Chapter 34
Lainey
The cold breeze sends chills down my spine as I walk to Café Grind to get my fix of hot tea. I have all of my work so I’m able to get some homework done while I’m out. I’ve been really slacking on school since I got back from Italy.
I haven’t felt that motivated to do schoolwork honestly. I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately.
I guess that’s one good thing about having completely absent parents. They can’t get on my ass if my grades are slipping.
I do care about my grades, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve been spending so much time with Holland that I’ve fallen a bit behind.
Okay, maybe a little more than a bit. I got an email from my English professor that I’m practically failing, and I need these three credits to graduate.
The last time we saw each other, Holland practically begged me to put a label on us, and I just said that we didn’t know what we were doing.
Except, I don’t think I’m confused. I know what I’m feeling.
What I feel for Holland is unlike any feeling I’ve ever felt before. It’s real and vulnerable, it’s scary and consuming. It’s… unexpected. Completely and utterly unexpected. I don’t understand what it is about that man that has made me want him so badly.
The café is packed, and the line is practically out the door which annoys me because all I wanted to do was get my tea and sit down in a nice comfy booth to do my work. I guess that’s not going to happen since apparently everyone had the same idea at three o’clock on a Thursday.
“Hey, Stranger,” a familiar voice says from behind me. Why is that voice familiar?
Turning around slowly, I realize why the voice is familiar. My stomach does a weird flip thing, like when you’re nervous or scared. Archer, the guy from the party, the guy I turned down at the game.
I smile shyly. I know, weird for me, but I’m feeling a bit reserved. “Hey, Archer. How’ve you been?”
I don’t know why I feel so awkward. He’s just a guy, and I’m the one that turned him down, not the other way around. Is this what guilt feels like? And if it’s guilt, why do I feel guilty? I’ve turned down plenty of guys before. Why does this one feel different?
Archer smiles, and he looks just as awkward as I feel.
“I’ve been okay. You know, just been busy with school and all. What about you? I haven’t seen you around in a bit,” he shifts from one foot to the other uncomfortably. At least I’m not alone in feeling weird.
Shrugging, I smile. “I’ve been good. I just recently went to Italy for a friend’s wedding, so I was gone for a hot minute. But I’m back now,” I explain, mentally face palming myself because no shit, I’m back. I’m standing in front of him.
Chuckling, Archer smirks. “I see that. How was Italy?”
“Amazing,” I say, pictures of Holland and I naked together in bed flashing in my head like a movie.
I know the things I’m feeling aren’t just going to go away any time soon, which is incredibly frustrating for someone who’s never felt these kinds of things before, and never really planned to.
“That’s good. I’m glad you had a good time,” Archer drawls, waking me up from the highly inappropriate daydreams I’m having.
“Yeah, thanks,” I smile politely, hoping this awkward encounter is about to end.
“I don’t suppose you’ve changed your stance on the whole dating thing, have you?” he asks, and if I’d been drinking, it would have been spit out at the unexpected question.
“I don’t suppose she has,” another familiar voice says from behind me. Holland.
Again, drink, all over the place if I’d been drinking anything. Where the hell did he come from?
Holland’s strong arm wraps around my waist, and I can feel my face get hot as Archer’s eyes wander over where Holland’s hand rests on my hip.
What the hell is he doing, and why do I find it kind of sexy? Like he’s being possessive over me, even though we aren’t official. I should hate it, right? I should tell him that I’m not some prize to be won, or a mailbox he can piss on to claim his territory.
But here I am, thinking that it’s actually hot that he’s claiming me in front of another guy.
“Holland, right?” Archer asks, pointing at Holland. Holland nods curtly.
“Yep, and you’re the guy from the party,” he acknowledges, and I can’t believe he remembers that. I didn’t think he was really paying attention. Apparently, I was wrong.
Archer nods, looking kind of nervous but also attempting to keep his cool. It’s obvious that Archer isn’t comfortable with any sort of confrontation.
Chuckling nervously, Archer says, “that would be me. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you guys were a thing.”
His eyes dart between both of us, watching as Hollands hand moves over my hip and up to my waist protectively, possessively.
I can feel the goosebumps rise on my skin from the sensation, but I try my best not to show that the small touch affects me.
“Oh we’re-” I begin, but Holland’s reply cuts me off.
“Yeah, well, we are. So you can go now,” he tells Archer, and I can’t believe how rude he’s being. I mean, I can be a bitch, but only to people that deserve it. Archer hasn’t done anything to warrant Holland’s nastiness.
Archer looks at me again, this time with a bit of disappointment. I feel a small pang in my chest as I watch his body deflate.
“Right, okay. I guess I’ll see you around, Lainey,” he says as he shoves his hands in his pockets and begins to walk away.
When he’s out the door, I whip around to face the jerk who just broke that poor man’s heart.
Slapping his arm, Holland’s face contorts in pain as he grabs the spot I just assaulted.
“What the hell was that?” I ask, trying my best to act more annoyed than turned on. I mean, he could’ve been a bit nicer to the guy, but it was seriously hot seeing him get so territorial over me.
“What the hell was that,” he asks, rubbing his injury. I shake my head in disbelief.
“You deserved it! What the hell was that macho, tough guy, possessive shit?”
Holland smirks, and damn it, my panties might just melt right off. Crossing his arms across his broad chest, Holland stands a bit taller.
“That was me claiming what’s mine,” he tells me, matter-of-factly.
I scoff. “What’s yours, huh?”
Holland nods, taking a step closer until he’s completely in my space. His index finger slides under my chin and lifts my face slowly so that my eyes meet his.
“Yes, what’s mine. You’re mine, now, Barkley. Not his, not anyone else’s. Mine.”
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
The way he says ‘mine’ makes my pussy pulse with need, and I swear to God, I’m soaked. Like I need to change. He hasn’t even touched me yet and I’m about to combust.
No one has ever claimed me as theirs. Not even my own parents claim me as theirs, and here’s this boy, this man. This man I’ve known practically my entire life telling me I’m his and only his.
I’d say this is something Holland’s probably said to hundreds of women, but I know him. He’s only had one serious relationship, and the rest were just hookups. He didn’t usually repeat either.
Yeah, I know he has somewhat of a reputation, even if he claims he doesn’t. But it’s nowhere near as bad as mine. Or Ryker’s for that matter.
“And what if I don’t want to be yours?” I challenge, knowing full well that will get him going.
Holland scoffs knowingly.
“Well, Lainey Bug, the way you were sucking my cock the other night tells me otherwise.”
Oh my god.
He laughs at my horrified expression. I cannot believe he just said that in public. My cheeks heat as I look around the busy café to see if anyone is watching our interaction. No one seems to be paying attention in the slightest, thank God.
“Do I need to prove to you just how mine you are, Barkley?” With a gulp, I nod. Yes, please Lord, yes.
Holland grabs my hand and pulls me toward the door of the café. Once we’re outside in the cold air, he lets go and halts his steps. My eyes follow his line of sight and land on what made him freeze.
Ellie and Haley walk side by side, bundled in their winter attire and heading straight toward us. Oh shit, did they see us? Did they see Holland’s hand in mine?
Looking up at Holland, I try to read his expression to see if he’s freaking out as much as I am internally. It’s no surprise that he’s as cool as a cucumber.
As Ellie and Haley approach, I feel myself stiffen a bit, and I hate that I feel like I’m hiding this huge secret from my best friends. Except, you are hiding a secret from them, Lainey.
God, sometimes I wish my conscious would just shut the fuck up.
“Lane, you left without me this morning,” Ellie pouts, a bit of her blonde hair sticking out of her knit blue hat.
“Shit, I know,” I say, cringing inwardly.
I may be avoiding her just a little bit.
I know, I’m a terrible best friend. But it’s easier to avoid her than come out and say, ‘hey, so I’m fucking your brother and I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with him even though I told myself that I’d never fall in love because no one ever actually stays, and I’m probably going to end up self-sabotaging the whole thing and watching it blow up in my face. But anyway, can I have your blessing?’
“I’m sorry. I got up early and was craving a hot tea, so I came to the café,” I lie. I mean, technically, it isn’t really a lie. I did get up early, and I was craving tea. But I didn’t need to leave without her. I could’ve waited until she was ready to go, but I’m a coward.
Ellie smiles softly, almost as if she can tell I’m full of shit. Instead of calling me out on it though, she just nods.
“So what’s he doing here?” Haley asks, looking at Holland. My head whips to the side to see if Holland will answer and save me from whatever terrible lie is about to come out of my mouth. I can’t lie for shit.
“I needed a coffee before I went to practice, and ran into Barkley here,” he shrugs.
Nodding, I chuckle. “Jump scare,” I say, automatically regretting it because even though it was intended to be funny, it came out more awkward than anything. Wow, I hate myself.
I receive three very questioning looks, causing my cheeks to heat. I look down at the ground before I can say anything else.
“Anyway, I have to get to practice. Lainey, did you need a ride?” he asks, and I thank him silently for helping get me out of this situation.
“Yeah, thanks.”
Ellie hugs me before pulling back and walking toward the café.
“You’re still coming to the game tonight, right?” she inquires. Well, yeah. I don’t think captain possessive would let me miss it even if I wanted to.
“Of course. I’ll see you guys later,” I tell her before she turns around and heads into the café. As I begin to follow Holland, Haley grabs my arm.
“You have to tell her,” she states, and I know my face is as pale as a ghost. How the hell?
“What?” I play dumb, hoping Haley can’t tell, but Haley is smart, and she picks up on everything.
“You have to tell her that you’re screwing her brother. You can’t hide that from her.”
Oh god, how in the hell does she know? I didn’t think we were obvious at all.
“What… what are you talking about?”
Haley rolls her eyes. Haley isn’t a bitch, but she tells it like it is. If she has something on her mind, she’s going to say it. We’re a lot alike in that regard. Except, I do sometimes care about people’s feelings, whereas Haley does not.
“I saw the way you guys were looking at each other back in Italy. I know you guys slept together. I’m sure that’s the reason you hadn’t been sleeping at home until two weeks ago, right?
Look, I don’t care. You’re my friend and I want you to be happy, but Ellie’s my friend too.
If you don’t tell her and she finds out, she’ll never forgive you,” Haley explains, and God damnit she’s right. I know she’s right.
I need to tell Ellie. I need to stop pretending like I don’t have feelings for Holland.
I need to accept the fact that what I’m feeling for him clearly isn’t going away any time soon.
I need to tell Ellie before she finds out on her own somehow and she hates me forever.
I’d rather her find out from me than some rando.
Groaning, I nod. “I know, okay? I know. I just… what if she hates me? I mean, it’s her brother, Haley.”
Haley’s grip on my arm softens and the expression on her face turns to one of empathy and understanding.
“It’s Ellie, Lane. She could never hate you.
You’ve been friends forever, and she just wants you to be happy.
But she will be pissed if it’s not you that tells her,” Haley shrugs and begins to walk in the direction of the café.
“I’d do it soon too, because it looks like things are getting cozier between you two,” she winks, then disappears through the doors of the café.
Well, fuck. This situation just got a whole lot more difficult.