Chapter 45
NATE
Kate didn’t answer her phone. She didn’t read my texts either. They’d gone through but they were just sitting there, unread for the first time ever.
I’d been standing outside her apartment door for longer than I wanted to admit, staring at the dark metal like it might grant me entry, considering that she sure didn’t want to. I knocked again. “Kate, come on.”
Nothing.
After giving it a few seconds, when I still hadn’t heard anything from behind the door, I rested my forehead briefly against it, exhaling through my nose. “I know you’re in there.”
Still nothing. Shit.
Pulling out my phone, I tried calling her again, hearing it vibrating faintly on the other side of the door, but the muffled buzzing stopped too quickly. Declined.
My jaw tightened. “Kate, this isn’t helping.” I scrubbed my hands over my face, looked back up at the door, and knocked again. “We need to talk about this.”
Still nothing. Fine. Fuck, okay, so it’s not fine, but what am I supposed to do?
Exhaustion was pressing into my bones. This last week was catching up to me in a big way, too little sleep, too much work, and the emotional whiplash of going from being at the lake house with her, talking about our golden future together, to this.
She wasn’t going to let me in, though. That much had become clear, so I headed back to my apartment, grabbed a notepad, and scribbled a message on the paper.
I’m going to fix this. Whatever it takes, we’ll figure it out.
I have to go meet with Alex now, but please talk to me when I get back.
I love you.
I didn’t know if that last bit would help or make it worse, but it was the truth.
Quickly folding the little piece of paper in half, I slid it under her door, making sure it disappeared into the dim light on the other side like it was being swallowed whole.
At least that way, I knew it wasn’t about to be snatched up by one of the building’s cleaning staff, thinking it was trash.
After another minute of just standing there, staring, with my heart in my shoes, I forced myself to leave and headed upstairs to Alex’s penthouse. We lived in the same building, but we rarely spent time together here. Actually, we rarely spent time together at all.
That needs to change.
Life was flying past and he was going to be a dad soon. I wanted to be a good uncle to that kid. An involved uncle.
First, you might want to sort out your shit with your wife. I sighed. The elevator ride felt longer than usual as my very helpful brain replayed that fight in miserable, looping detail. Who would you have chosen?
I still didn’t know how to answer that question in a way that wouldn’t hurt her. She was both women, for God’s sake. On the other hand, she was already hurt and nothing could be further from the truth than what she thought right now, so maybe I just had to go ahead and be honest.
Either way, I shelved the whole thing when I got to Alex’s door, giving a quick, firm knock. He opened seconds later, arching an eyebrow as his gaze swept across my face. “You look like hell. Even worse than me, and that’s saying something.”
“Gee, I wonder why.”
He stepped aside and waved me in. “What happened?”
I didn’t ease into it. I didn’t have the energy for that right now, so I came right out with it. “I think I know how the story leaked.”
He straightened slightly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. First things first though, I’m not having an affair, Alex.
I need you to know that. I did cheat on Emma, but I wasn’t cheating on Kate.
It turned out that I wasn’t cheating at all, actually.
” I rubbed a hand along a tense muscle in one of my shoulders.
“Honestly, I don’t know how to explain this, but Emma isn’t… separate.”
Alex stared at me with both of his eyebrows arched now, kind of looking like he was about to offer me a ride to psychiatric hospital too. “I don’t follow. Is this some kind of a throuple? Because I don’t think Hinds would understand a relationship with three people in it.”
I took a breath. “No it’s nothing like that. Emma is Kate.”
Alex blinked rapidly. “What are you talking about?”
“Five years ago, I met a woman on the internet. Emma. We started talking, became friends, and things kind of snowballed from there. It all came to a head when Hinds put that condition on the deal.”
He leaned back against the counter. “So when you said Emma is Kate?”
I shrugged. “Emma’s real name isn’t Emma. It’s Kate, and Kate is Kate Vanderhaul.”
“How is that even—”
“I don’t know,” I said. “It just is. It’s a small world apparently.”
I gave him the condensed version. The Discord. The park. The realization. Everything that had come after.
Alex listened without interrupting, but when I finished, he just shook his head slowly. “I can’t even begin to unpack that.”
“Join the club.”
“But the leak?”
“I told Will about Emma before I knew that they were the same person. Some shit happened and I went to him about it,” I said. “After we got married, he came to check that my head was on straight. We met in the lounge downstairs. Someone must’ve overheard us.”
Alex grimaced. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
He exhaled slowly, shifting back into CEO mode in an instant despite supposedly being on leave. “You and Kate need to go talk to Hinds. In person. Before this spirals any further. Like, get on a plane ASAP, Nate. We can’t leave it any longer.”
I nodded, knowing he was right but neglecting to mention that my wife wasn’t even talking to me right now. The guy had enough on his plate, and besides, I wasn’t letting Kate go without a fight.
With or without the deal. Regardless of Abram or what he thought. Nothing was going to stop me from clearing this up with her once and for all.
Alex and I hammered out a few logistical matters. Then Jane called him from upstairs and I ducked out, not needing to interrupt them more than I already had. When I got back to our floor, I went straight back to Kate’s door and knocked again.
“Katie?” I said softly. “We really need to talk.”
There was still no immediate answer, but I waited again.
Same as before. Except this time, the lock finally clicked and the door opened a few inches.
Kate stood on the other side, her expression blank and tired, her face free of any makeup.
She also had an orange cat tucked into one arm like it belonged there.
She scratched absently under its chin with her free hand, but the cat was looking at me, and it hissed as soon as I looked into its eyes. I frowned. “I didn’t know you had a cat.”
“I don’t,” she said, her voice as flat as her expressionless face.
I glanced back down at the cat. I’m definitely not imagining things or hallucinating. It’s real. “But—”
“What do you want, Nate?”
My heart lurched into my throat, which was ridiculous. She was my wife. My actual, legal wife, on paper and everything.
And yet, standing there in the dim light of the hallway, with that orange menace glaring at me like I’d personally ensured the ill treatment of his ancestors, I felt like a man waiting for a verdict. A life sentence or a pardon.
I dragged in a breath that didn’t feel nearly big enough and tried to ignore the way my hands wanted to curl into fists just to give them something to do. “I came to talk. I don’t want to fight, Kate.”
She didn’t answer, just continued scratching the cat under the chin. The little bastard leaned into her hand, purring now like he hadn’t just tried to flay me alive with his eyes a minute ago.
I swallowed hard, lifting my gaze back to hers. While I could’ve done without the cat being here, she seemed to be enjoying its company. Besides, if I didn’t say it now, I might never get the chance to actually tell her.
“I would have chosen you,” I said. The words felt too small for something that big, but they were the only ones I had.
“I’m choosing you now, Kate, and I will choose you forever if you’ll let me, but right now, our forever is going to be marred by our own secrets if we don’t do something to stop your godfather from backing out of our contract. ”
My heart was pounding and my palms were suddenly sweaty, but she just kept scratching that damn cat.
I took a step closer and it hissed again, but I ignored it.
There was a faint shimmer of tears in her eyes now, and that savage could tear me to shreds, but I wasn’t staying away from her when she was this upset.
“Everyone I know and trust has cautioned that marriage isn’t easy,” I said. “But, Kate, saying I do to you was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.”
I took another step closer, and even the fucking cat seemed to realize it needed to keep its mouth shut and its opinions to itself. Staring into those whiskey-hazel eyes, all I wanted was to reach for her, but I kept my hands firmly by my side.
“I won’t let someone else ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” I said. “Unless you tell me that this is done.” My chest felt tight enough to crack open, but I still said one more thing she absolutely needed to know. “Your voice is the only one that matters.”
The hallway seemed impossibly quiet after all that, like the whole world had stopped to listen for her answer. Finally, she sighed, quiet for just another beat. “Why didn’t you say any of this before?”
“Because I thought you knew, Kate. All of this came out of left field after we landed. I get that, but I meant what I said to you at the lake house. I love you, inside and out, and if Emma had been someone else, I still would’ve loved you.
I still would’ve chosen you. I went there that day to choose you, and I would’ve gone through with it, even if I have no way of proving that now. ”
Kate stared back at me for a very long, protracted minute before she lowered her face and pressed a soft kiss to the cat’s head. For a second, I thought she might send me away. That she’d thank me for my honesty, tell me it was too late, and close the door.
That would be it, the shortest marriage in recorded history, and it would be entirely my own fault, but then she looked up and smiled. It was small and shaky, the tears that been in her eyes finally spilling over, but it was there.
“Come on in,” she said softly.
I didn’t realize how tightly wound I’d been until the door swung wider and I could breathe again. I inhaled deeply as I stepped inside, the relief dizzying.
Kate shifted the cat in her arms as she walked to the window, cracking it open just enough to let in a thread of cool night air. “He’s not my cat, by the way. He must live in one of the lower apartments. He’s been coming and going.”
The cat, apparently having decided I was no longer an immediate threat, blinked at me from the safety of her arms. Kate moved to the couch and sat down. The cat settled into her lap like he’d found a permanent residence.
I stayed where I was for a second, insanely jealous of a fucking cat, but the fact that it was getting to calm her, to be there for her, and to be her emotional support right now made me feel like I was going to explode.
“Sit,” she said gently when I still hadn’t moved a full minute later.
I glared at the cat but strode over to the couch anyway and lowered myself down beside her. Close enough that our knees almost touched but not quite. Not yet.
She dabbed at the corner of her eyes with her fingertips and let out a slow, shuddering breath. “Okay, so you went to talk to Alex. What’s the plan, Nate?”
Relief, gratitude, and hope expanded inside my chest. We were still together, and for as long as that was true, we could do anything.
Thank God, it looks like all is well. Because she was all I needed. She and I together could take on the whole world and win. I was sure we could handle one lonely, misguided billionaire—and perhaps a couple parents who probably weren’t too happy with me right now.