27. Daphne
Daphne
When I woke up this morning, I was alone.
That made me immediately sad. Then, I realized I was wearing Eli’s shirt, and the smile hasn’t left my face all day long.
I force myself to get dressed. I take his shirt off, carefully bring it to my face, and breathe in his musky scent.
I fold it and place it gently under my pillow for later.
I’m sleeping in it again tonight. I don’t see me giving it back to Eli.
He’ll just have to deal with it. The thought makes me smile.
“Mama!” Cammie called out as I stepped out of my room. I’d left her with her “eggies” and biscuits to eat while watching Bluey. I wasn’t surprised to see her running toward me holding her biscuit and grinning at me.
“What is it my baby?” I ask, squatting down so I’m on eye level with her.
“I out of eggies and I still hungry,” she giggles.
“You are?” I fake gasp. “What shall I fix you to eat?”
She laughs harder. This is something we do every morning that she eats at home. It’s a good thing Cammie loves chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers. If not, the child would never get protein. She’d live off bread.
She takes a final bite of her second biscuit and with her mouth full she grins, “Want more biscuits!”
I shake my head. “If you promise to eat slow, not talk with your mouth open and chew slowly with your mouth closed, I’ll get you another biscuit.”
“Yay!” she says, jumping up and down, completely ignoring what I said about keeping her mouth closed.
She settles back down in front of her now empty plate while I grab the extra biscuit that I saved for her and put it in her plate with a grin. I make sure her milk cup still has plenty, then I start sorting out what I need to do today.
My gaze moves back to Cammie. The first thing on my agenda is to see if I can make moving to Corbin sound more appealing to my daughter.
If not, I’m going to have to open a shop here.
I could run a catering business outside my home.
That would probably be the cheapest option.
Both ideas are there, but they wouldn’t make me happy.
I want to be closer to Eli. Waking up without him today was very hard for me.
I wanted him there. I know that feeling is only going to increase.
He sent me a morning text to tell me he missed me and that he’d be over as soon as a club meeting concluded.
I know I should probably wait until the ink is dry on my divorce—or at least get the actual divorce—before I live my life with Eli, but why should I?
Dane’s not. Hell, he didn’t even leave me before he began a whole other life. I want to be happy. I deserve it.
With all that in mind, I sit down beside Cammie and when she looks at me, I ask her if we can turn off the television and have a talk.
Her features change, definitely more pensive and I hate that look on my daughter’s face.
She had the same look when I had to tell her about her father and again at the diner when she thought of Ms. Grayson.
“Do you like Eli, baby?”
“Pez!”
I laugh. “Do you like Pez?”
“I wuv him,” she says with a big smile.
“Did you know that if we moved to Corbin that we’d be closer to Pez and we could see him every day if we wanted to?”
“We could?” she asks with her eyes as big as saucers.
“Yeah, and he could eat dinner with us and be there with us for holiday dinners with Papaw and your grandmother.” I wince as I call Mom that.
She’s not a fan of that word or Mamaw. She does love Cammie though.
It’s a different kind of love, much like the one she gives me and Drew, but it’s real.
Mom really tried. Drew told me she was different when Latch, her, and Dad were altogether. I really wish I could have seen that.
“What ‘bout Nana Cory?” she asks, still worried.
“We’d visit her and invite her to our house for holidays. She could even come for sleepovers if she wanted to,” I answer at once. I think of Cory Grayson as family. I want to keep her in mine and Cammie’s lives. Besides, I think she’d really like Eli. I’m actually anxious for them to meet.
“I want to live with Pez,” she demands, her face stubborn.
I fight a smile because it’s the same thing I want, but I can’t promise that to her—at least not yet.
I’m not even sure what kind of relationship Eli is looking for.
“Hey, don’t you think it’s time you call him by his name or something?
He thinks of you as family. I don’t think he’d like you calling him Pez all the time.
” I felt safe saying this, because I know he loves Cammie, and he told me Pez was for the club.
Besides, it’s getting hard to keep talking with her about Eli and her referring to him as Pez.
She taps her fingers against her chin as she thinks about it.
Before she can answer me, the doorbell goes off.
“You think about it,” I say with a laugh as she taps her finger against her chin and scrunches up her face.
She once told me that’s her thinking face because that’s how her Papaw always looks when he’s thinking about stuff. “I’ll go get the door.”
“I’ll come with you!” she cries, jumping down to trail after me.
I look through the side panel glass and smile when I see Eli’s truck through it. I open the door quickly. He already has the screen door open and the minute he can he takes me in his arms. “Damn,” he groans into my neck. “I missed you, Skittles.”
“I missed you, too,” I say softly hugging him close. I don’t know what held Cammie up, but she comes in seconds later, her feet slapping against the oak flooring.
“Daddy!” she cries, causing both me and Eli to jerk apart and look behind us to see if Dane was anywhere around, but he wasn’t.
When she gets to Eli, she holds out her arms for him to pick her up.
He does without even thinking, holding her close as if to protect her. He keeps looking around and frowns.
“Your daddy’s not here, Cammie, honey.”
“Not my other Dad, but Pez. If we all live together, I want him to be my daddy. You said I gotta call him new name cause we fam-wee. I want him for my daddy!”
Oh shit. I look at Eli, panicking. How will I ever explain this to him. “Um … it’s not what it sounds like. He stares at me and then down at Cammie. “You want me to live with you?”
“Fam-wees wiv together,” she explains patting the side of his face, her little eyes looking at him so earnestly it hurts me.
“What Cammie means is, if we move to Corbin then you could see us every day and we could have dinner and you’d be over for holidays and things,” I lamely respond, attempting damage control.
He frowns. “I like Cammie’s idea more,” he says, staring at me and I can tell he’s upset.
Shit.
“Daddy!” she cries and hugs him closer.
“He’s not your dad, Cammie,” I try once more to wade in.
“If we were to get married, I’d be her stepfather, and I don’t see why she couldn’t call me her dad. I kind of like it.”
“You do?” I squeak. You can’t hear me over Cammie’s cheers of happiness.
“You don’t?” he says again, and I shift under the intensity of his gaze.
“I do, it’s just. We hadn’t discussed things. I know that accepting the responsibility of a child that’s not your own is a big decision,” I explain lamely.
“I’m not a young kid, Daphne. I know that. I still want it. I want you.”
“You want to get married?” I ask, my heart beating so hard that it’s hard to catch my breath.
“Pixie, honey, do you think you can give me and your mom a minute or two alone. After we’re done talking, I’ll come find you. I thought the three of us could spend the day at the waterpark. How’s that sound?”
Yay! Okay, Daddy,” she cheers putting a wet, slopping kiss along his jawline. He kisses the top of her head and then sits her down. She goes running back to the living room
“Um, let me just go and turn her television on and we can talk in the kitchen if you want.”
He doesn’t reply he just nods. He follows me and goes onto the kitchen while I turn on Frozen for Cammie and make sure she still has her milk.
Then, I make my way in the kitchen. It’s not a lot of privacy, but it’s hopefully enough to distract little ears.
I pull up a bar stool and sit down, patting the one beside me for him to sit.
He ignores me and crosses his arms at his chest. “Okay, I guess we’ll just talk like this then,” I mutter, mostly to myself.
“You really want to get married to me?” I whisper.
“Absolutely. Don’t you want that?”
“Well, I mean.” I stop talking trying to put my chaotic thoughts in order. “Eli, I’m still married to Dane.”
“You won’t be for very much longer, so you can’t use that as an excuse. Jesus, Daphne, what did you think we were working toward here?
“I just thought we’d take things slowly,” I try to explain, because I can tell he’s hurt.
“I wasted months letting you heal, going so far as to avoid you, because I wanted more than you were ready for. Neither one of us liked that, and you already admitted that to me, Skittles, so you don’t get to take it back now.”
“I’m not denying it. I did miss you. I hated every minute of it.”
“And during that time, I still kept in contact with your daughter—and you let me, Daphne. Don’t you think that’s unusual? Would you have allowed that with any other man? Allow them to continue visiting your daughter?”
“Of course not,” I whisper. I’m actually shocked, just now realizing that I did allow it and only because I knew that I could trust him. I also knew I wanted him in my life … in my daughter’s life.
“That should be proof that neither one of us are in this for something short term.”
“Eli—”
“I don’t think I’ve made a secret of the fact that you’re it for me.
We can go slow to the marriage part if that’s what you want, but I’m not going away.
I love both you and Cammie. You’re mine to hold, love, and protect.
I want to live my live with you and that little girl.
I want everything there is to have with you.
That’s not going to change for me, Daphne.
If it’s not the same for you, then tell me now. ”
I moisten my lips because my throat feels suddenly dry. I try to calm my heart, but I don’t think it’s possible.
“I feel exactly the same,” I answer.
He looks at me but stops himself from coming closer.
“This is it, baby. Decision time. I have a bag with my crap in it so that I can stay here the next three days. I took time off at the club to do it. You and I are going to spend time with Cammie and try to show her that she can move and still see Ms. Grayson. I’m going to tell you about my past. We’re going to face your divorce, while you move closer to the club and where we will build our lives together, and most of all we’re going to do all of this together and if your daughter wants to call me her father, you let her.
She may not have my blood in her veins, but I couldn’t love her more either way. She owns me the same way that you do.”
“You have it all figured out,” I murmur so much fear and happiness inside me, mingling together. I’m having a hard time even saying anything.
“I think I do. I’m just not sure where you stand now.”
“Cammie, baby?” I call over my should.
“Yeah?”
“Let’s go find your bathing suit and floaties for the water park today,” I tell her.
She comes running in the kitchen, all smiles just like I knew she would. “Yay! Waterpark wif my new daddy!” She launches herself at Eli.
He stares at me as a smile stretches across his face, his body relaxing. He picks her up and holds her close. “Love you, Pixie,” he whispers, and I swear my dang ovaries explode.
“Love you, too, Daddy,” she says, in a whisper. Eli just keeps holding her, but I see the tears in his eyes.
This is my family. Now, if I can somehow manage it so that Dane doesn’t cause trouble. If there’s one thing I know about my ex, it’s that if he can … he will.