Chapter 26 Tea for the Soul
Chapter twenty-six
Tea for the Soul
Trissa
I’ve been through some pretty weird shit, but my death really tops the cake.
I thought heaven would be like… a white party in the clouds or something.
Instead, when I open my eyes all I see is happy floral patterns intersected in neat rows.
I blink and look down to see that I’m covered by a heavy quilt in the same sorts of florals.
Lifting the quilt I glance at my side, noting that my clothes are exactly as they had been before I’d gone outside to confront Kyle.
The excruciating pain is, thankfully, gone.
I sit up and push the blankets off, slowly swinging my legs over the side of the plush bed and sliding my feet to the warm hardwood floor.
The smell of baked goods fills the air and I follow the scent out of the floral room into an earthen toned hallway.
I can see light coming from the end of the hall and what looks like a cheery orange kitchen.
I glide forward, wondering again if this is heaven or some kind of weird death dream. Can you dream when you’re dead?
As I round the corner into the kitchen a kettle whistles and I freeze, my heart squeezing in my chest. At the hearth, bending forward to lift the kettle from the flames, is my gran.
Off to the side of the hearth, tucked into a homey little alcove is a table set for five.
I blink. A sob escapes my throat and I blink again.
This must be heaven, because sat at the table is Cian…
and he’s smiling and chatting with my parents.
“Hello, love,” Cian’s voice is gentle and his eyes shine with tenderness. My heart lurches in my chest and my eyes fill with tears.
“Cian? What…” I swallow and try again. “What’s happening?”
I don’t wait for his answer though, I rush forward at the same time my parents do and we all meet together in a crushing hug. After what feels like an eternity, but still not long enough, we break out of our little huddle and look at each other.
“Is this heaven?” My eyes feel like saucers as I try to take in this turn of events.
Mom laughs and shakes her head gently, “No, darling.” She sighs but maintains her smile as she continues, “And we don’t have a lot of time, so let us sit quickly and chat.”
My stomach clenches with worry at the thought that I might lose them all again so soon, but I follow my parents back to the table. Gran is hovering now, pouring tea into mugs as we sit. Cian catches my eye from across the table and I smile.
“What is this place?” And why can’t we stay?
Mom looks to my gran and nods gently. Irritation flares momentarily as I remember her part in all of this, but it passes just as quickly when I take in everyone else’s relaxed postures.
I guess we’re all going for peace and forgiveness.
It’s just as well… I can’t really condemn her for bringing Cian into my life, despite what it’s cost everyone at this table.
A small part of me realizes that my own self-worth isn’t high enough to rationalize the pain of all these people in exchange for my happiness. Especially considering the outcome.
Gran smiles sadly and cradles her teacup. “We’re in a spell. It’s the final part of the magic I incurred my own blood debt for.” My jaw drops as I look around again. In a spell?
“Wait, so I’m not dead?” I glance at Cian and can feel the color leech from my face. Is Cian dead? Like dead-dead, not ghost-dead. How is he here? Oh, gods… did the ritual not work?
Gran smiles wistfully, “Calm yourself, dear. All is well. All is contained. You’re not dead. Yet.”
The reassurance her words had started to build topples to the ground with that last word.
“Yet?” My eyes slide around the table, “So I will be…like soon?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“On you, dear.” Gran takes a sip of her tea and I stare blankly at her. I hope it burns her cryptic tongue, the hag.
She chuckles as if she can hear my thoughts.
“Allow me to elaborate.” Her eyes sparkle with mischief and I smile grudgingly at her antics.
I nod and she continues, “The elixir suspended you in time, and brought you both here. There were so many possibilities… the only way to be sure that we could help you and give you some choice in the matter was to make sure we had a way to meet with you, after we were all gone.”
“Okay… I still don’t really understand.”
She nods absentmindedly, “You do have a choice, Trissa. This fate string has brought you to a crossroads. Your earthly body will not survive your injuries. Thanks to the efforts of Cian,” Gran smiles fondly at her once best friend, “and your very determined Reaper friend, you were able to complete the ritual.”
I close my eyes in silent thanks. I owe Seth so much pizza. “Okay. So… Cian is free, right?”
Gran nods, “Yes, he’s finally free. No matter what you decide going forward, Cian will return to the earthly plane as a fully formed phantom. He’s here because we may need him… depending on what you decide.”
I frown, “Gran, please… just come out with it.” My eyes dart to Cian and an uneasiness settles in my chest when I realize he’s purposefully staring down at the table, avoiding my gaze.
“You can either die and cross over—come back to the beyond with your parents and I… or you can bind your eternal soul to Cian and become a phantom yourself. Either way you’ll be some form of dead, and either way, it is irreversible.”
Shock hits me like a wave and I look down at my cup of tea.
I can feel my face heat with the weight of my indecision.
It should be an easy choice. But… I’d always held out hope that I’d be reunited with my family in the afterlife.
To consider giving that up is terrifying.
Do I want to live forever? I stare into my teacup watching blankly as a tear breaks the surface and ripples the dark liquid.
I glance up at Cian from under my lashes but his face is still unreadable. I can see the tension in the set of his shoulders and the white of his knuckles. He’s clearly trying very hard not to influence my decision, and I love him for it.
“Cian…” My voice cracks and his head whips up, almost as if he had been desperate to look, but was waiting for permission.
I lift my own head, meeting his stormy green eyes.
I watch with fascination as his throat works and his jaw clenches and unclenches with all the emotion he’s trying to keep in check, for me.
I can feel the aching heat of his stare as his eyes travel over my face—his yearning so palpable that it sends a tingle down my spine.
His brows twitch with the effort to stay neutral, but the glassy sheen of his eyes can’t be hidden.
A part of me wants him to snap and demand that I choose him.
But a bigger part of me is soul achingly grateful that he doesn’t—that he refuses to, despite how clearly he wants me.
Because he knows that this is the only choice that I’ve ever been able to make myself.
My chest seizes at that thought and my throat clogs up with emotion.
You love him, you melodramatic idiot! So why is this so fucking hard?
I blink twice and look down at the table, the weight of Cian’s eyes still heavy on my face.
I can hear his quick, shuddering intake of breath and an ache settles in my heart at the thought of him being stuck in a perpetual state of being…
alone. I don’t want to walk away from my parents, my gran, but I can’t walk away from Cian.
A weight lifts from my chest at this epiphany, but that same weight sits firmly on my shoulders as I look up at my parents.
My dad smiles, and it’s such a genuine smile that it makes my poor, tired heart ache with fondness. He shakes his head. “You don’t belong with us, Trissy.”
Mom sniffs but nods in agreement. “Everything we all did, we did it to give you,” her wet eyes dart between Cian and I, “a real chance at happiness. To live. You’ve been so sheltered…
so afraid to live. Maybe… maybe in death, you can finally thrive.
” Her eyes dart back to Cian and she gives me a watery smile.
I let out a sob as tears slide down my face.
My heart is so full of love that it’s near to bursting, but fuck—it hurts!
I meet Cian’s eyes again and the breath shudders out of me.
His neck and ears are flushed, and his mouth is just slightly curved down at the corner.
His chest rises as he takes a breath and opens his mouth, only to quickly clamp it shut.
I watch as his jaw works and his twitching brow finally quirks with emotion he can’t hold back.
I smile at him reassuringly and watch as he lets out a shaky breath.
“I love you.” The declaration comes out a whisper, but the intent behind my words is firm. I’ve made my choice.
Cian’s eyes widen in shock and he chokes, “I—I love you. So fucking much.”
I glance back at Gran and smile. “Thank you. I think… I know, I’d like to go home now. With Cian.”
He grabs one of my hands from across the table and holds it tight, tears filling his haunting green eyes and making them brighter.
Gran nods swiftly. “Good, let’s get on with it then. The tea’s getting cold.” Her voice wobbles slightly and her rosy cheeks look suspiciously wet, but she smiles brightly as she looks around the table—at the people she sacrificed everything for. The fruits of her labor from her favor with fate.