Hate to Love You

CH 1 - #gone

#gone

Luke

“You ready to do this?” my brother Hayden asked, coming up to me.

I kept leaning against the barn door, staring at the pasture. “Nope.”

“Shane has to read Dad’s will to Mom, you, and me.”

“I already know there’s nothing left to inherit because of Dad. I don’t understand why he didn’t tell us about the ranch’s debt. We could’ve done something, but it’s too fucking late now.”

“Luke, come on. Let’s get the legalities over with.”

I sighed, then started walking toward my parents’ house with Hayden beside me. Once inside, we headed to the dining room.

“Hey, Luke, Hayden,” Shane said, getting up from the table and shaking our hands. He’d been our family attorney for years.

“Where is my mom?” I asked.

“She went to use the bathroom.”

“Alright.”

A couple of minutes later, she joined us, sitting between Hayden and me and patting us on the knee. “Good morning, sons.”

My brother nodded at her with a strained smile.

“How are you, Mom?” I asked.

“Numb.”

I looked at Shane. “Give us the news.”

After reading my dad’s will aloud, he went into detail about Circle H’s financial crisis, explaining what my brother, our mom, and I already knew.

We were going to have to sell the ranch to cover the 2.

8 million debt that we didn’t have a clue about until after my dad’s sudden death.

My mom couldn’t make heads or tails of his paperwork, so I dove into it, quickly realizing the secret my dad had been keeping.

He had so much pride that he couldn’t ask for help.

“How do we even begin to sell our ranch?” I asked Shane.

“You let me handle that.”

“Generations of our family are buried on this land. Whoever buys it won’t want to look at a cemetery. They’ll probably get rid of the tombstones and graves.”

“Legally, they have to leave them.”

Hearing Shane say that brought me comfort. “How much time do you think my brother, mom, and I have to continue living here?”

“It’s hard to say. Things could move quickly or like a turtle.”

“Just know I’m taking Casper with me.”

“Luke, no one would ever make you sell your horse.”

“While you try to find a buyer for the ranch, I’m going to put out feelers to see if anyone needs a horse trainer and a cowhand,” I said, glancing at Hayden.

“Okay.”

I took a deep breath and shook my head. “I’m not going to lie. All of this is embarrassing as hell.”

“I understand, but it’s nothing any of you did,” Shane said, looking at me, Hayden, and our mom.

We continued talking for a few more minutes, then my brother and I went back to work. He tended the cattle with our three ranch hands while I broke in a new horse for a customer.

The sun was setting when I arrived at my cabin on the east side of the property.

After going inside, I poured myself a glass of whiskey and sipped it while sitting on my front porch steps, watching the last traces of light streak across the western horizon.

Once they were gone, I dropped my head and cried, still in disbelief that I wouldn’t be living on this land for the rest of my life.

I’d poured my heart and soul into it, taking care of it, and had hoped to marry one day and have children playing on it like Hayden and I used to.

I had just returned to my porch with some more whiskey when my cellphone chimed in my jeans pocket. I pulled it out to see who’d texted me.

Sierra: Checking on you.

Me: I’m alright.

Sierra: Could you use some company?

I stared at my ex-high school sweetheart’s text, debating whether to take her up on her offer. She and I were together from our junior year until two years after graduation. Our breakup wasn’t a bad one. We grew apart, but remained friends since we’d known each other our entire lives.

Sierra ended up marrying a businessman from Amarillo, where she, my family, and I were from.

After three years, she got a divorce when she found out her husband was having an affair.

I was there for her, emotionally and physically, while she worked through her disillusionment and pain.

We were fuck buddies, no strings attached.

Just getting what we needed from each other from time to time since we were both single.

Me: Come on over.

Twenty minutes later, I saw Sierra coming down the road that led to my cabin. After parking her Toyota 4-Runner beside my truck, she got out and walked toward me, still sitting on my porch steps, and gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Hey, you,” she said, leaning over and hugging my neck.

“Hey.”

She pointed at my glass. “Got any more of that?”

“You know I do.”

“Spare some for an old friend?”

“As much as you want.”

I stood up and looked at Sierra. She searched my eyes and softly kissed me.

“I’m going to take care of you first, then I’ll pour myself a drink,” she said.

“Finish mine.”

I gave her my glass. She downed what was left, took me by the hand, and led me inside to my bedroom, where she stripped me down to nothing and pushed me backward onto my bed.

I watched her take off her clothes, then she grabbed a condom from my nightstand drawer, put it on my dick, and rode me hard until I came.

Afterward, she lay beside me, running her fingertips across the hair on my chest.

“I’ll make you feel good in a minute,” I said.

“I’m not worried about it.”

“But I am. I’ve never let you go without having an orgasm whenever we’re together. Do you want my hand or mouth?”

“Your mouth this time.”

Once I’d gotten Sierra off by making a meal of her pussy, she redressed while I put back on my boxer briefs and nothing else.

A few minutes later, she left after giving me another kiss and hug.

I still loved her, but it wasn’t the kind of love needed for a romantic relationship, and certainly not for marriage.

I figured that Sierra and I would stay on this hookup track until she fell for another man.

Hopefully, he would treat her like she deserved to be treated.

I wanted to see her happy as much as she wanted to see me that way.