Chapter 43 Asher
ASHER
Those words freeze me in place.
Identifying keepers.
Meaning I'm…
No.
Nope. Not happening.
"We're done here. Let's go home," I tell Ian, Kaenon, and Zak as I turn to carry Heidi toward the stairs that will take us out of this musty dungeon.
"What—no, we're not just going home," Heidi protests.
"Yes, we are."
She pushes against my chest, struggling enough that I set her down just in front of the stairs.
Her expression is distressed, but her warm brown gaze is serious as she looks up at me.
"Asher. You're glowing with god magic right now.
You have matches here, and…sooner or later, you should really meet them.
So let's just make it sooner and figure things out. "
I shake my head, cupping her face and kissing her birthmark. Godsdamn, she's just so gorgeous, and every touch affects me more than I can stand. I'm not giving this up.
"Hard pass. I have everything I need already," I tell her, glancing at the other three as they watch with various frowns. Ian is thoughtful, Zak looks concerned for Heidi, and Kaenon, kind soul that he is, looks sympathetic for me. "Ready? I'll just transport us as close as I can to Heidi's—"
"Asher," Heidi interrupts, reaching up to take my face and make me look at her. "This is okay. We'll all make it work. So let's go upstairs, and you can find out who you belong with because—"
"I don't want to risk—" I start to grit.
"Because I'm not going anywhere, either. You're it for me, too," she whispers before looking at the others, too, and smiling softly. "You all are."
Emotion clogs my throat as I gaze down at my gorgeous, eavesdropping, flirtatious, ridiculously irresistible doe shifter.
"She's right," Ian tells me, his blue gaze serious. "It's better to figure this out sooner and find a way to make things work, even if you're matched to other people. You could be platonic with them," he adds.
"Or you'll just accept your place as the forever side piece today," Zak offers, shrugging.
He's probably trying to lighten the mood, but I want to punch him in the face.
Kaenon gives me an encouraging nod. "Fate is mysterious, but perhaps it will be kind today. Have faith in what we have already found, and the rest will fall into place."
They're all in agreement on this.
I'm so torn that it takes Heidi gently gripping my softly glowing hand and pulling me along after her, up the stairs, for me to start to accept that this is happening.
For me, everything is a blur of dread when we get back to the ballroom.
Everyone in here is oblivious to what just happened in the dungeon as they chatter excitedly, watching the other identified keepers who are lining up near the stage to find their groups, one by one.
A few legacies stare as we walk through the crowd, partly because of Kaenon and Ian both being smeared with varying amounts of blood, and partly because of me.
"Asher Douglas is a keeper?" someone whispers as we pass.
The person beside them nods. "Makes sense, actually. I can see it."
"Does this mean he isn't a saint?" another idiot hisses as we get closer to the line of future keepers.
"Why the hell is Skidmark holding his hand like that? Shit, were they dating?"
"If they are, this is going to change that pretty damn—"
"How about you all just mind your motherfucking business for once?" I snap loudly, glaring over my shoulder at the gossipmongers in this area of the massive crowd.
They shut up quickly, but it draws more attention this way as more people whisper.
Heidi squeezes my hand, smiling up at me even though that furrow between her eyebrows hasn't gone away. "We'll be right here."
I try to swallow the hornet's nest in my throat. "We could still just get out of here. We can go back to your place and watch whatever the hell lame romcom you want, okay?"
She half-laughs, half-sighs as she lets go of my hand, shaking her head almost sadly. "Asher. Come on. Get those buns of steel in line."
I glance at the others. "Any kind of backup would be appreciated."
"Stop bitching and go," Ian huffs.
"We've already decided we'll figure shit out," Zak agrees.
Even Kaenon shoos me on.
Godsdamn it.
I move toward the end of the line, but one of the future keepers spots me and gawks.
"Holy shit! Asher Douglas, right? I know you don't know me, but I heard so much about you from my brother—he was a bounty hunter before a banshee got him during the Upheaval.
He said you saved his life more times than he could count and just respected you so much. Hey, just cut in front of me, okay?"
"I'm good," I mutter, grouchy as hell that I'm still glowing with the betrayal of gods or fate or whoever the hell wants to torture me.
A few other people try talking to me, but I'm in a nasty mood now as I move to the back of the line. For a while, I stew in my growing worry and dread as legacies continue to be matched up.
Whether Maven Amato got a tip from one of her relatives in Paradise or she's just smarter than I want to give her credit for, it's clear that her telling everyone to not to be surprised if the quintets aren't balanced today is turning out to be true.
I watched as a newly matched and bound quintet leaves the stage, beaming at each other—three casters, a shifter, and a siren.
In the next matched group, there are two keepers instead of just one.
It's mismatched and strange, but everyone getting their matches is over the fucking moon, most of them leaving the Seeking right away to fuck each other's brains out or get to know each other better.
I'm doing my best not to look at Heidi, Zak, Kaenon, and Ian as I get closer to the stage, because I know it'll be the last straw for me, and I'll storm out of here to stop this from happening.
I'm also trying really fucking hard not to think about everything being a keeper would entail, including how much they affect their quintet members.
I can't count the number of times during the beginning of the Upheaval that I had to carry Everett out of the greenhouse housing Maven's makeshift grave after he'd cried himself damn near to death beside it.
The rest of his quintet also went off the fucking deep end without her.
I've seen other quintets lose members—but the ones who lose their keeper? It's a living hell for them.
I don't want to be in that kind of serious, soul-bound situation with anyone besides Heidi and her guys. I don't want to have to be the fucking leader of people I'm just platonic with, or be responsible for anyone else.
So for the first time in a long time, just as the priest onstage motions for me to step up, I send a prayer directly to the goddess who blessed me as a kid.
Tell fate to make me responsible for them. Make us a quintet. I'll be their keeper.
My feet feel like lead as I step forward to stand before the priest. People are whispering in the crowded ballroom, since enough of them have heard so much about me that they're curious who I'll end up with.
Fate knows best, my valiant fighter, Arati's powerful voice suddenly echoes in my head as the phoenix-shaped blessing on my back starts to burn. Your future matched ones are who they are.
Don't give me that. I'm not giving her up, I add, finally looking down at Heidi in the audience.
She was being brave and selfless, making sure I got up here, but now I can see the concern all over her beautiful face.
Her worry that, no matter how hard we try to make it work, what happens next will tear us apart.
Zak and Kaenon are each holding one of her hands while Ian stands at her back, looking over her shoulder at me with a slight frown.
It's them. It has to be them. Don't do this to me.
I am doing nothing. Your fate has already been decided.
No—please make it them, I plead to the queen of the gods.
Arati doesn't have a reply.
The priest lays his hands on my head and says a few words as I hold my breath, my heart pounding so hard that I think my insides will be bruised for the rest of my life.
When my matches finally light up, I almost fall to my knees.
Heidi almost collapses from relief, too, glowing slightly just as Kaenon, Ian, and Zak are as they keep her from falling. She recovers quickly and takes off with her impressive shifter speed, bolting up the stairs and flinging herself into my arms, wrapping her legs around me as I lift her.
Mine. She's mine.
Thank you.
Heidi is half-crying, half-squealing with joy. "Thank gods, thank gods, thank gods—"
Her lips are suddenly on mine. I don't even care that a bunch of legacies in the audience are whistling and clapping or that the priest is sputtering, telling us to stop and control ourselves. I kiss my woman back with everything inside my bruised chest.
My woman.
When I finally break the kiss and set her down, Ian is already on the stage with us and tips her head back, stealing the next quick kiss. Kaenon wraps her up in a hug, beaming at me over her head while Zak hugs both of them, kissing her cheek.
"That is quite enough!" the priest scowls beside us. "Have some composure! You may be excited, but this is not how we do things at Seekings—"
"Relax. Shit's changing, remember?" Zak reminds the priest, who goes pale when he sees the slight points to some of Zak's teeth that hint at his demonic half.
Then Zak grins at Ian. "Oh yeah—hey, since we're gonna get to be in a quintet now, I hereby release you from your pledge. Inat omicere animaetun uchaer."
"I appreciate that," Ian rolls his eyes.
The priest looks like he's about to faint as he gawks at Zak. "D—did you just dare to utter that demonic tongue during this gods-appointed proceeding?"
"If the gods are half as offended as you are, they can smite me themselves," Zak tells him. "Now, how about getting us nice and bonded to this sexy empath, huh?"