Chapter 3
Maybe Gamps can call Ms. Rivers and convince her to let us switch seatmates. He claims he’s really good at convincing people to do things and says the trick is to make them think it was their idea.
I don’t know if I believe him though. Because when I tried to make him think that he thought that I shouldn’t help him clean Maxwell’s ginormous cage (so. much. bird poop.) I somehow ended up offering to do it for the rest of the week.
Fun fact: African gray parrots poop twenty times per day on average, which might seem like a lot, and that’s because it is.
“Wait. Wait. Wait… What’s happening?”
I placed my empty shot glass down with measured calm. “I’m going to poison him.”
Rachel pushed a hand through her silky red hair, ignoring my declaration as though she didn’t think I’d really do it. Bless her heart.
“I can’t believe he’s back,” she muttered, slumping a little as her eyes zoned out. “Or I guess he’s always been here, somewhere, but you know what I mean.”
I bit into another lime and signaled our waiter for two more shots. I didn’t care how much the bill would be. I’d call my accountant tomorrow and withdraw enough cash to carry me through the next few months.
Who the fuck cared anymore.
“Wait.” Her spine snapped straight again. “Just to be extra clear, you’re not seriously considering this, correct?”
“What kind of idiot gives his lifelong nemesis full access to his home?”
My god. What a clown.
I was going to wash his dishes with toilet water.
“You know what, Rach? I don’t think he’s as smart as everyone says he is. He’s good with numbers, but he’s got the social intelligence of a flat tire.”
“So you are considering it.”
I patted her cheek and almost lost my balance in the process. The tequila had started sloshing in my brain. It was sloshing so good. “You’re such a sweet, kind best friend, Rachy Rach. I fucking love you so much.”
Her mouth flattened into a stiff smile. “You know what you and I should do?”
“Commit arson?” We could. We just needed to make sure he was inside the property first.
She blinked at me, a little horrified. “It scares me that I can’t tell whether or not you’re joking anymore.”
My eyes rolled. “Please. Like he’d hesitate before setting my house on fire.”
She scootched closer. “Let’s go on a girls’ trip, just you and me.”
“You’re really not thinking this through,” I argued. The possibilities were endless. I could torture him a thousand different ways if I had the keys to his house.
“I’m not thinking this through?” Her head snapped forward, utterly appalled by my take.
“You’re a literal heiress, set to inherit billions of dollars.
Yet you’re somehow sitting here, seriously considering taking a job as a…
a costume housemaid—whatever that is—from someone who’s unpredictable, angry, and wants nothing more than to humiliate you, and I’m not thinking this through? ”
“I think the costume housemaid title is pretty self-explanatory.”
“Is it? Because I still don’t know if it means he wants you to dress up as a housemaid and do god-knows-what, or actually be his housemaid, dressed up as god-knows-what.”
“The second, based on the job description.”
“This is so fucking weird, Alice. How aren’t you seeing it?”
I saw it.
I did.
I knew how ridiculous and absurd this all seemed. But the thought of letting him get away with everything he’d done made my soul curdle.
Rachel grabbed my face, forcing me to look into her bright brown eyes.
“Okay. Listen. Literally just listen to yourself and what you’re saying and try to view it from a rational outsider’s perspective,” she said slowly.
“I don’t know what it is about him, but I swear it’s like whenever he gets involved, your ability to see any logic or reason gets shut off.
You turn into this… this… whatever this is.
” She gestured vaguely at my face and torso.
“You get trapped in this… blinding vortex of obsessive competition and venom with him, and it’s not healthy, Alice. ”
She dropped her hands with a tired sigh, her voice softer when she continued.
“Dominic and Rosie leaving was a good thing, even if you couldn’t necessarily see it in the beginning.
You’ve matured, you’ve had years of peace…
why would you want to go back, knowing it would only make you more angry, more miserable?
If you engage, he’s never going to let this go.
But if you ignore him, he might leave for good.
And that’s what you want, right? It’s what you’ve always wanted.
Him gone from your life.” She paused, a tinge of something resembling dread skimming over her eyes.
“The two of you are poison when you’re together, Alice. It’s really hard to watch.”
Her words seeped into my veins, extinguishing the flames that had been tearing through them since I’d stormed out of Cory’s office two hours ago.
“Am I wrong?” she asked gently, placing a comforting hand over my upper arm.
I shook my head, my mouth too dry to speak.
No. She wasn’t wrong. This probably wasn’t very healthy. It didn’t make sense for me to take the job just to get revenge on him and feed the… the all-consuming vortex.
“So… you’re not gonna do it?” she asked hopefully.
I hesitated before managing a small “no.”
Her shoulders sagged with relief. She let me go. “Phew. Okay.”
I attempted a smile, but it felt forced.
“And we’re good? You and me?” she asked.
“Always.” How could I be mad at her for being honest and looking out for me? I’d have done the same thing.
“Perfect.” She shoved her phone into her purse. “I’ve got a client event tonight, so I have to go.”
What? “Seriously? But—”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t say anything because you sounded upset when you called, so I told them I’d be late. I wanted you to have the time and space you needed to get everything out.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek, guilt unfurling in my stomach. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s not a big deal. This was more important.” She placed enough cash on the table to cover the full bill and patted my hand. “We’ll chat later this week, okay?”
She was out of her seat and weaving through the chattering tables just in time for our waiter to arrive with a fresh round of shots and the wings I’d forgotten we’d ordered. “Here you go. Anything else I can get for ya?”
“Just the bill, please.”
“Sure thing. Did you want that all together or separate?”
“Together is fine.”
I took out my card and tucked Rachel’s cash into my purse. I’d give it back to her tomorrow—penance for lying, since I wasn’t going to let the Dominic thing go.
Not this time.