Chapter 19 #2
I’m not usually one to cower in situations like this, but he’s freaking me out. My eyes dart around him, looking at the stairs and hoping Hash will appear to rescue me. He has to be wondering where I am. It doesn’t take that long to grab a few bags.
Maybe this isn’t the best time to have this conversation. As I move to step around him to go find Hash myself, Trick moves with me, blocking my path.
Goosebumps pepper my skin. This is the first time in my life I’ve been truly afraid of what’s about to happen.
“By who?” Trick demands.
“Hash,” I answer slowly.
Who else would have invited me?
Trick’s nostrils flare as his eyes narrow.
“The only reason he invited you is to have a relationship with the son he just found out about, no thanks to you. Don’t for one second think he’s in this for you.
You’re just some pussy along the way. Anyone who keeps a child hidden from a parent is trash. ”
Emotions clog my throat as my chest aches.
“I didn’t keep him hidden,” I whisper.
“Really? Then explain to me how he wakes up one day and discovers he has a fucking kid.” Trick sneers.
“I know bitches like you. You were just buying your time until you could pop back up and use the kid to get whatever you want out of my brother. You say jump, and he says how high just so he can see his kid. Well, I’m not about to let you turn him into your bitch toy. ”
My eyes start to burn as my body trembles.
Why is he being so mean?
I’ve never asked Hash for money. I threw the money he tried to give me back at him. I haven’t asked him for anything.
Has Hash been saying these things about me to him behind my back?
“No response? Sucks getting called out for what you are, doesn’t it? Once a lying, conniving cunt, always a lying, conniving cunt. Count your days with that boy. He won’t be with you much longer.”
“What do you mean he won’t be with me much longer?” I ask, my voice barely audible from the fear that’s starting to paralyze me.
“Club’s got a good lawyer.”
My throat feels like it’s closing in.
I can’t breathe.
Hash wouldn’t try to take Cormac from me. He wouldn’t.
“Baby doll!” Hash yells, his voice coming closer as he walks toward the stairs, but my vision is blurry from the tears I’m fighting to keep at bay. “What’s taking so long?”
I can’t bring myself to tell him what’s keeping me. In fact, I can’t bring myself to say anything as I blink rapidly, wiping the corner of my eyes so Hash doesn’t see the evidence.
Trick steps to the side, giving me a clear view of Hash coming up the stairs with Cormac in his arms.
“What the fuck?” Hash says, his tone sounding angry as he reaches the top step, taking Trick and I in. “Why are you in her space?”
“I’m not, brother. I was just on the way to my room when she came out of yours. Thought I would introduce myself since I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting her this afternoon.”
My heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of my chest and fly away as Hash looks between us with his assessing gaze.
Forget a judge and jury.
The Dirty Devil MC men could have someone spilling their guts and admitting to the crime in under five minutes.
Trick’s gaze slides to me, daring me to tell Hash what he said just now.
I’m not going to be the one to start a fight between them the first time I’m meeting everyone. And it would be a fight.
“I got the bags.” I swallow as I hold them up. “I’m ready to go if you are.”
Hash studies me for a long moment, his eyes searching my face.
I wonder if he can see the distress that’s still pumping through my veins. I’ve never had a good poker face.
Hash must be okay with what he sees because he’s nodding his head as he moves toward me, placing a hand on the small of my back and pushing me forward. “Let’s go.”
I go down the stairs first with Hash bringing up the rear.
Inside the clubhouse is empty, and I’m grateful for that.
I’m not exactly in the talking mood.
The drive home is silent with Cormac passing out in his car seat as soon as we turned out of the driveway and onto the road. Hash has one hand on the wheel and one hand on my thigh the entire ride, but his body feels taut. The air feels stuffy with tension that isn’t coming from me.
“Are you okay?” I ask once we’re lying in bed.
Hash is lying next to me, but he might as well be back in his room. That’s how far apart it feels we are.
Hash didn’t say a word as he got Cormac out of the car and carried him inside. He didn’t say a word while Cormac ate or during bath time. It’s like he’s going through the motions.
He’s lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his hands clasped together on his chest. He side-eyes me but says nothing.
What in the hell did I do to him?
I did exactly what he wanted today. I met his family, which I felt went pretty well with the exception of the run-in with Trick.
“Did I do something?” I ask as I turn to lie on my side facing him, tucking my hands under my cheek.
Hash continues to stare at the ceiling, unmoving and silent.
Okay, this is getting ridiculous.
If he’s going to act like this, he can find somewhere else to sleep tonight.
Just as I open my mouth to tell him to explain what’s wrong or get the fuck out of my bed, his voice fills the room, low and edged with something I’ve never heard from him before.
It’s not lethal, like I’ve heard in the past. It’s more like he’s treading a thin line between annoyed and murdering someone with no questions asked if I say one wrong word.
Both bone-chilling at the least. “If I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly? No sugarcoating or downplaying.”
Thirty seconds ago I wasn’t afraid. I was pissed I was being ignored. But now he’s scaring me.
“Yeah…” I answer slowly, getting an uneasy feeling of where this is going.
“Why did it look like Trick was boxing you in in the hallway?”
Oh shit.
Something is telling me to tread very carefully with how I answer here.
“He just wanted to introduce himself before we left since I didn’t get a chance to formally meet him outside,” I say.
There.
That wasn’t a lie. Trick did say he wanted to introduce himself. I’m just not giving the full details, but I’m now downplaying.
Is omitting information downplaying?
“Now, baby doll,” Hash chastises. “Why did you just lie to me?”
I bring my knees up, curling them into my body on recoil at his tone.
“I didn’t lie. He did want to introduce himself.”
“But?” Hash presses.
“But he was boxing me in.”
“Why?”
“Why was he boxing me in?” I ask, trying to play dumb.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know,” I start off saying, but Hash’s narrowed eyes sliding to me makes me think twice. “He didn’t want me to leave without hearing what he had to say first.”
“And just what did he have to say?” Hash asks, his body eerily still.
I purse my lips together as I try to quickly think about how I’m going to handle this.
I was hoping I would have a chance to process what happened for at least twenty-four hours.
Then I would talk it over with Frankie to make sure I’m not being overdramatic (it happens more than you think) and then I planned on talking to Hash about it.
“Aisling,” Hash growls, losing patience.
An exhausted sigh leaves my lips. “He thinks I kept Cormac from you on purpose and that I have some ulterior motive for coming back into your life.”
“He said that?”
“In a roundabout way.”
“What else did he say, Aisling?”
The feelings I felt in the hallway when Trick was slaying me apart come back, getting stuck in my throat. It’s a possibility I don’t want to think about. I wouldn’t be able to live if my baby got taken away from me.
“He started off by saying that you only invited me today to have a relationship with Cormac and you didn’t actually want me.
Which is fine by the way. I would never use him against you just because you didn’t want to be with me.
I hope you know that.” I pause, trying to remember what else he said.
He came at me so fast that I felt like my brain short-circuited.
I’ve never had someone come at me like that before.
It’s scaring me that Hash still hasn’t said a word or butted in.
“Oh, and told me to count my days because the club has a good lawyer and Cormac wouldn’t be with me much longer.
He was going to make sure of it,” I whisper, spilling my guts.
I’m about to keep the tears out of my voice but not the fear. “Oh, and he called me a cunt.”
“What the fuck?” Hash hisses.
I bring my knees closer, hugging them to my chest as I search for comfort.
“You know it’s not true, right?” Hash asks, finally fully turning to look at me.
His eyes are full of rage.
“Which part?” I stupidly ask.
“Which part?” Hash asks in disbelief before losing it. “Fucking all of it! Jesus Christ, Aisling. Glad to know what you really think of me, babe. Better to know now than two years down the line.”
Hash throws the comforter off him and gets out of bed, pulling on his jeans, shirt, and cut.
“Where are you going?” I ask, my heart sinking.
My gut was telling me to lie, but my heart wasn’t in it. I should have listened to my gut, because in the end they always shoot the messenger.
“Got shit to do. I’ll catch you later.”
The tears I was keeping at bay spill over, trailing down my face. I feel like I’ve gone back in time to the night he left for good and cut me out of his life.
Except this time he’s not only walking out on me. He’s walking out on Cormac too.
“If you walk out that door again, this is done. You won’t be welcome back,” I tell him, finding my voice even though it comes out broken.