Cinder
Eighty-Five
My body was giving up.
The pain became distant instead of loud, and the fight was quieter now. Pain and misery that once riddled my body were now dull phantom pains, pulling me into a dark abyss. And now it was time to embrace it.
I never expected this would be the way I went. In my final days, I expected to be surrounded by family, by the people I loved and those who loved me. I knew I made mistakes, but I thought I had time to fix the damage I’d done. Time was not on my side.
Rory.
Her laugh hit me hard. Every little thing echoed through my mind like a final goodbye.
I was supposed to protect her, shield her from the worst parts of the world and take the blunt force she couldn’t endure.
In a way I did, but he would still get her.
She was stronger than I, braver than me, too.
I could never compare to the woman or the survivor Rory was.
I failed her, and this was my punishment. I’d never get to say goodbye or tell her how proud of her I was. My friends, my family, and the woman I was too scared to love, would never know how much they meant to me.
I hope she knows I fought. I tried to come home to her, but everything was too much—he was too much.
Control was the one thing I thought I was good at, but I failed at that, too.
I’d never been in control of this situation, even when I thought I was two steps ahead of the game.
He was a foot in front of me. He knew my every move.
He was waiting for me, and the secrets I kept finally took over.
While I thought I was tracking him, he was stalking me. He was playing me for a fool.
They were smart though. The Vipers would uncover everything, and my death wouldn’t be in vain. They would find him, and Rory would have closure. I would see it from a different angle, but it was time.
I think of them.
Melisa…the one person I never imagined I would drag into this or attach myself to. The ways she looked at me should have been criminal, but it was real. It was real for me, too. I hoped she knew it.
I hoped Vesper started to write again. Grief was her encouragement, and her music was beautiful. She was always hard on herself, never letting herself heal and move on.
Widow…my best friend. I wished I could tell her I was a bitch to her face, but she’d read it soon. She was there for everything, and I denied her happiness because I was selfish. I wished I could take everything back, but there were only so many things a dead woman could wish for.
Rory…God, I hoped she fought. I knew she was tired of fighting, but I needed her to survive without me. I promised to be with her forever, but it was a promise I broke. I wanted her to know how proud I was of her and the warrior she’d become.
The door slammed open, and my head lolled to the side as the figure's face came into view. He was blurry. He told me his master plan, but my mind was hazy.
“I have parts to deliver,” he beamed as silver caught my eye.
I love you, Rory…