Chapter 6
Chapter Six
HARLAN
Sixteen Years Old
A nother day, another adoption, another feeling of not being good enough.
I watch as the twins, Lucille and Lucinda, are walked to the front door by their new parents. Maybe it’s because they’re young, and most adults don’t want to deal with raising older kids. Apparently, we’re too set in our ways.
I roll my eyes as they walk by me and give me a wave.
It’s the traditional going away walk and the first one I’ve participated in since I landed at this shit hole.
When Mrs. Jessop catches me, I plaster the biggest, fakest smile I can on my face and make a huge show of waving back at the girls. They’re seven years old, have been here for only a few weeks, and seem to have broken out faster than any other kid who came here.
A layover to a new life.
I guess I’m kind of jealous in a way.
I want a new life, too.
Though I know my ideas have to be way different than any other of the lemmings here, I know that I’d do just fine outside of these walls without a family. Besides, I think as I glance down the hall and let my eyes rest on Karter, I can’t leave while she’s still stuck here.
I snicker when I see the bored look on her face, causing Mrs. Jessop to stop short and turn around to glare at me. Jasper nudges me with a frantic look in his eyes and jerks his head imperceptibly in her direction.
Even though I wouldn’t consider us friends, in any sense of the word, one of us making her look bad on the honorary walk out of here gets us all in trouble.
I press my fist to my mouth and fake a cough a few times, feigning having a scratchy throat. She nods, tilts her nose up, then continues walking the twins toward the front door of the home.
“That was close,” Jasper says under his breath as he leans toward me and grins.
“Fuck off. And don’t ever touch me again unless you want me to beat the shit out of you,” I snarl at him as I take it upon myself to disband the group of lemmings watching the twins disappear outside.
As I walk by Karter, I glance down at her and nod. In response, she rubs her forehead with a hand, extending her middle finger.
I grin.
Karter has always made my blood boil in both good and bad ways. And her sweet, little flirtations have made it easier for me to stick it out here and wait for her.
Whether she knows it or not, the only reason I almost make a scene when these weird people come looking for kids—because either Mom is dried up or Dad can’t get hard—is because I won’t leave her behind.
In the past year, she seems to have given up on seeing her bestie again, too. It’s been interesting and inspiring to watch her grow into her own person without that Enya girl around. She spent two years being sad about it, and just recently, she’s started to busy herself with trying out different things and becoming her own person.
In a weird way, I’m kind of proud of her.
Maybe she finally realizes that she doesn’t need someone to be a great person; that being alone isn’t a weakness, but a strength that can mold her into something so much more than she ever knew she could be.
Even though she keeps me at bay physically, emotionally I can tell that I’m finally starting to force cracks in that armor of hers.
I’m almost all the way back to my bedroom door when I feel a tug on the back of my shirt. I grind my teeth instantly as I come to an abrupt stop, turn, and glare at whoever the hell thought it would be a good idea to keep me from blocking out the rest of the bullshit celebration.
And then I arch an eyebrow and smirk.
I look down at Karter, who’s looking up at me uncertainly. She tucks her hair behind her ears, begins to fidget with her hands, before placing them on her hips.
“Wanna go outside?” she asks, uneasily.
“What?”
The shock in my tone is obvious enough that her cheeks turn a slight shade of pink, but she does her best to brush it off and asks again, “Do you want to go outside?”
“Hm.”
The obvious answer would be yes, although, I have a feeling she’s expecting me to brush her off.
“Maybe,” I finally reply coyly. “Why?”
“Forget it,” she grumbles as her hands drop to her sides. I watch as Karter’s shoulders slump a little when she turns to walk away.
Don’t let her leave like this. Reaching forward, I grip her elbow and give her a gentle tug back toward me.
“Tell me why,” I repeat, my smirk melting away. I do my best to not feel triumphant because I think that after all of these years, the next heart she draws on a rainy pane of glass might be because she’s thinking of me.
“I don’t want to be here inside right now,” she says quietly as she wrings her elbow out of my grip. “I can’t fake being happy just for the sake of not getting on Jessop’s bad side.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I get it. Come on. I know how to get outside without her seeing it.”
I beckon for Karter to follow me as I push the door open to my room, holding the door open for her. Once inside, she glances around curiously, then blushes when she notices that I’m watching her. I’m interested in what it is that she thinks she’ll find in here, but my room is just as normal as the next kid’s.
At least, I like to think it is.
Fuck.
I move by her quickly, snatch the porn magazines off my bed, hoping she hasn’t seen them yet, then lift my mattress and toss them under. When I turn to look at Karter, she rolls her eyes and shakes her head, a smile on those beautiful, pouty lips of hers.
God, they look so fucking soft.
I stand here staring at her mouth, almost as if completely fucking hypnotized by the shape of her lips.
“Um, Harlan?”
I look away from her, hoping she doesn’t notice how flushed I’ve become, motioning for her to follow me to the window. I push it open and rest my hands on the sill, leaning out to glance around. When I don’t see signs of anyone that might open their trap, I turn slightly and hold a hand out toward her.
“Ladies first,” I say as I help her onto the sill.
Karter gives me an odd look before she purses her lips, let’s out a sigh, then allows me to help get her outside.
Weird.
Feeling that it’s best to brush off the way she looked at me, I shrug and hoist myself on the sill. She’s looking up at me, dusting off the knees of her jeans, and I wave her out of the way.
Gentleman second, I tell myself as I hop out and land on the grass below.