Chapter 15 Ian
IAN
I heave up more blood into the toilet just as someone knocks on the door to the rural gas station's unisex public bathroom.
"Hello? Sir, are you okay in there?" a woman's voice calls.
Let's see. Am I okay?
No heartbeat. No money on hand. No cell phone or identification, since I faked my own legal death long before that motherfucking vampyr turned me into a mindless puppet. Nothing but vague, dim, excruciating memories of the last fourteen months.
And then there's the bloodlust.
Oh my fucking gods, I can't stop feeding.
I've had to dispose of five bodies across six states already, and it hasn't even been eight hours since I was freed from the monster who turned me into this.
The agonizing, mind-numbing thirst hasn't let up for a second—not even now, when I've overfed to the point that my body is rejecting the blood, screaming with hunger and painful fullness all at once.
All things considered, I'm going to go with no.
No, I'm really fucking not okay.
I heave one last time before stumbling back to my feet, leaning against the wall of this tiny, shabby bathroom and trying to breathe through the pounding thirst in my head.
Before that damned vampyr turned me into his thrall—drawn to me by my curse, of course—I had left Hawaii and landed in California.
I'd just dropped off Everett's dogs somewhere safe, just in case, and I was remotely monitoring the Nether humans' escape.
One of my closer contacts, who helped deliver supplies to the refugees when they arrived in the mortal plane of existence, was updating me on everything he could.
When he mentioned a horrible winter sweeping over the battlefield, I figured something had happened to Everett's keeper.
Then the Divide fell. All hell was breaking loose—and I was on my way to Heidi. The only thing I could think about was keeping her safe and alive.
But that vampyr got me before I could get out of California. Before I could get to her.
Please still be alive. I have so much left to say to you.
Emotion crawls threateningly up my throat at the thought of not seeing her again, and I breathe slowly through the twist of hunger and nausea in my stomach. Now that I'm a freed thrall, each emotion is so fucking intense that I suddenly have to wipe tears off my face.
The knock sounds again. "Hello? Are you in trouble? It looked like you were covered in blood when you ran in there. Do you need help? I can—"
I'm way too unstable to deal with this noise right now, so I turn and open the door quickly, accidentally breaking the lock with my unchecked strength before I capture the woman's eyes with mine.
As usual, my temples and the back of my neck tingle as her pupils dilate on mine.
"You didn't see me in here. No one's covered in blood. Go back to your car and leave."
She blinks, dazed as she obeys immediately.
I've been skilled with hypnosis all my life, but now that my life's technically over and I'm back as a thrall, it's so strong that it barely takes effort from me.
Everything feels a hundred times more potent.
It's been really fucking useful for helping to cover my tracks tonight—and with getting confessions from the people I stumble across to see if accidentally killing them while feeding would weigh down my conscience or not.
Of the five that's happened to, there were two rapists, one guy who admitted to beating his kid, one recently released ex-convict who was planning on tracking down and killing his ex-girlfriend for testifying against him in court for a violent crime he definitely committed, and one old guy who admitted to some pretty sickening things he got away with in his early twenties.
All in all, some pretty deserving midnight snacks, if you ask me.
But now I seriously need to get the bloodlust under control and figure out what all I missed.
Since no one has lost their mind and tried to kill me out of the blue so far, I've decided my curse must be gone.
However, I'm not sure whether that's because I'm technically dead or because of something else.
I linger beside the bathroom for a second, fighting through the wretched war inside my stomach until I can walk into the rest of the gas station. It's empty now except for the young human guy working the night shift at the cashier. When he glances up and sees me covered in blood, he gasps.
Before he can even open his mouth to scream, I blur to stand in front of him and look him deeply in the eyes, the hypnosis flowing easily. "Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm Ian. Say hi, Ian."
"Hi, Ian," the kid repeats, his blown pupils fixed on me.
"Hi..." I check his name tag. "Horton. Really? Horton? That's your name? Did your parents hate you, or what?"
"I sometimes think they do hate me," he replies slowly, unable to be anything but completely honest under hypnosis. He sways slightly behind the counter.
"Whew—believe me, I feel you there. You should try some therapy for that. Anyway, I need you to hit me with a really short summary of everything that happened after the Divide fell."
Horton's probably too young to drink, but he looks tipsy as he thinks under my influence.
"Um. So like, this really hot kinda goth-ish looking chick was all over the news for assassinating the Immortal Quintet, and then it turned out she was doing it to free a bunch of humans who were trapped in the—"
"After the Divide fell," I prompt again. "Keep up, Hor."
Wow, that's a bad nickname.
“Ton,” I amend.
Nope, that's bad, too.
"I'm going to call you Bob," I decide, peering deeply into his eyes again. "The Divide fell and, then…?"
"And then…the Upheaval happened. There was this never-ending winter, and I had to break up with my girlfriend because my family fled to Halfton because fiends destroyed our house.
Things got really bad, like apocalyptic.
Then after six months, that chick came back from the dead, and everyone freaked out because she turned out to be, like, a daughter of a goddess.
Then this big fight happened, and the Entity was killed.
Now there's no Divide, and that demigoddess and her legacy boyfriends guard the Nether instead.
And my girlfriend and I got back together when we moved back, but I'm pretty sure she has a thing for my cousin now. "
I process all of that. So, Evie's keeper is a demigoddess? I bet that came as a shock. He's always been so gods-fearing.
But if the Upheaval lasted for six months and was as bad as this guy is implying…
Please, please, please still be alive, Sunshine.
"Glad you and your girlfriend made up. You should have a conversation with her about your cousin," I add. "Give me your phone, unlocked."
Horton obliges. His screensaver is of some famous athlete whose name I don’t remember. I swipe out of some mobile game he was playing, and—
Oh my gods. How does someone function with this many unread messages showing on all their apps? Three thousand emails? One of my eyes is twitching already.
I look up, tsking at him. "Be more organized, Bob."
"Okay, Ian," he readily agrees.
Against my will, my attention latches onto his neck for a second. My fangs start to ache, throat siezing tightly as I imagine red pulsing, dripping, gushing…
Flooding my mouth.
Soothing my burning throat.
I brace myself on the cashier counter as I breathe. In. Out. In. Out.
"Hey, Horton. Ever done anything you feel guilty about? Something awful? Hurt someone, somehow?"
"Yeah."
Damn. On the one hand, I really don't want to justify killing him, but on the other, I'm so fucking thirsty. It's suddenly crushing my windpipe as my own pulse rockets through my ears, never mind the fact that my heart is motionless in my chest.
"Tell me about it," I whisper, pinching my nose hard as I fight the onslaught of bloodlust.
Horton hums thoughtfully. "A few years ago, I…I…"
"You hurt someone," I guess, my mouth watering as my fangs burn, ready for action.
"Uh-huh. I stole twenty bucks from my grandpa. He sent me to get groceries and handed me a bunch of cash, but I really needed new wired earphones, so I kept a twenty from the cash and—"
I look up at him, determined not to notice his neck. Right now, Bob is just a floating head to me.
“Twenty bucks? That's it?"
"I should tell Gramps about it," Horton slurs. "But I mowed his lawn a few times for free, so I don't know. Maybe we're even?"
Exhaling slowly from my mouth, I pace away from the counter and back again, pulling fingers through my hair as I do my best to force back the feeding urge ripping through my neck and stomach.
I'm fucking filthy, clothes and hands stained in the blood of five people.
I don't remember the last time I bathed, just like I don't remember all the horrid things that vampyr made me do.
I need a long shower and a good night's rest, and then I need to see Heidi.
Not to mention, I'll have to get Everett's dogs back. Hopefully, they made it through the Upheaval, too. Considering the guy I left them with right before that fucking vampyr got to me, I'm pretty confident that those polar bears are just fine.
Finally, I stop by the counter again, focusing on the kid's phone. I sign out of one of his social media apps, sign into my fake account, and go straight to Heidi's profile.
Please have a recent update. Please show any sign of life.
"Don't sweat the twenty. You're a good kid, Bob," I mutter absentmindedly to him, swallowing hard when I see that Heidi's last update on here is the last one I saw her post before shit went down at the Divide.
In the picture, she's bathed in the sparkle of Starfall Eve lights, standing beside a decorated tree.
A festive drink is in her hand as she winks with all her characteristic flirtatious charm at the camera.
I don't have to scroll to know that the following few pictures include her best friend, Jessica Martinez, and that the caption reads "cheers to starting a new year. "
I trace Heidi's face on the phone, my pulse thrumming despite my stilled heart.
When we were kids, I always thought Heidi was pretty.
Just a cute, innocent little angel—Everett's kid sister and one of the only people who never tried to harm me, thanks to my ill-will curse.
She had these gorgeous brown doe eyes and the cutest little laugh.
If someone told me they bottled sunshine and it turned into her, I would've believed them.
She was so fucking precious.
Every day, I wanted to kill the Frosts for the shit they put her through.
Mostly her mom. Putting Heidi—my Heidi—on those extreme diets when she was still so young, keeping her locked away in their attic, making her try that fucked-up “cutting edge" shock therapy some crackpot invented for empaths that proved to be a complete scam, trying to fucking bleach her birthmark away…
With my boiling anger, bloodlust starts to roar in my ears again.
If the Frosts are still alive, I'm going to kill them now that I’m back.
And if they're gone, I'll be jealous of whoever offed them until the day I die.
A couple of years after Heidi was sent away in middle school to try to live a human life, Everett asked me to check in on her from a distance, using my particular skill set—hacking, hypnosis, information trading, etcetera.
I was relieved to see her living a real life in Koasville, enjoying high school. As I expected, as soon as her family wasn’t suffocating her, Heidi bloomed.
But at some point, checking in on her in the months and years after she graduated school…
I don't know exactly when, but something changed.
Seeing that Heidi was okay—was happy—took center stage in my life.
Even from thousands of miles away, observing her gave me meaning.
I could be lounging on a private Hawaiian beach, staring at the sea and sipping a mojito, and all I could think about was Heidi.
Her smile. What she was doing. Who she was talking to.
What she was wearing.
Fuck.
Sure, I thought she was pretty when we were innocent little kids. I never thought anything of it. That's just who Heidi was—lovely and understanding despite the hell she was put through.
And then she grew up, and so did I.
I should be ashamed of how many times I've scrolled through her social media profiles over the last couple of years.
There's this one post of hers in particular where she's standing on her back porch with a big smile, leaning up against the porch railing, wearing this flowery little sundress that clings to all those curves…
Sundresses should be fucking illegal.
Especially the low-cut V-neck ones.
Fact is, Heidi is the prettiest person I've ever seen. I can't remember the last time I noticed another woman, because for well over a year before the Divide fell, I was in heaven whenever she walked past one of her home security cameras.
Was I fucked up for hacking into her phone, stalking her online, taking a couple of impromptu trips to Illinois to watch her from a closer distance without her ever knowing, and fantasizing about the woman I was supposed to be looking out for?
Yes.
But I did also look out for her. She probably doesn't know where a couple of her shitty ex-boyfriends wound up, and it's for the best. I made sure one got jail time for some of the shit he pulled on her, and a couple of the others experienced karma as I saw fit.
That last scumbag she broke up with for cheating on her—Ryan, was it? I wonder if he's still alive. If he is, I'll keep him chained in a basement as a living snack for hurting her like that.
Long story short, it's a slippery slope, falling for your best friend's sister.
"Who's that?" Horton asks, still loopy under the hypnosis as he glances at his phone in my hand.
"My future wife, if she'll have me," I murmur, feeling something deep inside me calm slightly just seeing this picture of her.
Heidi thinks I died years ago—but if she can get over the nasty shock of me being back and being this, then I'm not holding back anymore. I'm going to show her how perfect I can be for her.
I know she prefers acting human. I'll pretend to be human, too. We can live in her cute, modest house in the woods and get married like humans, if she says yes. Then we'll travel, stay home, or do whatever she wants. As long as I get to be part of Heidi's happiness, I don't fucking care.
And if Everett tries to scare me off again, he can kiss my ass.