Chapter 12 Self-Gratification
Chapter twelve
Self-Gratification
Cian
Iblow out a breath as I head toward the bedroom, where Trissa’s presence is beckoning me like a lighthouse does a ship on stormy seas.
Despite the exhaustion weighing me down like a physical thing, I’m proud of what I accomplished today.
A little shiver of excitement runs through me as I think about that embrace earlier, and how good she felt in my arms trembling to the sound of my voice in her ear.
My experimentation with the ghost goo was a pretty significant success as well.
I’m still struggling a little with the mechanics of controlling the appendages (yes, plural!), but I can create them without any real effort now, and the details are much more complete.
I smile to myself as Trissa comes into view.
She’s snuggled into the center of my bed with a book perched on her lap and her phone on the bed beside her.
Her luminous blue hair is cascading freely around her shoulders and my hands itch to run through it.
I’ve missed her today, even though we’ve only been separated for a couple of hours.
I bite my lip, torn between wanting to crawl up her body and continue what we started earlier, or send a message on the phone and just get to know her some more.
While I’m frozen with indecision Trissa picks up her phone and frowns.
Before she can so much as blink, I’m floating above her.
I glance down at her phone to see a small string of messages she’s sent to me over the last thirty minutes or so.
Shit! I didn’t think about what would happen if I wasn’t in the area when she tried to text.
Shame heats the tips of my ears as I try to quickly scan the messages over her shoulder.
Trissa: So what do you look like—just like, a rough idea?
Trissa: Sorry if that was out of pocket, just realized that I have no idea and might have been a little too trusting of a stranger…
Trissa: Tell me something about you, something that no one else knows.
Trissa: Cian?
A warmth settles in my chest as I read her questions. She wants to get to know me too! My heart soars but I frown as I think about how to answer, especially considering she already knows what I look like…
Cian: Sorry, love—was working on something and time slipped away from me. I’m twenty-four, pale, bit thin but solid… I don’t know, average looking I guess.
Trissa gasps and then grins, her face lighting up with joy as she gets my text. A strange expression flashes across her face quickly and I’m worried for a moment that she won’t accept my pathetically vague answer.
Trissa: I can work with that. And something no one else knows?
As thankful as I am that she’s not really hounding me for answers, I’m still a bit chagrined to know that the bar is so low.
.. seemingly the only thing lower is her personal safety awareness.
How does knowing I’m a skinny pale guy make me any less a stranger?
I scratch my chest and shake my head. At least I’m here to help protect her now.
I sigh and think about how to answer the next one.
I’m a ghost and you’ve made me come in my pants…
twice, is a real possibility. I snort and start talking…
Cian: I feel trapped…and I’m terrified that what I am right now is all that I’ll ever be.
Trissa slides a bookmark into her book and pushes the covers back to crawl over to the nightstand on the left side of the bed.
I suck in a sharp breath that catches in my throat, making my lungs feel tight.
She slowly sets the book on the nightstand, as if she’s lost in thought.
I wait for her to move back over to her spot on the bed, but she doesn’t.
Instead she lets her legs spread out behind her and lays across the bed, propping herself up on her elbows as she pulls her phone back in front of her face.
I gulp at the vision splayed out in front of me.
A sheer pink baby doll night dress adorns her plush figure.
That’s it… nothing else. The sweet cream colored globes of her ass jiggle as she moves a bit to adjust her position and I groan, my cock pulsing to life.
Fuck. I pull my bottom lip into my mouth and bite down, hoping that small pain will balance out the quick rush of blood to my cock.
I take an unsteady breath as I slowly, so fucking slowly, float over her body and tilt my head to see her screen.
I link my hands behind my back as I hover, fighting the urge to grab hold of all that soft flesh and sink into her warmth. Chrissakes—get a fuckin grip, Cian!
Trissa: I can relate to that so much it hurts. I’m thankful I can talk to you though. Sometimes even though I live alone I feel a bit suffocated, you know? It’s nice to be able to talk to someone without the worry of having to act on anything right away.
Wait—does she mean me? Am I suffocating her with my presence?
I’ve never felt quite like this before—so desperately horny that I’m afraid of being able to control myself, while simultaneously wincing with a sharp lash of rejection as if I was being horse-whipped.
Doubts cloud my mind and I feel heat rise up my neck in a flush of embarrassment and mounting anxiety.
I shake my head and float a bit higher above her, putting more space between us while making sure her screen is still in eyesight.
I thought… she asked me for more earlier…
didn’t she? Fuck! I knew I was going to muck this up somehow.
I sigh dejectedly and close my eyes, trying to keep the sting of her revelation out of my words as I write back.
Cian: I can only partially relate to that, actually.
While I’m certainly no stranger to being alone, I crave the ability to act on my passions without inhibitions.
I’m always thankful to talk with you though, with or without the possibility of anything physical.
Although I can’t deny I was hoping for the former, eventually.
Trissa’s brow furrows and she bites her lip as she reads my message.
She shakes her foot as she types and I curse myself, because despite knowing now that she feels suffocated by me, I can’t pull my eyes away from the way it makes her ass jiggle.
I’m torturing myself at this point. My erection a painful reminder that I want more from this than she does.
Anger and resentment course through my veins, not at Trissa—never at her.
No, once again I’m furious with fate. What terrible thing did I do that even in death I’m tormented with women who don’t really want me?
Heat burns behind my eyes and I scowl at the tears I refuse to let fall.
Trissa: When you put it like that, I think I’ve changed my mind.
Trissa leans forward toward the drawer on the nightstand and opens it, sticking her hand inside and pulling out a pink silk bag with polka dot drawstrings.
She inches back with the bag clutched to her chest and a cheeky smile curling her tantalizing lips.
I have no idea what she means, although hope kindles in my chest.
Trissa: Can you do something for me, Cian?
My heart races and I pray that I’m able to grant her what she’s about to ask.
Cian: If it’s within my power, anything.
Trissa backs herself up, ass in the air before laying back down in the middle of the bed.
She moves the covers aside further and lays the bag on her stomach, letting her legs drop open and fall to the sides.
I choke on the breath I was drawing and sputter in heated fascination at the scene playing out in front of me.
Trissa: Touch yourself and think of me. And when you come, make sure it’s my name on your lips. Can you do that for me?
My heart hammers in my chest as I read the words on the screen, and then reread them twice more for good measure.
My cock is so hard now that I can feel my heartbeat in its pulses.
I feel a little uneasy agreeing to do this right after she inferred that I’ve been coming on too strong as Casper…
but as she opens the silk bag and pulls out what I can only assume is a sex toy, all reason flies out the window.
Cian: Only if you do the same…
Trissa: Oh honey, I planned on it ;)
Lust courses through me and I have to fight to control the ripples that signal the ghost goo trying to manifest. Trissa doesn’t want Casper, she wants Cian…
so I need to stay out of sight, even if knowing that burns like acid in my gut.
I move to the bottom of the bed and situate myself against the footboard, facing Trissa as she moves her bag off to the side and presses a button on her toy.
The gentle hum of vibration fills the air and I take a deep breath as I unfasten my pants with shaky hands, biting my lip as I pull my aching cock free.