Chapter 43
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
DANA
We stood on the doorstep of my childhood home, a large white weatherboard house. Behind the wreath-adorned oak door, faint voices sounded from somewhere inside.
I took a deep breath and exhaled. Was I really ready to sit down for Christmas dinner opposite Kelsey and my brother three years to the day after it all fell apart? I should have picked another day for our reunion.
Emily squeezed my hand. “I’ll be here with you the whole time. But also, if you want to get the hell out of here, I’ll support you.”
I took another deep breath. If Emily could tell the world about Phillip, I could attend one Christmas dinner with my family.
“I’m ready. I do need to warn you though…”
“What is it?” Emily’s brow furrowed.
“My parents’ cooking is a little underwhelming compared to your family’s. The turkey will likely be on the tougher side, the Brussels sprouts a little soggy, and I don’t think Dad’s rum balls actually have any rum in them.”
Emily laughed. “That I can deal with. Worst case scenario we can eat the food Mom packed when we get back to your place.”
I chuckled. “All right, here goes.” I pressed the doorbell.
The voices stopped, quickly replaced with footsteps.
The door opened and there was Mom and Dad. We looked at each other for a moment, and then Mom threw her arms around me.
“It’s good to see you, my love,” she murmured into my ear, her gray bob brushing against my cheek. “Merry Christmas.”
I blinked away tears as I inhaled her familiar jasmine scent.
As soon as Mom was done, Dad enveloped me in an enormous, slightly stifling bear hug, his beard tickling my cheeks.
“We’ve missed you,” he said gruffly. “I know this isn’t easy, sweetheart.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I said as I unentangled myself.
“Mom, Dad, this is Emily. Emily, these are my parents, Pam and Richard. I hope it’s okay if Emily stays for dinner. It was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment thing.” I was sure it would be fine. More than fine. Mom had mentioned multiple times that I was very welcome to bring a plus-one.
“Of course. It’s so lovely to meet you, Emily,” Mom said, just as Dad reached out to shake Emily’s hand.
Mom turned back to me, her smile fading. “Jake and Kelsey are in the kitchen. Are you sure…are you sure you’ll be okay? Jake said he told you about their news?”
I nodded. “I’ll be okay, Mom.”
“It’s all a bit awkward,” Mom said to Emily. “I’m assuming Dana told you what happened?” Mom gave a dramatic grimace.
I was torn between wanting to roll my eyes or laugh. Mom was just as frustrating and lovable as she always had been.
“Of course I did, Mom.”
“Okay, good.”
My heart pounded as we walked down the hallway, Christmas music growing louder as we went.
At some point, I must have grabbed Emily’s hand, because just as we walked into the kitchen, I realized I was gripping it tightly.
There was a slightly odd smell, some faintly artificial citrus scent. Was it a candle?
And there they were. Jake and Kelsey, standing next to each other behind the kitchen counter.
Despite being partially hidden behind the countertop, the curve of Kelsey’s stomach was visible.
I braced myself, waiting for nausea to flood me, or my body to freeze, or some other significant reaction befitting of seeing my ex after three years.
But it just didn’t feel that dramatic. It was odd, that was for sure, seeing someone I’d been so familiar with, so close to, but who was now a stranger.
It was awkward too. What was the appropriate greeting in this situation?
“Oh my god!” Kelsey stared at us.
I flinched.
What was going on? Had no one told Kelsey I was coming? That would be a pretty shitty thing to do. I’d assumed she was onboard with the whole thing, especially after her text last week.
“What is it?” Mom asked, looking concerned.
“You’re…you’re the detective from Harrowgate.” Kelsey flushed, pushing her light brown hair back over her shoulder. “Sorry, that was rude of me. I just wasn’t expecting… I love that show.”
My shoulders relaxed. Kelsey was staring at Emily.
Emily smiled. “No, not at all. I’m just pleased you watched it.”
“Kelsey, this is Emily.” I turned to Emily. “And this is Kelsey and Jake.”
“Sorry to turn up unannounced like this.” Emily reached out and shook hands with Kelsey and Jake.
“You’re an actress, Emily?” Mom asked. “How wonderful! What else have you been in?”
“Before we get too carried away asking Emily questions, can I get either of you a drink?” Dad asked, opening the cabinet.
Emily probably didn’t want to spend her Christmas being peppered with questions about acting, but I couldn’t help feeling relieved that she offered a safe conversation topic.
“Water would be great, thanks,” Emily said.
“Water too. Thanks, Dad,” I added.
Dad filled a couple of glasses with water and then handed them to us.
Jake murmured something in Kelsey’s ear. She nodded, and he walked over to the dining table, bringing back a glass of water, which she sipped gratefully.
Three years ago that would have been me whispering to Kelsey, me standing there next to her. It was weird, seeing them together like that. But there was no flood of jealousy, no flash of rage, no wave of sadness or even nostalgia.
Kelsey put down the glass and gazed at me. “Dana, would you be comfortable having a quick chat, perhaps in private if that’s okay?”
I stared at Kelsey. What did she want to say? Would it put a pall over what had been turning into a surprisingly good day?
“It’s okay if you’d rather not,” Kelsey added.
Emily squeezed my hand, bolstering my confidence.
“No, that’s fine. Should we go into the living room?”
“That would be great.”
We walked into the living room, and for the first time in exactly three years, I was alone with Kelsey. My heart picked up pace. What was she going to say?
“Dana, I just wanted to apologize again for everything that happened. It was a terrible situation, and the way we handled it—the way you found out about it—made it all even worse.” Her eyes welled with tears.
“I know it must be hard, coming back here, so if there is anything we can do to make it easier, please let me know. I can leave, if that would help?”
I shook my head. “No. Thanks for the offer—and for the apology—but I’ll be okay.
It does feel weird, I’m not going to lie.
But I think the past months have made me realize that you can’t help who you’re attracted to, no matter how hard you try to fight it.
I’d much rather we both moved on, found the person who we couldn’t be without, than have stayed together or split up, but not followed our hearts, despite all the pain involved.
I’d like to try to leave the past behind us, if we can. ”
Kelsey swiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand.
“I am so glad to hear you feel that way, and that you’ve found Emily. I can’t believe you’re dating Detective Marianne Hayes.” Kelsey elbowed me. “You always did have a thing for her.”
I smiled. “I can’t believe it either. Speaking of Emily, we should probably go back. I don’t want to leave her alone too long in case Dad starts a monologue about weather patterns and climate change.”
“How are you feeling?” I asked as we walked back. “With the pregnancy,” I added, just to make it clear I wasn’t asking Kelsey how she was feeling about spending Christmas with her boyfriend’s sister who was also her ex and her ex’s new girlfriend.
Girlfriend. I’d barely had time to process what had just happened, but each time I thought about it I felt slightly giddy.
Kelsey smiled. “The first trimester was pretty rough with morning sickness, but that’s all over now, thank god.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” And I really was.
“Everything okay?” Mom asked as we stepped into the kitchen, her eyes darting between Kelsey and me. She was clearly worried Christmas might be over before it started.
“Yes, Mom,” I said, walking over to Emily, who was perched on a bar stool at the kitchen counter and slipping an arm around her waist.
“I’d better check how the turkey is doing,” Dad said.
He peered into the oven and frowned.
“Let me just…” Dad opened the oven and pulled out the tray with the turkey on it.
My brow furrowed.
Instead of golden brown, the turkey looked…slimy and slightly green.
I glanced at Emily, whose eyes were wide.
I’d warned her my parents’ cooking wasn’t as good as hers, but I hadn’t anticipated this.
The artificial citrus smell was stronger than ever.
Had they tried some sort of new lime Christmas glaze?
Whatever it was, it did not look festive—or edible, for that matter.
Oh god. I didn’t want Christmas to end with food poisoning.
Dad stared at the turkey.
“Sweetheart, why is the turkey green?” Mom asked.
Dad leaned close to it and sniffed.
“Shit,” he said.
He looked around the kitchen, his gaze stopping at two bottles next to the fridge.
One contained oil. The other...dishwashing liquid. Both were in green squeeze bottles which, while not identical, were surprisingly similar.
“Shit. Shit. Shit. I think I basted the turkey in dish soap.” Dad held onto the edge of the counter as if he needed support.
“Maybe we could just cut the skin off?” Mom suggested.
Jake shook his head. “It might have soaked in. I don’t think we should eat that.” His eyes darted to Kelsey’s belly.
Mom raised her hands. “Well, Christmas is ruined.” She turned to me, eyes glistening. “I’m sorry, honey.”
“It’s fine, Mom. We’ll have plenty of other food.”
“And my parents gave me a whole heap of leftovers from our Christmas Eve dinner last night,” Emily said, “as well as some of the Christmas dinner they’d made in advance. It’s all in the van. Why don’t I go get them?”
“Oh yes!” I grinned. “Emily’s parents are amazing cooks. They own a restaurant in Brooklyn. I’ll come help.”
“Are you sure?” Mom asked.