Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
THEO
There’s not a damn thing left in these cupboards.
I started my search this morning in hopes of finding something of substance for Kennedy, but other than an expired can of peas, my efforts proved to be fruitless.
She mentioned last night that she wanted to try eating in her physical body, so I was hoping there’d be something on the premises.
But alas, I forgot that anything worth eating would have disintegrated with time.
It’s been so long there aren’t even the remnants of bugs in the pantry.
Everything is but air and dust, and now I’m finally starting to see the state I’ve been living in all these years.
Left alone with my haunting thoughts, again, I wonder how long Kennedy will be gone today. I’m suddenly feeling motivated to clean up, but I don’t know how much difference I’ll be able to make in a day, especially without supplies.
I consider reaching out to Aidan, but it occurs to me that I’ve never done so before. Aidan’s visits have always been sporadic and without warning. That doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see him when he does come by, but now I wish I had a way of contacting him.
I could…leave…
Going outside wasn’t as terrible as I’d built it up to be in my head, and being back in my physical body again has me feeling cooped up in a house that used to be my sanctuary.
But what if I can’t force myself past the edge of the forest?
I haven’t seen the street lights or heard a bustling crowd in almost a century.
I don’t trust myself enough to dive in head-first like that.
But perhaps there’s another way. There are various points of connection within the void—places where someone has died and created a door of sorts, connecting the spirit world and the physical plane.
It’s why the witches chose my house to summon Kennedy.
To my knowledge, there’s at least one other place nearby that has seen death.
I know, because I was there. And it just so happens to be connected to Aidan’s home.
I let go of the body I’ve been holding onto for the past twenty-four hours. It’s disheartening, but now that I can confidently withstand being inside my physical form, I know I’ll be able to do it again.
My extremities fade first, leaving just the wispy remnants of my upper torso and chest visible, before finally the house fades, and I’m back inside the void.
It’s not all pitch blackness and falling through nothingness once you’ve gotten the hang of navigating it.
Now that I know my way around, it’s more akin to a mirror world than a vast nothingness, though it can definitely still feel that way.
I relied on that empty nothingness for a long time, but now that I no longer need it, I can see the spirit realm for what it is.
I can sense that I’m near the house, because of the energy it emits.
The same goes with feeling a proximity to humans.
Their spirit, or their souls, radiate like a beacon in this realm, so it’s easy to follow them if need be.
Another ghost, on the other hand, is more complicated.
Because their souls have been released from a body and no longer contained, they tend to be much harder to track.
But not impossible. If I truly wished, and perhaps with the help of another witch, I believe I could track down Kennedy. But that’s not what I’m here to do.
Instead, I focus on the spirit I know to be Aidan’s.
His was odd, and refracted much differently against the muted plane than others while he was suspended in an ageless existence.
But now that he’s met his mate, and has begun aging again to match her, he appears more like a human.
I concentrate on the faint pulse of his newly pumping heart that I recall from his last visit.
The sound is just barely discernible against the symphony of others in Shadow Hills, but it’s there.
I reign in the familiar thump thump thump, and then in the distance, a glowing white orb appears.
I follow it, passing by all the other orbs slowly appearing out of the fog.
When I finally reach Aidan’s, I know it’s his by the silver thread linking him to Joanna, wherever she is.
He appears to be in his house, but the only way I can venture to the mortal plane is through the door in the movie theater.
It wasn’t a theater when the door was created, but something much darker.
I can still hear the screams of the dozens of witches who perished by fire.
As I approach, I have to push past the memories that come rushing to the surface. Now is not the time for facing my demons, so I force my way through the intangible curtain separating the realms and appear in the front row of the theater.
A film is playing, and I realize there’s a small crowd watching it.
The loudness of the speakers pierces my eardrums, but covering my ears does nothing to help me in this form.
I rush out the door and into the lobby. There are less people here, but a few stragglers buying popcorn and candy notice me.
Their stunned faces lock in on mine and suddenly I’m frozen to the spot.
I don’t know what to do. Aidan isn’t here, and I’ve stupidly thrown myself into something I was not ready for.
Panic seizes me, and I feel as if my throat is being squeezed closed.
I’m suffocating, even though I don’t need the air.
The sensation alone is enough to make me feel like I’m going to pass out.
The room goes hazy, and for a second, I think I’ve slipped back into the void, but then a familiar face appears in front of me.
Simone’s deep brown eyes focus on me as a frown overtakes her features.
I’m still in a vacuum with my panic, so I try to anchor myself by centering my gaze on her smooth brown skin and cheeks tinted with a peachy pigment.
Braids dangle over her forehead while the rest are pulled into an updo with a bright orange head scarf.
“Theodore.” Her voice is calm. “How did you get here?”
I don’t think I can form a coherent sentence right now, but she seems to understand.
“Are you looking for Aidan?”
She’s smart, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
The rest of my surroundings slowly start to come back into view. I see Simone isn’t alone. A small group of women, including Calliope, are waiting off to the side of where we’re taking up space in the middle of the lobby. Calliope stares daggers at me, and I couldn’t agree with her more.
How dare I stand where they stood?
Simone turns to one of them and says, “Go down to Aidan’s and tell him Theodore’s here.”
The woman she addressed heads for the exit, another close on her trail.
“Is something wrong?” Simone asks me.
It must seem that way. Why else would I suddenly appear anywhere outside of my home?
Most of the people in this room have never laid eyes on me, or better yet, known I existed.
I can tell which ones have, because of their hushed murmurs.
They will no doubt be the source from which today’s gossip is spread.
I swallow quickly, clenching and unclenching my fist, then shake my head. “No. There’s…nothing wrong.”
This seems to alleviate Simone’s stiff posture. I worried her, and now I feel not only panicked but guilty.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize gently. “I didn’t mean to make you concerned. I wanted to leave the house. I–I thought I could.”
She smiles softly. “You did.” Glancing around, she gestures to the concession stand and the brightly colored movie posters on the wall. “You’re here. The worst part is over.”
I relax a little. She’s right. I never thought I’d see four walls other than my own again, but here I am. It's not that different. Just a bunch of fancy machines and brighter lights.
Simone moves out of the way for a family that’s heading into one of the screening rooms, and we migrate over to a bench beneath a poster of two giant robots fighting each other. She takes a seat while I hover beside her.
“We can wait here for Aidan,” she tells me, and I appreciate her taking charge of the situation.
She doesn’t try to fill the silence, which I also appreciate, and only a few minutes pass before I see Aidan striding through the front door of the theater, the two women sent to retrieve him in tow. One of them points us out, and he makes a beeline to where we’re sitting.
Aidan crouches in front of Simone and eyes me warily. “What’s going on?”
Suddenly, I feel like a child. I’ve caused a scene unnecessarily, and all because I tried to do something I wasn’t ready for.
“Nothing is going on,” I tell him, floating closer to hover above him.
He stands up and meets me at eye level. “Are you sure? Why did you leave the house?”
“It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have. I’ll just go back home now.”
My words are rushed and I sound flustered, but I’m too anxious to care. I just want to leave and pretend this never happened. Return to my hideaway, far from prying eyes and judgmental stares.
Aidan quietly thanks Simone and her friends for staying with me. Simone rejoins her group, but not before giving me a reassuring grin.
I nod once in her direction, showing that I’m thankful, and watch as they walk past the velvet partitions with their tickets.
Aidan attempts to snag my attention. “Theo. Talk to me.”
Without looking at him, I float toward a machine with a screen advertising a dozen ways to mix and match your drink choices. Why on earth would someone want to mix so many flavors? It sounds like a bubbly nightmare.
The little tv on the drink machine starts singing a song, and it’s too obnoxious.
I move away to find silence, but on the other side of the room is a group of kids surrounding another machine with a giant claw.
It yells “one more try!” and “you’ve almost got it!
” each time someone takes a turn moving the handle.
Poor Aidan is following me around as I aimlessly try to find someplace that isn’t an affront to my ears. “Is this what it’s like in the real world now?” I rant. “Constant racket?”
I hear Aidan chuckle behind me, though I don’t know how given my current proximity to chaos.
He lengthens his strides to keep up and stops ahead of me. “Let’s go upstairs. It’s quieter there.”
I follow him up a set of stairs next to the bathrooms, and the further we go, the more the noise lessens. We go down a hallway past projector rooms and janitorial supplies, then Aidan opens one of the doors to a small office.
“Is this where you work?” I ask, floating through the door before Aidan is able to open it fully.
“This is the manager’s office. I don’t work here; I just own the building.”
“Where do you work?”
Aidan scratches the stubble on his cheeks, another side effect of his recent aging. “I spend a lot of time at the bar now. I employ about ten people, but I like being there. It keeps me busy.” He gives me a pointed look. “And from holing up in my house, like a hermit.”
“You don’t see me there now, do you?” I snap. “You finally got what you wanted, after all these years.”
The bitterness of my tone tastes like acid on my tongue, and Aidan’s knowing smirk turns downward. “Not like this,” he admits. “I never wanted you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.” He leans on the desk and crosses his arms. “What made you finally decide to do it? Why today?”
I adjust the collar of my peacoat and rub at the back of my neck. “I wanted to clean the house,” I confess under my breath.
Aidan’s brow furrows. “You wanted to do what?”
“Clean!” I shout. “I wanted to clean the house, but I don’t have anything to do that with, and I didn’t know how to contact you, so I used the void!”
It sounds silly with all my words rushed and jumbled together, but it’s the truth, and I don’t feel like hiding from it any longer.
Aidan takes a deep breath as he moves away from the desk. Then, without a word, he walks through me!
I curse, but he doesn’t respond. Out in the hallway, I see the back of Aidan’s shoulder-length white hair disappearing behind another door. I hear him rummaging around for a few seconds before he reappears with a bucket full of supplies in one hand and a fancy looking broom in the other.
“Is this what you were hoping to find?” he asks smugly.
I give him a dejected sigh and a small nod. Releasing my frustration, I agree to let Aidan transport the supplies and meet him back at the house, though I give him a hard no when he asks if he can help clean.
Traveling back to Vanderbilt House is easier than the effort it took to leave. My soul is so intrinsically tied to the property that it only takes a simple thought, and I’m transported through the void, back into the front room of my home.
Obviously, it will take Aidan a few extra minutes to arrive, so I wait patiently by the front door. While I wait, I finally allow myself to hear Simone’s words of encouragement when I thought I couldn’t do it.
“You did.”
I give myself a small pat on the back. I know it was a very roundabout way of leaving the house, and others might consider it cheating in some way, but I accept the small victory nonetheless.
I took the first step, and for that I can be proud.