CH 10 - #notwelcome
#notwelcome
Madison
It had been a week since I woke up hungover and humiliated in Luke’s bed and was later rude to him at the corral.
My mom was right. Luke didn’t deserve my shitty behavior toward him.
Although I’d seen him working with some horses on several occasions and was absolutely blown away by his natural ability, I hadn’t spoken to him again because I intentionally hadn’t gotten close enough to him to say a word.
I had watched him from my bedroom window at the ranch house and also from the front porch.
At least a dozen times, he’d looked in my direction when I was on the porch sipping my morning coffee or a cup of herbal tea in the early evening.
Yesterday, he stared at me for so long that I thought he was going to walk the many yards over to me, but he didn’t.
If he had, I wouldn’t have known what to do other than hurry inside.
Although I knew I should apologize to Luke for how I treated him at the corral, I was scared to open the door to conversation with him. He would push to talk about us after I’d told him that I was sorry for being such a bitch. I couldn’t go there with him.
Bella had asked me about going on another ride with Luke on Casper.
I told her no. My dad heard her crying in the kitchen and walked in, immediately asking me why his grandgirl was upset.
After explaining the situation, he shook his head at me and said, “Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean it’s okay to make Bella feel that way.
” I told him that if he wanted to take her to Luke, then do it.
He didn’t hesitate. He grabbed her and carried her out the front door, straight to the corral.
I watched Luke with my little girl from the front porch as they rode Casper around.
The careful way he hung on to her, talked to her, and smiled at her melted me.
He was a natural with children, too, unlike Ty.
I knew he loved our daughter in his own way, but he’d only ever treated her like a prized possession that he kept on the shelf until he had an audience to watch him act like he was Dad of the Year.
Once they were gone, he was done spending time with Bella.
He was coming to Amarillo to see her soon, I was certain, only because his parents had pushed him to do so. Mr. and Mrs. Brooks were kind people who loved their granddaughter. The three of us had always gotten along well until I divorced their lying and cheating son.
It was about an hour until sunset. Luke was nowhere to be seen outside, so I took the opportunity to go for a quick run.
Nearly back to the ranch house, I slowed to a walk on the road and saw what I realized was Luke’s family cemetery in the distance to my left.
Curious, I cut across the land, heading to it to check it out.
As I neared it, I was taken aback by how beautiful it was.
When Luke first told me about this place, I imagined tombstones scattered here and there, overgrown with foliage.
That wasn’t what I was looking at now. The resting places of Luke’s ancestors were in order and very well maintained, with a gated, black wrought-iron fence surrounding them.
There were also a variety of windchimes hanging from the mesquite trees, tinkling in the wind that always seemed to be blowing in this part of Texas.
After entering the gate, I walked around and noticed a new burial plot to my right. I stepped closer to it and read the gray granite tombstone. It was Luke’s dad’s. He would have been sixty years old today.
I stepped closer and ran my fingertips across the top of his tombstone, saying a prayer in my mind that he was at peace while feeling sad. Mr. Harrison died too young. He hadn’t even made it to retirement age when he and his wife would’ve been free to do anything they wanted.
Thinking about them made me think about my mom and dad, choking me up. I couldn’t imagine losing either one of them, although I knew it would happen one day. I just hoped it was when they were really old, like in their nineties. That would be a full life they had lived.
I suddenly heard footsteps crunching on the ground behind me and spun around, gasping. “Luke, I-I…” I said, my heart racing.
He came to a stop a few yards away, keeping his hazel eyes on me. “What are you doing here?”
“I happened to spot your family’s cemetery when I was taking a run not long ago. I wanted to see it close up.”
“Alright.”
“Today is your dad’s birthday.”
“Yep, that’s why I’m here.”
I stepped away from Mr. Harrison’s grave, wiping my eyes and sniffling. “I’ll leave you alone to pay your respects to your dad.”
Luke didn’t say anything. He just kept staring at me.
“Um, before I go, I want to apologize to you for how I talked to you the other day at the corral.”
He nodded, remaining quiet. After a few more tense seconds, I left the cemetery and didn’t look back. I didn’t stop running either until I reached my parents’ front porch.
Once there, I collapsed into one of the rocking chairs, holding my head in my hands and trying to catch my breath.
It took longer than usual because I was so overwhelmed by seeing Luke and hearing his deep voice.
I was also embarrassed that he caught me on his ancestors’ sacred ground.
He wasn’t happy to see me there. I could tell by his knotted eyebrows and the way the sides of his jaw kept popping.
“Are you okay?” my mom asked, startling me as she’d done before when I sat on the porch, not hearing her open the front door.
“I will be in a minute. Just coming down from my run.”
“Do you want me to get you a bottle of water?”
“No, that’s okay, but thanks.”
“How was your run?”
“It was fine.”
“You took longer than usual. I was starting to get worried about you.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me out here, Mom.”
“I’m not talking about some stranger coming up to you. My concern is that you’re pushing yourself too hard physically.”
“I’m just trying to fight off my dad’s genetics. Running is good for my heart.”
My mom nodded, then went back inside, where she and my dad had been watching Disney’s Toy Story with Bella, the third time this week. It had become her favorite movie because of the character Woody. She said he reminded her of Luke since he wore a cowboy hat and boots.