Chapter 38
KATE
Ididn’t quite have words to describe how surreal it was, sitting down to dinner with my husband. Maybe it was the fact that I’d gotten married on a baseball field in what could only be described as an insult to Yankees fans everywhere.
Or maybe it was the fact that the man sitting across from me, relaxed, handsome, and quietly watching me over the flicker of candlelight, was somehow both my arranged husband and the man I’d been in love with for years.
Either way, I kept having to discreetly pinch myself to make sure it was real. So far though, it sure as heck seemed to be.
A cool breeze drifted through the patio at the fancy place he’d brought me to on the Gold Coast. The lights strung up above us cast everything in a soft glow. The tables were far enough apart to give us the illusion of privacy as the sun dipped low toward the horizon.
I swirled my wine slowly, smiling at him across the table. “This almost makes up for the wedding.”
He laughed. “Almost?”
“You made me marry you in Cubs territory.”
“You wore a Yankees hat.”
“It was a protest.”
He pursed his lips. “It was a declaration of war.”
I smiled into my glass, but when I looked up again, he was studying me with a focused, thoughtful expression he got when something deeper was on his mind. It had been like this all day, light and easy on the surface but threaded with something heavier underneath.
Eventually, he leaned back in his chair, folded his arms loosely over his chest, and cocked his head at me. “So, where do we even begin? Any ideas?”
I let out a slow breath and nodded. “Emma and CB. We should start there. We’ve barely spoken about it, but it’s obviously the biggest elephant in the room right now.”
The corners of his mouth curved up slightly. “Emma and CB.”
God, even saying and hearing those names out loud felt ridiculous now, but we’d been them for so long that it was the logical place to start. “I think we should go back to the beginning. Clear it all up from there.”
“Okay,” he said, nodding after a brief pause. “The beginning. Yeah. That’s probably not a bad place to start.”
I unfurled one finger from around my glass and pointed at him. “You first.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Why me?”
“Because you already know why I was there. I joined that Discord purely to complain.”
“You did complain,” he said mildly.
I shrugged. “I was right to. That remake was awful.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t have to be so outspoken about it on a forum for fans.”
“I was passionate,” I argued. “Just like every other anti-social weirdo on that platform. It’s not my fault my passion didn’t completely take the same side as theirs.”
He smiled faintly, which eased the tension just a little. “You went on there knowing you were going to create havoc.”
I shrugged. “I felt it was the one place where people might understand why I was so upset about it. Be honest. The remake butchered the book.” After a brief pause, I got us back on track.
“You never have really told me what you were doing there, though. Were you secretly a fan before I showed up and ruined everything for you?”
He thought it over for a beat. “I liked the books, but I’ve rarely watched the movies and I hadn’t watched the one you were so passionate about.”
“You liked them?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s pretty unbelievable.”
“Why? A man can’t like the classics? Romance?”
I tilted my head. “Well, no. They can, but I don’t know. All along, I’ve just had this feeling that’s not what you were there for. The only thing you told me was that you joined for the discussion threads.”
“I did join for those. I liked reading the analyses of the scenes and people’s opinions of the characters as if they were discussing real people.”
“Sure, but that’s not what I asked.”
He looked down at the table for a moment, his thumb brushing absently along the stem of his glass. “My mom used to read them to me.”
Instantly, I felt my insides melting. In all the years we’d been talking, I’d never imagined this might be the reason.
Nate glanced up at me then, emotion swimming in those devastating eyes. “When I was a kid, that was our thing. We’d read a chapter every night, and when I found the books again after she died, they made me feel closer to her, I guess.”
The noise of the patio faded around us and I leaned forward across the table without even realizing I was doing it. “That’s why you joined?”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t even planning on talking at first. I just wanted to be there.
To hear people talking about those characters and those stories the way Mom did.
No one else in my house was talking about that and I didn’t know where else I could go, so I Googled it, found the Discord, and joined. ”
And then I showed up like a hurricane and started picking fights. Since it was too late to change that now, I smiled slowly. “You must have loved me immediately.”
“I thought you were insufferable.”
My mouth dropped open. “You agreed with me. You even egged me on.”
“Yeah, that might’ve been because I did love you immediately.” He pumped his eyebrows at me, but that didn’t stop my stomach from flipping or my heart from skipping at the admission. “On the other hand, I might also just have loved the way you were shaking things up.”
“I felt so crazy, setting up that fake email account,” I said, feeling like I needed to make an admission of my own since we were clearly being honest tonight.
“I can’t even tell you how much I questioned my own sanity while I was doing it.
I mean, there we were, after exchanging a few private messages when I’d hopped online in a fit, only so I could tear the movies to shreds, and it led me to you. ”
He let out a whisper of a chuckle, but the sparkle in those blue eyes was loud. Happy. Just to be talking about Emma.
“Yeah, I know how you feel,” he said, nodding slightly before giving his head a quick shake. “For a long time though, it was bliss, wasn’t it?”
I didn’t even have to think about my response. The truth was that talking to him like this was becoming easier and easier by the day, and in a way, the bond we’d formed online was something I had started to feel in person.
“It really was bliss.” I smiled. “It was my favorite part of every day, if I’m being completely honest. Even if it was also officially the dumbest thing we’ve ever done.”
“Agreed.”
I widened my eyes. “How did we not know?”
He rolled his lips into his mouth and shrugged. “I really, really don’t know.”
“We emailed constantly.”
“Yeah.”
“We talked on the phone.”
“Yep.”
“We literally fell in love,” I said, although my voice had been quieter there.
He gave me a look I couldn’t quite decipher. “Yeah.”
“And neither of us figured it out? How is that possible.”
“Well, we did buy different sim cards for our phones, so we weren’t using our own numbers.” He smiled slowly. “Also, you’re meaner in person.”
“I am not.”
“You are.”
I grimaced. “You’re bossier in person, and way quieter.”
He laughed, the sound so easy and unguarded that I started laughing too. As it faded, I picked up my glass and took another sip of my wine, a strange thought settling in my chest.
I could get used to this.
Our waiter brought our food, and as we ate, we reminisced about messages we’d exchanged in the early days, laughing about the times when we’d been surprised to find out things we had in common.
After finishing our dinner, we walked back to the St. Regis without really talking about it, just drifting along side by side in a comfortable silence that didn’t feel strained at all, but when we reached the building, that ease started to slip.
Suddenly, we were standing in the lobby of the building we shared, then the elevator. Then we were in our hallway and I didn’t know what to do. My apartment was right there, but we’d been sleeping together and we were married now—and Nate was right there too.
So was his apartment.
This part of the night felt undefined in a way that hadn’t mattered before, but it sure seemed to now. When we reached my door, I paused with my keys in my hand and he walked past me to unlock his door.
“Come on,” he said as he pushed it open, motioning for me to precede him.
“Come where? In there?” I frowned. “Why?”
He gave me a look like the answer was obvious. “Why what?”
“Why your place?” I asked. “Is it better or something?”
“It’s much better and you know it.” He said it completely deadpan, like there was no two ways about it.
I sighed. “That is so rude.”
“It’s accurate. And it’s not like you decorated that place.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, but he was already stepping inside, holding the door open for me, waiting. I felt myself softening because of that quiet expectation, like he just assumed I’d follow because it was that natural for him. Like this was normal.
I stayed where I was for one last second. Then I turned and crossed the hall, walking past him into his apartment. “Fine, but if we’re going to be here, I’m calling dibs on the shower. I’m still so dusty from that field.”
“So am I,” he agreed from behind me as I headed for the stairs. “I think I might join you.”
My heart stalled, then started galloping, heat rising to my cheeks even as a smile spread on my lips. Instead of turning around to let him see it, I just paused for a second before I shrugged and grabbed the banister.
“That’s fine by me. As long as you’re okay with scorching hot water and looking like a lobster by the time you climb out.”
“I’d make a sexy lobster,” he said after a beat. “All the other lobsters would be jealous.”
Despite the anticipation building deep within, I laughed, my head shaking as I reached the landing. “Seriously, how did I not know you were CB? Few people in the world would make a joke like that.”
“I wasn’t joking,” he said seriously, and I laughed again, but it turned into a squeal when he wrapped his arms around me from behind, picking me up and carrying me the rest of the way to his ensuite bathroom.
After setting me down in front of the his-and-hers vanity, he let go of me and strode over to the shower, opening the door and turning on the faucet. Meanwhile, I snuck another quick peek around the space.
Two glass walls even in here meant he literally had a million-dollar view while he was in the shower, the tub, or on the toilet. I knew no one could see in, but it would still feel like I was exposing myself to the whole world.
As wild as that was, however, I kind of liked it. Stone cladding on the wall behind the clean-cut vanity made it a feature. The bathtub was one of those gorgeous installations on feet, and the shower was large enough to host a party in.
“For a guy, you have a really beautiful bathroom,” I murmured when my gaze finally drifted back to him.
Nate paused with his Cubs shirt halfway off, putting those drool-inducing abs on full display for a moment. Then he pulled it over his head and dropped it on the floor. Those blue eyes zeroed in on me, but no smile appeared on his lips.
“Would you forgive me if I said something really cheesy right now?” he asked, still without even a hint of humor.
I nodded, weirdly drawn to how seriously he was taking this. “It probably depends on how cheesy, but sure. You have a temporary free pass.”
“It’s only beautiful because you’re in it.” As soon as the words were out, he took two long strides toward me, his hands falling to my hips like it came as naturally to him as the thought that we’d be staying here together from now on. “Let’s get you naked, shall we?”
“Not where I thought you were going with that,” I grumbled jokingly and he winked, but kicked off his shoes as he reached for the hem of my shirt.
I lifted my arms, holding his gaze as he dragged the fabric gently over my head and discarded it with his jersey on the floor. As he reached for my waistband, I mirrored his movements, our eyes never leaving each other’s as we removed every last piece of clothing between us.
By the time we were done, we still hadn’t broken eye contact, but steam was billowing out of his shower. He took my hand, leading me to the shower and smirking slightly as he opened the door and even more steam rushed out at me.
“Hot enough for you?”
“It’s about to be.”
He chuckled but widened his eyes as he nodded.
His gaze drifted down the length of my body as I walked into the shower, his lips parting slightly.
I stepped under the hot spray and let it run over me for just a minute, and when I glanced at him again, the look in his eyes was so heated that my body responded like a pilot light had been lit.
Desire sparked to life in my veins, suddenly making me feel all achy and needy.
My nipples hardened and wetness pooled between my legs.
I watched him follow me into the shower and shut the door behind him, allowing my gaze to drop to the carved lines of his abdomen, his strong thighs, and the well-defined muscles of his calves.
Hell, even this guy’s knees were sexy—and he was my husband now. I tugged my lower lip between my teeth and looked back up into his eyes, finding them already on me. He closed the distance between us, hands sliding back onto my hips and his forehead lowering to mine.
Water dripped from his hair and mine, the stream relentless on my back and shoulders, somehow easing some tension while a whole different kind was building inside. Nate’s chest was rising and falling a little faster than usual against mine, his erection hot and thick against my stomach.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, his voice husky but earnest. “We got married today. We’re fucking married, Kate.”
As if to prove the point—or maybe needing confirmation himself—he lifted his left hand and glanced at the brushed metal ring he wore now. I looked at it too, but then I shook my head when I brought my gaze back up to his.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Not now.” Instead, I pressed myself up on my toes and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “It’s like you said, we got married today. I know it might not have been conventional, but I do think we should get to act like newlyweds for at least one night.”
“You’re right,” he agreed, bringing that same hand to my cheek.
His fingers were as gentle as always but the hard metal of the ring against my skin definitely felt foreign.
It did send a thrill down my spine, though.
Knowing that ring officially made him mine.
“We’ve got the rest of our lives to talk, I guess. ”
Then he slanted his lips over mine for a searing kiss.
I moaned into his mouth and pressed myself up against him, determined not to let everything we still had to figure out get between us tonight.
If there was one thing I knew for an absolute fact, it was that Nate and I were on this journey together.
We had been for a long time, and now, we were finally going to get to figure it all out, but in person. One step at a time. As one.