Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
The rain started as the sun disappeared below the horizon.
Lily pressed her forehead against Gray's apartment window, watching autumn leaves swirl in the growing storm. Behind her, magic erupted from every surface. Vines strangling furniture, roses blooming and dying in seconds, and the damned apple tree from yesterday now punching through the ceiling.
There were only a few hours until the full moon peaked, and she was about to bring disaster to the only place that felt like home.
What if they're right?
The thought had been eating at her since Iris left. Her mother had died like this—magic consuming her from the inside out during a lunar peak. That’s what Iris had told her.
A sunflower burst from the coffee table, grew six feet tall, then withered to ash.
What if I hurt him?
Through the floor, she sensed Gray in the distillery. His wolf energy pulsed against their budding bond—protective, possessive, and ready to fight anyone who tried to touch her. But he couldn't fight her magic. Or protect himself from what she might become.
Another vine erupted, this one thick as her arm, cracking the drywall as it climbed.
I'm destroying his home.
The same way she'd destroy him if she stayed.
Her hands shook as she pulled out her backpack. Three weeks ago, she'd packed this same bag, fleeing the coven with nothing but desperate hope. Now she was packing again, but this time she wasn't running from something.
She was running to protect something.
Someone.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to the empty room, to the mate bond that pulled at her chest, to the wolf who'd given her sanctuary when she had nowhere else to go.
She shoved her clothes in without bothering to fold them.
Her grandmother's pendant. The brewing manual Gray had shared that first night, edges worn from his handling.
A small memento to keep the memory of him close.
She left the herbs, they were all useless anyway, killed by her uncontrolled magic.
Thunder cracked overhead as she slipped down the back stairs. The distillery was busy. Pack members were preparing for tonight's full moon, and the tourists were enjoying the festival's final night. Gray was out front, she could hear him talking to Ryker about security rotations.
Good. He won't know until I'm gone.
The garage sat behind the distillery. That's where Gray had moved her car. She pushed through the heavy door, rain-soaked and shaking.
Gray stood beside her car, arms crossed, amber eyes blazing with betrayed fury.
"Going somewhere?"
Her magic exploded outward, enveloping them both in a maze of vines. "How did you know?"
"I can feel you through our connection, Lily. Every emotion. Every decision." He moved between her and the car, six feet of enraged wolf. "I knew the moment you decided to run."
"I have to leave."
"Bullshit."
"Gray, please—"
"Please what? Let you go? Pretend I didn't just feel your heart breaking upstairs?" He stepped closer, and Gods, even furious, he was magnetic. "Please act like you weren't packing that bag while crying."
She had been crying. Although she hadn’t realized it until he said it.
"I'm trying to protect you!" Her voice rose in panic.
"From what?"
"From me!" The words tore from her throat. "Look around you! Look what I'm doing to your home, your business.
"I don't give a fuck about the building."
"You will when I burn it down. When my magic goes nova and takes you with it." She tried to dodge around him, but he moved faster, caging her against the wall. "The coven was right. I'm too dangerous."
"You're scared."
"Of course I'm scared! I could hurt you!"
"You won't."
"You don't know that!"
"I know you." His hands slammed the wall on either side of her head, his body crowding hers. "I know you talk to the grain when you think no one's listening. I know you touch your grandmother's pendant when you need courage. And I know you'd rather suffer alone than ask anyone for help."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"I also know you bite your lip when you're lying. I know your magic smells like spring rain when you're content and burnt metal when you're terrified."
Her face burned. "Knowing me doesn't mean you're safe."
"I know you're planning to sacrifice yourself because you think you're not worth saving." His voice dropped to a growl. "And I know that's bullshit."
"It's not if it keeps you alive!"
"You don't get to decide what risks I take."
"When the risk is me killing you? Yeah, I do." Her frustration was reaching the boiling point.
"No." He leaned closer, breath hot against her ear. "You don't. You don't get to make that choice for me. For us."
"You really aren’t listening. There is no us if you're dead!"
"There's no us if you run either." His nose skimmed her throat, and her body responded, nipples tightening into hard peaks, muscles clenching with sudden need. "Is that what you want? To run forever? To never stop looking over your shoulder?"
"I want you safe."
"Fuck safe." He pulled back to look at her, eyes molten gold. "I've been safe and empty and going through the motions since Ash died. Then you showed up, and I remembered what it felt like to be alive."
"That's not—you can't just—"
"Can't what? Can't choose you over safe? Can't decide that feeling something is better than feeling nothing?" His jaw clenched. "You brought me back to life, Lily. And now you want to leave?"
"To protect you!"
“Fuck that. You're running because it's easier than staying." His hand came up to grip her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Because staying means trusting someone. It means believing you're worth fighting for."
"I'm not worth your life."
"You are." His thumb traced her lower lip, and electricity raced through her. "You're worth everything. Worth the danger and the fight. Worth the risk."
"You don't understand what could happen."
"Then make me understand. Stop running and fucking talk to me."
She tried to pull away, but he held her fast. "The binding ritual, it doesn't just control magic. It severs your connection to it. Completely. It would make me—"
"Empty. You said that."
"Beyond empty. It would cut me off from the earth itself. From the life force that flows through everything." Tears burned down her cheeks. "But at least you'd be safe. At least my magic couldn’t reach you when it—"
"Stop." His grip gentled, thumb wiping away wetness. "Just stop."
"I can't lose you." The admission cracked her open. "I've lost everyone else. My parents, my grandmother, even my coven. I can't lose you too."
"Then don't leave."
"I have to.”
"Stay and fight. Stay and trust me. Stay and let me—" He cut himself off, jaw clenching. "Stay. Just stay."
"I'm trying to save your life!"
"I don't want to be saved. I want to live. With you."
"Even if it kills you?"
"Even then." His forehead pressed against hers. "Because losing you would be worse than dying.”
"Please don't say that."
"Then don't leave." His hands framed her face. "Don't you dare fucking leave me."
"I have to."
He kissed her.
He neither asked for permission nor took her mouth gently. He kissed her like a drowning man seeking air, like a starving wolf finding meat. His tongue invaded her mouth while his body pressed her into the wall, and she tasted his desperation, his need, and his fury at almost losing her.
She tried to pull back, but he followed, deepening the kiss until her knees went weak. His hands slid into her wet hair, gripping tight enough to sting, angling her head so he could devour her properly.
"Stop," she gasped when he finally let her breathe. "This doesn't change anything."
He kissed her again, harder this time, teeth catching her lower lip. His hips pressed forward, and she felt his cock, thick and hard against her stomach.
"Gray, we can't do this."
"We can." His mouth moved to her throat, sucking hard enough to mark. "We will."
"This isn't—oh Gods—"
His hands found her breasts through her soaked shirt, thumbs circling her nipples through the fabric. The sensation shot straight between her legs, making her clench with the need she'd been fighting.
"I’ve been wanting this," he rumbled against her skin. "Been dying for it. For you."
"We shouldn't—"
"Fuck shouldn't." He ground his hips against hers, and even through their clothes, the friction made her moan. "Tell me to stop." His mouth found her ear. "Say the words and I will."
She couldn't speak. She was already wet, had been since he'd caged her against the wall.
"Can't, can you?" His hand slid down her stomach, fingers finding the button of her jeans. "Because your body knows the truth even if your mind won't accept it."
"Gray, please—"
"Please what?" He popped the button, lowered the zipper. "Please stop? Or please touch you?"
His fingers slipped inside her panties, finding her soaking wet, and they both groaned.
"Fuck, you're drenched." He circled her clit with his middle finger, making her hips buck. "Is this what you were going to run from?"
"I was trying to protect—ah!"
He pushed two fingers inside her, curling them just right. "You were trying to run from feeling. From wanting. From needing someone."
"That's not—oh Gods, right there—"
"Right here?" He worked her with his fingers while his thumb found her clit. "This what you need?"
"I need—I need—"
"Say it." He bit her earlobe. "Tell me."
"You," she gasped, her hips riding his hand. "I need you."
"All of me?"
"Yes, gods yes."
"Even the dangerous parts? Even knowing I'm a wolf who could snap? Or that you’re a witch whose magic has a mind of its own?”
"Yes!"
"Then why," he pulled his fingers out, making her whine, "were you running?"
Losing his touch momentarily cleared her head. "Because I can’t hurt you."
"And I couldn’t hurt you? My wolf could lose control and this would be over." His eyes were pure gold now. "But you're not running from me, are you? You're running from yourself."
"That's not what’s happening."