Chapter 31
Alice
It was well past midnight, and I was still awake, blankly staring at the flat, white ceiling of my bedroom.
“It’s his turn.”
My phone was resting beside me on the bed, fully charged, ringer on.
The mini spa day had worked wonders on getting my mind off things for a bit (even though Gampy had ditched us midway through the manicures with a grumbled, inaudible excuse), but then I’d come home.
And I didn’t have the constant chattering of Jamie and Ria to keep me distracted anymore. And it was torture.
This room would forever be tainted by what Dominic and I had done last night. I was fooling myself if I thought I could ever sleep in this bed again, or even look at it, without reliving every excruciating moment. And every time I did think about it, I started to spiral.
Massaging my eyes with the base of my palms, I let out a resigned sigh, grabbed my pillow, and decided I’d try the guest bedroom.
He clearly wasn’t going to text me tonight, because he clearly wasn’t obsessing over this whole thing like I was.
So what was the point of lying here, longing for a morsel of his attention like some sad, lovesick fool?
How much more pathetic was I going to allow him to make me feel?
CRRRRK.
My train of thought abruptly cut off. I stopped in my tracks, half turning back to face my open bedroom door, pillow clutched to my hip.
CRRRRK.
That time, I hadn’t imagined it. The static-fused crackle was followed by a short, deep rumble that made me scurry back into the room and stop short in front of my closet.
CRRRRKKK.
What the hell?
I tossed the door open, my heart racing. There was something incredibly familiar and nostalgic about the sound. It almost reminded me of the—
CRRRRK. “…ome in…”
No way.
I dropped my pillow, flicked on the lights, and stepped into the depths of the clothing-lined tunnel. Shoving aside a small lineup of unpacked boxes filled with garments and shoes I couldn’t recall purchasing, I crouched over a small, forgotten one tucked in the very back corner. CRRRK. “…ou ’opy?”
I lifted the lid with trembling fingers, my heart hammering against my ribs. Lying underneath an assortment of Christmas, birthday, and Valentine’s Day cards and undelivered letters was a small, yellow walkie-talkie.
CRRRK. “Sad Clown to Loch Ness, do you copy? Over.”
My heart dropped, then swooped and soared. I let out a long, unsteady breath as a razor-sharp pang tore through my heart.
Two hundred and fourteen.
That’s how many nights I’d slept with this thing clutched to my chest, hoping to hear those exact words.
CRRRK. “Loch Ness, are you there? Over.”
Clearing the loose, wobbly marble in my throat, I pressed the button. “Dom?”
CRRRK. “Oh, good, you’re awake.”
“It’s… isn’t it, like, almost one in the morning?”
CRRRK. “Yeah, I can’t sleep either.”
“Why are you contacting me on here?”
CRRRK. “I assumed you blocked my number after the shit I pulled this morning. Thought I’d have better luck reaching you through here.”
“I… um, was trying to sleep,” I responded, not knowing what the hell else to say.
CRRRK. “That never stopped us before.”
I blinked down at the device, speechless.
CRRRK. “Alice?”
“Yeah?”
“You stole my hoodie.”
He might as well have aimed a blowtorch directly at my face for how quickly it flamed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You swapped it for the replica, thinking I wouldn’t notice. Almost got away with it, too. The tiny nick on the hood and overwashing to fade out the blue was a nice touch, but you forgot one major detail.”
I kept my mouth shut. Asking the question nipping at my tongue was on par with confessing.
Still, it was bugging the hell out of me. I’d been so careful—had gone as far as to check the labels to make sure they’d matched.
“Do you want to guess, or should I just tell you?”
“There isn’t anything to guess. I didn’t take your hoodie.”
“Okay, then I’ll just say it. Turns out you missed a spot, and I’m deathly allergic to poison ivy.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “How fortunate that you didn’t get any on you while handling the bouquet of dead roses you left for me.”
“Isn’t it? Even the smallest trace of the stuff can put me in a coffin, apparently.”
“Is that where you’re walkie-talkie-ing in from?”
The speaker crinkled with a sigh. “Yeah, they wouldn’t let me take my phone with me. Turns out eternal damnation doesn’t include a network connection. I’d clean up my act now if I were you, before it’s too late. Get all your confessions out of the way. Return any items you may have stolen.”
I bit my cheek, taking a seat on the carpet and settling back against a wall. “I’m not giving it back.”
“Okay. Fine. Then come fix this one.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“It doesn’t smell like you.”
My heart burst, sending butterflies and confetti flying everywhere. “What, like right now?”
“Yes.”
“It’s almost one,” I said again. “Can it wait ’til tomorrow? I’m tired and don’t really feel like going anywhere right now.”
“I’ll come to you.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time you rose from the dead, I guess.”
“That’s what happens when you’ve got this much unfinished business buried underneath two lifetimes’ worth of regret.”
I sat with that for a minute, toying with the loose thread poking out of my shorts. “That’s a lot of regret for someone still in their twenties.”
We sat in silence for a while, a million unspoken words hanging between us.
Then, “I’m sorry.”
The wriggly marble was back, rattling around my swelling throat. “For what?”
“Everything. I’m really, really sorry, Alice.”
Tugging the thread free, I tossed it aside. “What was in that box?”
“It’s at my place. You can come take a look whenever you’d like.”
“Gampy told me he filled it with garbage.”
“That he did.”
I gnawed the inside of my lip, my hands itching to rip something else. “Was the walkie-talkie in it?”
“No.”
“You had it with you, then?”
“It was boxed up with… some other things, but yeah.”
I nodded down at my lap, annoyed at my eyes when they started to sting.
“I didn’t hear you,” he said softly. “If you ever tried to reach me through here, just know I didn’t hear it.”
“You didn’t get the phone calls either, right?
” I asked, the slight bitterness in my tone undermined by its unsteadiness.
“I know the letters we sent to what we thought was your new address were all returned to sender, and the emails and texts bounced, so I’m assuming you just…
blocked all our numbers before you were even out the door. ”
There was a long pause on his end. “Like I said, two lifetimes’ worth of regret.”
I laughed because the alternative was to argue and sob, and I really wasn’t in the mood. “Are you almost here? I’m tired.”
“In the elevator.”
I pushed up to my feet. “Okay, and what am I supposed to do? Spray my perfume on it?”
“Something like that.”
I picked up my go-to scent and trudged out of my bedroom just as he knocked. But when I opened the door, no one was there.
“What’s this?” I asked through the walkie-talkie, my forehead rising at the path of rose petals leading down the hall.
“They wouldn’t let me do candles. Something about a fire hazard and needing permission from the building owners…”
“We’re the building owners. My family owns this entire thing.”
“And I’m sure your brother would’ve loved to receive that call today.”
“Good point.” I stuffed my feet into a pair of sandals. “And not to be critical, but why are you Grand Gesturing in the middle of the night instead of, I don’t know, literally any other time of day?”
His warm, self-deprecating chuckle fizzed through the device. “Can you at least pretend like you’re pleasantly surprised?”
“I’m not not pleasantly surprised. But I’m also sleepy, and— Wait, what’s the dress code?”
“You’re perfectly fine in whatever it is you’re wearing. Just follow the petals.”
“Are other people going to be there?” Because I wasn’t wearing a bra.
Though I guess it wasn’t a big deal. Fuck the patriarchy.
“Yes, but I promise none of them will care about what you’re wearing and vice versa. Are you at the elevators yet? How long is this hallway?”
“I’m here. Am I supposed to read the note that’s taped to it? Or not yet?”
“Yes, but press the button first.”
A small smile toyed at my lips as I reached for the folded papers. “So glad I’ve got you on the line giving me instructions.”
“All that sarcasm and you’re still opening the pages before pressing the button.”
Oh. Oops. “Wait, up or down?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
The doors to the elevator behind me slid open as soon as the button lit up, and I turned around to find it brimming with red roses. They were spilling out of the giant stone flower urns, adorning every wall and every corner, and covering all the buttons with one exception: the roof.
“Pretty,” I said.
“Thanks.”
“The compliment was meant for whoever actually did the decoration.”
“I’ll be sure to pass it on,” he said, the warmth of a smile apparent in his tone. I unfolded the cream-colored papers, noting the jagged rip that marred their left sides.
And almost dropped the walkie-talkie.
The recognition was immediate, and it hit with a warm pang. I would’ve recognized the clumsy chicken-scratch handwriting anywhere, given how many times I’d tried to decipher it in subtle peeks during an exam.
Holding my breath, I started reading.
Dear me/ journal/ god.
Today was a really bad day.
We had to do presentations on superpowers and it didn’t go so good for me.
Loch Ness chose mind control for hers and everyone seemed to really like that even though I know she only wants it so she can make me do embarrassing stuff like pick my nose in front of the whole class or something.
She even looked at me a bunch of times and kept grinning real wide like she was imagining the possibilities.
She’s so scary.
My stomach feels fuzzy from fear and stuff whenever I see her.
Anyways I chose flying because then I could go and visit my dad.
I’ve never met him, but Mom says he loves me a lot and watches all my soccer games from the sky.
My friend Peter thinks she’s lying but Mom isn’t a liar and Gampy confirmed it anyways when I asked him and he knows everything so I know it’s true.
I’m thinking that if I could fly then I could just take a picture with my dad and prove it to Peter.
Also it would be cool to see him too and maybe we could talk and stuff.
I know he didn’t leave on purpose but sometimes I miss him so much that it makes me really sad even though I don’t think you’re supposed to miss someone you’ve never met.
Usually I can handle it though because I’m really tough, even Adrien says so and you can ask him if you want.
But this time was different.
Troy started it. He doesn’t like me very much because my mom is a housekeeper for Mr. and Mrs. Cloutier, so she cleans their toilets and stuff and he says she’s dirty and has poop on her even though I’ve said so many times it’s not true.
He won’t even stand next to me or anything because he says he can smell it and keeps flapping his hand in front of his nose whenever I walk by and sometimes the other kids laugh too.
Anyways he raised his hand before I was even halfway done with my presentation and said really loudly in front of the whole class that my dad wasn’t waiting for me anywhere because he was in the ground and probably already eaten by maggots and worms.
Ms. Rivers got really mad at him but he accused me of spreading misinformation and said he was going to tell his parents. Then Loch Ness told him to shut his stupid mouth and threatened to stuff it with maggots if he didn’t and Ms. Rivers sent them both to the principal’s office.
I tried going back to reading off my typed notes but it felt like there was this giant humongous bowling ball in my chest and it kept getting bigger and bigger until I couldn’t talk anymore.
I couldn’t even see any of the words. I just dropped my papers and ran out of the class and locked myself in one of the bathroom stalls.
A couple of teachers came to check on me but I didn’t want to talk to anyone at all so I just kept the door closed and asked them to please leave me alone.
One of them said the office people had called my mom to come pick me up and a few minutes after he left I saw a pair of bright yellow shoes stop in front of my stall.
I don’t know how Loch Ness escaped the principal’s office so quickly or if she even went but I didn’t really have time to ask. She started crawling under the door before I could say anything, even though this was the boy’s bathroom.
She doesn’t care about rules as much as I do though.
She’s really tough too. Maybe not as tough as Adrien I don’t think, but tougher than me even though I don’t really like admitting it.
She isn’t scared of bugs like I am and she wouldn’t have cried if Troy said something mean to her.
She would just tell him to shove it and then carry on like nothing happened.
I wiped my face really quickly before she could stand up and see and asked her what she was doing there.
Then she did something that made everything a bajillion times worse. Out of nowhere she randomly just hugged me!!
It was the weirdest hug ever. It made me feel like I wasn’t even standing on the floor anymore.
Then she told me that Troy’s head was filled with maggots and to never listen to anything he said but the whole time all I could think about was whether she knew she smelled like caramel frosting and sugar sticks.
I couldn’t even talk or move. By the time I finally got my arms working again to maybe hug her back the hug was over and she was gripping my shoulders and looking at me with that angry stubborn expression she sometimes gets when I annoy her.
Then she said “I know what we’re doing for our invention project.”
I still couldn’t talk yet, so I just stared at her like some sort of moron.
“You remember when we watched the trailer for that movie with the old man and the kid and the house with the balloons?”
So anyways we’re going to pool our allowances together and buy a kiddie pool and ten thousand balloons worth of helium. That’s what Loch Ness told me after she grabbed my hand and marched us out of the bathroom so we could wait outside for my mom.
Stay tuned.
“It’s not ten thousand balloons or a kiddie pool, but I figured you’d still enjoy the ride.”
My chest had expanded so wide, my throat constricted so tight, that I stood no chance at stringing together a coherent response. The only thing I could do was look up at where he was standing, just outside the open elevator doors, holding a bouquet of crimson roses.
Behind him, tethered to the roof of my apartment building, was a giant, fire-breathing hot-air balloon.