Chapter 16 Ladylove Licker
Chapter sixteen
Ladylove Licker
Seth
By the time I pop into his grungy, gloomy attic, one glamoured squonk in tow, Cian is pacing furiously enough to stir up little clouds of dust.
“Who is that?” Cian glares over at Oliver, the slightly disheveled looking buddy I’ve brought with me.
Rude. It’s not like he’s got a lot of options for friends, and Ollie was nice enough to allow me steal him away to some strange ghosts haunted house.
Oliver cards a hand through his permanently tousled brown hair and blinks his owlish caramel colored eyes, pushing his wire-framed glasses back up his nose.
“Oliver. You’re shit at first impressions, by the way.” I glance over at Oliver, who looks up and pauses casually brushing non-existent lint from his clothes. He winces and nods.
“I know. Sorry, so sorry. Oliver Hemlock, pleased to meet you.”
A small sigh escapes me and I shake my head, “Not you, Ollie. You’re lovely and very charming. I meant tall, see-through and broody over here.”
Cian flicks unamused eyes to me as Ollie blushes a delightful crimson color.
I cock my head to the side and suck my teeth, “I’m assuming you called, rather morosely might I add, for some kind of advice.
Oliver here is basically a fortune cookie, except actually helpful while still maintaining that thrilling, sexy little air of mystery. ”
The man in question shuffles his feet, turning a truly astounding shade of red as he clears his throat. “You’re too kind.”
“Right.” Cian squints between us and starts to talk but then stops as his eyes widen. “Wait, you can see me?”
Ollie nods and clears his throat again, “I’m a squonk.”
I bite my lips to keep from grinning as confusion blankets Cian’s expression.
As much fun as it would be to watch my friend’s face as he learns what, exactly, a squonk is…
I have neither the time nor extra clothing to sacrifice to the tears that would be sure to follow.
“He’s paranormal. You’re only invisible to humans. ”
“Right.” Cian mumbles, clearly still unsure what to make of this development. Silence fills the room as I watch gleefully as they both awkwardly stare at each other and then purposefully look away to various other points in the room. It’s like a soap opera, but in real life.
“So… you called? Was I mistaken, or do you need advice? Ollie here may be a paranormal, but he’s not a mind reader.”
Oliver shuffles his feet before leaning his back against a nearby wall and folding his arms over his chest. Somehow his calm presence works its magic and Cian’s shoulders drop as he takes in a deep breath before spilling his guts.
“I ruined it.” Cian’s dejected voice reminds me of a kicked puppy and it’s as pathetic as it is heart wrenching.
“What… exactly does she know?”
“Everything. I think? She knows that Casper and Cian are the same person, which means she knows I've been texting her under false pretenses.
I have no idea how she figured it out, but she fucking knows.
Told me in no uncertain terms that she won't speak to me again until I figure out how to make it right.” He glances up at me from between strands of hair that have fallen forward into his face and I frown at the puffiness under his eyes.
“Okay… well, maybe it’s not so—”
“She’s pissed. Kneed me in the cock.”
I can see Oliver wince and cover his own crotch from the corner of my eye, and my orbs crinkle with sympathy. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.” He draws in a ragged breath and holds his head in his hands as he whines, “What am I gonna do?”
That’s a good fucking question. Too bad I have no fucking clue. I suck my teeth and think, trying to come up with some kind of plan.
Oliver clears his throat and mumbles, “She told you not to speak with her until you apologize.” Cian nods. See? I knew bringing Ollie would be helpful.
Oliver blinks twice before glancing at me with a slightly wrinkled brow, like I’m supposed to know what he’s thinking. He uncrosses his legs and runs his hands down his brown corduroy pants. “You could… apologize? Tell her the truth. Be vulnerable.”
Cian and I both tilt our heads to the side as we consider Oliver’s idea. Huh. That could work. It seems too easy. “What if it’s some kind of test?”
Cian nods again, and we both stare at Oliver. Why we’ve decided the thirty-year-old virgin with a habitual tendency toward weeping is the person to trust with romantic advice may just be one of the many mysteries of the universe. But considering my less than stellar track record…
Oliver’s eyes sparkle with amusement, probably just as shocked by this turn of events as me. “Well… you said she knew it was you before you had sex… b-because she said your name during… during,” he clears his throat and croaks out, “…it, right?”
“Yes, yeah—yeah, she definitely said Cian, not Casper.” He dips his head, one corner of his lip lifting slightly at the memory before returning to a frown.
“Why does that matter? She kneed him in the dick after they had sex.” I purse my lips and try not to cringe.
The squonk sighs and wraps one arm around his waist, bringing the other up to his mouth to chew on a nail. “Well, that’s because he already failed her test.”
Cian’s eyes widen and he groans. I squint and nod, pretending I understand what the fuck he’s talking about. Oliver sighs and does some weird tongue flick thing. I shudder involuntarily and glance over at Cian, who looks just as flabbergasted as me.
“It tastes like… disappointed hopes. She was expecting something from you,” his tongue flicks out again and my moth drops open as Cian’s shoulders tense. “She’s still waiting. Which means you didn’t ruin it—not yet anyway.”
“What the fuck was that?” Cian’s voice is a low growl.
“Ollie… did you just taste the man’s lady love right in front of him?
” Bold fucking move, because I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what he did.
My eyes slide down his unassuming form again with renewed interest. Maybe there’s some suave, kinky stud muffin hiding under the patterned sweaters and boat shoes.
Oliver’s eyes grow comically large and he shakes his head with his hands outstretched in front of him, palms out, “N-no. Not… not like that. It’s just h-her tears.”
“Her tears?” All the piss and vinegar oozes out of Cian at that and his voice sounds uncertain.
“Yeah… well, the memory of them. She—she’s not crying right now.” Oliver shifts uncomfortably and takes a deep breath, “the point is, you couldn’t have ruined it if she’s still waiting.”
A small spark of hope flickers to life in Cian’s eyes and he sits up straighter, “but you said I failed her test.”
“Well… you claimed her as yours and then let her sign up for a dating profile right in front of you…” Oliver squints and tilts his head.
“He’s right. You did do that.” I suck my teeth and nod my head, shrugging my shoulders as I toss it around in my head. That probably didn’t help coupled with the mystery pen pal thing.
Cian glares at me and grits out, “Thank you, Seth.” He sighs and shakes his head, “Gabbi wouldn’t leave. I tried—”
“You didn’t.”
Cian’s eyes darken and he opens his mouth to speak, but Oliver cuts him off, “You showed yourself to fuck her,” anger flashes in Cian’s eyes at Ollie’s, quite frankly, shockingly bold words (who knew he had it in him) and the not-so-friendly ghosts nostrils flare as he stands up abruptly.
Oliver gulps and his shoulders hunch up around his neck as he rushes out, “You didn’t care about Gabbi then—but you wouldn’t show yourself to speak with her about why you didn’t want her to sign up for that site!
You basically sent the message that you’ll show up for the physical but not the emotional stuff.
” Cian freezes and then weakly flops back down as Ollie huffs out a weary breath.
I roll my lips into my mouth and raise my brow ridges, glancing off to the side. The squonk is right. Holy shit. Cian’s an idiot. I might be too, but I already knew that much. Before either of us can say anything Oliver’s brows crinkle and he flicks his tongue out again.
Cian looks up at him miserably and frowns, “Please stop doing… that.”
Ollie winces and nods before mumbling, “She’s… uh, she’s crying. Now.”
Cian bolts up as if electrocuted and starts to phase through the floor before pausing and mumbling a begrudging, “Thanks.” Oliver and I meet each other’s eyes and nod simultaneously as Cian disappears below.
It’s quiet for a beat and then a slow smirk pulls at my mouth, “Ollie… you fucking beast. You’ve been holding out on me.”
Oliver blushes furiously and shakes his head before clearing his throat, “N-no. I just… I do a lot of people watching. You know… at the café.”
I hum and nod my head slowly, “Oh, okay. And do you also do a lot of taste testing there?” My brow ridges waggle and he chokes on his spit. A laugh rumbles out of my chest at his response, because that undoubtedly means yes. What a fucking hound. It’s always the quiet ones.