Chapter 8
Grace
“Grace, Jaxon will help with the shop. You need to swallow your pride and let him make you a deal. When you’re back in charge and the shop starts making the money it should you can make it back up to him,” Maura lectures.
She pours two glasses of wine, hands me one, then takes my hand and leads me to the couch. “Now tell me about Rourke. Sorry, Caleb. These military guys always go by last names, and it drives me a little crazy trying to keep track. He is soooo hot. I’ll bet he’s good in bed. Don’t you think?”
I choke on my swallow of wine.
She smiles. “I’ll take that as a yes. He’s a good man. You could do worse.”
“Maura!”
“You know I’m going to speak my mind, Grace. It’s been long enough. You’re too young to let yourself wither away. You’re beautiful, kind, talented, and you have a life to live.
“All I’m saying is that you deserve some fun and attention. The way he looks at you, I’m sure he’s interested. But he may be a little hesitant because of your past. You may have to make the first move.”
“I—I couldn’t. I—I wouldn’t know how.”
“You probably wouldn’t have to do much.” She takes a sip of her wine then taps the glass against her lips.
“Okay, these are some easy ones. A palm on his forearm when you’re walking.
If you’re in front of him, a quick turn and a palm on his chest. My personal favorite would be at the door, when he goes to unlock it.
Turn into his space and just ask him to kiss you. ”
Heat burns my cheeks.
She chuckles. “Okay, little too much too fast. Just keep that one in the back of your mind. I’m telling you. He’s interested.”
“I... I don’t want to be just any port in a storm, and I don’t want to treat him that way either. I don’t know if I can do casual.”
Maura’s face softens. “You don’t have to tell me.
But be honest with yourself without guilt.
Guy would want you to find happiness. All I’m saying is if you have feelings or are attracted to Caleb, you deserve to be happy, and to go for it.
Get back in the dating game at least. Think about it.
You have a whole life ahead of you. You deserve joy and love. ”
I nod. “I will. I promise.”
“Okay, now do you have any time you could give to the veterans’ center this week?
We’ve been short on volunteers the last couple weeks.
That boy, Joe, has been getting quiet again.
His family hasn’t been back. Jax has a guest speaker coming to talk and visit soon, but....
I’m a little concerned about Joe. He responded so well to you.
He said you remind him of his sister who passed away. ”
“I’ll go this week. Tomorrow if I can. I have some paints and canvases in the studio that I wanted to give him.
He admitted he likes art and used to do some sketching but never tried painting.
Some of the other patients liked the idea of working with clay.
I ordered some special air dry clay for them. ”
“Thank you.”
Jaxon and Caleb walk in a few minutes later with a basket of eggs. After Maura divvies them up we say our goodbyes. The ride home is quiet but not uncomfortable.
Caleb goes inside with me and after checking all the rooms, he comes back to the kitchen.
“I want to do some recon outside just to make sure. Lock up behind me and don’t open the door for anyone.
I still have the key you gave me. I’ll have my cell on me, call if you hear or see anything.
If I don’t respond immediately, call Jaxon.
“I’m serious. Do not open the door for anyone but me or Jaxon. If I’m not back in an hour, notify Jaxon.”
“That long? Do you think there’s a danger?”
“No. I’m sure it’s fine, but I won’t take chances with you.”
“I’ll be okay. You be careful.”
Locking the door behind him, I lean my forehead against the cool wood and replay Maura’s parting shot.
You’re young, you still have a life to live. Go for it, my friend. Dip your toes in the water, you might be surprised how good it feels.
I want to. I really, really want to.
Pushing from the door, I head to the bathroom and do something I haven’t done in... in a very long time. Filling the tub with my favorite lilac bubble bath, I hop in the shower, wash my hair quickly, wrap it in a towel, then sink into the warm tub of scented delight.
The silky feel of the water on my skin is so soothing, the scent so relaxing.
I close my eyes as I slide the sudsy loofah over my arms and legs, then over my torso, skimming my nipples.
I plump my breasts. I miss being held. The warmth of another body wrapped around mine, the connection to another human.
Teasing the nipple on one breast, I slide my other hand lower, between my legs. I miss being touched... Wanted... Loved... It’s been so long since I... My release is too quick, too anti-climactic, too functional to be truly satisfying.
I want more. I want... I’ve forgotten how to feel loved... or loveable.
I’m in bed staring at the ceiling when he returns. I see his shadow at the door.
“I’m awake, Caleb. Is everything okay?”
“I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Tomorrow, I want to go again in daylight. Will it bother you if I take a shower now?”
“No. I was just going to get up and make some herbal tea. Would you like some?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
When I hear the shower come on, I climb from bed slipping on a light robe. Minutes later, I’m staring out the window when I see his reflection in the glass as he comes up behind me.
He leans forward. “Uhm, you smell good. Like spring.”
“Lilac. My favorite flower. I took a long soak in the tub.”
He leans closer, nuzzling my neck. “You smell so... beautiful. You are so beautiful. So addicting.”
Placing a palm on the arm wrapped around my waist, I realize he’s wearing another long sleeve T-Shirt. “Am I?”
“God yes. I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted a woman before. And I shouldn’t.” He leans closer, kissing below my ear and following a path down my neck. “So beautiful. So perfect.”
Sliding his palms over my shoulder he tugs the robe aside, letting it fall to the floor.
Nuzzling the curve between my neck and shoulder, he fingers the spaghetti strap of my satin gown.
His hard body is pressed to mine. I feel his arousal lodged between us.
He splays one palm over my belly, then he gently cups a breast with the other.
His groan reverberates between us. His hips press ever closer to mine pinning me against the counter.
“Yes,” I moan. “Yes, more.”
“God, Grace, you smell so good, feel so good. You fit me perfectly. I want to lean you over the table right now.”
“Do it. Do it, Caleb.”
Lifting me with one arm around my waist, he pushes the chair aside, slides the gown down my body to pool on the floor and leans me forward. Running his palms from my shoulder to my ass again and again. “So soft, so beautiful, so god damn perfect.”
“Is this your thing, you like being behind?” He stiffens behind me and his hands go still.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”
“Please, please don’t stop. I want you, Caleb. I want you. I want this.”
“I... I started doing this so women wouldn’t feel like they needed to touch me or see...”
“Surely your girlfriends—”
“There haven’t been girlfriends. There’ve been hook ups with rules and... prostitutes. I always wrap it and I get tested often. I’m clean and was tested two months ago. The truth is, it’s been almost a year.”
My heart goes out to him. He doesn’t even realize his own worth. So thoughtful. “Caleb, your scars don’t bother me.”
Leaning over me from behind, he kisses my neck. “You are so damn perfect. Beautiful. Sweet. Caring. God, Grace I love everything about you.”
Love. After doubting I’d ever find one, could it be possible that I find two loves in my life?