Chapter 40
It was close to midnight when Giana lay in Rodrigo's bed, cocooned in the warmth of his body, the cotton sheets tangled around their legs.
Through the tall windows, the moon cast silver light across the floor, illuminating the shadows where guards moved in silent rotation along the perimeter.
She could hear the faint crackle of radios, the occasional murmur of voices carried on the night air.
Everyone was sleeping in shifts. The compound was still awake and waiting for Vincenzo's assault.
Wrapped in Rodrigo's arms with his heartbeat steady beneath her ear, she was comfortable but couldn't sleep. Neither could Rodrigo.
His fingers traced lazy patterns on her bare shoulder, the touch soothing.
"You're thinking too loud," he murmured against her hair, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through her.
Giana huffed a soft laugh. "Old habit."
"Tell me what's on your mind so we can both sleep afterward." It wasn't a command. It was an invitation, offered in the darkness where confessions came easier.
Giana was quiet for a long moment, her fingers tracing the ridges of his abdomen, feeling the muscle twitch beneath her touch.
"I never…" She stopped, her throat tightening. It felt silly to admit it, but it was something she wanted him to know. "I've never let anyone else touch me but you. You know that, right?"
Rodrigo went still beneath her. The hand on her shoulder paused.
"I don't mean I didn't have the opportunity," she continued, the words tumbling out. "When I was at university, there were men. Interested men. Good-looking, normal men who didn't know what I was or where I came from. Men who smiled at me in coffee shops and asked for my number."
She felt him tense, a coiled energy radiating out of him.
"But every time one of them got close, I never went through with it…" A bitter laugh escaped her. "I told myself I was being careful. Smart. That it was dangerous to let anyone in because Gabriella was watching."
"Giana…" Rodrigo whispered.
"That wasn't the whole truth." She pushed up on her elbow, needing to see his face in the moonlight. "I told myself I hated you. I let you be the monster in my head that everyone said you were, because it was easier than admitting the truth to myself."
She trailed off, the words catching in her chest like broken glass.
Rodrigo waited, calmly watching her with those dark, patient eyes that had always seen her when no one else did.
"I hated you, but you were also the only one I ever wanted," she finished, the confession ripping something loose inside her.
"Even when I was supposed to be free, even when I was thousands of miles away, some part of me was always expecting you to turn up.
It's why I left ways back into your security system, so I always had a connection to you if I needed to use it.
I told myself it was so that if you ever did come for me, I could use it to destroy you.
I was so sure I hated you, but when I was grabbed in Bodrum, my mind cried out for you, and then you came for me as if you had somehow heard. "
The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy.
When Rodrigo finally spoke, his voice was rough. "Do you know what it was like? Watching you, wanting you, knowing I had no right to?"
"You watched everyone to make sure they weren't a threat to Gabriella's pet," she pointed out.
"No. I watched you." His hand stroked over her dark curls. "Protecting you was never just about doing a job for my mother, Giana. From the first moment I saw you, I knew I would stand between you and any threat, no matter what happened."
The admission hung between them, weighted with years of silence.
"Every smile you gave someone else," he continued, his voice dropping lower, darker. "Every time you laughed at something another man said, I wanted to burn the world down. I wanted to drag you away and keep you somewhere safe where no one else could ever look at you."
His words should have terrified her. Instead, it sent heat pooling low in her belly, a dark answering pull that she had spent years trying to deny.
"That's a bit insane," she whispered.
"I know." His mouth curved in a humorless smile. "I was obsessed. I am obsessed. I've been obsessed since you were nineteen years old and looked me dead in the eye like I was nothing more than an inconvenience."
She grinned. "You were an inconvenience."
"I was your warden."
The truth of it lay between them, ugly and inescapable.
"I tried to stay away," Rodrigo said, his fingers still stroking her hair. "I told myself you deserved better than a man like me. Better than a Colleoni. Better than someone who had helped cage you, even if it was the only way I knew I could keep you alive."
"Rodrigo," she whispered, her chest aching.
"I never would have touched you while you were trapped." His eyes were fierce now, burning with a conviction that left no room for doubt. "Even if it killed me. The wanting was eating me alive, but you had to be free first. Really free. Free to choose and walk away."
"You felt that way, and you let me go?" Giana had always thought he must have been relieved to finally be free of the burden of her.
"Yes, and every day you were gone was its own kind of hell. I would do it again a thousand times over because you deserve the choice."
Tears pricked at Giana's eyes, hot and sudden. Not from sadness but the overwhelming weight of understanding and seeing the full shape of what had existed between them all along.
"When you were gone, it was so hard for me not to track you," Rodrigo continued.
"I only wanted to know you were safe and that you were eating and sleeping okay, and that no one was hurting you.
And then Dario was the one who finally admitted he left a tail on you.
I'm not sure if he did it for you or me, to be honest."
"I knew I wasn't crazy! I thought I was paranoid at first. That I was just imagining eyes on me because I was so used to being watched," Giana said.
"You weren't imagining it. Unfortunately, Dario's men didn't pick up that Vincenzo was also watching you."
She leaned into his touch, turning her head to press a kiss to his chest. "Can I ask what you saw in all those years you were watching over me?"
The question seemed to catch him off guard. He was quiet for a moment, his gaze distant.
"Strength," he said finally. "More strength than anyone gave you credit for. You bent, Giana, but you never broke. Gabriella threw everything she had at you with the manipulation, the control, the subtle cruelties, and you survived all of it."
"I survived because I didn't have a choice," she replied.
"You survived because you're stronger than you know. I saw your defiance and the way you fought back in small, quiet ways. The way you never let her see you cry, never gave her the satisfaction of knowing she had gotten to you."
Giana's throat tightened. She had thought no one noticed those small rebellions, the tiny victories she had claimed in a war she had been losing.
"You were always the most dangerous person in any room," Rodrigo said with a soft laugh. "You just didn't know it yet."
Something cracked inside her, and the tears Giana had been fighting spilled over, tracking hot down her cheeks.
Rodrigo's expression shifted, concern flickering through the intensity. "Giana?"
"I'm not sad," she managed, sniffing the tears back. "I don't know why I'm crying. It's so silly."
"Come here." He pulled her down against him, wrapping his arms around her, pressing his lips to her forehead. "You don't have to explain. Not to me."
"She hurt you just as much as the rest of us, Rodrigo. You will never be the monster she wanted you to be," she said, clinging to him, her face buried in the warm curve of his neck.
"I… I don't know if I believe that's true," he replied. "I'm not a good man, Giana."
"Whatever you are, you're mine."
Rodrigo's grip on her tightened. "Now that, I can be sure of."
Giana finally lifted her head, wiping at her damp cheeks. "Sorry. That was—"
His thumb caught a lingering tear, brushing it away with impossible gentleness before bringing it to his mouth. "Never apologize for letting me see you."
Giana gave in and kissed him. It was soft and deep, a slow exploration of lips and tongues that made her chest ache with its tenderness.
When they broke apart, Rodrigo's eyes were dark with want and reverence.
"I need you," he said, the words raw and honest. "Not just tonight. Not just until this is over. I need you, Giana. All of you."
"You have me." She rose over him, straddling his hips, and felt him hard against her, but when she moved to take him inside her a short time later, he stopped her, his hands gentle on her hips.
"Slow," he said, his voice rough. "Let me…"
He pulled her down for another kiss, long and deep, his hands roaming her body with a tenderness that undid her.
When he finally guided her onto him, it was inch by inch, his eyes locked on hers, watching every flicker of sensation cross her face.
The way he looked at her, like she was his everything, hit her the hardest.
They found a slow rhythm that built the pleasure gradually, wave upon wave. This wasn't the frantic, possessive claiming of before. This was soft sighs and touches. She loved the way his breath caught when she rolled her hips and the way her name fell from his lips.
Rodrigo's hands stroked her breasts, her waist, the curve of her hip, touching her like he was memorizing every line.
When his thumb found her clit, circling with gentle pressure, Giana gasped, her rhythm faltering.
Her orgasm built faster, a rising tide that crested and broke with a soft cry.
She shattered around him, her body clenching, pleasure radiating through her.
Rodrigo groaned, his hips thrusting up as he followed her over the edge, burying himself deep as he came. Giana collapsed against him, boneless and trembling. She knew at last she had one person that she didn't have to hide from anymore, and it made her want to cry again.
Rodrigo's arms came around her, holding her close. His lips brushed her temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.
"I've got you, anima mia," he whispered against her skin. "No matter what happens, I've got you."
They lay tangled together as their breathing slowed, the sweat cooling on their skin. With Rodrigo's heartbeat steady beneath her ear, and his arms wrapped around her like he would never let go, Giana felt something she hadn't felt in years.
Safe. Whole. Home.