23. Brian
23
brIAN
I ’d wanted to take Grace to a nice restaurant to make it a proper date. But frankly, I was beginning to despise restaurants because of the people and the noise. She had to feel the same way, since she worked at Yvonne’s. Besides, I’d been exhausted and pissed when I got off the plane. Damn Sabine was nowhere to be found. It was like she disappeared off the face of the earth. I went to Rogues but found out she hadn’t shown up for work in over a week. I even drove through the drug-infested neighborhoods and asked around for her son, Harris. I’d struck out.
I couldn’t waste my time anymore. But Detective Stuart assured me he would keep his ears open and call if he heard anything.
Grace was in my bedroom, on the phone. She’d gotten a call as we were cleaning up from dinner. Oh, the temptation to stride in there and strip her naked was almost beyond my control. I hungered to feel what it would be like to be buried balls deep inside her.
As we ate dinner, I thought about pampering her with a candlelit bubble bath. But if she wasn’t ready for that next step, I didn’t want to assume anything. It would be best if we kept our clothes on. So plan B was watching a movie. Not exactly novel, but I’d never curled up with a female, except for my daughter, to watch anything, and Fran didn’t count.
I found The Notebook on Netflix, switched on the gas fireplace, and brought the bottle of wine we had yet to finish to the living room then waited for Grace.
With the remote in hand, I sat on the couch, glancing out at the twinkling city lights. My stomach in knots, I felt like a teenager in love.
Her footsteps clicked on the wood floor. “So, we’re watching a movie?”
I cringed at the sadness in her tone. “I thought this would be cozy.”
She kicked off her shoes. “Sorry, that was Duke. Apparently, he checked in with Knox, who’s down in the lobby.”
“Ah, say no more. Duke will come around.”
After breaking the news to Duke about my feelings for Grace, I’d called her the minute I walked out of his office. She’d also chatted with him but mainly about ditching Knox before she’d driven to Connecticut.
“We don’t have to watch a movie,” I said. “I can take you home.”
She brought her glass of wine with her as she sat beside me. “That would be the dorm. So, no. I gave Andie a heads-up that I might stay here tonight, if that’s okay.”
I thought I was being presumptuous, but I wasn’t about to cheer just yet. “You can stay with me anytime.”
I started the movie, and silence fell over us like a lead blanket.
Curling her legs under her, she sipped her wine. As for me, I was as stiff as a board, as in awkward. The last time I’d felt like this had nothing to do with a girl and everything to do with a mob guy I’d met in my early teenage years. The man could scare anyone straight.
The music from the movie filtered through the overhead speakers as both of us stared at the screen.
A laugh broke out in my head. I was thirty-seven but felt fifteen again—palms sweaty, heart racing, mind on overdrive.
She set her glass on the coffee table. “Brian, can I tell you something without judgement?” Her tone led me to believe she had bad news.
I paused the movie, swallowed thickly, and gave her my full attention. “I told you. No judgement from me.”
She adjusted her body, sitting crisscross facing me. “I’m scared.”
I stretched my arm along the back of the sofa, angling my body in her direction. “About? You have a bodyguard, and I’m here.”
She shook her head wildly, her cheeks rosy, no doubt from equal parts shyness and the alcohol. “It’s not about someone following me, although Knox said he hasn’t seen anyone nosing around.”
That was good to know. Maybe, as she thought, her feeling was all in her head.
“The way I feel about you scares me.”
Whoa! My muscles snapped tight faster than the speed of light. I wasn’t expecting that admission.
“You’re upset?” She looked past me toward the floor-to-ceiling window.
I held her chin between two fingers so she faced me. “Surprised but not upset. Tell me more.”
She inhaled deeply. “I’m frightened to be with a man. I mean, really be with a man.”
She had an on-again, off-again relationship with Dominic, and as far as I knew, she hadn’t dated any other guy. “Dom and you?—”
“Never had sex. We’ve kissed, slept in the same bed, and done some other things. He tried, but after what I’d been through?—”
I placed a finger on her lips. “Please don’t finish that statement. If you do, I will hunt down every fucker in the sex-trafficking industry and torture them before putting a bullet in their heads.”
Rage consumed me, not at Dom. It threw me off-kilter, though, that she and Dom had never consummated their relationship, which was odd because anyone could see he was in love with her, but she treated him like a friend. My anger was directed at the men who bought and sold young women. The men who ruined their innocence while instilling fear in, torturing, and raping them. The fuckers who shattered their hopes and dreams.
“I want to be with you,” she said. “But I needed to tell you that.”
“Thank you for sharing.” I swallowed what felt like an elephant. “But Grace, just because you’re staying the night doesn’t mean sex. I’m not sure now is the right time.”
“Why?” she asked. “You don’t want me in that way?”
“Do you really believe that?” She had no idea how badly I longed to unbutton her blue blouse, snap off her bra, and see her gorgeous tits again. After that night in the hotel room in Connecticut, I’d memorized every detail of her breasts, which were perfectly round—small yet big enough to fit in my hands.
She shrugged, seemingly wanting to hear my answer.
Grace was a lot of things, but I’d never thought she was low in self-esteem.
I curled hair around her ear. “You know I want you.”
“But you’re scared too?”
“You have no idea. And not because I’ve never been with a woman before but because my feelings for you are so strong that I don’t want to fuck this up.”
I would be the first man she had sex with since her trafficking days. Holy fuck. But as much as that fact blew me away, I would be honored to show her that sex could be a beautiful act between two people. That was, whenever she was ready.
I grabbed her trembling hands. “I’ve never been in a relationship. Ever, Grace. I’ve kept my feelings guarded at all times with women. Of course, my former profession didn’t allow much leeway in that regard but only because I chose that avenue. I also didn’t want to feel the pain of loss. Losing Sarah made me a hardened individual. Sure, she was my sister, but a loss—no matter how it happens—is still painful.”
“I haven’t been in a relationship either,” she admitted. “I didn’t have the luxury of a boyfriend in high school. That was my fault. I left home. The difference between us is you’ve had a sex life.”
“Sex isn’t everything, baby girl.”
“But it’s important. I know because not having sex with me tore Dom to pieces.”
She was killing me. Her beauty set me on fire. Her heart was pure. Her strength was, by far, one of her most attractive qualities. But what had me falling faster than I expected was her brutal honesty.
“Can I ask what you’re afraid of when it comes to sex?” Maybe flushing out her fears would help us both.
“Memories. Pain.”
My heart jackhammered against my ribs as I resisted the urge to clench my fists or show any signs of emotion. She didn’t need pity. She needed me to listen without judgement.
“Do you know what you like? Where to be touched? What turns you on?”
Her cheeks flushed as she finally smiled. “No one has ever asked me that.” She locked eyes with me, her gaze steady and true. “I liked when Dom went down on me. I like my nipples touched. I like your kisses. Really, really love the way you kiss.” She was beaming until she frowned. “I don’t like my hair to be pulled. I don’t like when a man fucks from behind.” She shook her head crazy fast. “I hate that. And if a man ever tried anal sex on me, I would rip off his balls.”
I winced slightly at the rip-off-his-balls part.
I brushed my fingers gently along her heated cheek. “What would you envision me doing to you?”
She squirmed. “Taking it slow. Lots of foreplay. Kissing me endlessly everywhere. Then maybe I could feel you inside me.”
I was sweating where I sat. Talking about sex was as hot as the act, in my book.
“What do you like?” she asked, soaking in curiosity.
I skimmed a finger over her pouty lips. “I love foreplay. I love tasting a woman. I love to see her orgasm. Oral sex is hot. But the biggest turn-on for me is the enjoyment two people get from pleasing each other.”
I was as hard as a fucking piece of granite.
She unbuttoned her blouse. “Show me all those things.”
Nerves poked at my gut. “Are you sure, baby girl?”
“One hundred percent. I made a promise a long time ago that unless I had strong feelings for man, I wouldn’t give myself to anyone. It’s time. You’re the guy.”
So many fucking emotions danced through my body, my cock, my head, and my freaking heart.
She rose to take off her jeans, her gaze never wavering from mine.
She stood before me in only her bra and panties, and my pulse pounded as I swept my gaze over her, taking my time to memorize every part of her.
She was stunning, with the swell of her breasts poking from her bra, curves that had me squirming where I sat, legs that went on forever, and her brown hair falling in waves, flowing like ripples on the water in the wake of a boat.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. This moment felt monumental, charged with both desire and a deep sense of responsibility. I wanted to make this perfect for her, to show her how beautiful and cherished she was and that no man should abuse or take any woman for granted.
“Come here, baby girl.” I held out my hand.
She stepped closer, her skin luminous in the soft light from the fireplace. I pulled her gently onto my lap and cradled her face in my palms.
Our lips met in a slow, sensual kiss that gradually deepened as I trailed gentle fingers down her neck and along her collarbone, savoring every inch of her silky skin laden with goose bumps.
“Are you okay?” I murmured against her lips.
She nodded, a small whimper escaping her as I unclasped her bra, revealing those perfect tits that I had embedded in my memory. Remembering what she’d said, I circled her nipples with my tongue before taking one into my mouth. She arched her back and let out a soft moan.
Her fingers tangled in my hair. “Don’t stop.”
On her command, I carried her into the bedroom and gently lowered her onto the bed.
She flashed her big brown eyes at me, heat and love pouring out of them.
“You’re absolutely beautiful, Grace. We’ll go as slow as you want. Just tell me if anything doesn’t feel good or you want me to stop.”
Licking her lips, she nodded.
I peppered kisses down her stomach and dipped my tongue into her navel. When I reached the waistband of her panties, I hooked my fingers under the band, looking up at her, silently asking permission.
“Yes,” she breathed.
I dropped to my knees and trailed kisses along her creamy thighs, a heady mix of lust and warm vanilla, sweet and intoxicating, making my cock impossibly hard.
I raised my gaze, nerves making me worry about whether I could please her. She was on her elbows, watching me as she spread her legs wider, seemingly giving me her final approval.
I had never been more anxious about pleasing a woman. I wanted this night to be epic, special, and life-changing—for her, mostly. She needed to be treated like the queen she was.
I took a deep breath, savoring the moment before gently parting her folds with my fingers. Her flesh was pink and inviting, and I was about to lose my load in a flat second.
She gasped, her hips rising off the bed slightly.
“What do you want me to do, baby girl?” I asked before I circled her clit with my tongue, applying gentle pressure.
“Yes, that’s it,” she spewed between breaths.
I lifted her legs over my shoulders then alternated between long, slow licks and quick flicks, paying attention to her reactions.
“Oh, Brian,” she moaned, her thighs trembling.
I slid one finger inside her and curled it upward as I continued to work her with my tongue.
“I love that,” she whispered.
Her response urged me to go deeper. I added a second finger, pumping slowly as I sucked her clit.
Her breathing grew more ragged, her thighs beginning to tremble.
I increased the pressure and speed of my tongue, pumping my fingers faster, desperate to feel her around my dick.
“Don’t stop, Brian. Please. Yes. Yes. ”
She cried out in ecstasy, arching her back, her whole body shuddering as waves of pleasure washed over her.
I gently sucked her clit while she rode out her orgasm.
She raised her head, her cheeks flushed, looking more beautiful, if that was even possible.
“Was that okay?” I crawled up her body, hovering over her.
“Amazing. I’m ready for all of you.”
I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers. “Are you sure?”
Her hands found the bulge in my jeans. “A thousand percent.”
I arched an eyebrow, smirking. “Not a hundred? A thousand?”
She giggled, a sound I could listen to forever. “It’s about two people pleasing each other.”
I let out a belly laugh. “Throwing my words in my face?”
“I never wanted to please a man until this very moment,” she said.
And I’d never loved a woman until that very moment. But I couldn’t bring myself to say those three little words yet.