Round 55 #2
He pushes through a doorway and emerges into a noisier section of the police station. He’s on the move, just like he promised. “Yeah?”
“I don’t know if I’m forgetful because of…” I tilt my head from side to side. “Ya know, my brain injury, or if it was because of the excess alcohol I drank that night. And I don’t even know if you know—if Ollie told you, or Eliza or—”
“You wanna headline it for me, Rose? Kinda busy over here.”
I cough out an embarrassed laugh. Shaky and silly and emotional and, more than anything else, nervous.
“Sorry. The headline is that I got insanely drunk with Ollie’s sisters, Alana, and Fox a while back.
The kind of drunk that meant I didn’t really want to live the next day.
And then I guess I forgot a bunch of what happened, since alcohol is bad.
” I press a hand to my stomach—remembered trauma and the nausea that followed.
“I might’ve started talking shit about you that night, ‘cos drunk women say dumb things, and I hadn’t forgotten how you were kind of a dick when we first met. ”
He chuckles. “Drunk chicks bitching about me. That takes me right back to high school. What about it?”
“Raquel told me about Aria.” I say it quickly.
Like swallowing a nasty-flavored pill. “I said how you seemed to be a bit of a douchebag—which I feel bad about now, just so you know—and Raquel told me why you’re a douchebag.
And anyway…” I catch the rumble of an engine outside.
The crackle of tires on gravel. I turn on my stool and slide to my socked feet.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry that happened to you.
I can’t imagine the pain you must’ve felt, bringing a brand-new baby home, but leaving your wife behind.
That was unreasonably cruel of the universe. ”
“Yeah, well…” He drops onto a squeaky chair, the frame groaning and griping under his weight.
“It happens, huh? Wasn’t the first time the universe decided to fuck me over.
Probably won’t be the last. Leave this stuff with me, and I’ll try to connect some more dots.
I’ll email all the files over as I get them. ”
“Okay.” I don’t get a chance to say goodbye.
There will be no weird farewells with Billy the detective, because he kills our call without another word, cutting me off and ending the torment of talking about feelings…
or his dead wife. Lowering the phone and wandering across the kitchen, I cross the hall and move through the living room.
Peeking through the window overlooking Ollie’s front yard, I catch the glitter and gleam of Darcy’s car in the driveway.
Then the creak and groan of the porch steps as he moves up.
Glancing down at my phone—he’s a little early—I lock the screen and open the door, even before he has a chance to knock.
“Hey.” His eyes widen with surprise. His lips, curling into a kind smile. But it takes only a single second for his expression to fall. “Wait. What’s wrong?”
“What?”
He stalks forward and cups my face in his hand, dragging his thumb across the top of my cheek. “You’ve been crying?”
“Oh.” I brush him away, gentle despite my rebuff. “No, I’m fine.”
“What happened? Is it your grandma? Is she—”
“No. She’s fine.” I think. I have no clue.
“I’ve been going through my files now that you’ve given us a few names to work with, that’s all.
There’s a lot to unpack, and reading about my brother has been kind of hard.
You’re a little earlier than I was expecting.
” I swipe beneath my nose and take a single step back.
“And the rain is kind of disappointing, huh? Maybe we should—”
“My bed and breakfast owner, Camille, told me about this place out by the lake that has shelter.” He flashes an easy smile.
“She knew we were planning to head over to Picnic Point, and could tell I was disheartened at the prospect of canceling, so she gave me directions to somewhere else nearby. Means we can still get lunch and not get rained on. If you still want to go, that is.”
He’s leaving it up to me. While rain pours from the sky, hammering against the grass and creating puddles in Ollie’s pot-holed driveway, Darcy remains a complete gentleman.
“I would really like to spend the day with you, Rose. And if you’re cold, we could change the destination.
There’s a diner in town we could hang out in—which’ll come with a constant supply of mediocre coffee,” he snickers.
“Or Camille has a nice sitting room at the front of the house for guests. Plenty of coffee there, too. I already packed a picnic lunch, so we can take that wherever we’re going.
” His expression drops. “But if you’re not feeling up to it… ”
“No. I am.” I take another step back. “It’s okay.
I like the idea of going to the diner. I wasn’t expecting you for another half an hour, though, so I didn’t get a chance to brush my teeth.
” I cross the threshold and scoop Poppy up before she can escape out the front door.
“Give me two minutes and I’ll be ready for you. ”
“No problem.” He hovers in the doorway, dipping his hands into his pockets, then pulling them out again.
Setting them on his hips, then allowing them to dangle by his side.
“You won’t think less of me for being a complete awkward mess, will you?
It feels like I’ve gone all the way back to the start.
Trying to impress a beautiful woman, kinda terrified she’ll reject me.
” He coughs out an uncomfortable laugh. “I know I said that stuff last night about how I’m not worried about this, since you loved me before.
But my bravado has slipped a little in the light of a new day. ”
“It’s fine.” I scratch behind Poppy’s ears and carry her back another half dozen steps. “Come in out of the rain if you want. I’ll only be a moment.”
“Really?” He gingerly crosses the threshold and glances around. “You sure?”
“Yeah. But this isn’t my house.” I stop at the doorway leading to the hall. “I’m just a guest, so don’t wander around or anything. It’s not my place to allow that.”
“I won’t snoop.” He drops his hands into his pockets again and rocks back onto his heels. “I’ll wait right here, I promise.”
“Great. I’ll be quick.” I spin on my heels and make a beeline for the bathroom, smearing toothpaste onto my brush and setting Poppy on the long marble vanity.
“So what’s with you and Doctor Darling, anyway?
” Darcy calls easily from the living room, his tone relaxed.
Even as guilt lances through my stomach—since Darcy is, in fact, my fiancé—his question is void of accusation.
Not even a hint of bitterness. “They don’t have proper outpatient facilities in small towns like this, so the surgeon has to bring you home? ”
I scrub, scrub, scrub my teeth, the paste foaming in my mouth while Poppy tiptoes forward and licks the bottom of the faucet.
Turning the tap on, just barely more than a trickle, I let her drink, careful not to dribble toothpaste onto the top of her head.
“I was meant to go to this place in the next town over. But he knew I was scared and was kind enough to open his home to me.” I spit and scrub, smoothing the furry aftermath of coffee from my teeth, and when my phone vibrates with an incoming email, I spy Billy’s name on the screen, delivering on his promises quicker than I expected.
Rinsing my mouth clean and washing the toothbrush, I toss it into the cup right beside Ollie’s and simply stop.
Smile.
I bathe in my moment of contentment and stare at our toothbrushes side by side.
His is green. Mine is purple. We share a single tube of toothpaste, and beside that sits a bottle of cologne that smells exactly what my happy dreams smell like these days.
Maybe I chose Darcy first, agreeing to marriage and planning a life with him.
But I’m not that Rose anymore. I’m not the woman who loved him.
I’m me, and as I stare at myself in the vanity mirror, my eyes pink from tears and exhaustion and still, glittering with the million colors I’ve never really been able to see—but Ollie can—I know I won’t choose Darcy a second time.
He’s confident I will. Certain we’re meant to be together.
But I can’t imagine a world where Ollie exists all the way over here in a tiny town called Plainview, and I’m somewhere else… with someone else.
I don’t accept it.
I love Ollie. I love our cat. I love our joint tube of toothpaste, and I love that instead of tossing away the mug I chipped way back when I first came to stay here, he repurposed it, bringing it to the bathroom and making it our toothbrush holder.
It’s better than a giant diamond ring, as far as I’m concerned.
Turning off the tap and wiping my mouth with a towel, I scoop Poppy up in one hand, and my phone with the other.
I pat my back pocket to ensure I have everything I need, then spinning on my socks, I charge back along the hall and step into the living room to find Darcy standing between the couch and the coffee table, his head tilted at an angle that makes reading the topmost files easier.
“Hey.”
Surprised, he straightens out and blushes, pasting on a friendly smile and dropping one hand into his pocket. “Hi. Sorry. I saw your name and couldn’t help myself.”
I set Poppy on the floor and watch her dart across the room and around to tangle herself between Darcy’s feet, then I snag my boots and step into them.
I pull one on and drag the zipper up. Then the second.
Drag the zipper up. Straightening out, I head across the room and spy Liam’s kind eyes peeking out from a drawing at the top of the stack.
Uncertainty envelops me as I bring my focus back up again. “I learned more about him this morning.”
“Yeah?” Darcy meanders around the couch and moves to the door, pulling it open to reveal the miserable, rainy day outside. “Good or bad?”