, I realize I'm deeper in than I thought, because when I fall, I fall all the way. I just hope he can catch me because I'm not sure I’m strong enough for us both.