Chapter 4 Heidi
HEIDI
"Okay. I'm really leaving this time. Cue the tears."
I pull the last tray of cookies out of the oven and salute my ghostly friend with my oven mitt. "So long, sailor."
Jessica disappears through my kitchen wall, only to pop back into the kitchen for about the sixth time.
She's been faking leaving for the last thirty minutes ever since I woke up to prepare for Silas to pick me up for another day of excavations.
I'm dressed in my usual outfit of what I imagine a paleontologist would wear—practical pants, a tan button-up shirt to hopefully hide some of the dust, sturdy hiking boots, and a coat for the pervasive chill in the underground tunnels.
It's what I've been wearing to nearly every scheduled excavation since we started months ago.
"You're saving a plate of cookies for me, right?" Jess checks.
Turning off the oven, I gesture with a flourish to the covered plate with a sticky note reading "Blue-Haired Poltergeist."
"You can't eat, so…yes," I confirm.
"Not true. I devour with my eyes."
"Hence why you're going to go check out Stephanie's brother-in-law," I grin, bouncing my eyebrows. "Let me know if the cobra matches the ears."
"When have I ever not shared that kind of vital information with you? But on an important note, what if something happens to you when you're off in the Nether? I'm not supposed to leave you alone, you know. I'm supposed to watch over you."
"In that case, I have the horniest guardian angel in the world."
Jess pouts. "Hey. I'm being serious."
This is why I don't know how to let her go. We've been watching out for each other for so long.
"Don't worry. I'll be totally fine," I promise brightly, sampling a warm cookie. "My brother's quintet is so protective it's scary, and it'll probably just be another excavation day like any other."
She contemplates before sighing. "Fine. I'm really going this time, but…listen, El. Maybe it's time for you to finally talk to Face Card. Someone has to know what happened to you in the Nether and about all the no-touchie, self-isolating empathy-on-steroids shit you've been dealing with."
Face Card is what she calls Everett. She has nicknames for all of the Amato quintet.
I try not to grimace at her suggestion. I've gone to great lengths to convince my brother that I'm fine. I agreed to go to the therapy he insisted on after my rescue. Whenever he asks, I say my therapist thinks I'm doing great.
Never mind that she's still working through my early childhood with me and is concerned about the many gaps in my memories from blocking things out. We haven't really gotten to the whole sent-away-by-my-parents-to-be-captured-by-the-Entity thing.
If my brother found out that I was experimented on in the Nether…
Everett put distance between us for years, trying to protect me. He didn't know that I knew, but of course I did. In another world, if I weren't a type four empath, maybe I would have been jealous that the Frosts prized and prioritized him while they kept me hidden from the world.
But I've never held it against Everett, because I felt everything.
His constant stress. His determination to look and act perfect. His terror at the thought of others being punished for his mistakes. Everett kept up a cold facade, but I could always sense his guilt at having to treat me that way, plus he was always sick with worry about me.
Even with the Frosts making things complicated, Everett found ways to watch out for me.
When we were kids, he had his vampire best friend and our only neighbor, Ian Boone, keep an eye on me all the time.
Ian was one of the few people outside my parents' staff who ever knew I existed.
I was one of the only people immune to Ian's awful curse, and he quickly became like a second older brother to me.
At least, I'm pretty sure he thought of me like a little sister.
I was kind of in love with him for a while. It broke my heart when he died almost a decade ago.
Later on, Everett gifted me that lifesaving dampening charm.
He helped get me sent to Koasville in middle school instead of leaving me isolated in my secret room at the Frost estate forever.
For a while, when he was still maintaining his distance, he found "sneaky" ways to send exorbitant amounts of money, thinking I wouldn't suspect it was him.
I've apparently won the lottery three times without ever buying a ticket.
As much as it hurt to see Everett so lonely, I knew he felt it was vital.
I learned about him getting matched up during the Seeking because Jess heard it on a random celebrity gossip channel—and I found out he lost his keeper after I woke up to a brutal winter crawling with shadow fiends and so much loss in the air, I couldn't breathe.
These days, my brother does everything he can to make up for what he calls lost time with me. I love that we're closer, and I love that he's happier than ever now that he has a keeper and a quintet, but he still has some major PTSD.
There's no way I'm about to add my problems to his already overwhelming life.
"I'll tell him when it feels right," I shrug, finally responding to Jess.
She rolls her eyes at me. "Suit yourself, but I'm going to say I told you so when shit hits the fan from you not telling anyone. Okay, here I go. Wish me luck."
"Good luck with your ogling. May your eyes be blessed."
My best friend bows as she leaves, but pops her head in through the front door half a second later, her eyes wide.
"Thirst Trap is here!"
Sure enough, someone knocks, and when I open it, Silas Crane stands on my front porch.
As always, the necromancer's intense blood red eyes are disconcerting to look at directly—and as always, I'm aware that he notices others reacting to his appearance.
Still, I'm pretty sure he's not nearly as bothered by it as I am whenever people stare on the extremely rare occasions I don't have on makeup.
I beam at him and hold up the plate of fresh cookies.
"Good morning! Give me a sec to get these wrapped up for you guys, and then we can…"
I trail off when I notice his body language.
Since Everett made it a rule for everyone to wear a mytherun charm while I'm guiding excavations, one sits on Silas's wrist. I'm not super savvy with magic substances, but mytherun is one I know and love just as much as the next empath.
Charmed mytherun keeps me from having to feel every major and minor emotion of the people who wear it.
Still, I don't have to sense this fae's emotions to know something is going on with him. He seems like he's distracted. Or…unsettled. Maybe tired, too.
"Silas? What is it?"
His red gaze moves to my living room, lit by several cozy lamps since dawn is over an hour away. "May I come in? There are things we should discuss before we transport."
What's going on? Did something happen to Everett? Oh, gods—is one of them hurt? I invite Silas inside and sit on the couch across from him, fidgeting anxiously as the possibilities run wild in my head.
"Nice to see you again, Thirst Trap," Jessica says, waving her hand in front of his face.
Silas glances at her, but says nothing. As a necromancer, he can see ghosts, but not hear them. I've been careful not to let anyone know I'm still hanging out with my dead best friend, so I pretend not to even see Jessica.
"Your driver's side window is shattered," he notes absentmindedly.
"Oh—I was trying to pass a semi truck on the highway yesterday, and it kicked up a rock at the worst possible time," I lie without blinking, noting the dark circles under his eyes.
Silas usually cuts to the chase. If something has happened to my brother, he would've said so by now. Right?
He's still distracted. "Maven, Crypt, and Baelfire won't be at today's dig. Nor will Felix be."
"Why not?" I ask, worry growing. "Are they okay? Gods, did something happen? Are they—"
"They're all in Halfton," the blood fae amends quickly. "Kenzie Baird went into labor with twins early this morning and asked my keeper to be there for the delivery. Maven agreed, obviously."
My worry transforms into relief. During the excavations, sometimes there's not a lot to do besides chat with the others, so even though I've only met Kenzie a couple of times, I've heard so much about her and the pregnancy from Felix.
I know he and his quintet have been dying of excitement to meet their babies.
Gods, I'm so happy for the Baird quintet. Their twins will be so cute.
But Silas looks like the exact opposite of someone bringing good news. One thing I've learned from being around Maven's quintet is that they absolutely hate being apart from her, even for a few hours.
This seems like more than that, though. Even though I can't read Silas's emotions, the general gloom around him is painfully familiar to me.
Almost like…
I clear my throat. "You can tell me to just shut up if I'm overstepping, but it seems like you're…grieving. Are you okay?"
Silas meets my eye finally. Reaching his blackened fingers into some kind of magical nothingness, he pulls out a letter and holds it up.
"Recognize this?"
I blink when I read my own handwriting on it. "Wait, that's…I sent that to the Garnet Wizard months ago. How did you get—"
Oh. If he has that, it can only mean one thing.
No wonder he's mourning.
"I'm lost. Why does Thirst Trap have your letter offering tons of money for another magical emotion-blocking thingamabob?" Jessica asks, lounging on the couch beside him.