Chapter Thirty-Two
Thirty-Two
Cassie was so beautiful that it hurt.
She looked purely blissed out, which Nick hoped was from the several orgasms but could very well have been from the frozen pizza they’d finally heated up when they ran out of energy. She sat across from him at the kitchen table, wrapped in a black-and-yellow floral bathrobe, her dark hair loose, flowing down past her shoulders, and when she gave him a tired smile it felt like a dart to the chest.
Because he knew the truth. The painful, unfortunate truth.
He loved her. He loved her with everything he was. And he still might have to let her go.
“So.” Oblivious to his turmoil, Cassie popped the last bite of pizza crust into her mouth and brushed her hands off. “That’s the downstairs.”
Nick nodded solemnly, trying to play it cool. His heart really shouldn’t be beating this fast, despite all the cardio they’d just been doing. “Nice place you’ve got here,” he said. “This tour has been exceptionally thorough so far.”
“I’m known for being detail oriented. My poor kitchen counters, though.” Cassie glanced over her shoulder, and he followed her gaze, his blood simmering at the memory of the things they’d just done over there. “They’ll never be the same.” When she turned her gaze back to him, though, her eyes were more serious.
“Hey.” He started to reach for her, but something in her eyes made him lean back in his chair. “What’s the matter?” Up until now, he’d loved every look he’d put on her face this evening. But he didn’t like the way she looked now.
She stared at her hands, folded on the table in front of her, picking at a thumbnail. “What happens now?” The question practically fell out of her mouth, and her eyes widened as though she hadn’t meant to say it out loud. But she didn’t meet his eyes; her gaze remained fixed on the table.
“Now?” Nick was confused by the question. “Well, we’ve covered the downstairs, so if you’re not too tired maybe we can continue the tour? We can skip the stairs themselves, though. I’m almost thirty; I don’t think my knees can take that.”
That made her look up, brought some humor back into her eyes. “Same.” Her lips twitched in a smile. “The rug burn from the living room is bad enough.” Her cheeks pinked, obviously remembering the cause of that rug burn, and Nick wanted to crawl across the table and kiss her again. It was so nice, being able to do this. To be here with her. Alone here with her.
But she wasn’t done. “I mean now. Tomorrow.” The pink in her cheeks drained away. “Next week, next month. What you said before, about being all in? Is that…Did you mean that?”
“Yes.” His answer was as abrupt and immediate as her question had been. “I meant it then, I mean it now.” His brow furrowed. “You believe me, right?”
“Sure.” But her eyes slid away from his, back down to her hands folded in front of her on the table. “But it’s been an emotional night. There was a lot going on. That’s over now, and once you’re thinking clearly, you’ll remember that you don’t do relationships, and…”
“Listen. I told you. None of that matters anymore. Give me all the strings. All the pressure. I want it all with you, Cassie.” Sitting here with her, Nick couldn’t remember why he’d ever thought otherwise. Situationship Nick didn’t exist anymore; he’d been banished from this earth, just like C.S. Hawkins had. All he wanted was Cassie, and wasn’t that a kick in the head. Because he couldn’t have her. Not long term.
He took a deep breath, which did nothing to help the ache in his chest. But fuck it. She needed to know, and he needed to be brave enough to say the words. “I know you’re not staying. Just my luck, right? Always falling in love with the woman who doesn’t wanna stay.” He couldn’t look at her. Instead he stared hard at the center of the table, boring the pattern of the woodgrain into his retinas. “But I can’t help it. I love you, Cassie. I’ll love you as long as you’re here in Boneyard Key, and you’ll take my heart with you when you go. I don’t know if there’s room for me in your life when you’re back in Orlando, but if there’s any way we can—”
“I’m staying.” The words were a nuclear bomb in the middle of the small kitchen, stopping Nick’s words and almost stealing his breath.
“You…” He chanced a look up at her, and there she was again. All huge brown eyes, shining in the low light of the kitchen, and long dark hair against pale skin. Painfully gorgeous.
“Yeah.” Her smile dawned across her face. “Say it again.”
Nick’s heart soared so high that he’d need to retrieve it from the ceiling later. “I love you.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Now you say it again.”
Her smile widened, and when she blinked a tear hit her cheek. “I love you too.”
His breath caught; how long had it been since he’d heard those words? But those weren’t the words he was looking for. Not now. “And?”
“And…” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “And I’m staying.”
“There it is.” He stood up, tugging her to her feet, because it had been minutes now since he’d kissed her, and this would be their first kiss as a couple in love. He couldn’t wait one more second for that.
“To answer your question,” he said many, many moments later, “I think what happens now is we take this party upstairs. I’ve only gotten half of the tour.”
Cassie gave a hum of assent as he stood up, tugging her to her feet as he did so. “I think I know the perfect place to end it.”
The tour ended sometime around midnight, with both of them wrapped up in each other and in Cassie’s duvet. Slow kisses eventually transitioned into sleep, and an hour or so later the door to the second bedroom swung slowly open on its hinges. After that, the house was completely silent.
···
Nick had never been so happy to get so little sleep.
His commute was also longer than normal: a quick walk down the block instead of down the stairs as the sun just barely crested the horizon. The streetlights were still on outside as he left Cassie’s house, and they blinked slowly out around him as he lightly jogged down the street, trying to get the blood moving in his veins. He was tired. He was sore, having used muscles last night that he hadn’t used in quite some time. He wanted a long, hot shower and to get back in bed with Cassie. Instead he got a lukewarm, thirty-second shower in his place above the café, his hair still wet and curling ridiculously on his forehead when he opened Hallowed Grounds at five minutes after seven.
Thank goodness for all the prep he’d gotten done yesterday, right before he’d gone over to Cassie’s house, gotten possessed, and his entire life had changed. He sliced the lemon pound cake and banana bread, filling up the pastry case before starting on the daily batch of blueberry muffins. Same old morning routine, but his life was no longer the same old life. This morning felt like the beginning of a new era, and he couldn’t wait to see what happened next.
“Someone looks happy this morning.” He’d been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t even heard the chime over the door. Libby had her elbows on the counter and a smug expression on her face. “I was dropping by to see how you were feeling—”
“And to get coffee.” He moved to the espresso machine to start her morning latte without being asked.
“And to get coffee,” she confirmed, “but mostly worried about you and Cassie. Y’all do okay last night?”
Nick almost dropped the milk jug. He glanced over his shoulder and Libby arched a brow. “That obvious, huh?”
“Oh, pretty obvious.” Her smile widened. “Glad you two managed to work everything out. Sophie and I have been getting sick of y’all dancing around each other the way you have been.”
“Look…” Acting stern would probably work out a lot better if he wasn’t fighting a grin. “Things have been complicated between Cassie and me.”
“And now?”
“Now they’re much simpler. Thanks to your grandma.” He popped a lid on her latte and handed it across the counter. “Coffee for Nan today or no?”
“No.” Libby’s smile dipped as she straightened up and accepted her latte. “She’s at home today. Resting. Last night really took it out of her, though you know she won’t admit it.”
“That sounds like her.” But that punctured a small hole in Nick’s shiny balloon of a morning. His brow furrowed. “She gonna be okay?”
“I think so.” But Libby’s eyes were serious as she took a sip. “She doesn’t do a lot of those, you know. Banishings. Even when she was younger. She’s very much a live and let live…well, afterlife and let afterlife?” She shrugged. “Anyway, it takes more energy to fight a spirit than it does to just understand one. She should be okay after a couple days of rest.”
“Let me know if we can help at all.” He was part of a we now. Incredible. He waved off Libby’s offer of payment as his heart swelled, tightening in his chest in the most delightful way. “No charge. Exorcism special.”
Libby snorted. “Say hey to Cassie for me. Tell her I’ll talk to her later.”
The rest of the morning was the same familiar routine, yet everything was different, and his day had a new shine to it. Theo chose a slice of the lemon cake instead of a blueberry muffin, making a short noise of pleasure around the mouthful.
“This is good.” He washed it down with a sip of his usual coffee. “You should make this more often.”
“I think I might.” Nick glanced up toward the ceiling, surprised Elmer hadn’t weighed in on Theo’s reaction. It wasn’t like him not to seize every opportunity he could to point out when he was right.
Theo didn’t notice, breaking off another corner of the cake while he paid for his breakfast. “Oh, by the way. Any idea how Cassie’s doing with the Hawkins House research? I keep meaning to check in on her.”
Nick didn’t even know where to begin. “You should ask today. I bet she’ll have an update.” Understatement.
Breakfast rush ended with Jo and her damn herbal tea, along with a gloating text from Elmer about the lemon cake.
Told you. That lemon cake has always been a winner.
Nick was impressed at Elmer’s restraint. He started to respond when the door chimed again. Nick looked up to see Cassie stroll in like she owned the place. Which, hell. She could ask him and he’d turn over the keys in a second. Along with anything else that would keep that smile on her face.
“Iced hazelnut?” She hoisted her laptop bag in illustration, and Nick’s heart fell.
“You’re kidding me. What happened?” Her laptop woes had been solved last night, hadn’t they? Was C.S back? Had they gone through all of that for nothing?
But Cassie’s eyes danced. “Nothing. I guess I got used to working here. Something about the ambience.” She strolled up to the counter, dragging a finger across the surface between them. “Plus, between you and me, there’s this guy who works here. He spends a lot of time texting on his phone?”
Nick nodded, not quite trusting his voice.
“Anyway…” Cassie came around to his side of the counter. This close, she dropped her voice to a low murmur. “Don’t tell him, but I think he’s kinda hot.”
“Oh yeah?” Her T-shirt was thin cotton, and he could feel the heat of her skin under his palm as he smoothed his hand around the curve of her waist. Now that he knew what that skin looked like, tasted like, keeping his hands to himself was a special kind of torture. He dipped his head, brushing his lips against her temple, her cheek, before whispering in her ear. “If it helps, I have it on good authority that he has a thing for you too.”
Cassie gave a happy sigh of relief. “That’s good news.”
“So you don’t just love me for my Wi-Fi?” He was teasing, but his voice came out low, thick. His hand slid around to the small of her back, and God he loved the way she fit against him.
She shook her head, and a lock of hair fell out of her messy bun to brush against her cheek. When she spoke, her voice was low and intimate. The exact opposite of teasing. “I love you for so many reasons.”
He groaned, letting his forehead rest against hers. “Cassie,” he whispered in the heartbeat before his lips touched hers, “I love you too.”
“Ugh. Get a room, you two.” Nick had been so absorbed in Cassie that he hadn’t heard the door chime, but when he reluctantly pulled away from Cassie there was Ramon, standing just inside the door with his arms crossed. He tried to look stern, but his crooked grin gave him away.
Cassie had the grace to blush, but Nick wasn’t going to apologize. “Don’t you have lunch prep to get started?”
“Sure do.” Ramon shook his head as he came behind the counter, slipping past the two of them. “It’s about damn time, by the way.”
Cassie slid her arms around Nick, cuddling herself close and laying her cheek on his chest. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“Just keep it out of my kitchen,” he said as he pushed on the swinging door. “That shit’s unsanitary.”
···
Cassie was the last to leave Hallowed Grounds, packing up her laptop a little before two, just as Nick was counting down the register and saying goodbye to Ramon.
“Any plans tonight?” He kept his voice casual as he finished up the closing paperwork.
Cassie shrugged as she slung her bag over her shoulder and met him at the register. “A couple things to finish up this afternoon, then I’m free as a bird.” She gave a satisfied hum as she lifted her head to kiss him. “You wanna come by tonight?”
“Thought you’d never ask.” One more kiss, on her mouth and then on her forehead.
“Feel free to pack a bag. I think Sarah likes having you around.”
Cassie’s grin fueled his own. “I think your roommate’s as much a pervert as Elmer is.”
Nick was still grinning when he locked up the place and jogged up the back steps to his apartment. His afternoon shower was more leisurely, and he took the time to throw a change of clothes into a duffel bag. He stopped short in the kitchen, dropping the bag on his kitchen table.
“Ah, shit, Elmer.” He moved to the coffee maker, which had sat neglected now for over twenty-four hours. “I haven’t made you any coffee, man. I’m sorry.” He spooned in a half pot’s worth. He was undercaffeinated today; he could certainly use it.
Within minutes the coffee was burbling and Elmer’s familiar cold chill had seeped into the room. Likewise, Elmer’s voice seeped into Nick’s brain. Been a while since you’ve been out all night. Good for you! You and your girl finally make it happen?
“Gross.” Nick poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down on his couch. The battered leather recliner shifted in the afternoon sunlight that leaked through the half-closed blinds. “But it turned out Sarah Hawkins wasn’t a mean old lady. You were right.”
I’m always right.
Nick kept talking, like he hadn’t been interrupted by a ghostly voice in his head. “Her husband was there too, and he was the mean one.” He took a sip from his mug. “He’s gone now, and Cassie’s house is hers again. Well, hers and Sarah’s. I think Mrs. H is sticking around. They seem to be friends.”
In his head there was silence, and at first Nick thought Elmer was done communicating. He rarely gave notice before ending conversations. But half a cup of coffee later he was back. Speaking of sticking around, it’s time I was off too.
Nick sat up straighter. “Off? What do you mean?” Panic fluttered in his chest.
I was never supposed to stay here for good, you know. I just wanted to know that someone would take care of my café after I was gone. No one else ever listened, or took my advice.
“Oh yeah. And I’ve been so open to feedback.” Don’t go, Nick wanted to say. But he forced himself to stay calm and listen. This was the most Elmer had ever volunteered before about why he’d lingered in Boneyard Key. Nick owed it to him to listen.
Yeah, but you’ve been kind. You make coffee for me. You answer me. And then you made my lemon cake.
“The lemon cake? Was that all you wanted me to do before you moved on? Why didn’t you say so?”
Use your brain. You think I stuck around pouting because you didn’t make my lemon cake? God, you’re a dumbass.
Nick choked on his next sip of coffee. Setting the mug down, he coughed until his lungs were clear. “Thanks, man. Always there to make me feel good about myself.”
That’s the point. You don’t need me to do that anymore. You’ve got your girl.
“I think you’re right.” Despite this blow he was being dealt—he had gotten really used to having Elmer as a roommate—Nick couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Cassie being his girl.
You’ve got this town, you’ve got friends, if you’ll let yourself lean on them for a change. And now you’ve got Cassie. Even though there’s still a chance you’ll fuck it up—
“Thanks a lot.”
But the voice in Nick’s head continued like he hadn’t interrupted. I feel better leaving you behind now that I know you’re not alone.
“You stuck around for me?” It was suddenly hard to swallow, and Nick had to blink hard to clear his vision.
Of course I stuck around for you. You think I really give that much of a shit about banana bread?
Nick choked out a laugh around the tears that threatened to fall. “I hope that where you’re going is a better place for you.”
Dolores is waiting for me. At least she’d better be—we were married forty-seven years, and when she went first, she promised she’d wait. She’s a hell of a lot better company than you are.
Nick pinched the bridge of his nose, conveniently swiping at his eyes with his index finger and thumb. “Then you really should get going. You’ve kept her waiting a long time.”
Damn right, I have. And Nick?
“Yeah?”
Get rid of this godawful recliner. It’s a piece of shit.
Another involuntary laugh, and this time Nick didn’t even bother trying to hide his tears. “You got it.” But he was lying; he was going to hang on to that chair until it finally fell apart.
It took a few minutes for the cold to truly dissipate. Even the leather recliner looked different somehow. Duller. Emptier.
Nick picked up his phone. All the texts from Elmer, from every single unknown number, were gone. Wiped, as though they’d never happened.
Elmer was truly gone. Wasn’t that a kick in the ass.
As much as he told himself that this was what Elmer wanted, and he was happy for the old guy, Nick was going to miss him. Elmer had been a voice in his head and a thorn in his side for a long time now, and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do without him.
But Elmer wouldn’t want to hear that. Life was for the living, as he liked to say. So Nick scrolled through his contacts and punched up a number.
Cassie answered right away. “Miss me already?”
“You know it.” He tried to sound casual, but his voice was too strangled, and Cassie noticed immediately.
“Hey. What is it?”
“Elmer,” he finally choked out. “He’s gone.”
“Oh, Nick, no. I’m sorry.” She didn’t ask what had happened, or how it had gone down. She honed in on the important question. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I think I am.” It was only a little bit of a lie. Elmer was right. It was time to look forward. “So hey, I was thinking,” he said, desperate to change the subject.
“About what?”
“It’s Tuesday. Fried chicken night at The Haunt.”
“Ooooh.” He could hear the smile in Cassie’s voice. “I hear it’s life-changing.”
“Meet you there tonight?”
“Or…” Her voice faltered, then returned stronger. “Any way you could get it to go? Bring it over here?”
“Dinner at your place?” The thought was so warming. “I like the sound of that.” Dinner with her, sunsets over the water with her, endless nights in bed with her. He liked the sound of all of that.
“Dinner at my place where neither of us has to cook.” Now the smile in her voice was a laugh.
“I like the sound of that even better.” He leaned back on the sofa, crossing his legs on the coffee table. “Remember, you don’t want me cooking.” He grinned as her warm chuckle came through the phone. “Let me do the prep for tomorrow and I’ll pick up dinner on the way over, okay?”
“Sure. But I have to say, I don’t know if I need life-changing chicken. My life’s pretty great the way it is right now.”
“Yeah.” This time the tight feeling in his chest had nothing to do with grief, and everything to do with the woman on the phone. She’d changed his life for the better, and he couldn’t imagine living it any other way. “Mine too.”