Chapter 47 She’s Not on My Clock （Made You Look）
KADE
I crash into the chair across from Cal’s desk like my legs just gave out, which isn’t far from the truth. The entire week has been a special kind of torture, watching Amanda navigate around me like I’m a particularly rabid raccoon she needs to avoid at all costs.
“I don’t know that this is gonna work, man,” I say, dragging my hands down my face. “She won’t even look at me. Every time I walk into a room, she finds an excuse to leave. I’m pretty sure she took the stairs just to avoid being in an elevator with me. And in four-inch heels.”
Cal doesn’t look up from his computer screen, fingers flying over the keyboard as he monitors whatever security feeds keep this place running. “It’s been a week. What did you expect, for her to just come running into your arms?”
“No, but I thought maybe she’d at least acknowledge my existence beyond a thirty-second hallway encounter where she looked at me like I was a serial killer who’d just escaped from prison.”
“You did lie to her for weeks while pretending to be her AI boyfriend,” Cal points out helpfully, still not looking away from his screens. “Some might argue that’s serial killer–adjacent behavior.”
“Thanks for the pep talk. Really feeling the support here.”
I slump deeper into the chair, letting my head fall back as I stare at the ceiling. The fluorescent lights are giving me a headache, or maybe that’s just the stress of watching the woman I love treat me like I’m radioactive.
“She avoided the break room when I was getting coffee,” I continue, because apparently, I’m in full pathetic mode now.
“Literally turned around and walked the other direction when she saw me near the vending machines. And don’t even get me started on the way she practically sprinted past the security office when she thought I might be in here. ”
“Mmm,” Cal hums noncommittally, clicking through something on his monitor.
“I tried to help her with that display she was struggling with—you know, the one with all the handbags that kept falling over? She looked at me like I’d offered to help her bury a body.”
“Pretty sure wood chipper is more Amanda’s style.”
“I said, ‘Need a hand?’ And she said, ‘I’m fine,’ in a please-die-in-a-fire tone.”
I run my hands through my hair, feeling more frustrated by the minute.
This isn’t how I imagined the job going.
When Cal first suggested this whole intern scheme, I thought maybe having regular contact with Amanda would help us find some kind of middle ground.
Instead, I feel like I’m chasing a ghost through the halls of an upscale department store.
“She used to light up when she saw me,” I say quietly.
“Even as Chad, even when she was trying to play it cool, I could see it in her eyes. The way her whole face would change when I texted her, like I was the best part of her day. Now she looks at me like I’m the worst part of her entire existence. ”
Cal finally stops what he’s doing and turns to face me fully, leaning back in his chair with that insufferably calm expression he always wears. “You’re going to need to give it time.”
“I’ve given it eight years. I’m tired of waiting.”
“Yeah, well, tough shit. She’s not on your clock. You’re on hers.”
I slump forward, my elbows on my knees. “Even if I do give her all the time in the world, what’s it going to matter if she makes it her job to actively avoid me?”
Cal’s expression shifts slightly. “Well, I’m not saying to strategically place yourself in her path and just happen to be around, but… we do work security. So maybe you just happen to know where she is at all times and happen to be there.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You’re cool with that? That sounds dangerously close to actual stalking.”
“I gave you access to my security cameras so you could watch her, and I got you a ‘job’ here so you could try to win her back. That’s where you think I’d draw the line?”
He has a point. Cal’s been surprisingly supportive of this whole operation from the beginning, even going so far as to create an entirely fictional position just to get me in the building. I’m starting to think the man has a romantic streak he doesn’t like to advertise.
“Besides,” he continues, pulling up what looks like Amanda’s schedule on his screen, “she’s got that fitting with Gerald Finley scheduled. A pharmaceutical heir with wandering hands and an attitude problem.”
I don’t like Cal’s description. “What about him?”
“Nothing I can’t handle. But Amanda specifically requested that I be nearby during the appointment, which tells me everything I need to know about how comfortable she is with the guy.”
“Has he—” I start to ask, but Cal cuts me off.
“Nothing actionable. Yet. But he’s the type who thinks money gives him certain privileges, and Amanda’s the type who’ll knee him in the balls if he pushes too hard. Which would be satisfying to watch but probably bad for business.”
I feel my hands clench into fists before I can stop myself. The thought of some entitled asshole putting his hands on Amanda makes me want to commit acts of violence that would definitely get me fired from my fake internship.
“Easy, killer,” Cal says, noticing my reaction. “She can handle herself.”
“Still,” I mutter, “maybe I should be there, too. You know, for backup.”
“See? Now you’re thinking like a man with a plan instead of a man with a death wish.”
I laugh despite myself. “Is that your professional assessment?”
“That’s my assessment as someone who’s watched you mope around my office for the last week like a lovesick teenager.” Cal turns back to his screens, pulling up what looks like the building’s entire surveillance network. “You want to know what I think your real problem is?”
“Enlighten me.”
“You need to date her.”
I blink at him. “Huh?”
“You married her after a drunken concert in Vegas. You were together for one month, and then you came back as some mysterious guy who may or may not have been artificial intelligence. Nothing about your relationship except the love has been real. So give her something to sink her nails into. Make her feel something real. Stop trying to re-create the past, and start building something new.”
Fuck. He’s right, of course. I’ve been so focused on getting back what we had that I haven’t really considered what we could have now. Amanda isn’t the wide-eyed twenty-one-year-old who married me in Vegas. She’s a successful, independent woman who’s built a life without me.
“Shit, that’s not bad advice.”
“I have my moments.”
“So what, I just… ask her out? ‘Hey, Amanda, I know I destroyed your ability to trust anyone, but want to grab dinner?’ ”
“That’s one approach. A terrible one, but an approach.”
“Why are you being so cool about all this?” I ask, genuinely curious. “Most people would tell me to leave her alone and let her move on.”
Cal’s expression softens slightly, and for a moment he looks less like the intimidating head of security and more like a man who understands complicated relationships.
“Because I know what you’re going through. I know your intentions are good, and I think Amanda needs you. She’s my wife’s best friend, which makes her under my care, too. And watching her try to convince everyone she’s fine when she’s clearly falling apart isn’t working for anyone.”
He pauses, his fingers stilling on the keyboard.
“But mostly because I’ve been where you are. I’ve been the guy who had to earn back the trust of the woman he loves after betraying it completely.”
“Thank you,” I say, and I mean it. “Seriously. For all of this. I know you didn’t have to—”
“Don’t look now,” Cal interrupts, his eyes flicking to his monitor, “but she’s about to leave the office. Elevator bank. Maybe she needs a ride home.”
I’m out of my chair before he finishes the sentence. “You’re a good man, Cal Knight.”
“Tell that to Amanda when she finds out I’ve been enabling your romantic stalking habits. Pretty sure I’m on her wood chipper list. Just not sure how far down.”
I’m already halfway to the door. This is it. This is my chance to start over, to do this right. No games, no elaborate schemes, no carefully orchestrated encounters. Just me, offering her a ride home like a normal person would.
“Will do,” I call over my shoulder as I run out of Cal’s office.
Time to find out if Amanda Bennett is ready to be courted properly.