3. Daphne
Daphne
One Year Later
“Drew! What are you doing here?” I ask, hoping I keep the panic out of my voice, as I look at my brother on the front step.
Drew’s been stationed in California. I don’t see him that often. He entered the military when he graduated high school and hasn’t looked back. Sure, he comes back for holidays here and there, but he’s got a woman out west and with our parents being so screwed up, he doesn’t come home much.
“I’m here because I called Dane and heard that he and my baby sister are getting divorced.
He told me you filed and blindsided him.
So, I thought I’d take some leave and figure out why my little sister, who I talk to more than anyone else in my life, didn’t bother to tell me that she was going through a divorce,” he says at once.
That’s Drew. He doesn’t beat around the bush.
Nope, no softening his words. He’s direct and to the point, even when it’s fucking painful, and it is. It’s horribly, insanely painful.
“Dane’s a bastard. You shouldn’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth,” I snap, feeling cornered.
“Mommy!”
I take a deep breath, getting ahold of myself before the tears can fall.
It’s a slight miracle that they haven’t.
Any other day, I might count that as a win.
I can’t today, though. My big brother is standing in front of me, looking perfect.
He’s taken a leave of absence from the military to come deal with the messed-up life of his pitiful little sister.
It’s no wonder he’s the only one our father can stand to look at.
I exhale through my mouth trying to focus on the pain I feel.
Tonight, I can wonder what it is about me that every male I open my heart to finds me lacking.
Today, I have to keep my shit together for Cammie.
I don’t have a choice. If my life has a bright spot at all.
It’s my beautiful, strawberry haired, curly-headed, munchkin.
She’s five and the only thing good in my life.
Cammie deserves a better life than the one she’s getting, but I hope I can do enough to let her know that I love her and always will.
I’d die for my baby. Some days it feels like I am. Especially right now.
“Be right there, baby,” I yell. “Come in, but don’t mention the divorce in front of Cammie.
She might be only five, but she’s sharp as a tack.
Heck, she’s too smart for my sanity,” I warn Drew, before turning away and going back into the living room.
Cammie is in front of the coffee table, playing with blocks while she watches Moana for the one hundredth time.
When she sees me she holds out her hands, “You were supposed ta’ hug me, Mama,” she orders, making me smile.
For a small moment in time, I take time to just feel alive.
Everything is always better when Cammie is in my arms.
“I’m here sweet baby,” I croon, cuddling her to me. My heart instantly settles when her arms are around my neck. I turn when I notice there’s a strange man in my living room with Drew.
“Um …”
“This is Pez. He’s taking over Dad’s position at the club.”
“Hey,” the man says. His voice is gruff, and it sends shivers through me for some strange reason.
He’s got hair that’s a dirty blonde which is slightly long, piercing blue eyes, and the worn jeans and black tee he’s wearing looks as if his muscular body was poured into them.
In another life, he’s the kind of man I would have wanted to get to know, be close to.
I shake that thought away. He probably would have hurt me just like Dane did.
I’m just not the type of girl a man truly wants.
It’s a hard lesson, but I’ve learned it well the last few years.
“Hello … um, Pez. Nice to meet you.” I try to hold his gaze, but it’s so intense, I have to force myself to turn back to Drew. “Dad’s stepping down?”
“Yeah, he’s been half-assing a lot of shit since he and Mom split. You had to know that,” Drew says, and I scoff.
“I know nothing about our father. He wants nothing to do with me. The way I keep trying with him is just a tribute to the fact that I’m half insane. Also, please don’t curse around Cammie. She’s like a sponge.”
“Sorry,” he mutters, with a sly smile. “Not really used to having kids around.”
“Are you two staying for dinner?”
“What if we take you out to dinner?” Pez suggests, taking me by surprise.
“I … uh …”
“That’s a good idea, Dez. C’mon, sis. Let us take you and Cammie out to dinner.”
“Dinner for Cammie is usually McDonalds. I’m not sure that’s the kind of food you two guys eat. I don’t care to fix something here,” I murmur.
“I like nuggets,” Cammie interjects, still looking at my brother and Pez carefully. She’s more guarded around men than a five-year-old should be. I hate that her father is a piece of shit that has hurt me and his daughter more than should be allowed.
“We’ll make do. Go clean up and we’ll play with Cammie in the meantime,” Drew says, moving to take Cammie out of my arms. “You remember me, don’t you, munchkin? I’m your uncle Drew. What if we play blocks together while Mom gets ready for dinner?”
She looks at him, then shakes her head. “No!”
“Cammie, this is Uncle Drew. Remember he came in for Christmas last year.”
“No,” she repeats.
I sigh. “Sorry, Drew. She’s been really clingy lately.
” I don’t add that she’s had to see her father screaming at me and it has changed her.
That’s the main reason I filed for divorce.
I’d grown numb to his cheating. His denials telling me nothing was happening, and it was all in my imagination still echo in my head late at night.
Buried the deepest, however, is catching him with Serena, my ex-best friend.
I push those thoughts away when I look down at Cammie and notice she’s staring intently at Pez. She reaches her hands out and cries out, “I want him!” I gasp before I can stop it, completely shocked.
“What the he—” I give Drew a sharp look to shut him up. “What the heck,” he qualifies, and I smile for the first time in longer than I can remember.
Pez steps up and reaches out his hands to Cammie.
She tries to jump from my hold into his.
He laughs and takes her into his arms like an old pro.
I frown watching them. “She, uh, doesn’t usually take to strangers,” I explain, thinking I should take her back as soon as possible.
I hold out my hands to do just that, but the guy just sidesteps me.
“It’s okay. She and I will get acquainted while you get ready for dinner,” he says.
He walks over to the area in front of the sofa where Cammie’s toys are strewn everywhere.
He lets her down so she can slide in behind the coffee table and start with her blocks again.
Then, this giant of a man, plops down beside my daughter and starts gathering blocks. “Do you want to build a castle?”
Cammie claps her hands, and I can’t see the front of his face, but I’m pretty sure he’s smiling. “Yes! A big one just like in Frozen!”
“Then, that’s exactly what we’ll do,” he laughs.
Cammie claps her hands excitedly. This stranger is showing her more tenderness than Dane has ever shown her, and that’s a sad fact that I’m going to have to live with.
I definitely didn’t pick well when I chose my daughter’s father.
In my defense, I didn’t know what a lying scumbag he was until it was much too late.
I stayed with him after Cammie was born, hoping he’d see the beautiful little girl that we created—one that needed a complete family.
If choosing Dane was my first big mistake, the second was staying with that asshole, hoping he’d change.
That ended when I realized his latest flavor of the month was Serena.
She was the one person I had to vent to—my supposed best friend.
Serena knew how much Dane’s infidelities destroyed me.
The two of them together nearly crushed me.
It was a betrayal from both sides—one I couldn’t run from.
So, I filed for divorce. I’m not sure why he let me stay in the house, but he didn’t fight it.
I know he has an angle, and I find myself living day to day—just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Go ahead, Daph,” Drew urges. “Pez is good people. Plus, I’m here.”
I swallow nervously. My brother thinks I’m worried about leaving my daughter alone with a stranger. Of course he is. I should be worried about that. Instead, I’m wishing I’d chosen someone like him to be Cammie’s father instead of Dane. I shake my head, I’m a mess.
“Okay,” I respond quietly. Turning to walk back to my bedroom, I find myself wishing I could go back and make different choices. It’s not possible, I know that, but it never stops me from wondering just how different my life would be if I had …