Chapter 27 Heidi
HEIDI
Ian starts to protest at the distance I just put between us, nearly reaching for me again before he seems to check himself.
Instead, he leans back against my headboard just like I am as I wipe the remaining moisture off my face from whatever impossible-to-recall nightmare I just had.
When I realize how intensely he's still watching me in the dimness of my bedroom in the early hours of the morning, I give an awkward little laugh.
"Gods, isn't this a blast from the past? Me being a big crybaby, while you have to try patching me up again. Sorry if I woke you up," I add.
"You didn't. What were you dreaming about?"
I hug one of my pillows to my chest, trying to keep my tone light. “I don’t remember what made me cry. But before that, I was dreaming about that time when Crypt DeLune dropped me off. You were the one who found me at the edge of the Frost estate just as he was leaving, remember?"
"Are you kidding? As if I could forget that kind of horror.
You were so pale and terrified and cold and…
" Ian takes a deep breath, his jaw clenching.
"It took me months to get you to tell me the whole story.
I still wish I could go back and rip your mom's godsdamned throat out for sending you off with a complete fucking stranger who could've—"
"I didn't mean to get you worked up," I say quickly, smiling at him despite the lingering chill in my veins from that nightmare.
Desperately needing a distraction, I study the handsome vampire who sits an arm's length away from me.
"Is it officially time for you to tell me everything yet?
Because, as ridiculously happy as I am to see you again, I feel like I'm talking to a ghost."
And not to brag, but I'm kind of the expert on what that feels like.
"I'll tell you everything you want to know," he promises.
It's not hard to put together how Ian is here even after I went to his funeral. Ian's always been smart, and with a curse as awful as he had, it would make sense for him to try to escape it all.
"So, you faked your own death?" I guess.
Ian nods. "I knew my family would end up killing me by accident sooner or later because of my curse.
I decided to just get it over with and get out of there.
I secretly paid a caster to enchant a stake so it would put a strong petrification spell on me as soon as I was stabbed with it, so my heart would stop before it officially stabbed me, and it would look like I was dead.
All I had to do was leave it lying around, and my curse took care of the rest. After everything went down, Everett dug up my grave.
He used an elixir made by the same caster to lift the petrification spell. "
So Everett did know.
I probably shouldn't hold the whole not-telling-me-Ian-is-alive thing against my brother, but it still stings.
After Ian's words sink in, I look at him, trying and failing at keeping the emotion out of my voice. "I'm really, really glad you're not dead."
He grimaces. "About that…" He turns to face me, his blue eyes searching mine. "Before I tell you this next thing, promise that you won't be scared of me."
"Me, scared of you?" I can't help grinning. "Ian. You used to refuse to go out in the rain because you believed it came from the gods flushing their toilets up in Paradise."
A surprised laugh escapes him at that old memory. "In my defense, I was seven, and no one ever says anything about the gods' plumbing situation. It made perfect sense at the time."
"If you say so. I'm just saying, there's no way I can be scared of someone who was once deathly afraid of going out into the 'gods' pee-pee water.'"
He shakes his head at me, his smile slowly dulling until it falls away completely as he takes a deep breath.
"I'm not a vampire anymore, Heidi. I'm a thrall."
I sit up to take on this more serious tone. "Pardon the limited knowledge of a wannabe human like me, but what exactly does that mean?"
"It means that technically, I am dead."
All remaining humor evaporates as I blink at him, unable to process that.
Ian goes on like he dislikes telling me this, but thinks I should know.
"A vampyr who escaped the Nether found me just as the Upheaval was starting.
Thanks to my curse, he wound up snapping my neck…
and then he turned me with his blood, the way a vampyr would turn a human.
I survived and woke up as a thrall—not that it felt like waking up from death at all.
Thralls don't have control of their own minds or actions.
They're just empty, soulless puppets for their vampyr master. "
"You're not a soulless puppet," I whisper vehemently.
He shakes his head. "Not anymore. Asher killed the vampyr who turned me just over twenty-four hours ago, but newly freed thralls are unstable in every way. To put it really fucking mildly," he adds miserably. "What I'm trying to say is, if me being what I am now bothers you—"
My frustrated huff cuts him off. "What bothers me is that you've suffered so much and you're clearly still struggling, and all I want right now is to hug you and make you feel better. But I can't even do that for you."
Ian's gaze pins me. "Yes, you can. Hug me. Please."
I shake my head. "You know what will happen. If I touch you, you'll be forced to feel everything I'm feeling. Then things will get really awkward really fast between us, and I just can't—"
Ian moves blindingly fast until suddenly, I'm wrapped up in his arms with his face pressed into my neck, his breathing turning shaky. Giving in, I embrace Ian back, my heart pounding.
But his breath against my neck and all this much-needed skin contact and his absolutely ridiculous attractiveness is a cocktail that goes right to my hormones. I swallow hard, a flush creeping into my face as sudden, hungry arousal blossoms fast inside me.
I want more touch.
I want to feel him all over me.
In me.
How am I supposed to help it when the guy I used to be in love with is all grown up with his lips pressed up against my neck, and he smells this freaking amazing?
As soon as he feels my attraction and affection for him, Ian's arms tense around me.
"Oh, gods," he gasps raggedly. "Your feelings…holy fucking gods, Sunshine."
The heat is scalding my neck and cheeks now as I do my absolute best not to squeeze my thighs together—or try to press my body fully against his. I clamp my eyes shut.
"Sorry, it's just… I'm a mess right now, and I've missed you for too long, and you're just so—it doesn't matter. I swear I won't make you uncomfortable like this again. You can totally ignore this, because I really need you to be my friend again—"
"Fuck being your friend," he snarls, cradling my face firmly in his hands.
And just like that, he's kissing me.
Ian Boone is kissing me.
My heart breaks free all at once, galloping out of control as his lips command mine, rough and hungry until I part my mouth slightly, inviting more. Ian's groan is the hottest thing I've ever experienced until he rolls and suddenly, I'm pinned beneath him as he continues to devour me.
His tongue tastes mine, gliding over my lower lip before the kiss grows even rougher. My hands develop a mind of their own, smoothing up his back before my fingers tangle desperately in his hair.
When his hips press down against me like he can't help it, my soul almost leaves my body.
Ian is hard.
Really, really hard.
Oh, my gods.
He's attracted to me. If I take off his mytherun right now, what would I feel? Would I find out that my brother's best friend, who's now back from the grave, is actually heartsick and obsessed with me?
No. That doesn't make sense. That's—
"Fuck, I can't get enough of your feelings," Ian whispers against my lips, kissing me again before he begins trailing attentions down my jaw. "But I can feel your disbelief. Don't you get it, Sunshine? Asher was right. I'm so fucking obsessed with you, I'm sick. And you're the only cure."
I'm so dazed and breathless from those unbelievable words that Ian whispers a gentle reminder for me to breathe as he continues to kiss just below my ear, his lips skimming teasingly along my neck as his hips press down even harder, his own breathing growing ragged.
I can't think as excitement burns through me until I arch against him, desperate for more of these sensations. I jolt, moaning when Ian's tongue drags up my neck, over my pulse—
And then he's gone.
The delicious weight of his body pressing mine into the bed vanishes so fast that it takes me a second to notice.
I sit up, flustered and breathing hard as I see that Ian is now at the other end of my dim room, pressed against the wall with his eyes squeezed shut.
His chest rises and falls rapidly as he fights for air, the same way I am.
"Ian?" I touch the place where he licked my neck as desire screams inside my veins. Did I do something wrong to make him put this much distance between us? "I'm sorry, I—"
"Stop," he shakes his head, finally opening his eyes to watch me with pure torture on his face. "Don't apologize to me. Ever. I'm the one who almost…I could've just—fuck."
His voice breaks just before my heart does when I see tears on his face. He's shaking.
Do thralls have unstable emotions, too?
"I hate seeing you struggle like this," I murmur, still short of breath as I slide off the bed to approach him. "How can I help—"
"Don't come any closer to me right now," he warns, shaking his head hard. "Please. I'm fine, Sunshine. Really. I just need to go hunting for a while. I…” His gaze drops to my neck again before he winces. "I'll come back to you as soon as I regain some control. I promise."
Before I can protest, he's gone. I hear the faintest sound of my bedroom window clicking shut before I sit back down on the edge of my bed, my head still spinning.
I just made out with Ian.
I'm so fucking obsessed with you, I'm sick. And you're the only cure.
Holy gods.
I can still feel his hands on my face and his need pressing down hard against me, but it's going to take another minute for what just happened to really sink in.
I'm still in a flustered daze when there's a soft knock at my door.
"Heidi? Are you awake?" Asher whispers in the hall.
I stumble out of bed, moving like I'm in a trance until I get a hold of myself and crack my bedroom door, blinking up at Asher. "Um…yeah?"
He glances behind me into my bedroom with unmistakable suspicion. "Is Boone in here? I thought I heard something."
"That was just me having a bad dream."
Asher's attention moves back to me, analyzing my bare face in the dimness before he quirks a knowing brow.
"How bad could it have been to get you blushing this pretty?"
I cover my cheeks quickly, fighting a sudden smile because my bodyguard clearly knows what was going on in here.
Also, he kind of just called me pretty.
Reminding myself not to squeal out loud, I try to tame my smile. "It was…so bad. The worst."
Asher sighs, shaking his head. "Damn it, Shorty. No matter how much you trust them, you can't let these horny assholes sneak into your bed at night."
"I really didn't take you for a prude."
"I'm serious."
"If you just stepped out of the Middle Ages and you're worried about my precious reputation being sullied, just wait until you see what they're saying about me online," I joke.
Immediately, his gaze narrows, jaw tightening.
"Which I haven't seen for myself," I amend quickly. "Of course. Because I've been sleeping. And…blushing."
"If Boone or anyone else tries slipping in here again tonight when you're supposed to be resting, I'm going to sleep in here myself to keep them the fuck away from you all night. Fair warning."
"Don't threaten me with a good time," I tease, giving an exaggerated wink.
"You're fucking impossible. Just go back to sleep."
“Make me,” I joke.
Of all the playfully flirty things I've said to get a reaction from Asher Douglas, I really didn't think that was one of them.
But when he steps forward into my room, backing me toward my bed, I realize I’m in trouble.
His green gaze is dark with warning as the backs of my knees finally bump into my bed. I land on my butt on my mattress, my eyes wide and heart racing as he places his hands on either side of me, resting on the bed until he's ever so slightly leaning over me.
When he speaks right next to my ear, goosebumps prickle all over my heated skin.
"Stop pushing me."
I try to swallow. "I—that one wasn't—"
"You know exactly what the fuck you're doing to me.
" His lips come so close to skimming my ear that I shiver, pressing my thighs together as his scent envelopes me.
"I'm going to get this job done. I'm going to keep you safe.
And so help me gods, I'm going to get through this without tying you to this bed and fucking your sweet cocktease body until you learn your godsdamned lesson. Got it?"
Oh my gods.
I want to lean into him so badly—close the distance between us and beg him to please do all of that before I lose my mind.
But something tells me I'm not ready for Asher's temper, and he might actually be pissed if I make this job hard for him.
So instead, I finally swallow hard and nod. “Got it.”
For the barest of seconds, I feel his lips brush against my temple before he straightens, storms out my bedroom door, and closes it soundlessly behind him, leaving me an overheated, confused mess.