Chapter 29
NATE
The scent of antiseptic and burnt coffee wafted through the air in the hospital.
The air-conditioning was cranked too high, like they were trying to freeze out germs by sheer force.
I was glad I had insisted on getting Kate back to the hotel first. She didn’t need to be standing around here in her heels and wine-stained dress.
She had only agreed after I had promised to text her with regular updates.
I leaned back against the wall beside the row of plastic chairs, watching my brother pace a track into the linoleum while Jane slept behind the half-closed door. Alex rarely paced. He planned and then he executed those plans, solving problems before they even truly existed.
Seeing him like this, his cheeks gray and his hair wrecked from running his hands through it a hundred times, was like looking at a stranger wearing my brother’s face.
“They said she’ll be fine,” I reiterated calmly, mostly because if he didn’t take a breath, he was going to end up in a bed right next to hers. “You heard the doctor.”
Alex stopped pacing but didn’t sit. He just stood there with his hands on his hips, staring at the floor like it could save him. “I know what they said. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“To be fair, no one likes hospitals or having someone they love admitted to one, but this is the best place for her to be right now.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the hospital,” he said, rubbing the side of his neck as his features contorted into a mask of pain. “It’s that she’s this sick and I brought her all the way to New York anyway.”
“You didn’t bring her. Jane does what Jane wants, and she wanted to be here. She wanted to go to the party and be part of the transition. You couldn’t have stopped her even if you wanted to.”
“That’s true, but still.”
“And New York also has amazing hospitals. She’s in good hands here.”
He looked at me again but he didn’t argue.
Normally, he would’ve. On any other day, we would already be three rounds into it, but tonight—or this morning, technically—he just sighed.
“I know she wanted to come, but I knew she wasn’t feeling great.
I should’ve pushed back harder when she told me she could handle it. ”
“You can’t exactly ground your wife, Alex. You can’t send her to her room and tell her she’s only coming out for school or work.”
“Sure, but I could’ve insisted.”
“Even if you had, she would’ve come anyway. Just to prove a point.” I took a step forward and clapped him on the shoulder. “This isn’t your fault or hers. No one could’ve foreseen it would get this bad, and you brought her to the hospital fast enough.”
“Yeah,” he admitted. “Probably. I just can’t relax until she’s back on her feet.”
We stood there for another minute before he finally sat down in one of the waiting room chairs. I took a seat next to him, my feet spread apart and my elbows on my knees.
“They said HG?” I asked. “What’s exactly is that?”
“Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Basically, it’s a severe, debilitating form of morning sickness. Apparently, it can last weeks.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Months, sometimes.”
My stomach clenched. “Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Latin makes everything sound scarier,” I said, shaking my head.
He let out another sigh, a deeper, longer, much more exhausted one this time. “She’s been trying to keep up at work. Things have been busy at Thayer and she hates feeling like she’s letting anyone down, but her body is staging a riot and she’s just been pushing through everything.”
I glanced toward the door, half expecting to hear her shouting at us from inside. “She’s tough. She’ll get through this.”
“Yeah, but being as strong and as tough as she is? That’s part of the problem. Jane doesn’t slow down for anything, but she’s going to have to slow down for this.” He swallowed hard, his jaw tightening before he exhaled slowly. “I just… I hate seeing her like that.”
I didn’t say anything. There wasn’t an answer to that. No easy line to throw in to try to lighten the mood or make him feel better.
“You’re a good husband,” I said finally.
He gave me a skeptical look. “I dragged her to New York and landed her in a hospital.”
“You’re here. You’re worried. You’re doing everything right. You’re going to be a great father, Alex.”
He looked down at his hands like they suddenly held the weight of the world. “I hope so.”
“You will be.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you care this much already. Because you’ve taken care of all of us even as adults. Because you fought tooth and nail for Charlotte and she’s not even your daughter. Just your little sister. I know, Alex, because you’ve been there for us. Maybe not always, but when it mattered.”
“I wasn’t there for you just after Mom died.”
“No, but she was your mom too. You did what you needed to do for yourself back then, and when you were ready, you came back.”
I knew that had been bothering him for years, but he needed to know that none of us blamed him for it. The guy had needed time and space to process that loss just like all the rest of us.
“You’re human, Alex. I know you don’t always think of yourself that way, but you are.”
That seemed to settle something in him. Not fix it, but steady the nerves, at least. The guilt. After another moment, he nodded. “Once she’s re-hydrated and they discharge her, we’re going straight back to Chicago.”
“That’s probably a good call.”
“I’ll work remotely for a bit if I have to.” He glanced at me. “Which means I’m going to need you to pick up some of the slack.”
I grinned at him. “What else is new?”
“I’m serious, Nate.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“There are still so many moving pieces with the Hinds acquisition and I don’t want it to stall just because I’m not physically there.”
“I’ll handle it.”
“I mean it.”
“I said I’ll handle it.”
He studied me for a second, like he was gauging whether or not I’d actually follow through. “I might also just take some time off. At least a couple weeks, but maybe more if this keeps up.”
“You should,” I said. “Jane and the baby are your first priority right now. If you want to work remotely later on, that’s fine, but for now, just be with her without having to worry about work.”
Surprise flickered across his features. “You’re not going to argue?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Because your wife is in a hospital bed.”
It took a beat before he let out a short chuckle and nodded. “Point taken. Okay. Thanks, Nate.”
“Don’t thank me yet. I might run the company into the ground.”
“You won’t.”
“That’s a bold assumption.”
“I trust you.” He stood up and glanced at Jane’s room. “I should get back in there.”
“Yeah. She’s going to be okay,” I said.
He nodded, then strode across the hall and disappeared into the room, the door clicking softly shut behind him. I stayed in the hallway, drawing in a deep breath and trying to steady myself now that he was gone.
Seeing Alex like that had rattled something loose in my chest. I remembered the way it had hollowed him out when we’d lost Mom. The thought of him going through something like that again, even if this wasn’t nearly as serious?
I shoved the idea away before it could take root. Jane is fine. She’s going to be fine. This isn’t that. Not even close.
Still, sitting in this freezing waiting room, I realized that I couldn’t imagine loving someone the way Alex loved Jane and losing her.
Like our dad had lost our mom. I tried shaking the thought out of my head, but by the time I finally managed to get up and leave the hospital, it was already past one in the morning.
The city had that strange, late-night quiet to it, not silence exactly but definitely a softer version of chaos. Even Manhattan needed to breathe eventually, I supposed. The driver didn’t say much on the way back to the hotel, and I was grateful for it.
My head was too full already, between Alex, Jane, the acquisition, the party, and Kate, I wasn’t even sure where to start working through it all.
Before I’d gone to the hospital, I’d made sure Kate got back safely, putting her in the car myself and making sure the driver had the right hotel.
I’d even given him explicit instructions not to let her out alone.
It had felt excessive at the time, but now, it didn’t feel like I’d done enough.
When I got back to the suite, the lights were low, just the warm glow of a lamp on in the sitting area.
I moved quietly, walking down the short hallway and pausing outside Kate’s door before I even realized I was doing it.
My hand hovered near the handle for half a second before I told myself not to be ridiculous and turned it slowly.
The room was dark except for the faint light spilling in from the hallway, but it was enough to see the shape of her under the blankets, curled slightly on her side with one arm tucked under the pillow.
She was fast asleep, completely unaware of the relief that sped through me when I saw her there. Safe.
I watched her for a moment longer than I should have.
Then I pulled the door closed again as quietly as I could, going back to my own room before I crawled into bed with my fiancée instead.
I dropped my jacket over the back of a chair and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling out my phone to make sure I set an alarm for the morning.
There was a message waiting for me from Emma, and immediately, my stomach dropped. Usually, seeing her name made me smile, but tonight, it just made me feel like shit.
Emma: Just confirming tomorrow. Noon in Central Park. At the fountain. I’ll be there.
Central Park made sense. It was neutral and public, a place where neither of us would feel cornered. A place where, if this went sideways, if it was some kind of setup or I’d been catfished, I could just walk away. It was also a place where love stories should begin and not end.
I loved Emma. I really, really did. When I talked to her, time just ceased to exist. She was the only person ever who’d made it easy for me to open up.
She’d been patient when I’d needed more time before I spoke to her about something hard, like my mother’s death, but she’d also pushed me when I’d needed it.
Saying goodbye to her was going to be absolutely fucking terrible.
I already knew it was going to hurt more than I could possibly imagine right now, but it wasn’t right to string her along while I would be marrying Kate.
While I couldn’t seem to keep my hands off my future wife and she’d suggested we actually try to make it work.
All I had to do was look Emma in the eyes and tell her I was marrying someone else. How the fuck does something so complicated sound so simple?
I typed out a short reply confirming I would be there. Then I set the phone down on the nightstand and dropped onto my back on the bed. Sleep didn’t come easily, and even when it finally did, it didn’t last.
Every time I drifted off, something pulled me back up again, a sound in the hallway, a passing car, or my own thoughts refusing to shut up. By the time there was a knock at the door, morning light streaming in through the windows, it felt like I’d barely closed my eyes.
I dragged myself out of bed and opened them to find a room-service cart loaded with coffee and breakfast. I frowned. “I didn’t order this.”
“It was ordered for the suite, sir.”
Of course. Kate.
I stepped aside and let him in, signing the slip without really looking at it. The smell of coffee helped a little, so I poured a cup. I’d just taken the first sip when her door opened.
Kate came out of her room looking entirely too gorgeous and ready for the day.
Her gleaming red hair was brushed, but still not blown out, her makeup light but perfect.
She was dressed in a simple, olive green shirt and jeans, but somehow, she still looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine.
It did strange things to my concentration.
“Morning,” she said, her cheeks flushing slightly as she met my gaze.
I tried not to think about the reason she might be blushing and offered her a faint smile instead. “Morning.”
She nodded toward the cart. “I ordered coffee.”
“I figured.”
“I thought you might need it.”
“You weren’t wrong.” I took another sip, watching her over the rim of the cup. “Alex has taken Jane back home.”
“Yeah, she messaged me this morning, saying she was feeling much better, but that the doctor had recommended plenty of rest, so they were heading back.”
While I was a little surprised that Kate and Jane were getting so close that my sister-in-law had felt compelled to keep her updated, I didn’t say anything about it.
“Our flight leaves at six p.m. I have a few things I need to get done here before we leave, but I’ll pick you up from here and we can head to the airport together? ”
She nodded. “I have a meeting this morning too and I need to stop by my old apartment to pick up a few things.”
Her gaze dropped away from mine then, her hands winding together in front of her before she started fidgeting with her fingernails. I poured her a cup of coffee and pushed it across the table to her.
“I could come to your apartment with you,” I offered. “If you’d like and you need help packing.”
This woman was moving to Chicago, albeit perhaps only temporarily, to be with me. To give us a chance at having a real marriage. The absolute fucking least I could do was help her pack what she needed to feel more at home there.
Still, she looked at me like she hadn’t expected me to offer, her eyebrows lifting a little as she held my gaze. “You’d do that?”
“Of course.” I looked back at her just a little too deeply for it to be comfortable, so I cleared my throat and averted my gaze. “We can have the driver take your things straight to the airport along with our bags from here. It will save us some time later.”
She studied me for a second like she was trying to figure out if there was an angle, but there wasn’t. This was simply the right thing to do, and for once, I could actually do it. It felt good after all the screwed-up things I’d done recently, like getting it on—twice—with my fiancée.
“Okay,” she said finally. “That works.”
I smiled when she joined me and dished up a plate of fruit for breakfast. It was nice, being with her like this, eating together without any hostility crackling between us, but all the while, noon sat in the back of my mind like a countdown clock I couldn’t turn off.
Because before I could fully commit to her, I needed to go out there and break my own heart along with the heart of someone I truly cared about. Then after that, I would have to meet back up with Kate, taking her back to Chicago so she and I could start our lives together.
Talk about a fucking day, huh?