Chapter 13
Lainey
The feeling of alcohol running through my veins has me feeling more relaxed than I have in days. The music in the club is loud, and I can feel the bass in my stomach.
I wasn’t sure how tonight would end, and I didn’t really have any plans. I was going to chill out with my friends, get a few drinks, and dance the night away. But somehow, I found myself in the arms of a stranger once again.
I don’t know his name, but I think he’s an Elite because I’ve seen him at the mansion.
He’s attractive enough, and my drunk brain really doesn’t care. I’m having a good time, and that’s all that matters right now.
The lights above me flash around the large space in different directions, and I’ll admit, I may have had a bit too much to drink because I’m starting to feel dizzy.
I don’t know what’s going on with me lately. I don’t know why I’m feeling so off, so unlike myself. It’s like things that didn’t bother me before are all coming to a head and making me feel emotions I’m not used to feeling.
For as long as I can remember, my parents have travelled and been gone for long periods of time. When I was little, it really bothered me. I would have nightmares, and Erica the nanny would have to come soothe me in the middle of the night.
I would cry when it was Parents’ Day at school, or at recitals where everyone else’s parents were there, and it would always be Erica sitting the audience for me.
When I met the Monroe’s, Mrs. Monroe would cheer for me, but it was never the same as having a parent there.
My parents should have been my biggest supporters, my loudest cheerleaders, my allies, but I wasn’t so lucky. I got the parents that were barely around, that made me feel like a burden, that tried to shut me up by throwing money at me.
As if that would make up for them never being around.
I was an angry kid because of it. I got mad easily and threw tantrums when things didn’t go my way.
I would defy teachers’ orders and refuse to do my work. I may have been friendly, but I was also a pain in the ass more often than not.
As I got older, my attitude was still there, but I wouldn’t say it was as bad. I got more used to not having them around, and then I grew to prefer it.
The sex, drugs, and drinking were easier to do in parentless household.
I wonder what my parents would say if they ever found out about any of that. Would they be disappointed? Would they even care?
Probably not.
Either way, it hasn’t really taken a toll on my emotions in a while. Lately, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Last I heard, they were somewhere in Spain. Mom had texted me a picture of a beach they were at. That was the first contact we’d had in weeks.
I received that text five days ago in my psychology class. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone, especially Ellie because she’ll get pissed and want to take matters into her own hands.
I’ve looked back at it every day since, wondering what they’re doing and where they are now. Honestly, I probably should have gone to a therapist when I was young, but no one ever even suggested it. Now I kind of think it might have helped.
Having Ellie and Holland was a great distraction, and moving away to college was even better because I no longer had to be in that house, alone. Now, I have Ellie and Haley, and I’ll even throw Holland, Logan, and Mason in there.
We spend enough time at the Elite mansion that I’d say we’re all friends.
The guys’ hands landing on my ass catches my attention and breaks me out of my thoughts. My eyes open and my body instinctively moves against him. I’m not planning on going home with this guy, but I can have a little fun while I’m here.
Letting him move me, I relax into his grasp, letting my mind shut off.
It only lasts a minute before we’re interrupted by a hulking, six-foot two brick of a man who is standing so close to us, I can practically feel the heat radiating off of his body.
Holland stands with his fists clenched at his sides; his face pulled into a scowl. He looks angry, but I don’t know what for. He was fine earlier. Did something happen while I was dancing?
It takes a minute for the guy I’m with the realize I’ve stopped moving and we are now being watched.
His movements slow and he clears his throat awkwardly.
“Oh, hey Monroe. I didn’t know you were here tonight,”
he says sheepishly. Is he afraid of Holland? Holland isn’t scary, at least he’s not scary in my eyes.
He is a very tall, very muscular, very intimidating rugby player, but to me he’s still the eight-year-old boy I used to climb trees with.
“Colton,”
Holland says bitterly.
“I’m gonna cut in.”
My eyes narrow in suspicion as Connor looks at Holland like he has six heads.
“W-what?” he asks.
Holland takes a step closer, making the guy step back.
“Get lost, Kent.”
Colton looks from Holland to me, and I’m pretty sure I look just as confused as he is.
“Oh, shit. Sorry, bro. I didn’t know you guys were a thing,”
Colton rubs the back of his head, taking another step back.
My eyes widen when what he just said finally registers. I look at Holland, waiting for him to tell the guy we’re not a thing, but he doesn’t say anything.
“We’re not,”
I tell him, feeling Holland stiffen slightly at my side. Colton looks confused as hell, and honestly, that’s how I feel right now. Confused as all hell. What is Holland doing?
“Get out of here, Kent. I have to talk to Lainey, alone,”
he spits. My eyes narrow so much I’m practically squinting as my body starts to buzz from the mix of alcohol and anger.
This wouldn’t be the first time Holland has tried to involve himself in my love life, or lack thereof, and I swear to God, he does it on purpose just to piss me off. Like he doesn’t want me to be happy, or at least content.
I don’t get myself wrapped up with his shit. Why does he feel like he has the right to mess with mine?
“Go away, heathen. I’m dancing,”
I bite out. Holland gives me a challenging look, begging me to fight with him.
“Not anymore, you’re not. Come on, we’re all leaving,”
he tells me, grabbing my elbow and pulling me toward him and away from Colton who looks a bit too stunned to speak.
Yanking my arm out of his grasp, I dig my heals in, not allowing him to pull me any further.
No one around us sees what’s happening. They’re all too drunk and preoccupied to pay any attention, which is good because I might commit murder right now. Ellie might be a little upset at first, but she’ll get over it.
“I’m not going anywhere, Holland. You’re not my keeper,”
I yell at him. His eyes flare with anger, but it doesn’t affect me in the slightest.
“Let’s go, Barkley. I won’t say it again.”
What is he, my dad? Giving him a look of pure hatred, I take a step closer to him, getting in his face. Well, as much as I can considering my face is at his chest.
“What are you going to do if don’t, Monroe? Make me?”
I wish I was as intimidating as I feel right now, but I know I’m not.
Holland gives me a devilish smirk, and I glower at him, daring him to try something.
“Damn right, I will.”
“Listen, I-”
Colton, who I forgot was even here, starts.
Holland’s head snaps to him.
“I thought I told you to go,”
he seethes. What is his issue tonight?
Colton holds his hands up in surrender, blowing out an exasperated breath before backing away and disappearing into the crowd.
Looking at Holland in disbelief, he peers down at me again. We’re standing so close now that I can feel his heat. My irritation grows as he stands here, glaring at me as if I’ve done something wrong.
So much for having a good distraction. The alcohol in my system might as well have evaporated because I feel nothing but annoyance at this moment.
My head turns toward the table my friends are sitting at, and they’re all so deep in conversation that they’re not even looking at us. I was hoping one of them would come get this man away from me before I wrangle his neck.
“Are you ready to stop being a brat?”
Holland asks, crossing his very large, very sculpted arms across his chest. Tearing my eyes away from the veins stick out along his forearms, I life my gaze to his face.
Holland clenches his jaw, and I can’t help but find this a bit entertaining. One of my favorite pastimes is pissing him off.
“Fuck you,”
I say, and a smirk crosses his lips.
“You want to?”
he inquires. My body stiffens slightly at the thought of his body and mine pressed together, him rocking into me, him on top of me.
No, Lainey. You cannot go there. You don’t want to go there, not with him.
“You wish, you cretin.”
Holland’s eyes fill with heat, and I can tell he’s having the same thoughts I’m having as his eyes shamelessly roam over my body. My cheeks heat, but I keep my gaze locked on his face.
“Well, now that you’ve ruined my night, I’m leaving,”
I tell him, sidestepping and moving toward our friends.
For a few long minutes, I really thought Holland was going to throw me over his shoulder to get me out of there. I was hell bent on staying right where I was just to piss him off, but since Colton left, there’s no point. It isn’t a fun game anymore.
All of a sudden, I feel hot and lightheaded. The room feels like it’s spinning, and my heart is racing. I don’t know if it’s from the alcohol or the adrenaline from getting a rise out of Holland, but I have to get out of here.
When I reach the table, I bend in between Gwen and Ellie to let them know I’m leaving.
“Are you okay? Do you want us to come with you?”
Gwen asks, her eyes full of worry. I shake my head, not wanting to ruin their night.
“No, I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine,”
I tell her.
“I’ll see you guys later. You’re staying with us tonight, right?”
Gwen nods.
“Yes but are you sure you-”
I cut her off before she can finish her sentence.
“I’m okay, Gwenny. I’m just over it for the night.”
I give her a quick squeeze before do the same to Ellie, and Haley. Giving the boys a quick wave goodbye, I head for the door before anyone can ask any more questions.
I have no idea if Holland is following me, but I hope he has the sense to leave me the hell alone right now.
When the fresh air hits my face, my body finally seems to start to calm down. My stomach churns slightly, and for a moment, I think I’m going to puke.
Breathing through my nose, I swallow down the urge, pulling out my phone to order an Uber.
“You good, Barkley?”
I hear the familiar voice ask from behind me. Rolling my eyes, I turn around to face Holland, who in fact did not have enough sense to fuck off.
His eyes search my face, as if he’s concerned about my well-being. It pinches something in my chest. I hate when he’s nice to me. It makes my brain think stupid, dangerous things, and my body yearn for more.
Why did he even follow me out here? He’s the reason I’m leaving.
I cross my arms, the cold breeze sending shivers through my body even with my coat on. My hair flies around my face as I watch him slowly stalk toward me until he’s right in front of me.
His blonde hair moves with the small gust of wind, and his blue eyes look remorseful. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he looks to the ground.
This is what happens almost every single time. He’s a raging dick, and then he feels bad and comes to apologize.
Our relationship, or friendship, or whatever this is has always been weird. We’ve always had this dynamic where we’re utter assholes to each other and then he apologizes.
In high school, Holland would constantly try to scare any guy that looked at me. I thought it was because he saw me as a sister, but there was a small part of me, and I mean a tiny, miniscule part of me that hoped it was because he was jealous.
That tiny part of me was stupid. That kind of thinking only ends in disaster, and I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.