Chapter 17
SEBASTIAN
Icouldn’t pull my hand away. It was like touching a live wire. I couldn’t drop it. I didn’t want to. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was getting hit with a jolt of juice. Heat raced through me, and I didn’t want it to stop. My body hummed with pleasure and need.
She didn’t pull away either.
That was the thing that got me. She didn’t jerk back or make some excuse to move. She just sat there in the darkness, my hand on her arm, both of us pretending it was normal. Casual. Just two colleagues having a conversation on a porch during a power outage.
With my hand on her arm.
Except it wasn’t casual. Nothing about this felt casual.
I should kiss her, I thought. Right now. In the darkness with the wild storm raging just inches away. It’s that wild, carnal kind of thing that I’m typically drawn to, which makes no sense why her buttoned-up self gets me so fucking hard.
Eventually, she slowly pulled her arm back. Not jerking it away like it bothered her or like she was trying to escape. If anything, she let it linger. Like she’d been considering the same thing I was considering and had decided against it.
Or maybe I was reading too much into everything. Maybe she was just moving her arm and I was a desperate idiot looking for signs that weren’t there. The woman had me twisted up.
I eased back in my chair, putting a few more inches of space between us, and tried to get my brain working again instead of just obsessing over the ghost of her warmth. I had flashes of images of her in various stages of undress.
And it was making me hard.
“So,” I said, trying to distract myself. “Is it difficult? Working for your father?”
She sighed. “Yes. It adds a lot of pressure. Just like you were saying about working in your family’s company.
Everything I do reflects on him and the company and he does not let me forget it.
Being out here is already overwhelming. Sending me into the field isn’t normal procedure.
I usually work from the office, reviewing documentation and writing policies.
” She paused and looked into the dark night. “I’m not good at the people part.”
“You did pretty great today with the Safety Bingo.”
“That’s different. I’ve never been this far from home without family. Never been on-site as the ‘bad cop’ like this. I don’t know how to be firm about safety without making everyone hate me.”
The vulnerability in her admission hit me right in the chest. I felt like such a dick for being cold to her at first. I had let myself forget she was a human with real feelings.
“For what it’s worth,” I said, “I don’t think anyone hates you anymore. You won them over today. And I’m sorry for my role in that.”
“Some of them, maybe. Others are still waiting for me to screw up so they can say I told you so. Or run to you and remind you why you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“I have a lot of pressure on me and I took out my frustration on you.”
“I get it,” she said with a sigh.
“This is my first time being fully in charge,” I said.
She knew it already, but I felt like I really needed her to understand I wasn’t the asshole.
Maybe I was, but I didn’t want her to think I was only an asshole.
“Usually I just show up to shoots, look pretty, do what the photographers tell me, go home. I’ve never had to run an entire production before.
Never had to make all the decisions and deal with all the personalities and keep everything on track.
I know what has to be done and I’ve done a lot of directing, but to be the guy that’s in charge, the one responsible?
That’s new. That’s a lot. Usually, if something goes wrong, I just point at the other guy. Now, I’m that guy.”
“But you’re doing well.”
“Am I? Because it feels like I’m barely keeping my head above water. My brothers all think I’m going to screw this up. They’re just waiting for me to prove them right.”
“Why do they think that?”
I laughed, but it came out bitter. “Like I said, I’m the pretty one.
The airhead model. Adrian went to business school, runs the company.
Briggs went to law school, handles all our legal stuff.
Even Dash, who’s the black sheep, at least has logistics expertise.
Me? I chose modeling because I liked the attention and the travel and not having to think too hard about anything. ”
“That’s not fair.”
“Maybe not. But it’s what they see.” I ran a hand through my damp hair. I felt like a big crybaby. No one cried for the prince.
“So this shoot is your chance to prove you’re more than that,” she said, understanding in her voice.
“Exactly. This is my shot to show everyone I can handle a big project. I’m not just a pretty face with decent abs and a questionable relationship history.”
“Hey, for what it’s worth, you’ve impressed me.”
I turned to look at her, even though I could barely see her face in the darkness. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You listen. You adapt. You care about getting it right. That’s more than a lot of people in your position would do. I know we’ve had our differences, but I think you’re trying.”
That meant more than it should, coming from a total stranger. It meant a lot because I knew how high her standards were. If she was telling me I was doing something right, I knew she meant it.
I couldn’t remember when any woman had ever made me feel truly seen. Not just the body.
Me.
I felt something I had never really felt before. Lust and desire, sure. But it was more of a need. Like my body and brain would not be satisfied with just anybody—it had to be her.
Fuck it.
I leaned in and kissed her.
For a second, she went completely still. Frozen. Like her brain was trying to process what was happening and couldn’t quite get there.
Oh shit. I misread everything. I was an idiot. I was about to get slapped or fired or kicked in the balls. Thank God I was sitting down.
But then she kissed me back. And holy shit, there was a spitfire hiding under that buttoned-up exterior. I needed better access. I got out of my chair and pulled her up with me. She leaned into it.
Before I knew it, I had her pushed up against the railing along the porch. My lower body pinned her while one hand found her waist and the other cupped the back of her neck. She made a small sound—not quite a moan but close—and it went straight to my groin.
The rain pounded down around us and the sound of thunder was loud enough that I felt it in my chest, but I didn’t care.
All I cared about was the way she tasted and the way her hot little body felt pushed up against mine.
Her fingers had found their way into my hair and were gripping tight enough to hurt in the best possible way.
My hand slid from her waist to her hip, pulling her closer.
She arched into me, rubbing herself against my very obvious erection.
It was my turn to groan into her mouth. It was everything I’d been thinking about since that day at the workshop when she’d emerged in that sundress.
Everything about the woman was absolutely maddening and it was impossible to stop thinking about her.
Bernadette’s hands roamed over my shoulders, down my chest. I caught her lower lip between my teeth and gently pulled. I was testing the boundaries. When she gasped and dug her nails into my chest through the damp fabric, I saw green—as in a green light to keep going.
We were heading into second base territory.
It was over-the-clothes touching but it was so damn good.
It was making me want to rip those clothes off and see where things could go.
But some part of my brain knew we should slow down.
We were on a porch. In the rain. Where anyone could see us if the power came back on.
But god, I didn’t want to stop. My hand had just found the hem of her shirt, fingers skimming the skin of her lower back. She moaned into my mouth.
My fingers danced across her skin until the pad of my thumb rubbed across the satin fabric of her bra. I felt her nipples straining and couldn’t resist rubbing my thumb just a little harder against it.
She bit my lip in an act of pure desire.
I had suspected she would be responsive, but nothing could have prepared me for the way she was trying to devour me. My tongue slashed against hers with my thumb rubbing against her nipple through the fabric.
I needed more. I needed contact.
I moved to slip my finger under the bra when the door behind me burst open.
“Hey, is the power out? I just woke up and—oh, shit! Am I interrupting?”
Annika.
We sprang apart like we’d been struck by lightning. I stumbled backward, nearly tripping over a chair. Bernadette’s hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide.
Annika stood in the doorway, wrapped in her robe, her expression shifting from confusion to shock to absolute delight in about three seconds flat. A huge grin spread across her face.
“I have to go,” I said quickly. “I mean there’s a call I have to make.”
“Smooth,” Annika said, still grinning.
“Good night.” I grabbed my umbrella and headed down the porch steps into the rain.
I was half-running through the downpour like the coward I apparently was.
What the hell had I just done?