Chapter 31 Heidi
HEIDI
When I finish confessing that Ian and I made out last night, followed by Asher's word-for-word warning about not pushing him or he would tie me to my bed and teach me a lesson, Jessica cackles like the madwoman she is.
"I called it!" she shrieks, doing a ghost-style victory lap around the back deck of my house. "I totally called that those two were into you—because spoiler alert, El, they're all into you."
"Not necessarily," I start to protest. "Kaenon just followed me here because Athanis—"
"Was leading him back to his mate, chica."
Whoa. Wait a second.
"What?"
"That's what that sexy priest told me," Jess goes on smugly, folding her arms as I continue to gawk at her.
"Kaenon got one whiff of you and realized you're his mate when you set him free, and that's why he hunted you down and showed up here.
And we both know Zak's been obsessed with you since you were in the Nether.
Meaning, four out of four of the sexy men in your house are super into you. "
I fan my cheeks that are now hot despite the spring chill out here. "Oh. Crap."
This is bad.
Not the whole four-gorgeous-men-are-into-me part. That's still unbelievable, but it's actually giving me a case of the butterflies.
No, it's bad because it means I'll have to pick one of them.
Oh, gods.
"Psst. Admit it, I called it."
"You called it," I grumble, preoccupied with dread over this new problem.
"I'll take my reward for being right in the form of more butterscotch cookies. Now," Jess claps her hands, rubbing them together and chortling like an evil cartoon villain. "Since you're no longer in denial, when are you going to let these guys take you to Pound Town?"
That makes my blush a million times worse as I try not to imagine all four of them. In bed. With me. Kissing, licking, thrusting, and moaning—sweat dripping as they fill me up over and over…
Overheated, I start pacing on my back deck. The woods around my house are stunning in the late-morning light, the ground still damp from yesterday's rainstorm. I want to shift and go for a run to help burn off this sudden arousal pulsing through me.
Or I could just go inside, surround myself in their amazing scents, and...
Like a shoulder devil sensing a moral weakness, Jess starts chanting in a whisper, pumping her fist. "Bone them. Bone them. Bone—"
"I shouldn't bone any of them," I groan. "We've been over this. I just wanted one boyfriend."
"And now you have four—big fucking whoop."
Still pacing, I cover my face. "This complicates things."
"Bitch, what's so complicated about four sexy guys having the hots for you? Step one: Admit you want them back. Step two: Remove clothes and give them a little shimmy. That's it. They'll take it from there."
"First of all, I don't do naked shimmying."
"That's all I've ever done, and guys love it," she shrugs. "That sexy priest is going to lose his mind once I figure out how to take off my stupid ghost clothes."
"Second of all, I still shouldn't be touching anyone because my empath abilities are still on the fritz, remember? And thirdly, I genuinely don't think I'm built for multiple guys."
"Don't worry, you are. I've seen some hot quintet porn out there. You have enough holes, and hands can always be put to good use," she says matter-of-factly.
I stop pacing and give her a deadpan look. "I meant dating. You know I wasn't talking about sex."
"Well, you should be."
"Jess. I love you, but it's time to access the non-horny part of your brain. If that still exists."
"Fine!" she huffs. "Look, El, who said anything about dating? They're into you, and you could just try having some fun with them, no big deal. If it does turn into something, great. Besides, you'll never know if you can handle dating multiple guys all at once until you give it a try."
"But trying usually means failing. And they—" I motion frantically at the back door of my house that leads into the kitchen.
"Are the last people in all the planes of existence that I want to mess things up with.
What if I try with them, but I can't keep all of them happy?
Or they get tired of having to deal with me feeling so much all the time?
Or they realize there are way better, way more legacy-ish options out there?
If I try this and disappoint all four of them and ruin it—"
My voice breaks as I trail off in abject dread, envisioning all of that.
Jessica's expression softens, and she sighs, cradling my face in chilly ghost hands I can't actually feel. "El. I'm going to hold your hand when I say this."
"You're holding my face, actually," I point out. "Pretending to, at least."
"Hush, child. Listen: you need to see your therapist more often and talk to her about this.
Because these fears you're having are bullshit.
You went through some nasty things in the past with your parents and some of the assholes you've dated, but are you really going to let them keep haunting you now?
Let them stop you from dating these guys who, by the fucking way, might just be perfect for you if you give them a chance?
Just think about the obsessed hunks in your house and ask yourself what you really want. No overthinking."
I hesitate, hugging myself against the chill. She's right. I'm letting my past haunt me again. And when it comes to Ian, Zak, Asher, and Kaenon, what I really want is…
To try.
With them.
Would it be the worst thing in the world if I get to know them a little better and see where things go? Maybe I can ignore all the anxiety about possibly messing things up until they lose interest in me.
Even if they do, I can enjoy whatever happens for now. If there's anything I learned from being locked up in the Nether for just over a month, it's that any day could be the last. Why not throw caution to the wind once in a while?
And if it turns out that I can't handle more than one boyfriend right now, at least I'll know.
I'm still pondering all of this when Athanis drifts through the back wall of my house to hover on the deck next to us. I don't understand the deeply sympathetic look he gives me, but it suddenly makes me wonder what my bodyguard and three visitors are still talking about in the guest room.
"You are beautiful, Elise," Athanis assures me vehemently, out of nowhere.
"Um…thank you?"
"My turn," Jessica says, drifting closer to the dead priest with her patented come-hither look. "Do me."
"As you wish. I will think of a compliment befitting your…c—considerable loveliness," he says, looking away shyly.
I try not to laugh, but in the brief interactions I've witnessed between these ghosts so far today, Athanis is clearly in over his head where Jess is concerned. He keeps calling her lovely and stuttering around her. Meanwhile, she keeps going from zero to sixty on him.
"No, no—I mean do me," Jessica repeats. "It's ghost sex time, baby."
Yep, just like that. That's my bestie.
Athanis is flustered. "Once again, I request that you cease calling me baby, for I am no infant. As for your suggestion, I would be a complete lackwit to turn away your…offer…but nevertheless, spirits such as us cannot have…ahem. Carnal relations."
I've never seen a ghost who looks like they're about to melt from having to form words, but he does right now.
"How do you know?" Jess challenges. "Have you ever tried?"
He fumbles. "No, but the attempt in itself would be improper—"
"We're dead, papi. Do you really care about proper when you could be playing with all this?" she gestures up and down her body, adding a hip roll for emphasis.
Athanis can't seem to look away from her ghost body, but he still looks like he's going to be the first person to die as a ghost from sheer forwardness.
Deciding to save him, I clear my throat. "What if I set up a date for you two? Just a casual situation so you can get to know each other."
Jessica's face lights up. "Yes! Good thinking, El."
Athanis is also relieved as he looks at me. "Date? What activities would we do on—"
I tune out of what he's saying when another voice floats on the wind toward me, faint but just barely audible to my shifter ears.
"I don't get it. Her house should be over here somewhere."
Ryan.
My nerves tense at once. My doe is just as alarmed.
"El? What's wrong?" Jessica frowns, unable to hear what's going on without shifter ears.
I'm too busy listening, not breathing as I pick up the faint voices.
"I can sense some serious protective magic wards all over," a nasally voice hums, just as far away and muffled as Ryan's.
"The kind that keeps anyone hostile out.
I bet her scarred-ass brother sent his fucking necromancer over here to hide her house.
No worries—my guys and I will try to get through. Might damage her house a bit."
"I don't care as long as I get in to talk to her," Ryan huffs. "Wait—you're not going to hurt her, though, right? You're just journalists or some shit?"
"Why would we hurt her?"
That's exactly the kind of answer I would give if I was a fae who couldn't lie.
Danger, my doe warns me, her terror overtaking me. Run.
The last time we ran, we got hit by a bus, I remind her. We're not running.
"Is something wrong?" Athanis asks.
I look at the ghosts on my back deck, putting on a convincing bright smile so my bestie doesn't freak out. If I tell her that Mr. Douchenozzle is back with some fae, she's going to forget all about this date with Athanis and rage at whoever is trying to trespass.
"You guys stay right here and have a little get-to-know-you date preamble, okay? I'll set up something more official for you later, if that's okay. I just remembered something, but I'll be back."
"You sure?" Jess checks, clearly still worried.
"Very. Try to avoid the bad first date topics—you know, exes, trauma, politics, sexual history," I shrug. "Just talk about…ghostly stuff."