Chapter 9
Lainey
Ellie, Haley, and I are dressed up and ready to go two hours early. The game against Ridgewood Academy doesn’t start until seven, but we were all so excited to see Gwen that we got ready early so we could meet up before the game.
I haven’t seen my other best friend in months, and it’s been terrible. We talk practically every day, but it’s not the same not seeing her every day.
Luckily, back home in Rhode Island, we don’t live far from one another, however, she’s been living in the city, so that hasn’t been much help either.
I’m just glad they didn’t move somewhere further, because I don’t think I’d survive her being that far away.
Ridgewood Academy is a rival school to Ellington, and their rugby team is rough. They often don’t play by the rules, but somehow, they always get away with it. It’s like they’re paying the refs to look the other way or something.
I like the sport, and I know quite a lot about it. Ever since Holland joined the team, Ellie has dragged me to every single game. I’ve sat in the cold for hours on end watching her brother play, watching him probably closer than I should have.
At first, I loved the violence, and I loved watching Holland get thrown to the ground. It brought me a sick sense of peace. Now, I actually enjoy watching the game.
Although, I still do enjoy watching Holland get his ass handed to him. The cocky little shit needs a good ass kicking now and again.
I remember last year when I dragged Gwen to her first rugby game, before she would admit to having feelings for Ryker who was the team’s captain at the time. She didn’t understand the game at all, and I had to explain what was happening.
Now, in a little less than two weeks, she’ll be marrying him in one of the most romantic cities in the world. Why they chose to have their wedding in Italy is beyond me, but I am not complaining. I’ve never been out of the country before, and I’m dying to get the hell out of this town.
“Gwen’s going to meet us at Café Grind,”
Ellie says as she puts her coat on. She’s dressed in her green and white Ellington University sweatshirt and beanie, her blonde hair peeking out at the bottom the hat.
“Of course she is,”
I smile to myself. That girl and her coffee. She is coffee obsessed. She would spend hours in that little café on campus.
Haley chuckles.
“She’s probably only come to visit to go back there.”
We all laugh and nod.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,”
I tell her.
Taking one last look in the mirror, I pull on my Ellington U winter hat and my coat, combing my fingers through the long, dark hair resting over my shoulders. My lipstick is red, making it stand out against my hair and my grey blue eyes.
Deciding I look good enough, I say, “I’ll drive.”
When we get to campus, we walk into the tiny coffee shop and sit at a table in the corner. We all order drinks as we wait for Gwen. I take a small sip, trying not to burn my tongue when I hear a familiar voice.
“I’m back, bitches!”
Ellie, Haley, and I all look up at the same time to see Gwen enter the café, walking toward our table. I’m the first one out of my seat as I squeal and jump her, almost knocking her over.
“Shhh,”
I hear from around us, but I don’t even care. My bestie is back, and I’ve never been so relieved to see another human being in my life.
“Hey, Lainey,”
Gwen chuckles.
“It’s nice to see you, too.”
I pull back slightly to look at her face. My hands grab her cheeks and Gwen’s eyes go wide. I look into her eyes and move my hands around her face like I’m trying to feel every inch of it. Gwen laughs, pulling my hands away.
“What the hell are you doing, Lane?”
she asks, still chuckling.
“I had to make sure you were actually here and this wasn’t a bad trip,”
I tell her, my face as straight as it can be. She smiles.
“Well, I’m really here. You’re not tripping,”
she assures me. I hug her again and she wraps her tiny arms around me. I bury my face in her neck.
“I missed you so much,” I say.
“I missed you, too.”
“Alright, move. I wanna hug!”
Ellie exclaims, pushing me aside to bring Gwen in for a hug of her own.
After the greetings, we sit down together, drinking our coffee and chatting. For a minute, it feels like old times, being all together and gossiping. I forget that this hasn’t been our normal for a while now, and it feels good to have all of us in the same room again.
An hour later, we’re on our way to Ellington U’s athletic wing. Sports are pretty popular here, so Ellington allotted an entire space for every sport to play and practice.
The stadium is lit up with big, bright lights. The sound of the crowd is roaring, and it makes my adrenaline spike. I love this atmosphere. When the school comes together to cheer on our team, and we all have a common enemy.
My stomach is rolling, and I can’t tell why I’m feeling anxious all of a sudden. A shiver runs down my spine and I’m not sure it’s from the cold.
“Lainey, you okay?”
Gwen asks, her elbow hitting my arm lightly. She gives me a small smile.
“What? Yeah, of course. I’m fine,”
I assure her, but I don’t even know if that’s the truth.
“Where’s Ryker by the way?”
Gwen shakes her head and chuckles lightly to herself.
“He’s with the guys in the locker room. Coach Shaw was ecstatic to have him back.”
“That makes sense,” I laugh.
We make our way to our seats, sitting down and bundling up because it’s so God damn cold. I pull my gloves on and tug my hat down a bit.
“I want popcorn,”
Ellie announces.
“Do you guys want anything?”
I look between Gwen and Haley who both shake their heads. Deciding I should probably eat something, I nod.
“Yeah, I’ll take some.”
Ellie scoffs.
“Well come on then. Get your butt up and come with,”
she orders. I look at her with a pout which causes her to put a hand on her hip.
“I can’t, my legs are broken.”
“Get your lazy ass up or you get nothing,”
she tells me. I groan dramatically, standing and walking toward her.
“God, someone’s touchy,”
I say sarcastically. She swats me on the arm, and I turn around to see Haley and Gwen watching our interaction with smiles on their faces. I stick my tongue out at them, and they crack up.
Ellie grabs my arm and leads the way through the stands and straight to the concession stand. Ellie orders two popcorns and waters as I stand to the side scrolling through my phone. It’s always crazy down here, especially at a big game like this one.
People are everywhere and any normal person might think this was overwhelming, but I feel comfortable. Growing up with no one around you makes you appreciate when you do have others there. Even if you’re not necessarily talking to them.
My phone is suddenly knocked out of my hands, falling to the floor. Shit.
“Shit, I’m sorry,”
a familiar male voice says. He leans down to retrieve my phone and our eyes connect as he hands it back to me.
“No Name?”
I ask, my head tilting to one side. It’s the guy from the party the other night. The guy I almost had sex with. The guy I totally would have fucked if Holland Monroe didn’t cockblock me.
A piece of his wavy brown hair falls onto his face before he runs a hand through it to push it back. He really is attractive, and I kind of regret not finishing what we started. He smirks, looking a bit nervous.
“Yeah, I guess?”
Right, I never actually called him that to his face.
“Sorry, I didn’t get your name when we were, you know,”
I say, and he chuckles.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t let me tell you.”
I nod slowly.
“Right, yeah. Sorry about that, and sorry we didn’t get to…”
I drift off, hoping he’ll finish my sentence in his head. He does.
“Yeah, that kind of sucked. Is your friend okay?”
he asks, sounding actually interested to know the answer.
“What?”
My eyes narrow in confusion.
“Oh, yes. Yeah, she’s fine now,”
I hike a thumb over my shoulder to where Ellie stands, paying for our popcorn and drinks.
His eyes move from my face over to Ellie. He nods and smiles.
“Good to hear,”
he says, smirking, then extending his arm to shake my hand. Seems a bit trivial since his tongue has been in my mouth. I take is, his large hand encompassing mine.
“Hi. I’m Archer, and you are?”
My mind freezes and I debate telling him my name. He seems like the type of guy who gets attached and I’m not in any space for that.
“Come on,”
he coaxes.
“Tell me your name.”
Alright, what can it hurt. “Lainey.”
Archer smiles, his perfect white teeth shining brightly. He looks like he’d be an accounting major. Like he grew up with a perfect family and has never actually felt pain. A small pang hits my chest as I think about how different my life is from that.
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
he teases, and I can’t help but smile.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Lainey.”
“I think we’ve already met. But it’s nice to re-meet you, Archer.”
His smile grows, and then I realize he hasn’t let go of my hand yet. He follows my line of sight down to our still attached hands and then drops his.
Tucking his hands into his pockets, he clears his throat before asking, “Would you want to get dinner sometime?”
My heartbeat stutters, because what the hell? I was not expecting that. I mean, I shouldn’t go, right? I’d probably wreck him, and he seems like a nice guy. No guy I’ve ever hooked up with, or almost hooked up with, has ever asked me out. This is new territory for me.
Of course I’ve gone on dates, and I’ve tried the whole monogamy thing, but I’m not so sure it’s for me. I’ve never really had anything stable in my life other than Ellie, Holland, and Gwen. I can’t imagine a man wanting to stay with me when my own parents couldn’t even stay.
My brain races as I try to come up with a good reason to tell him no. I’m emotionally unavailable. I’m damaged goods. I’m not worth it. Archer deserves someone that’s fully invested, and that just isn’t me.
Archer looks from Ellie back to me, his eyes studying my face and I can feel my cheeks heat. I’m a pretty confident woman, and I don’t get flustered easily, but I’m feeling pretty damn flustered right now.
This guy is sweet and kind, and I already know he can kiss and make me feel good. What harm could going to dinner with the guy do, Lainey?
“Well?”
Archer asks, looking hopeful.
“I’m sorry, I don’t think so,”
I tell him, and I watch the hopeful look fall right off of his pretty face. God, I’m an asshole, but I’m doing him a favor.
“Oh, really? Is there a reason?”
he asks, a look of disappointment filling his face. Crossing my arms over my chest in a protective manner, I shrug.
“I don’t do dates,”
I say simply. I won’t go into my tragic past or childhood trauma. Keeping it simple and frank is easier. I know he’ll think I’m a whore or a bitch, but that’s better than him developing any kind of feelings for me.
Archer nods slowly, although I know he doesn’t understand.
“Right, okay,”
he says, his hands moving to his pockets awkwardly.
“Well, then, it was nice seeing you again, Lainey.”
I’m such an asshole.
“You too, Archer.”
“See you around.”
Ellie looks between us as she shoves a piece of popcorn into her mouth as if this has been some form of entertainment for her.
“See you,”
I tell him, secretly hoping I’ll never actually see him again.
God damnit, Lainey. Why can’t you be normal? Archer seemed like a nice, decent man. He could have been a great thing for me. Why’d I have to go and ruin a chance I had to be possibly be happy?
“Oh my god, who was that? He’s seriously hot,”
Ellie squeals as she grabs my arm. I shake my head and chuckle in half amusement at her reaction and the fact that I’m such a mess.
“I uh, almost hooked up with him the night… the night of the incident with Danny,”
I explain, seeing Ellie stiffen a bit when she hears Danny’s name.
“What do you mean almost?”
she questions, her brows furrowing. I’m not going to tell her it’s because I went to check on her, she doesn’t need to know that. She’ll feel guilty as hell.
“I stopped it. I wasn’t feeling well,”
I lie. Ellie looks like she wants to question me more, but thankfully she doesn’t.
“Oh. Well, you should’ve said yes to that date. He seemed sweet.”
Nodding, I grab the box of popcorn from her, popping a piece into my mouth.
“Yeah, that’s the problem. I’d ruin him,”
I tell her matter-of-factly.
“Come on, let’s get back to our seats.”
Ellie shrugs, following me through the crowd which has started to cheer louder as the teams start to head onto the pitch. I watch the Ellington guys set up and get in their positions.
And when we’re back at our seats, and I’m sitting back down on the cold bench, I notice that my eyes aren’t focused on the whole team. They’re focused on one person. Holland Monroe.
Fuck.