Chapter 16
February
Two Months Until The Wedding
I enter my apartment like a tornado. My keys clatter as they hit the coffee table. I throw my purse to the floor and Kotka scrambles as it nearly hits her.
“Not now, Koko.” She looks at me like I’ve lost my damned mind. Maybe I have.
I throw open the door to my bedroom and it rattles on the hinges.
In three long strides, I’m at my nightstand, where Babcia’s summoning stone and that despicable earring sit.
I pick up both in my hands and sit on the edge of my bed.
Kotka hops up next to me and nuzzles one of my hands.
She’s here for the show and I don’t blame her.
Gripping the stone and earring in opposite fists, I close my eyes and slam them together.
Again.
And again.
“Answer my call, you bastard.”
I growl and throw the stone and earring to the ground. They ricochet off the floorboards and bounce under the bed. Kotka leaps down from the comforter and follows suit, hiding under the bed frame. I collapse onto my bedspread and cover my eyes with my hands.
“Bad day?” The voice adds gasoline to the fire burning inside me.
I sit up so fast, my vision blurs. Trip is hazy around the edges until his image resolves into full clarity.
“You and Sabrina were together.” I get the words out before he has a chance to act slick, to deftly maneuver the conversation elsewhere. I want to see the reaction in his face, to analyze what this means to him.
The expected shock isn’t there. Instead, he just nods and crosses his arms, his light blue button-down stretching the slightest bit as he does.
As usual, it’s fastened one button too low, but I will not be distracted by his chest. Even if it does look like a buttery caramel I could stuff in my mouth.
“She told you.” It isn’t a question.
“Yes, she told me.” I cross my arms, mimicking him, though I’m a much less intimidating presence when seated on my floral comforter.
“And she told me it was serious. That you were the only other time she’s come close to thinking about an engagement.
” I clap my hands together. “Care to share with the class, liar?”
“You seem upset.” Again, the monotonous delivery.
Could this man show an iota of emotion?
“It reminds me of the night we first met.” A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. “The night you threw the letter opener.” He steps toward me, until he’s standing between my knees. “Tell me something, Elz. Why does my relationship with Sabrina upset you so much?”
“You lied,” I say again. “How should I feel about that? I need to trust you. I thought we were—were…”
He cocks an eyebrow, waiting for me to gather the right words.
“Trying to break the curse together, dammit!”
He has the audacity to look amused. “Why don’t you ever let him see this side of you?”
“What?” I snarl.
“Carter. You’re timid as a mouse around him. I much prefer this side of you. More real.”
“I’m mad at you, asshole! Stop psychoanalyzing me. Carter wouldn’t make me feel like this.” I bite my lip and a tug in the back of my brain questions if that’s true.
He makes a humming sound at the base of his throat. “I don’t think that’s it.” He leans over and places his palms on opposite sides of my legs.
I scoot backward at the closeness of him.
“Trip,” I breathe. “Why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t lie.” His voice is a whisper. “I said that we weren’t together when my grandfather asked me to propose. That is the truth.” His eyes are lighter this close, more hazelnut than espresso.
“But you were together. At one point.”
“Yes. And? We all have history.”
I flinch. They’re the same words I said to Sabrina earlier.
He continues. “Sabrina and I dated for about six months a few years ago. We met when I was working over in London for the summer. Our families have a past of doing business together and we were introduced by a mutual contact. It moved fast, and we were pretty serious. I briefly considered relocating full time to London. But when it came down to it, neither of us was really willing to compromise fully for the other. Things ended between us months before my grandfather came to me with his proposal. That’s one of the reasons I was so infuriated.
I had made my decision, had moved on, and he was asking me to pick a different life. ”
I look down at my lap, away from his eyes. “She said she loved you.”
He breathes out a laugh. “Yeah, Elz. We loved each other. Or what at the time I thought was love, anyway.”
“But it wasn’t?” I’m pathetic. I should crawl under these covers and hide.
His eyes are fiery and he doesn’t break eye contact. My whole body heats at his stare.
“She wasn’t the one. Why does it matter?”
Why does it matter? Trip’s eyes move to my mouth and there’s a fluttering low in my abdomen.
“Elz, are you jealous?” His voice is barely above a whisper.
I shimmy backward on the bed. I can’t think when he’s so close, crowding my space. I’ve never met anyone this physical and he doesn’t even have a body.
“No!” My voice is manic. “What would I have to be jealous of? You’re not even really here, anyway!” I spread my arms wide, indicating the room around us.
His eyebrows pinch and he can’t hide the hurt in his expression. “The other night, at the bar, before we were interrupted, I was trying to say that if we figure this out, if we break the curse, despite my past—”
“That’s all you have, Trip. A past. We don’t know that any of this will work, that you’re ever waking up from that coma. Your future isn’t guaranteed. Stop making plans like it is.”
My pulse speeds like a race car. I’m saying it to wound, but it’s as much for myself as for him. Time to cut this off and cauterize it. Any hope I have needs to be squashed if I want to protect my heart. Several beats pass and then he lifts his hands off the bed.
“Wow.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I thought that’s what we were working toward. Together. Ensuring that there is a future. For me. For Carter.”
“Why? So you can get back together with Sabrina?” I spit out.
“Well, that’s ironic. Like you aren’t doing this so you can keep Carter. Out of some misplaced hope that he’s going to wake up one day and give you what you actually deserve.” A flush rises up his neck, his words come out clipped. I’ve never seen Trip agitated before.
“He does—”
“No he doesn’t, Elz!” His voice is like sandpaper, and he holds out his hands, palms facing upward. “You’re just too moon-eyed over him to recognize it. You deserve so much more.”
I clutch my knees to my chest and bite back tears. My finger traces the outline of one of the flowers on my bedspread. Trip sighs and sticks his hands in his pockets. He tips his head back toward the ceiling, both of us conveniently avoiding eye contact.
“Did you get any information about the safe?” His voice is soft, pensive.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Anything you care to share?”
“Not right now.” I fiddle with the bedspread.
“Great.” He sighs and lowers his head. “Guess I’ll share where the key is when you’re ready to do the same.”
His eyes are on me, but I refuse to meet them. He waits for a few minutes, then moves toward the bedroom door.
I finally turn to face him. “You can leave out the window, you know. This whole thing you have with using doorways? I won’t judge.”
The smallest of smiles graces his lips, but like a camera flash, it’s gone in milliseconds. His hand hovers over the doorknob. Force of habit, I guess.
“Elz. The way you feel about what Sabrina told you?” His eyes pierce mine. “I imagine it’s a lot like how I feel when you look at him.”
Then he’s gone.