Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
EMILY
Charles sat at a square wooden table next to the large window, the sun streaming through the glass. The window looked out on a row of brownstones, cars—and Dana’s truck—parked on the street in front of them.
My chest tightened. Was Charles going to tell us Austin had gotten away with his behavior scot-free? I wanted to hold Dana’s hand, feel her warmth and steadiness.
I had seen at least three other same-sex couples walking around the Christmas lights last night, completely comfortable being themselves. One couple had even had kids. Maybe things had changed—in Dyker Heights and society more broadly. Was I being overly cautious?
We stepped into the café, the rich smell of freshly ground coffee washing over me.
I shot a glance at Dana. At the very least, perhaps I should have been open with my parents about Dana, rather than leading them to believe we were just friends.
At the time, it had just seemed easier that way—have one story for everyone and avoid my parents prying about our relationship.
Why get their hopes up when it would all be over in a few weeks, anyway?
And being affectionate with Dana in front of other people didn’t come naturally to me.
Although, more and more I was having the urge to do so.
I was even finding it hard not talking about Dana—when I’d snuck out this morning to purchase a Christmas present for her, I’d had to bite back telling the shop assistant who it was for.
Charles stood as we approached. He hugged me and gave Dana a surprisingly warm smile. “Good to see you again, Dana. Have you been fielding off job offers since your cameo?”
Dana snorted. “Nope. Are you interested in having me back for a starring role?”
Charles chuckled as he sat back down. “I’m afraid I don’t have any grumpy waitress roles coming up in the foreseeable future, but I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”
“Are you suggesting I’m a one-off?” Dana scowled, but her lips twitched.
“What? Never.” Charles grinned.
I laughed, but my chest tightened as I took a seat at the table.
I also hadn’t been fielding off job offers since the movie came out.
My ridiculous fantasy about The Christmas Tree Farm opening new doors for me hadn’t transpired.
The movie only came out a few days ago, of course nothing has happened.
“Speaking of job offers.” Charles turned to me after a server left with our orders. “Emily, I’m not sure what next year is looking like for you, but I’d like to see if we can work together again, if that’s something you’re interested in?”
“Really?” I asked, stunned.
“I can’t make any promises—I never have final say in the casting—but I can definitely put you forward. And I’ve been working on a project that, if it gets off its feet, will give me more control over who is cast.”
My stomach fluttered. I was thrilled at the prospect of another role, although was there a risk of getting typecast if I did another HolLove movie? And would I have to work with other jerks like Austin—or Austin himself?
A server with an impressive sleeve of colorful dragon tattoos placed our coffees on the table.
“Would you like an update about Austin?” Charles asked.
I gripped my coffee cup in my hand and nodded.
“I asked around after the party, and while we were editing the film I paid close attention to the shots of him and I formally lodged my concerns with HolLove last week. They might try to sweep it all under the rug, but I think they’ll find it difficult explaining it away with the footage I got.
When I cut and zoomed in on all the moments when he touched you unnecessarily, it was pretty clear.
I’m sorry, Emily. I wasn’t paying enough attention to it. ”
My fingers relaxed their grip. “Thank you. I’m glad they’re doing something about it.”
Charles and HolLove appeared to be taking Dana’s allegations seriously. Perhaps the same would happen if I spoke out against Phillip.
“And don’t worry about it having any impact on you. I made it clear it was based on my observations and comments from onlookers.” Charles turned to Dana. “Thanks again for telling me, Dana.”
My shoulders relaxed. Charles had left me out of it. Although, Charles’ comment indicated he thought it could impact me if it was traced back to me. Speaking out against Phillip would be even worse. Shit.
“No problem. I just hope he never does it again.” Dana brought her coffee to her lips and took a sip.
“Thank you for not mentioning me.” I swallowed a lump in my throat.
“Not that I think it would have been a black mark against you or anything. Things have changed a lot in the past few years.”
I breathed out. Okay, maybe I’d read too much into his comment.
Should I just talk to Charles about Phillip, instead of trying to interpret how his comments about Austin might apply to Phillip as well?
It might be relevant for him to know I could be embroiled in other sexual harassment allegations.
Not only that, but Charles might have some useful insights.
He’d been in the industry for years, after all.
I took a deep breath. “Would it be okay to bounce something off you, on a confidential basis?”
“Of course.” Charles pulled the lid off a jar of sugar in the middle of the table and put two spoonfuls in his coffee.
I glanced at Dana. Under the table, Dana gave my thigh a comforting squeeze, as if she knew what I was about to say.
“You know Phillip Weatherstone?”
Charles nodded. “Not personally, but I’ve heard of him, of course.”
“Well, while I was filming Clique he tried to pressure me into sleeping with him. He said he’d recommend me for future roles if I complied, and that if I didn’t, he’d ruin my career."
Charles set down his coffee, his brow furrowed. “I’m so sorry, Emily. I’d heard rumors he was an unpleasant guy, but I didn’t realize he was that bad. That explains a lot.”
“Oh?”
“I was warned by multiple people you were difficult to work with. No offense, but if we hadn’t been desperate to find someone after the original actress was injured, I wouldn’t have hired you.
But then when you started, you weren’t difficult at all—well, apart from having very high standards and wanting to do all those takes.
” Charles chuckled, but it quickly faded away.
“I’m nowhere near as influential as Phillip is, but I’ll sing your praises loudly to try to counter him.
Have you considered lodging a complaint?
It seems like a pretty blatant case of sexual harassment to me. ”
My stomach roiled with nausea at Charles’ words. I knew Phillip had blacklisted me; I just didn’t know exactly what he’d said to people.
“He threatened if I told anyone, he’d make my life even more miserable. I did speak to my agent about it, and she advised against doing anything. It would have been ‘he said, she said.’ And because I rejected him, nothing actually happened between us.”
“Apart from him ruining your career,” Dana added, her knuckles white around her coffee mug.
“Yeah, there was that.” I sighed. “Anyway, over the past few months, I’ve had a reporter reach out to me. I wasn’t the only one Phillip did this to. Other women have come forward, but only one is willing to be named and speak on the record. She needs one more.”
Charles blew out a deep breath. “That’s very difficult, Emily. I’m sorry. What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know. It just feels like terrible timing.
If this had all come up last year, when my career felt completely hopeless, I might have been more comfortable speaking out because I had nothing left to lose.
But with this HolLove role, I have a sliver of hope that things might turn around.
I’m worried about blowing it all up. And what if it comes out that I’m involved in allegations against Austin as well?
Will that make people doubt me? What are the chances I’d be involved in multiple sexual harassment issues? ”
Charles ran his hand over his bald head. “Unfortunately, it’s quite high. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that I went through something similar in the late 1990s and never regretted speaking out.”
My eyebrows shot up. “What happened—if you don’t mind sharing?”
Charles leaned his arms on the table. “Did you ever wonder why I went from directing Oscar winners to HolLove movies?”
“Um, maybe a little?” Was it rude to admit it?
“I complained about a producer—a very influential, racist and homophobic producer—who made my life a misery, and he destroyed my career.”
Wow. That took guts. And it put my own issues in some perspective. Being a Black, openly gay man in the nineties would have given rise to so many more challenges than I experienced as closeted white woman thirty years later.
“Shit, I’m sorry. And you have no regrets, even though he ruined your career?”
Charles swirled his coffee in his cup. “I mean, I was furious about the whole thing, but I would have found it very hard to know that he was out there, still being a racist homophobic prick, and I hadn’t done everything in my power to stop him.
But you obviously need to make your own decision.
I don’t want to sugarcoat it. It will be hard if you speak out.
The media will probably rake through your past and hound you for interviews.
But eventually, it will blow over. They’ll find a fresh scandal to focus on instead.
And the fact that there are other women willing to speak out against him will give you a level of credibility I lacked. ”
I gripped Dana’s hand under the table. Surely no one would notice.
What would the media raking over my past involve?
Would they work out that Dana and I had been living together?
Find evidence of those flings I’d had in my early twenties with women?
But would I be able to live with myself if I didn’t speak out, knowing Phillip was almost certainly continuing to harass women?
This was bigger than Phillip, bigger than Austin too. There were clearly systemic issues at play. Speaking out would also bring attention to these issues and send a message that behavior like this was not acceptable in Hollywood or HolLove.
Charles tilted his head, looking out the window at the cars driving past. “You know, my biggest regret isn’t about speaking out; it’s that I left my career to wallow for the last few decades, accepting any role I could get, rather than trying to rebuild it.
I’ve been burning myself out, churning out HolLove movies, trying to keep HolLove happy so the work doesn’t dry up, rather than taking a step back and focusing on what I really want to do.
But not anymore. I’m working on something that will let me focus on projects that get me really excited. ”
“That’s really inspiring. I can’t wait to see what it is. Did something happen that made you change direction?” I asked, leaning forward.
I had a particular interest in career comebacks.
“Well, the producer who’d harassed me died last year. That was the catalyst. I realized that even though I’d spoken out against him, I’d given up trying to follow my dreams. And then I started thinking about how much the industry has changed.”
“In what way?” I asked.
“Don’t get me wrong, homophobia and racism are still prevalent of course.
You only need to watch the Oscars to see how underrepresented people of color still are in leading roles.
And do you know how many queer actors find it hard to get roles, especially playing straight love interests?
But it’s not as blatant and accepted as it used to be and at least nowadays it’s harder for production companies to ignore allegations.
Even if they aren’t motivated by wanting to do the right thing, the financial and reputational risks are too great for them to push it all under the rug. ”
I slipped my hand out of Dana’s and lifted my water glass to my lips. If the media found out about me and Dana, would that relegate me to a career of playing queer female side characters? I glanced at Dana, who was gazing at Charles, her face creased with sympathy, and my chest ached.
“Hopefully it keeps getting better.”
“I’m sure it will, just not as fast as we’d like.”
We spent the rest of our time together reminiscing about filming and discussing the big movies coming out this year, while my mind whirled with our discussion.
I kept thinking of Austin creeping onto Ava.
Of Phillip, opening the door to his hotel room, half naked.
Of Cat, telling me what had happened to her.
Could I be like Charles, speak up against Phillip no matter the consequences, keep trying to push ahead with my career, even if he blacklisted me further?
After we’d said goodbye to Charles, we walked back to Dana’s truck, which was parked in an impossibly tight spot in front of the brownstones.
Just as Dana went to open the passenger door for me, I stopped. “Dana.” Dana turned to face me. “I think I’ll do it.” I swallowed. “I want to try to take Phillip down. Hopefully Charles is right that the media interest will blow over fairly quickly.”
“I know what a difficult decision it’s been,” Dana said, stepping forward, her eyes soft. “I’ll support you no matter what.”
Tears welled in my eyes. God, she was the best.
“Now that I’ve decided, I kind of just want to rip the Band-Aid off. If it’s okay, I’ll quickly call Rebecca now.” Then, maybe I could finally put all of this behind me.
Dana nodded. “Of course.”
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my messages until I found Rebecca’s number. My heart thudded in my ears as I stood on the sidewalk, waiting for her to pick up.
“Emily?” she said, surprise clear in her voice.
“I’m ready to go on the record.”