Chapter 13
Guinevere
W ell, that went about as well as I thought it would.
This arrangement is never going to work. Ryker is unbearable at best. I am never going to last. We’re surely going to kill each other. His views on the novel are so jaded, and I don’t foresee them changing. I mean, twisted? Toxic? Are you kidding me?
Clearly, he’s projecting his own personality into the story. Has he even actually read the book? If he had, he wouldn’t see this story as anything other than a classic romance.
Maybe I took it took far with my comment about his family. That probably was a bit unnecessary, but I couldn’t help it. It’s like I can’t control what comes out of my mouth when I’m around him.
He’s right. I don’t know him; I don’t know what his family is like or how he grew up. I just assumed because of his rich boy attitude and contemptuous outlook that he must have some deep, dark secret that’s made him the way he is.
The way his face twisted when I said what I did, the way his muscles tensed and his breathing changed, the way he got so close to my face and the threat in his voice when he told me not to make assumptions about his life. I clearly struck a nerve, even though I was only saying it to piss him off a bit.
I definitely didn’t think he would get up and leave. He didn’t leave the last time I accused him of being cynical. I didn’t mean to hurt him, even though I can’t stand him. I’m not a mean person. I never have been, and I don’t want to be. I care about people and their feelings. But I will not let people walk all over me, I refuse.
I decide to sit in the library a bit longer, rereading “Wuthering Heights”, trying to see things from Ryker’s perspective. Trying to see where he’s coming from. I read the book so long ago, maybe I’m seeing it wrong. Maybe my perspective is the one that’s jaded.
Maybe I’m na?ve after growing up reading books, reading about men who love their woman unconditionally, irrevocably, completely. How they look at them with such love and want and need. The grand gestures, the way they look at their significant others as if they’re the only woman in the world, the declarations of love.
I’ve never experienced a love like that myself. Dawson was a good boyfriend, but he didn’t treat me like a book boyfriend would. I know they’re just stories. I know they’re not real, and real men don’t act like that. Real life is not a romance novel. It’s not love songs and perfection. Real life is raw, broken. It’s imperfections and desperation.
But it must be out there, that kind of love. The passionate, exciting, obsessive kind of love. The happily ever afters. Even though I haven’t seen it for myself, I know it’s out there.
It has to be.
The sound of my phone vibrating against the table startles me awake. My eyes fly open, and I scan my surroundings, trying to figure out where I am.
The old library comes into focus as my body fully wakes up. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I am hunched over the table in the empty, dark library with “Wuthering Heights” open and slightly damp from where I must have drooled .
Lainey’s name is displayed on my phone, and I see I have several missed calls from her, Ellie, and Damian. Shit, it’s late. They have to be wondering where I am.
I peal myself off the table and answer the call.
“Hel-”
“Where the hell are you? We’ve been calling you for over an hour,” Lainey lectures into my ear. God, she’s like my mother.
“I’m at the library. I fell asleep, I’m coming home now,” Lainey repeats what I just said, assumingly to Ellie, Haley, and probably Damian.
“You’ve been there this whole time?” Lainey questions.
“Yes. I was working on my project with Ryker, he left, and I stayed. I must have passed out while I was reading.”
Lainey, Ellie, and Haley flipped out on me when Damian dropped the Ryker and I being partners bomb. I was forced to tell them everything about our first discussion in class, and our plans to meet up tonight.
Of course, they were ecstatic. Well, Lainey and Haley were, Ellie really looked like she didn’t care, which I appreciated. This isn’t a big deal, and I don’t want to make it one.
I pack my things into my bag, and as I stand, I can feel the strong ache in my neck from leaning over the table for so long. That’s probably going to be worse by tomorrow.
Flinging my bag over my shoulder, I switch my phone from my right ear to my left.
“I’m on my way home now. I’ll see you guys soon.”
“You shouldn’t walk, Gwen. It’s late and it’s dark,” Lainey tells me. Now she really sounds like my mother. I roll my eyes.
“I’m on campus, I’ll be fine, Lainey,” I hear her sigh on the other end.
“Fine. Love you, bitch,” Lainey teases. I shake my head and chuckle to myself.
“Love you too,” I reply, hanging up as I head out of the library and walk toward home.
I don’t usually walk at night. As a twenty-one-year-old woman, it’s not really safe, even on a college campus. They tell you college campuses are safe since there’s security. But the only thing campus security is good for is handing out stupid tickets and busting kids for smoking weed on campus.
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Ellington University’s campus is typically quiet, it’s when you get closer to the off-campus housing that the quiet becomes louder and a bit rowdier.
Off campus housing consists of one street, literally right next to campus, with six houses on either side of it, a big mansion sitting on each end.
The big brick mansion on the right end is perfectly manicured, the landscaping is straight out of a magazine, and a large flag hangs on the tall flagpole in the center of the lawn. “The Ellington Elite” with the Elite crest under it is spread across the fabric.
Across the street, a home just as large houses the one sorority that Ellington U has. And then there’s my house, the house Lainey, Haley, Ellie and I share, exactly three houses down from the sorority.
The sorority girls don’t usually hold any parties, but the Elite mansion? There’s a party there almost every weekend and sometimes weekdays.
Ellie and Lainey usually attend them, only for the sole purpose of pissing off Ellie’s brother. Holland gets annoyed when Ellie crashes his parties. She says he ‘feels like he’s babysitting her’, even though they’re the same age. Haley never attends parties; she doesn’t drink or do any recreational drugs since she’s an athlete. I tend to hang back with her for the most part.
Holland is overprotective; I’ve seen it first-hand the last few years since I met Ellie. What’s weird is that he always acts the same way with Lainey. Like he’s watching out for her, or just watching her.
I don’t think Lainey’s notices the way Holland looks at her whenever they’re in the same room. More importantly, I don’t think Ellie’s notices the way her brother watches her best friend.
Ellie and Holland have always been really close, from what I’ve been told. But when they got here, Holland told everyone in the Elite mansion to stay away from his sister. It pissed Ellie off so much, she walked up to some poor sap and made out with him right in front of Holland.
I say poor sap because Holland ended up punching him in the face, even though the guy didn’t initiate the kiss.
When I enter my house, Lainey, Ellie, and Haley are sitting in the living room watching some movie about a one-night stand turned enemies to lovers.
Haley notices me first, jumping up from her perch on the floor, running over to hug me.
“Oh, thank God, you’re alive!” she exclaims, pulling away, leaving her hands resting on my shoulders. “I was worried.”
Her auburn hair falls over her shoulders and she gives me a frown.
“You’re so dramatic. I’m fine,” I chuckle.
Lainey and Ellie stay seated, but their expressions seem like they’re waiting for me to explain further. I appreciate having friends who care about me this much, but in this case it’s not necessary.
Walking into the living room, I cross my arms over my chest and stare down at Lainey and Ellie, while Haley comes back to take her seat on the floor.
“Okay, I’m sorry I was late tonight. But I’m here now,” I shrug.
“Are you okay? Did something happen with Ryker?” Lainey asks, a slight twinge of concern in her voice.
“Nothing happened. I said something I probably shouldn’t have, he got pissed, and then he left.”
“What did you say?” Ellie asks, her eyebrows furrowing.
I shrug. “Nothing he didn’t deserve.”
I shouldn’t feel bad. I shouldn’t feel guilty. But here I am with a sour feeling in my gut and a heavy feeling in my chest.
Shit. Why do I have to be such a nice person?