9. Grace
9
GRACE
T he buzzing in my ears overpowered the sound of car engines and the horns blowing on the busy Boston street as I buried my face into Brian’s chest. I swore I was on a fast-moving train to a mental health institution. I loved Duke, and at the same time, I wanted to strangle him. I knew he meant well, but I couldn’t let him suffocate me again. I wanted to believe I could handle myself. After all, I’d been training in self-defense for years since my escape. I’d learned how to use weapons, pick locks, and free myself if I were ever barricaded in a cage.
I shuddered against Brian, relishing the strength of his arms, his manly scent seeping into my nostrils. The tighter he held me, the more I relaxed as the sound of those angry bees in my ears lessened.
“I hate him,” I repeated over and over.
Resting his chin on my head, he rubbed my back. “No, you don’t. He loves you, Grace. He’s only trying to protect you.”
I craned my neck upward, blinking away tears. “From what? The frat boy won’t come after me.” If he did, his father, the judge, would be forced to throw him in prison.
“What aren’t you telling anyone?”
“What are you talking about?” As soon as I asked the question, I knew the answer. Ted had told Dillon that I asked about Miguel. Of course, Duke must know that too. It now made sense why my brother was on high alert. Duke had been with me when Miguel kidnapped my sister-in-law Maggie in exchange for me. That had been another dark day in my life, with bullets flying and one hitting Maggie, all because of me. I was the reason for my family’s problems.
“Ted talked to Duke,” I said, more to myself than Brian.
“Is Miguel Rivera who you want my advice on?” he asked evenly.
I gnawed on my bottom lip. “No.”
He held my face between his large palms, his lush green eyes full of something I couldn’t put my finger on. “Talk to me, Grace.”
I captured my bottom lip between my teeth. “I want all this to end.”
“What to end?” He tucked hair around my ear.
I glanced out and past the line of cars waiting for the light to turn green, and my gaze landed on a man standing at the corner looking at us. My stomach went haywire as I stiffened, paranoia causing my heart to pound against my ribs.
“Grace, what is it?” Brian followed my line of sight, but the man had already slipped around the corner. “Did you see someone you knew?”
“Just a person who appeared lost.” That was the only answer I had.
I wasn’t prepared to voice to Brian that I felt someone might be stalking me. I had yet to see the same person more than once. On top of that, until I could confirm that my feelings were real, I couldn’t put my family through another round of panic.
“Grace.” His tone was even but held a smidge of warning. “Talk to me. I told you I would help.”
With Duke about to come out of the bar at any moment, this wasn’t the time. In addition, I was beginning to feel as though I might’ve shown poor judgement in asking Brian for his help. I couldn’t ruin his longtime friendship with my brother. Plus, Brian didn’t keep secrets from Duke.
“Look at me, baby girl.”
His pet name for me sent warmth throughout my body, and his soft voice made me feel like I wanted to tell him every detail of my past. Things that I hadn’t even confided in my therapist or anyone else, for that matter.
His gaze dropped to my lips, and my pulse increased exponentially. A heated dance of danger and desire began as he shifted his attention from my lips and locked eyes with me.
My breaths came in short gasps as the sound of car horns blowing, pedestrians walking by, and someone hailing a cab faded into a distant hum. All my problems became insignificant as this gorgeous man ensnared me in his seductive web. Hope bloomed for the first time ever. Hope that I could have feelings for a man. Hope that I could have a future, a husband, and a family like my brothers had.
I placed my hand on Brian’s face, and he leaned into my touch as if he were the one who needed consoling.
“What the fuck is going on?” Duke raised his voice, which sounded deep and scary.
Brian jumped back as if he were on fire. “Just talking.”
Duke was breathing fire at his best friend. “We just discussed Grace, and you assured me there’s nothing going on between you two.”
It was my turn to spit fire. “You don’t have a say in who I see.” Not that Brian and I were dating.
Brian steeled his shoulders. “Calm the fuck down, Duke. We were just talking.”
“Like hell you were.” The brown in Duke’s eyes darkened to the shade of coal.
Like a referee in a boxing ring, I held out my arms between them. “He was trying to prevent me from decking you.”
Duke’s laugh wasn’t nice. “That’s not what I saw.”
“Why are you trying to control me?” I was on the verge of screaming. “If I like Brian, so what?”
Duke’s eyebrows flew into his hairline. “Since when?”
If Brian reacted to my comment, I didn’t notice because he was behind me.
“You two need to figure out your shit.” Brian’s tone was dripping with frustration as he removed his keys from his jeans pocket. “I have my own crap to deal with.” He stalked away.
Great. Now I could be responsible for breaking up their friendship.
Duke stood frozen, a wariness stamped on his hard features.
I shoved my brother—or tried to. “Talk to him. He’s done nothing wrong.”
“We both need to cool off,” Duke said. “Knox will follow you to the shelter. You’re staying there with Andie, right?”
Knox hung back by the door, seemingly not paying any attention to us.
“I don’t need a bodyguard. So what if I asked about Miguel or broke down in front of you in the police station?” I would bet that the latter was the reason he was in freak mode. “As I told you the other night, you can’t help me, Duke. And a bodyguard sure as heck won’t take away my past. None of that is reason enough to suffocate me again. I need to go.”
It was futile to argue about a bodyguard. All my brothers were hardheaded, but Duke won the award for stubbornness.
Duke caught my arm. “Is someone following you?”
I laughed only because he was clairvoyant. “You came to that conclusion because?”
“Your actions, Grace. Something is messing with your head, and don’t give me the excuse it’s your thesis. Ted filled me in that you’re looking into Miguel as part of your research. The last time you acted like you were spooked, Miguel was hunting you. You shut out Dillon and me and had Dominic help you. Is that what you’re doing with Brian? Using him?”
I felt like he punched me in the stomach. My intentions were not to use anyone but to keep my brothers out of my business. They had their own lives. I wasn’t about to cry or break down.
I held my head high. “You’re one to talk. You kept Dillon, Denim, and me in the dark for years about your life, always afraid that we would become victims of your enemies. So don’t give me your father-type speech. And is it a crime to be attracted to Brian?” I huffed out a breath. “News flash, brother. Brian doesn’t keep secrets from you, which means if I asked for his help for any reason, he would tell you. Do what you want with the bodyguard. I don’t care anymore.” I threw my arms up. “And stop psychoanalyzing me. If I want anyone to do that, I’ll see a doctor. I’m out of here.”
I walked away, seething, hurt, and angry.
“I love you, Grace,” Duke called after me.
I knew he did. I also knew he and my other two brothers would die for me. But as much as Duke wanted to protect me, I wanted to protect him.
Pulling my keys from my purse, I decided that I wouldn’t engage Brian in my shit. I didn’t want to use him. If someone was stalking me, even if it was Zane Smith bent on revenge, I would handle the situation myself. For all I knew, my mind was playing tricks on me because I was digging up my past with my research on sex trafficking.